What is the most unusual object you ever used - or still use - for a dildo?

Those colorful wand toys filled with bubble making liquid have been on the shelves by the hundreds right before Easter for a few years. I swear that whoever designed that product knew exactly what they were doing! BTW, I don't indulge in the store... I actually buy them.

So. many.

Most recent, the thinner end of a bowling pin.

Eggplants, both Japanese and regular ones.

One GF who had a very high sex drive and when horny, would masturbate using nearly anything, read a story in a magazine I had about a girl using the BRISTLY end of a hairbrush. She would use a lot of lube, got slowly at first, then pick up the pace once she was really excited. Shewould do this until the lube had been whipped into a frothy, foamy mess running out of her.

There are so many items that are popular with women to use as a substitute dildo. I tend to try to find something that is not necessarily popular or obvious. I only offer these suggestions with the understanding I will not be judged and that it is my choices to make.

Items I have used at different times to satisfy myself as a replacement for a normal dildo is

1) a smooth polished screwdriver handle. And be sure it is the handle part and not the blade part. Depending on the size you like you can find all kinds of sizes in the numerous hardware stores or you can use

2) if you have a set of those salt and pepper grinders that you twist the bottom to grind out the salt or pepper on your food then one of those can work. Those are usually 8 or 9 inches long and the top has a wider head where the salt or pepper comes out. Of course you have to make sure it is empty and cleaned out good as i would hate to have pepper or salt up inside me. I think that would be like torture or quite uncomfortable.

Just I wanted to mention those two items and not take up too much space on here.

Kathy M

1) a smooth polished screwdriver handle. And be sure it is the handle part and not the

blade part. Depending on the size you like you can find all kinds of sizes in the numerous

hardware stores or you can use

Kathy M

Man, I had a smoothed down screw driver that had a 5" handle and another like 8" blade. I'd insert that so deep I swore I could see in my belly. It went missing when I moved.... booo

Three bump red rubber dog toy. Its about 6 inches tall with progressively larger bumps. The biggest is more than 8 inch diameter. 2 1/2" Dog ball rubber with the hole in the center for treats-also helps with retrieval-

Yellow bent neck squash, Japanese eggplant, pickles the big sour jarred kind, butternut squash, gourd squash with the long bent necks and bulbous tops-pops and stretches like a big butt plug- used to keep a bunch near the Jacuzzi tub.

A large handled umbrella with a 1 1/2" X 6" handle that had rounded ridges about finger thickness for gripping-nice bumps on the rump.

I can’t believe I haven’t replied to this one...

My list is long, kinky and weird, so here it goes:

- Toilet paper holder (the springy cylinder that goes through the roll)...offers great bounce up and down.

- Screwdriver handles

- Broomsticks

- Plunger handles

- Toothbrush handle

- Vibrating Gillette razor handle

- hairbrush handle

- curling iron (not hot of course!)

- Banana

- Squash

- Cucumber

- Carrot

- Fireplace tools handles

- Roll on deodorant with cap on

- Beer bottle

- Liquor bottle

- Champagne bottle

- Polish sausage

- Pens

- Pencils

- Markers

That’s all I can think of

The thread is MOST UNUSUAL thing

NOT EVERYTHING 😁 😁

you ever stuck up there

You can list a few things

Years ago, I was a night-time security guard. This guard site had a night-stick that was a hard black plastic, about 18 inches long and maybe 1 & 1/2 inches in diameter. After taking flush-out enemas in the bathroom, I would impale myself on the night-stick.

SwitchableSusie

Years ago, I dated a nurse who said there was a position, for a night ER doctor at Beekman Downtown Hospital, NYC comically referred to as "The Rear Admiral" whose job was to remove odd objects from people's rectums.

Years ago, I was a night-time security guard. This guard site had a night-stick that was a hard black plastic, about 18 inches long and maybe 1 & 1/2 inches in diameter. After taking flush-out enemas in the bathroom, I would impale myself on the night-stick.

Did you see this post of mine from 2012?

https://www.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;msg=431559

Did you see this post of mine from 2012?

https://www.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;msg=431559

@SwitchableSusie - I'm glad you brought that up, I wanted to ask you if your husband sanded down the knob on the handle end much on the baseball bat or left it about the same size? And when you mentioned - 'injecting' lube, I assumed that you lubed up the handle as well just for good measure, or am I wrong about that?

Just curious - but it sounds like your husband did a good job dressing it up. 😉

The knobby end of the bat was only sanded to be smooth. It's still has the bulge and when deep inside it just rubs me the right way!

I have a number of syringes and lube shooters for injecting lubricant. My cheeks and the first six or so inches get all lubed up. It's important to lube the cheeks and handle because otherwise the the bat would not slide smoothly past the butt skin.

Get those cheeks all wet and slippery!

Would having the cheeks - 'wet and slippery' be more for 'doing it yourself' than having someone do it for you? When I get pegged - usually by Beth Anne, she keeps my butt cheeks apart, but I guess they do get wet and slippery anyway. 😉 Butt that is beside the point - or knob, since it sounds like one helluva sensation you get from it. 😄

My most unusual object - was the lower part of a piano leg of of a galbraith piano we found on our farm after a tornado. 😄 I did a little work on it - and borrowed some condoms from an old boyfriend. 😈

Would having the cheeks - 'wet and slippery' be more for 'doing it yourself' than having someone do it for you?

Regardless of the circumstances, even for sexual intercourse, I like the entire area around the vulva to be slippery, wet and wild.

@SwitchableSusie said, 'Regardless of the circumstances, even for sexual intercourse, I like the entire area to be slippery, wet and wild.'

😈

The smaller foam noodles used in swimming pools are fun. You need to shape the end and get it smoothed out. Lot's of lube.

The baseball bat reminds me of the handle of a classic, still popular toilet plunger. The plunger has an accordion-like head instead of the old suction-cup-like head. Its handle is a hollow plastic cylinder about one inch in diameter. The top of the handle has a hollow hemispherical knob designed to be held in the palm of you hand as you plunge the plunger down the toilet bowl. The knob is maybe 2.25 inches in diameter. Cut the handle off, and you've got a fun anal toy, but the knob has a flat bottom that makes it much harder to pull out than pop in. I still liked it.

I once mounted a plunger handle securely on a wall at just the right height. I lubed it (especially the bottom of its knob) and my anus with with half a container of Vaseline, and I backed up to in on all fours until it popped into me. Then I had fun masturbating while fucking myself silly. After months of having fun with the plunger handle (during which I used far too much Vaseline and I had a raw anus a time or two), I switched to a more practical anal toy to fuck myself with, and the plunger handle went unused in my garage for a couple of years.

Then I found a use for the plunger handle again as an enema nozzle in a home made enema rig designed for maximum-fill-rate enemas. I ran a 1-inch diameter vinyl hose from a 5-gallon camp shower bag into the plunger handle. I drilled several small holes in the knob of the handle and sanded down the holes' edges very smoothly. This enema rig could inject me with a gallon of water in mere seconds. I used it to discover the perverse joys of violent colon peristalsis induced by rapid injection of a gallon of water of the hottest safe temperature. I became addicted to expelling a gallon in seconds with a succession of waves of very strong involuntary colon contractions sweeping along the whole length of my colon. Each wave made me flop up and down in my bathtub and grunt uncontrollably while shuddering with full-body rushes of orgasm-level pleasure. Try it sometime. I finally quit after years of countless hour-long sessions with 30-40 hot gallons going into me fast and coming out even faster. The plunger handle split open.

They still make this same plunger these many years later. They never broke the mold. I think I'll go pick one up at Ace Hardware and get my maximum-fill-rate enema rig going again. Thanks for reminding me with the baseball bat story.

@Ms_Lila, @SwitchableSusie , your talks about wet and wild(erness) awake my Indiana Jones who will enjoy to please and tease you in the way you prefer.

Two Midwestern gents here have written about cornholing saying that an ear of corn is used. Also from the Midwest originally, my young friends and I didn't use any vegetable at all. We let our little boners have the honor and privilege.

I stuck an apple up my ass just now in the shower. That was a nice stretch.

Well that's a bit vague- Mackintosh? Granny Smith? Pink Lady? Golden Delicious? Jazz? Gala?

Do tell-and the all important----organic?----Diameter?

Peeled?

I hope you enjoyed it!

Me and my wife have a Michelob horn of plenty glass, they are vintage ,you can find them on ebay, anyway she loves it , it penetrates her and rubs her clit at the same time, very thick glass.

@lick1a Fuji apple, if I remember right. There were two apples. One about 2 inches, the other about 2.5. Managed to get both up my ass at the same time. It was very... filling.

Then used my 2.6 inch glass butt plug that i had just bought.

@lick1a Fuji apple, if I remember right. There were two apples. One about 2 inches, the other about 2.5. Managed to get both up my ass at the same time. It was very... filling.

Then used my 2.6 inch glass butt plug that i had just bought.

Now that's an answer a person can sink there teeth into. So you're an advocate of an apple a day (possible even 2) keeps the doctor away.

I never would have guested Fuji.

Try a honey crisp next time they're delicious.

I'll definitely give that a try!

I’ve used various objects including golf balls,plums,plastic baseball bat,screw driver handle,it’s not long of a list but I guess it’s unusual enough

Never tried a plum... that sounds interesting...?

Here's a fun homemade dildo idea that works really well as a prostate massager:

Materials:

4 golf balls

A foot of hardwood 1/2" dowel

A foot of hardwood 3/4" dowel

Glue that can bond wood and most plastics

A small amount of varnish or polyurethane

Instructions:

1. Drill two holes on opposite sides of two golf balls that are 1/3 of the golf ball's diameter in length, and 1/2 inch or slightly less than 1/2 inch in diameter.

2. Drill just one such hole into the other two golf balls.

3. Use three pieces of 1/2" dowel that are at least a golf-ball diameter in length to join the four golf balls together. Put some glue on the dowels and the in the holes. Use a rubber mallet to hammer the dowels and golf balls together.

4. Use at least a six-inch length of the 3/4 inch dowel for the dildo's hammer. Drill a hole 1/3 golf-ball-diameter in length in one of the outside golf balls that is a diameter of 3/4 inch or slightly smaller. Put glue on the hole and the dowel. Hammer it into the hole.

5.Paint all exposed wood with varnish or polyurethane. Allow it and the glue to dry overnight..

The next day, lube up your new dildo, lube yourself up, and enjoy! Let me know how it works.

Most years we grow a few cucumbers, usually the knobbly kind.

Most years, one or two of them end up in a condom up my arse. They can be a bit prickly so you have to be careful to smooth them a bit, but the knobbly surface is awesome :-)

And of course, at any time the plants usually offer a selection of sizes.

Here's a fun homemade dildo idea that works really well as a prostate massager:

Materials:

4 golf balls.

Use three pieces of 1/2" dowel that are at least a golf-ball diameter in length to join the four golf balls together. Put some glue on the dowels and the in the holes. Use a rubber mallet to hammer the dowels and golf balls together.The next day, lube up your new dildo, lube yourself up, and enjoy! Let me know how it works.

That does sound interesting butt I'm not sure everyone could start out with golf ball sized toys without some stretching. You can buy that size in anal balls that are tapered to make it easier and you don't risk losing a golf ball somewhere that wouldn't be convenient.

I was friends with a surgeon that was also an ER doc and he told many stories like this about all kinds of stuff lost in someones ass. He had a female Asian resident with tiny hands and he would make her reach up and pull out whatever object that was lodged in someones ass. For her reward he would let her be the first one do do the next procedure being taught like removing gall bladder or whatever.

It's probably easier to ask what I have not tried to put up my butt. ;-P