What is the most unusual object you ever used - or still use - for a dildo?

Hot dogs for one as a kid. First one, then another next to it and another seeing how many I could get into my asshole at once. Once my mother wondered where about 4 hot dogs had gone. I said, "I got really hungry when you were out shopping!!!" LOL, I was careful NOT to say, "I got really horny when you were out shopping!!!"

Also, a post on a four poster bed. It went in so easily. Then, I had to clean it up! And once, and I don't know how, I sat on a post I bet was about 2.5" or more in diameter. I was really loose and relaxed that day, it just slid right in. It was really hot and I had positioned myself so there was no way I could fall off the end of the bed while sitting on the post.

Another time I had been out and was really super horny, really super horny. I had been out to a bar, no pickup luck that night. I was parked in a remote parking lot so left the bar and went out and tried to sit on the manual gearshift knob. It was a good sized one, about 2" or so in diameter. For some reason, I was not able to get it up my ass, and as it was a public parking lot I was afraid someone might come to the back of the parking lot and see me. That, was before they had cameras and all everyplace. Oh, was I hot and horny that night. Went home alone and did enemas in the bathtub. Big ones!

I've also used a rubber fist up my ass. It was hard to get in at first, but then it just slid in, eventually. I walked around (indoors LOL) for awhile with it hanging out my ass looking in mirrors. I shot a huge load!

Recently, I used a paper towel holder that had a ball of sorts on the end.

One of my roommates once said, it's hard to find anything in the apartment you haven't stuck up your ass! I draw the line at glass or anything that might break, or anything that might get lost. I am very careful and safe.

The kind flat handle of a hairbrush (plastic and smooth);

In high school, a small glass test tube -- really dumb thinking about that now.

A crayola crayon. I didn't know any better, lol.

The handle of a bendy cooking spatula. I'm not huge on insertion but my girlfriend wanted me to try it with her so we saw this in the supermarket and thought it would be perfect. I wasn't too keen on having it inside me so we got a double dildo with a smaller end.

A few of the enjoyable thngs are. 10 hardboild eggs large zuccani squash water bottle filled w. warm water. thats very nice. cucmbers bannas are to soft shovel handles are good w. a condom on it . a big peppornie sausage is good to. before any of these nice toys several enemas are needed. then a big enema when you are finished

When I was a teenager I saw of the thickest part of a wooden stick used in pool table's. The stick that hit the pool balls. Any way, I inserted two nails at one end and bend them to form a handle. That was my dildo in my butt for a while, until I got a real one.

Vaginally, all sizes and shapes of shampoo and plastic bottles, fruits and vegetables, a large plastic Easter egg, small silicone shaped eggs, water balloons, a waterbabies doll that I "birthed" (mmmhmmm, my favorite!) knubby rubber balls, egg shaped stones, my dildo with the balls and suction base inside of me, crystal paperweights, a rather small rhea egg shoved in a condom, it's fun to experiment, basically, anything small and phallic shaped enough (even not so small or phallic shaped,) and won't come apart/break/hurt my insides, and it's fair game. Maybe I am weird, but I look at all sorts of things, all the time and wonder if I can cram it up my snatch.

This is going to go into the stranger than strange category probably. Maybe even the most expensive dildo category as well. Here goes. I once had been given a rather nice sum of money for services rendered (Completely Legit) and my former boss / lover got so pissed off at me he told me " You can shove that $1500 right up your ass as far as I'm concerned". So it got me thinking. I went home Enema Cleaned my ass real good. Then I rolled the $50's and $100's up into a condom. Got my video camera out to document the event. Lubed up my nicely cleaned hole and did exactly as I was told to do. Shoved them right up in there until the was nothing showing but the end of the condom. I worked the money in and out for a while then decided to go out and blow some of it on nice big new dildo. True Story with video to prove It.

Probably the handle of a 19th century billy club. It had a ridge about the size the ridge on the handle end of a baseball bat, then handle with circular grooves for grip, then another ridge like the first one. About 8 inches with both ridges inserted. It felt great going in, and even better being pulled out. The working end of the billy club was smooth and rounded, not nearly as stimulating.

Later, the leg of a three-legged stool in the dormitory shower, turning the stool upside down and sitting on the upturned leg, then rising and lowering myself onto it. Quite nice.

Also a hairbrush handle that looked like it was designed for the purpose - looked like a douche nozzle but several times as large. Very nice feeling.

Once in a hotel I really needed something. I was using very large felt pens, perhaps 1 1/4" in diameter, so I wrapped it in layer after layer of toilet paper, put a plastic bag over it and used half a dozen rubber bands to secure it and provide narrowed bands. Result was about 1 3/4" in diameter. I had a hard time getting it in, but it felt great once it was in. I gave a lecture to a conference group with it in place. I was missing one color as I used the other pens to illustrate the lecture, but it turned out ok.

My, how much more convenient it would have been to find a lover with a nice penis. It was said of Julius Caesar that he was every woman's husband and every man's wife. Sounds like a good life. Perhaps we are transitioning now to greater freedom to love and make love to either sex.

I have found a new thing, a double-balloon enema nozzle without the enema. As the balloon inside your rectum expands, it gives a nice, stimulating feeling. Of course, it is also just as nice with an enema.

And, oh, wetandwild09, that is a classic! Orchids and karma to you.

Ah... corn on the cob! I worked at a fast food restaurant in high school. We had corn on the cob that rolled around on this butter carousel thing all day. After closing anything left would get thrown away unless we wanted it. When I got it home it was still very warm and butter soaked. It was great.

Butt plugs are the only things I venture to play with because they are safe and cannot get stuck in your rectum.

Warm up an ear of sweet corn-use lube and wow- the kernels going in and out are hot. Best if you take an enema first as the kernels can pick up poo.

A wooden plunger shower curtain rod

I once tried a little statue of a thai dancer, which wasn't all comfortable but still I was very aroused. It was an emergency case because it was in a guestroom and I couldn't find anything else that quick ☺. But I have to admit, there are more comfortable solutions to find. I really like taking a roll-on, but mostly us ejust my fingers.

I haven't used them but I just accidentally found a rich inventory of dildos on Etsy.com. These are wooden, made in England (no export on these) and some made elsewhere. They are made of boxwood (good pun, there!), a very smooth, splinter-free wood (luckily!!). I once saw a picture of a 17th century (I think) Venetian dildo a merchant had made for his wife. It was made of ivory and had a meticulously-painted picture of the merchant decorating the handle in a position to be seen while in use. A product of long voyages and immediate needs. I guess the oddest thong I ever used was the handle of a hand drill. It felt pretty good, but I worried about getting it rammed up into me by accident - there isn't much give in a steel shank on the other end of the drill.

As a teenager I was a drummer in marching band. I spent a LOT of time "dating" marching drumsticks which are about 3/4" thick. I loved putting 2 or 3 inside and then spreading them as wide as I could. In my twenties I carved a big penis shaped dildo out of mahogany a fine grained and splinter free wood. It was as smooth as glass with about 10 coats of varnish. I shaped it like those dicks you sometimes see in porn with a small head, followed by a huge shaft. Mine was 1&1/2 at the head, then growing to about 2&3/4 at the shaft and about a foot long. I spent a whole lot of quality time with it. I kept it hidden from my then 1st wife who wouldn't have understood and forgot about it when we moved to FL in 1980. I think I will make another but with a rubber tube running through it for use as a big nozzle.

The most unusual toy would probably have to be a piece of rope inside of a deflated bike tire innertube as a long dildo. Worked very well, was able to take about 14 inches or so

When I was 11 I stuck a marker up my butt and once I turned on a sqiggle pen and stuck it up my vagina

During my adolescence, the housekeeper introduced me to anal play. On one occasion she was playing with the tire bottle the car. I remember her face clearly astonished when she pulled the bottle from my asshole, and she said: I can see up your throat.

http://www.karkclassics.com/cars/wp-content/uploads/Porsche-Carrera-RS-1972-spare-tire-filler-bottle-manual-2.jpg

I often buy sexy lingerie ,such as the style http://www.dear-fashion.com/Wholesale-Sexy-Lingerie/

I love using an eggplant.Find the right size one and really give your ass a stretch!

Legs of a russian barbie doll. the handle of my boyfriends vibrating razor

I used a knurled piece of 3/4in steel. kinda hurt from the knurling but felt good

I remember for me it was a ribbed toilet plunger, that looked like a series of inch and a half diameter balls stuck together.

Bottles, broom handles, candles, racquet balls, pool noodle. Just about anything that looks like it will fit haha.

My wife's panties! I've had as many as seven pairs inside of me. The feeling of being so full is amazing. They can be very hard to push out and the feeling of needing to expel them but not being able to, is out of this world. Sometimes I can push them out and sometimes I pull them out one at a time. The feeling of pulling them out one at a time is amazing also.

I have a vacuum cleaner extension and a dowel rod that I use as a plunger. I put a pair inside of the extension almost all the way to the end. I then put lots of lotion inside of the tube on top of them as a lube. I insert the tube inside of me and use the plunger to push the panties inside of me. I then put a little lube on another pair and put them in the tube (I don't remove the tube from my bum) and push them in with the plunger. Some days I can take more and some days less.

Also, when I see my wife wearing a pair of panties that I know has been inside of me arouses me too. I'm horny all day when this happens.

The earlier mention of putting panty hose or stockings up my bum and pulling them out sounds intriguing too. I'm going to have to try that.

If I were your wife I would be totally creeped out and angry too. What would she say if she knew?

Not cool and not hygienic, if it is consensual fine, but taking panties that get worn and sticking them in the least hygienic place is asking for trouble.

A long candle

My kitchen pestle (the handle)