Food insertions

I love bananas and extra large grapes, especially with a glycerine suppository and a butt plug. Reading Misstress's input on carving corn, however gives me food for thought. ( pun intended)

I used a cucumber once for anal masturbation. It was not the best experience I did not trim the uneven parts of the cucumber before inserting it. I had a sore ass for a few days. I tried it with a carrot as well which was much better because it fit easier and was a lot smaller.

I tried a cucumber. Very different feeling. Like penis and fingers in me better.

I had been looking for a way to syringe some type of food like pudding or mashed potatoes in my ass for the longest time. I was so frustrated because I couldn't find anything to use as a syringe, and I gave up on that goal for a few weeks. But thanks to MissStress's post on her beef jerky dispenser, I realized I had one of my own sitting in a box in the basement. Tonight, I plan on having SO much fun. Thanks to MissStress and the people over at Oster industries. XD

My guy put a cucumber in me it was great at the moment but 5 days later I ended up with. A terrible infection. After 3 trips to my gyno and vaginal suppositories every night for a week I am back. Give me the real thing or genuine DD from now on

Bananas seem to be the go to here.

A few times I've cored a cucumber (left a hole going all the way through it), and pushed some sour cream through it while inserted deep... an amazing feeling.

Hm, once I had a yoghurt enema with mint oil. Was a little bit weird... As for food insertion in my ass, I got plums in me, lychee, ananas-plug, grapes, sour-cherry, so more fruit than veggies. Bananas I don't like, I always worrying about broking in me. Cucumbers were also used on me as plug.

I have inserted several banannas up my butt prior to taping on a diaper. Makes for an very interesting sensation!

Try a bananna then five marshmellows and then another bananna

Hot dogs when i was younger. Smoked sausage with a condom once.

Courgette (zucchini) are great - fix the stem end in a plastic fruit juice bottle and wrap with duct tape to fix firmly to bottle.

Place juice bottle in a heavy shoe/low boot and if need be put a chair leg on shoe toe.

Or tape the bottle sideways to something convenient for side on action.

Courgettes can have a great taper where the fattest bit is the knob end.

Also a medium size tomato, if very hard and unripe, can be good when it's encased in tight trousers and underwear.

Get it in sideways, lots of lube, and it will expand and contract your butthole as you bear down and lift off.

Of course tomatoes do tend to split in the heat of the moment.

(Once it's split you can pour your cum into the cracked tomato and lick it out while imagining it's an asshole).

I recently tried some boiled gnocchi instead of grapes, eggs or cherry tomatoes to fill your but. I came up with the idea when I was preparing gnocchi a while a go. When you rinse the boiled gnocchi under the faucet in a sieve, they get very very slippery and stay slippery when you keep them a bit moist (I also mixed some waterbased lube through them).

So I think they are great compared to grapes or cherry tomatoes, since gnocchi is much more slippery. Therefore it's great to get them inside, because they get quite easy high in your colon and it's great to release them, because they almost all get out at once.

In the supermarket here you've pre-made gnocchi which you just have to boil for 3 minutes. I overcooked them with 2 more minutes to get them a bit more slippery.

Have fun 😃

Ahhh I love using grapes. Just see how many you can get in. Then of course if my cleaned, eat them after.

Sounds like fun I would like to watch

I love to play with veggies.Cucumbers are my favorite.when I want a really good stretch,I have used some of the smaller butternut squash.Veggies are an easily accessed alternative to sex toys.

WOW! I have got to get me a banana! LOL

Probably a good idea to stick with organic, non-GMO products 😃

No, I never have but the story about the gal in the restaurant is hilarious.

A small carrot, pulled straight out the ground with its green leaves/top still on...

When i was younger i would sometimes peel a carrot and slide it into my ass .. they were from the refrigerator and i liked the coolness. Later i 'discovered' cucumbers when i was about 15 and 'tried them on for size' vaginally and i really liked the feel. I did learn that i would have to really take a lot of care in cleaning the outside of the cucumber because i did see some green from the chlorophyll around my lips from where i had inserted them .. i wasn't sure just what was 'up there' as a result .. but from then on i would either put some saran wrap around the cucumber .. and later .. a condom and that took care of the 'green'

One thing i will try again is 'figging' .. that was a couple of years ago now .. and although it felt like it burned like hell .. i really did like the way it felt in my ass. My vagina .. not so much.

Not long ago, I had a woman come into the office with a raging cystitis with significant blood in the urine (hematuria). During the interview for her medical history, she admitted that her boyfriend put a green bean in her urethra about a week earlier and lost it. I attempted to get it out with a flexible cystoscope, but could not get it lined up to get it out. Ended up having to use a large-bore rigid cystoscope and was able get it out that way. The interior of her bladder was eroded in numerous places from the pointy ends of the green bean. I irrigated the bladder to get out all the blood, but ended up having to place a 24FR foley catheter (fairly large) because of continued production of clots that were plugging smaller catheters. Even with a strong and extended dose of antibiotics, it took close to a week before her urine was clear of clots and blood. The foley was removed after 10 days. To say that the entire procedure and ordeal for the woman was painful because of how raw everything was can not be overstated, even with pyridium and ditropan to relax and comfort her bladder. I really felt sorry for her!

The moral of this story is don't mess around with the urethra and the bladder unless you really know what you are doing in order to avoid an embarrassing and painful (and potentially dangerous) situation. There is a lot of bad information regarding technique on this site and the internet, but there is also a great deal of very good information on this site in order to play safe. If you don't have proper sterile catheters or sounds, if you don't understand how to maintain an aeseptic, if not sterile technique, or it you don't know enough to never use any force to insert a catheter or sound, then you have no business playing in this area without a whole lot of additional knowledge. I recommend searching for posts by knowledgeable people (such as Switchablesusie or me) in order to learn a thing or two.

Deke - Excellent advice and well written. Thank you for the post.

Like Deke said, keep foods out of the urethra.

We were at a party once where a man was having his wife insert what I recall was a Slim Jim up his urethra. I pleaded with him not to do it, but he insisted and his wife did insert one the the really long Slim Jim beef jerkys almost its full length up his urethra. He ended up with a horrible urinary tract infection and to make matters worse, he didn't see his physician right away because he was worried about how he would explain it.

I have tried bananas and grapes, but the mashmallows seems like an interesting tryout. I guess some porridge (semi-solid) would be interesting as well. Thanks for good advice about how to administer it into the ass.

Every time I go grocery shopping I often think, what would that feel like up my ass! They're some hot and kinky things in grocery stores! Fortunately, I don't get a hardon standing there feeling the cucumbers! LOL! As a kid, my favorite was seeing how many hot dogs I could shove up my ass at a time side-by-side. My mother once asked, where did those 4 hot dogs go when I was out ... I said, I got hungry! LOL!

Then as I got a bit older, I discovered cucumbers! That, was hot! And my favorite, endless enemas. I was so young when I started enemas. It was so natural and sooo fun. The cucumbers stretched my asshole some, so usually I did them separately else the water was hard to retain with the regular enema nozzles my mother had.

Once when traveling, I picked up a long sausage in the grocery store and shoved it up my ass when I got back to the hotel room. Damn, I had not realized it was HOT sausage. Wow, that, was intense.

As a "punishment" toy, try Ginger Root! Carve it into a plug, slip it in and let the squirming begin. Use saliva as a natural lubricant.

You will love to "feel the burn" 😉

Notwithstanding the horrible stories about fruits and vegetables inserted into the wrong hole, this is a fun topic to resurrect as we get into the farmer's market time of the year. There are so many natural and exotic fruits and vegetables proudly displayed for purchase. I imagine that this will evoke some interesting stories about "natural and organic" items purchased for insertion.

Years ago I travelled in my job two or three days a week, generally by car. Sex at home was nothing special so I learned to really enjoy my nights alone in hotels on the road. I had become very anal erotic and by two in the afternoon while winding down my day and heading to the hotel my mind would be churning as to what I might do once alone. I knew every adult bookstore in my territory and usually I would stop at one and pick up a nice plug or dildo for my evening's entertainment.

On one particular occasion, no naughty stores were around, and I knew that I would be craving something inside me later on so I stopped at the town's local Krogers. Over the years I had experimented with candles, broomsticks and the other "usual suspects" but never anything organic. I probably spent an hour wandering up and down the aisles going over in my head the merits and disadvantages of all sorts of vegetables, and also processed meats. I finally settled on a nice firm but pliable Polska Kielbasa [sp?] that was maybe seven or eight inches long and a little more than an inch in diameter. I knew that I also needed lube, so I really became nervous anticipating checkout!

I managed to get in the express lane with my two items and was greeted by an attractive but matronly lady checker who asked with a smile "were you able to find everything you need?" I am sure my face was red as a beet as I said yes, thanked her, and rushed out of the store! As my embarrassment waned my libido took over and by the time I had driven the remaining few blocks to the hotel I was getting so excited that I was almost shaking. I stuffed my purchases into my overnight bag and checked in without further incident.

Once in my room, I disrobed in a matter of seconds pulled back the sheets and stretched out to further examine my purchase. At this point this sausage was probably the biggest thing I had ever attempted to insert into my butt but it was spongy enough that I thought it would work okay. I needed not worry - my excitement made me more than ready for it. I spread a hotel towel down on the bed beneath me, lubed my anus and rectum with gob of KY, and grabbed my new toy.

At that point I remembered that I had a rubber in my shaving kit, and thought that I should cover the raw meat with it. I rolled it on and added more KY, now ready, I lifted and spread my legs and pushed the sausage against my hole which was opening up in anticipation. It slipped in quickly and I gasped at the sensation. To that point I had never felt anything so good back there! It turned into a very quick masturbation session but one I will never forget!