Are you really who you say you are?

I am absolutely the person in my profile. I'm not sure what the advantage is to pretend you're something you're not - you're not likely to get the best experience for your particular quirks and kinks if you do, right?

And I actually don't think it's "harmless" to be dishonest about your sex on here and I don't get why a man would feel right about tricking someone. Sure, many encounters might be a passing discourse but it's still wrong, in my book, if one person is being mislead about the sex of the person they're engaging in that discourse with.

I always try to be honest. Too many people think they are fooling someone, when it is probably just a matter of time before their lies unravel. Better to be upfront and straightforward even if this is "the Internet". 😃

First, I am female. I have not and will not lie about this fact.

Second, when I talk to someone, whether in chat here or on YIM or however I communicate, I am honest with them and I demand that they be honest with me. Trust is a 2-way street: if I'm going to be open and honest with you, then you need to be open and honest with me. Otherwise, I don't want to waste my time with you, to be blunt.

Third, rules are just that: rules. Rules are a framework that you agree to function within when you sign up for this or any other website. If you don't want to abide by the rules, then you don't need to be here.

Sorry if I'm being blunt or harsh, but this is my stance on the matter.

Too right I am who I say I am?! Why wouldn't I be?

Saying that, I'm not actually a Princess and my name is different but everything I say is me! My experiences, my life 😃

I am about as honest as I can be in all my postings. Like any internet site I keep identifiable personal information to an absolute minimum. Hey I don’t even do online banking and those folks have got more money than I do. I only occasionally go out and check for the black helicopters.

My profile says male and I certainly am. I have posted about my circumcision style, shooting my wad, kissing my wife after she blows me, being a big excessively hairy guy, and different facial hair styles over the years. I don’t think anyone will ever mistake my information for trying to seem like a woman.

Now about the rest of you characters, for the most part I think the bulk of people on the site are pretty genuine. Like most sites there are certain people I see posting a ton; sometimes I wonder if they do anything else in life. Many of those people I really like to read and others are totally screwy and unbelievable. You can usually figure out who is who pretty quickly. Most people on the site are pretty savvy and the really weird people get called on it when it doesn’t make sense, especially by one of the moderators. If someone is going to make up a phony persona they will probably get bored after awhile and stop or they are so totally deranged that they really start to believe they are Napoleon Bonaparte. If anyone picked the name Napoleon Bonaparte as their screen name just to be humorous—well sorry about that.

All I can say is I am who I am! A 40 something Male - With A huge enema fetish and sometimes a anal fetish, butt plugs etc. From time to time, being I am fairly open minded, my kinks and "flavor of the day" changes, but my core kinks, rough age, and sex always remain the same! My legs are too hairy and my knees are too knobby for a dress, Besides I walk like a dork when wearing high heels!

Agreed that there are many 'female' imposters lurking about..I too am on Fetlife with this same user name and have pictures to prove it.

I sure am and everything in my profile is most accurate. If anyone likes what is in my profile, please contact me as I love to chat about enemas past and present.

Oh- I have to Redact names/locations etc but- It;s to protect me and others:>

I'm "As-Is" male, old enough to know better and young enough to fail at so doing.

See- I am *NOT* in search of sexual partners or even cybersexuality as such. I'm here to compare notes on life and our shared delicious thrills which indeed might touch on explicit stuff. That said, I'm quite open in not wishing to have anyone misread me as leading them on. Oh- I do unashamedly and honestly DO admit that a few folks here have&do star in my fantasies. But that's as far as it goes. there's not going to be any IRL meetings for so long as I'm Married.

That's said to the Original Post's issues WrT to general deceit/gender misrepresentation . All we have online is trust and mutual honors.

Folks who violate trusts and honors don;t deserve to ever have another orgasm again.

Personally I take it on a case by case biases otherwise to me you are getting into dangerous ground.

I have a lot of friends who were born men and during the day live out a male life, but at night they act and dress as women, ditto I have friends that after surgery look and behave as women. On here would you define them as a man or woman?

I think the main issue in question here is directed at those who deliberately intend to mislead others, not genuine members whatever their orientation may be.

Do you know what impresses me about this discussion ? It is the intelligence with which people are putting forth their opinions. You sure won't find this erudition on Fetlife or Cindia's. Hmmmm maybe a few on UKGYN. But still impressive discussion from you folks. Keep up the scholarly debate. DrLannec ClinicalUSMLE on Yahoo Messenger

I hope they are who they say they are, there should be no hiding anything why would someone pose as a girl when this forum gives such a great way to express yourself?

Is it possible for anyone to really know who they are? Really, all we have are our internal ideas and what we call perception. How do you "know" that you are what you perceive is "reality".

Seriously, folks should not "fake it" on Zity. We can have all the fun we want and not try to disillusion others.

I am who I say I am here and everywhere else as well. It's a lot easier to be honest than to try and dig yourself out of a lie somewhere down the road!

I have not lied once about me or who I am. I honestly don't see the point to nor does it really benefit me. I'd rather be the honest guy everyone knows me to be then anything else.

Part of this discussion reminds me of when I worked for the airlines. A few years ago, birth dates as well as sex/gender became required by law on all plane reservations domestic and international flights of all passengers. Every so often someone would talk about they are going through the change, or are transgender, or trapped in the wrong body and countless other reasons of what they are/orientation vs what is legally documented on their government issued ID. The answer that is given to them is quite standard. The gender/sex we put on the reservation must match what is listed on their government issued ID. Occasionally I would hear that they have more than one ID and it is not the same on all of them. So the next answer would be they need to list give me the sex/gender on the ID they plan to use. I heard it all about why and what not, and if they look at all as to what their ID picture is.

Here we don't have a way to first hand identify those who are posing as another gender/sex etc. We rely on the honor policy. We are asked to report if someone is abusing it. Yes, cross dressing, transgender, those trapped in the wrong body, gay, bi sexual, etc do complicate things a bit. Perhaps selecting what is on your legal ID and then making a comment in your profile in the very first line of your profile introduction as to your preference/orientation if it is different from your ID is an answer to avoid misrepresentation. Just an idea.

My profile, posts etc are all me and real. Only part in my profile that is fake is my profile name. It is not my real name. I will say it is fairly close to my middle name and a name I have always liked. I am female, 100%. I always have been, I always will be. My government issued ID also states I am female. My ID also states I have red hair. It shows it in my picture. Many health care providers can also verify I am a natural female red head, though that is better served in another thread and not in this one.

Actually I wish that folks would give better honest descriptions in the "Profile" as it would give us a clue about their orientation and feelings. I don't expect everyone to be as honest, open and informative as you are, just a clue to things like orientation.

I have to agree that it is not okay to misrepresent yourself. Men shouldn't pose as women or the other way around. However, I believe it is fine if you are a transgender female because then you are female since you've made that transition. The same goes for trans male. I can assure that my profile is correct, and that I am naturally a female by birth.

I agree with what appears to be the consensus -- everyone should be honest about who they are. I cannot imagine why it would be otherwise. Folks should like (and quite possibly desire) you for who you are. In the spirit of absolute disclosure, my name is actually Marc, live in NY, I am a male (and try to be a gent too) and do indeed wear the hat in my current avatar!

I m definately who i post as being sissy in relationship with a dominant woman who plays strict mummy.

Since zity is a place for people to express their minority pleasures (nappys and using) and enemas and spankings and to read of others experiances it would be be stupidly dishonest for me to pretend to be biologically female.

Chatting is a two way street, if we're both honest, then there's no issues. I don't give out my real name until I really get to know someone, that's to protect me and what I've built for myself.

Unfortunately, I think we've all come in contact with a wack-a-doodle at some point, who said they were someone they weren't. Could be the gender issue, or the magnitude of their "fetish".

It's a shame that people feel the need to put on a charade, but we're all adults here, and they made the decision to lie about certain aspects of their life. In the end, they face the adult consequences to their actions.

😃

Karma to RNinCA. It's just easier to be honest!

Having been a closet enema freak for so long, finding this site was such a fresh breath of clean cold air in a very stale room. I can't help but be honest. Zity has allowed me to be more comfortable with who I am and helps me to enjoy my enemas so much more. I value ideas, opinions and suggestions from all genders, even the "gender benders". As always, thank you all. MRay.

I am indeed from South Africa - that can't be hidden. I am male and ancient. No young man could write as I do. Like many on zity, I am lonely in physical life, with my kink having to be hidden from all except my wife - who tolerates but doesn't participate. For that loneliness to be helped, you have to see as much of me as is safe to reveal; but we all know the Internet isn't very safe. That said, I believe our moderators do their best to keep this as safe a site as possible: I've not had troll trouble. As a professional from a faith community, I have to consider the effect on that community were my identity to become public. It would be negative - think recent Roman Catholic history! So I shall not try to prove anything about myself. Even revealing that I live in KwaZulu Natal is a bit daring. That said, I'm grateful for the lovely accepting culture on this site. I do listen for 'distress calls' (a lot of those are fishing expeditions, too) and do what I can to help.

No fishing, please.

Johnny

I never believed it happened that often, however I recently talked to a friend who found out their 14 year son had been impersonating a lesbian on a forum for several months. His son obtained pics of another girl off the internet which he would use to represent himself and trade with other lesbians. He would then take the pictures of other women and post them all over the internet. In one instance he developed a relationship with one woman that lasted several months, and it only ended after he admitted to being an imposter. The lesson learned is that some people get a thrill out of impersonating someone else and then manipulating people, and if a 14 year old can fool a woman for 3-4 months of daily contact, then there are probably many skilled imposters out there who are never detected.

I have had the experience of having a male try to pull off being a lesbian in e-mail with me. I thought at first that I had made a new pen-pal friend, but it wasn't long before I started getting that sixth-sense that something was not right. The final giveaway was his use of "cunt" in a sentence. I have not in my life ever heard a lady refer to her genitalia as a cunt. It seems to be almost exclusively a male word for female genitalia, and yes, surely there are exceptions, but I think few.

Having "outed" him in my mind, I messed with his head for a couple of letters, and then just quit writing.

Hugs,

Diane

For what it's worth, I'm totally open and myself here on zitty. Why lie or pretend, sooner or later the truth will come out.

And above that, I'm still looking for my own identity, both gender and sexual orientation.

that's why I have no problem showing my picture and go by my real name, I'm also working on coming out the closet too.

Im a real man, im not hiding anything, did however once have a very odd happening where id been chatting on line with a woman and we had arranged to meet in a pub local to her, when she went off on one, saying i wasnt who i said i was etc, how she came by that idea, ive no idea,,,,, never did meet her or chat again.........maybe a lucky escape for me ?

If I were someone else, I certainly would have made my "persona" more interesting 😃

But to answer the original question, yes - I do see several people whose behavior doesn't match their profile in the least. The trait that seems most noticeable is their inability to carry on a normal chat conversation. Their own agenda tends to get in the way.