What is the most unusual object you ever used - or still use - for a dildo?

Objects like bottles are always great to use =)

A warmed sausage in a condom. Actually two. One for front and one for back.

One of the little Louisville Slugger baseball bats. The type that are a novelty item, too small to play with but exactly like the full size version. I've been using that for a long time.

Nothing is unusual if you've been on Zity for awhile.

My favorite as a teen was my hairbrush handle. Later, a candle and a carrot (warmed).

The largest bicycle tire I could find. Tied one end and crammed it with sand. About 22" of tire. Tied the other end, folded about 6" back on itself and glued it in place. This bad boy is a challenge.

Where to start? A baseball bat, the handle of a hammer, fruits and veggies, a 20 ounce Mountain Dew bottle, a 20 ounce cup, a wine bottle (bottom in first and the neck sticking out), and 15 inches of a wooden clothes rod just to name the ones that I can think of.

Where to start? A baseball bat, the handle of a hammer, fruits and veggies,. . . . .

Come on, be a man about it. I want someone to insert the claw end of the hammer.

ANYONE can do the handle! 😁 😁 😁

Susie - A true blue moderator would show us how it's done! ROFLMAO!

I once had a patient who presented complaining of constipation. He was a little dim. When I asked him how long it had been he asked me if he would have to have surgery. I said surgery, for constipation? I went to do a digital rectal on him and discovered a wooden handle. It was a claw hammer. He was right, he went to surgery.

@liquidsky said

I once had a patient who presented complaining of constipation. He was a little dim. When I asked him how long it had been he asked me if he would have to have surgery. I said surgery, for constipation? I went to do a digital rectal on him and discovered a wooden handle. It was a claw hammer. He was right, he went to surgery.

That's an unusual place to store tools. Did he forget where he'd left it? 😁 😁 😁

I love it when people disclose all the important facts. 😁

There is a book titled "Stuck Up". It's a radiology book about things in places they should never be.

Susie - A true blue moderator would show us how it's done! ROFLMAO!

There ain't enough lube in this world for me to try that.

Last summer I was spending a few days at our lakehouse alone, and I had forgotten to bring along any toys. After a day or two I was feeling quite needy back there, so I started scouring around looking for something appropriate....well, not really appropriate, but you know what I mean. In the garage I found a length of two-inch foam pipe insulation, and immediately I knew I was on to something fun. I cut about an eighteen-inch length, and carefully managed to compress the foam down to about a 1.5 inch diameter, which I wrapped with duct tape every few inches to secure it at the desired diameter. This compression also served to make it stiffer as well. I then wrapped the entire length tightly with cellophane cling wrap, and before using my new toy, covered the business end with a condom. In order to use this hands free, I inserted the handle end between the corner of the matress and box spring on the bed, which left about ten inches or so sticking up. This proved to be the right height for me to get into doggie position and back on to it. I spent the next few days in bliss!

Come on, be a man about it. I want someone to insert the claw end of the hammer.

ANYONE can do the handle! 😁 😁 😁

Why live an ordinary life when you could die a legend...

I was in my shop working one day and had just picked up a new battery post cleaner. I thought that would fit nicely, so cleaned it and lubed it up. I stripped off naked and after fingering my ass for a while I sat on the post cleaner it really stretched me out. After wiggling around on it for quite a while I grabbed the shop vac and let it finish me off. I now keep that post cleaner in a special place so that it doesn't get used for it's intended purpose.

I've used small plastic baseball bat...veggies(cucumbers,yellow squash,zucchini)...bottles love using coconut oil as lube feels great...I've used fruit as well plums and small apples.... golf balls ?

The weirdest/most entertaining object I've ever used was a recorder. I covered it in lube, and in it went. At one point, I farted and I got so psyched when it played a sound through the recorder. My partner ended up walking in on my experimenting, the look on his face was hilarious. Ahh, fun times!

Aside from that I've used a curtain rod (in combination with its bracket), wind chime pipe, the slim portion of a beer bottle, screwdriver, christmas ornaments, fruit and a minture metal model of the Effiel Tower.

Your creativity is only limited by you (and the size of the object).

Make the best of every situation!

Recently worked my way up to a plastic water bottle and finally stretched out enough to have my ass swallow the top hump of the Neuro bottle. God, that one felt good.

I've used most of the things I've found that'll fit up there. MagLite, 2" acrylic ball on a 3/8" shaft, 1" ball on a plastic coated cable (it'll go about 18" up me), various dildos and butt plugs. Possibly the wildest thing was one of the old style rubbing alcohol bottles...the ones that resemble the Space Needle in Seattle. That was a wild sensation. About 3" or so and then tapering quickly down to about 1.5". Fun going in and a lot of fun coming out. Wish I still had it.

Fat end of a small wooden baseball bat, various fruits and vegetables, lemon reamer, rubber pool toy shaped like a rocket, tapered seashells, lots of dildos and butt plugs, etc.

My favorite is the handle of my Le Creuset whisk. It's large and thick with a rubberized coating. Just slip a lubricated condom over it and get to work. And my wife doesn't think twice when she sees it in the dishwasher afterwards. 😉

I just stick to anal toys you can purchase from the web. The one thing I always have wondered about is in the grocery store, I check out the produce section and watch how many english cucumbers are brought, by women and men. They go fast maybe try one myself,

Sweet corn -hah Take off the shucks- point the end if need be-lube up and WOW. You need to clean out first as the kernals will get dirty

I was in the grocery store checkout lane. Two ladies were ahead of me. cucumbers were 3 for a dollar and they had 3 of them .I heard one of them tell the other, well, we can eat one of them. BOO, old joke. but I do many produce insertions, cucumbers, squash, small pears. This summer I had 3 small cukes in and kept them in overnight, felt so good to empty in the morning. I was able to insert 6 small pears this fall also but they wanted out after I had mowed about 2 acres of grass with my zero turn mower. The bouncing around really did a number on me. These things are done only after some serious clean outs with large enemas, many by using my garden hose, outside, naked. Oh what fun. I hate to see the cold weather move in.

I was in the grocery store checkout lane. Two ladies were ahead of me. cucumbers were 3 for a dollar and they had 3 of them .I heard one of them tell the other, well, we can eat one of them. BOO, old joke. but I do many produce insertions, cucumbers, squash, small pears.

Was one Mrs. Wormer, Dean Wormer's wife from the local university? (Animal House) 😜

4-quart

In mid IL, using an ear of corn was referred to as 'corn holing' which makes me laugh every time I see one of the commercials on TV where they are tossing the small bag through a hole in a board. If they only knew the other meaning of that phrase!

Dan

A baby rattle, one narrow end, about 1 inch and a wider end, about 1.25. No lube. Pretty silly of me but I was young (teens).

Sat on a bed post from time to time.

Knife handle.

Screwdriver handle.

Cucumber.

(need I say it?) Bananas.

Grapes.

Illfer, you are right, growing up in southern IL, cornhole had a whole different meaning. Pick a fresh, juicy ear or two and make your way back a few rows into the field for some privacy. Some friends of mine would take along an old blanket and some lube and really enjoy a hot August afternoon!

The most unusual dildo I ever saw was in an antique store. It was a 8 inch cock shaped dildo and when rotated 180 degrees it had a full body representation of Hitler molded in full color molded in! Apparently these were a novelty WW@ item sold as a "f*ck Hitler" statement. I bet more than a few saw use back then. I've always regretted not buying it.

Balls are fun. I can always bear down and pop them out, so not a safety issue for me. Pool balls work well. They give new meaning to the phrase, "behind, the eight ball." (note comma).

I thought I was the only one who enjoyed plunger handles, but as I read this topic, it's not just me.

A certain kind of toilet plunger, (one piece of plastic with an accordion-type plunger head), has a handle with about a 2-inch diameter hemispherical top that quickly tappers down to a handle shaft 1-inch or so in diameter. It's hollow, so you can just cut the handle shaft off easily and use it as a dildo.

I also used one of these toilet plungers to make a very nice homemade enema retention nozzle--easy to insert and stays put under water pressure. I just drilled several 1/4" holes in the hemispherical handle top and sanded it down really well. I adapted the other end with some standard plastic hose and pipe fittings to make it screw into my 1/2" female shower hose fitting.