Are you really who you say you are?

I've always been male, born that way you know. I had an idea about a way gender imposters could be discovered maybe. When I joined Zity I had to provide an email address, would it not be as simple as having a moderator or web master do a search of duplicate email addresses or an instant messenger service? providing It has been listed publicly in a members profile of coarse. It would be a laborious task but seeing that there is strong feeling about this issue, would it be worth it? Or just a stupid idea?

It was just a thought.

Rowen

Male from Portugal Lisbon 53 years

realistic playdoctors, a couple of members and more one or 2 know me physically and personally

😉

Unless you're planning on meeting someone in person for further interaction of any kind - and knowing men I'd say there is only one real kind of possible interaction on their minds anyway - what does it really matter which is the true, physical sex of a member here? Why worry about it? I mean, all of us here are playing a part in a way. We like to come over as more sophisticated than we really are in the real world, we like to be funnier or seem more likeable and outgoing than in real life, joke or construct our sentences with more care than we would when speaking ... all of this, if you think about it, is also a sort of false representation.

But then, so what? We're just acting in a sort of on-line virtual theatrical anyway ... we're all voices, or rather just typed words, like disembodied entities. And part of the fun is assuming an aura or an assumed presentation of ourselves. It's play-acting.

So, if there is no presumption of ever meeting anyone in person, I don't see the particular importance of ferreting out anyone's true gender. There are enough government agencies to do that job for us, should it ever be necessary. If someone wants to pretend to be an opposite gender, male pretending to be a female, then so be it. If they're good at it, so much the better for their acting abilities. If not, then they'll be found out and the joke's back on them.

This reminds me of an instance some years ago in Great Britain, where someone was awarded a book prize for having written the best children's story about an immigrant Third World young girl adapting to life in the UK. It was purported to be autobiographical to a degree. It was lauded, given minor prizes and held up to be a wonderful example of writing and integration, till the actual author outed himself as an older, male adult of impeccable Anglo-Saxon heritage. Then of course the book was demolished and criticized as a lie and unworthy of publication.

So, what's more important? The story, the message, the communicating back and forth? Or worrying about gender?

. . . . I don't see the particular importance of ferreting out anyone's true gender. . . . . If someone wants to pretend to be an opposite gender, . . . .So, what's more important? The story, the message, the communicating back and forth? Or worrying about gender?

You actually mean SEX don't you. 😁

It's people chromosomes and genitals we care about when meeting. We probably don't want to meet Linda Lovelace if she says she identifies a man but is really a woman or Ron Jeremy if he says he identifies as a woman but is really a man.

If I really wasn't who I said I was, then you wouldn't be able to trust me saying I was who I said I was and not actual posing as someone else.

So, what's more important? The story, the message, the communicating back and forth? Or worrying about gender?

In my opinion....The truth! Without it anything else is of no value to me.

You actually mean SEX don't you. 😁

Well, I know we've had this discussion, but let's just say that I used the word like this;

'... Or worrying about sex?'

Wouldn't that be open to a different interpretation and understanding? Because when men 'worry about sex', they invariably mean about getting any, or not being able to have sex ... there is less scope for misinterpretation by using the word gender. And since English is a language with no controlling administrations, academies, learned bodies of educated linguists with power of legislation, or other kinds of control mechanisms (or none that anyone pays any attention to), once the (even minority) usage of a word starts to slip, slide and morph into something else, then that's just the way it is. Compilers of dictionaries then simply have to recognize the fact and add an extra entry to the definition of that particular word. This happens all the time in English. It's not as if English doesn't have oodles of words with multiple meanings.

Agracier, it's true. English is horrible in that there are so few rules. On the other hand unlike French or Spanish, we don't have nouns with associated gender is positively stupid. At least we have been spared that curse.

If I really wasn't who I said I was, then you wouldn't be able to trust me saying I was who I said I was and not actual posing as someone else.

Just to make it perfectly clear : if you're ever planning on meeting someone in real life, then naturally you're going to end up in some very uncomfortable situations if you misrepresent yourself. That is an elementary given.

Agracier, it's true. English is horrible in that there are so few rules. On the other hand unlike French or Spanish, we don't have nouns with associated gender is positively stupid. At least we have been spared that curse.

You're telling me ... and adjectives associated with those nouns have to accord with the gender of the word as well, so they often have to be 'conjugated' as well. It's enough to drive one up the wall. After decades of using, writing, speaking and studying in Dutch, I still have virtually no clue about the gender of most nouns. My wife still corrects me like I am some kind of educationally challenged individual in that respect. But I get to correct her English pronunciation, so we're even linguistically at least ... ha ha

I know we're straying more than just a little off the subject here, but just a little snippet from Wikipedia on use of the word "gender". I quote the paragraph verbatim:

"In many other contexts, however, even in some areas of social sciences, the meaning of gender has undergone a usage shift to include sex or even to replace the latter word.[1][2] Although this gradual change in the meaning of gender can be traced to the 1980s, a small acceleration of the process in the scientific literature was observed when, in 1993, the Food and Drug Administration started to use gender instead of sex.[7] Gender is now commonly used even to refer to the physiology of non-human animals, without any implication of social gender roles."

So there we go. The bastardization of the language when changing "original" meanings of words is actually nothing sinister, just the dynamics and evolution of any living, spoken and written language. As we get older it obviously gets more confusing. Just as well we get to expire at some point - just think of the confusion if we were to survive a few hundred years! 😉

^^^^ You realize that the usage of words in language changes when the less educated people [I'm struggling NOT to say bottom of the barrel people---OOOOPS I went and said it!] start to use a word in a particular, usually incorrect manner.

^^^^ You realize that the usage of words in language changes when the less educated people [I'm struggling NOT to say bottom of the barrel people---OOOOPS I went and said it!] start to use a word in a particular, usually incorrect manner.

Hmm. 😃 I would guess, however, that the FDA ( in their role as a word meaning-changer in my post below) won't necessarily regard themselves as being less educated or bottom of the barrel... 😃 😃

If the language didn't change, we would all be speaking like Chaucer, but that still doesn't mean that it is ISN'T the bottom of the barrel that causes the language to change. The power of ignorance and stupidity ultimately, unfortunately wins because of their greater numbers.

The second law of thermodynamics holds true for language.

If the language didn't change, we would all be speaking like Chaucer, but that still doesn't mean that it is ISN'T the bottom of the barrel that causes the language to change. The power of ignorance and stupidity ultimately, unfortunately wins because of their greater numbers.

I think you're forgetting about the influence that contact with other cultures and their languages can exert, be it via trade, war, invasion, a general cultural supremacy or any combination of these and no doubt other factors.

English and Dutch are good examples how through extensive trading contacts, words come to be borrowed and adapted into another language. There's no scraping of the barrel in this, just a realization that certain words and concepts can be better expressed or sound nicer or more important or more pompous or more preciser than in your own.

Arabic and the various forms of Spanish also show how influence can be unwittingly exerted. There is always a tendency for the elite of a subjugated people to try and emulate the language of their overlords. Need I therefore point out anything about '1066 and All That', which helped introduce about 20-25% of (Norman) French words into the language that would ultimately become English? That was about local elites looking up to and trying to imitate the manners and language of their rulers ... in other terms you could say they were really sucking it up, on purpose.

Just wait a few decades and our descendants will undoubtedly have introduced many new words and concepts into English originating from Mandarin ... and that won't happen from the bottom of the barrel either, but from those people who understand both languages, even if only to a degree. That means people in business and trade, scientists and bankers ...

The poor, uneducated, the bottom of the barrel, probably tend to stick with what they learned growing up and will generally avoid change if at all possible. Think of Appalachia and how many archaic terms and words are/were still in use there, at least until recently. And often these very same archaic and old-fashioned words now get reintroduced into common usage because they are so colorful or fulfill a particular need for a specific nuance of meaning or just for the fun of it, because they sound so cute and attract one's attention.

Introducing words from other languages can be acceptable, especially if they don't translate well or have extra oomph in expressing something, like schadenfreude or chutzpah or schmuck.

It's the changing of perfectly good words to have meanings they weren't supposed to have that is the problem.

It doesn't seem like a problem to me when the commoners as you say "suck up to the upper classes" by speaking and expressing themselves better. Isn't that what you really want? Shouldn't the culture strive to improve its communication and to speak and write better?

Introducing words from other languages can be acceptable, especially if they don't translate well or have extra oomph in expressing something, like schadenfreude or chutzpah or schmuck.

It's the changing of perfectly good words to have meanings they weren't supposed to have that is the problem.

I don't think that words get consciously introduced into a language ... they sneak in unexpectedly, through a sort of cultural osmosis, when you're least expecting it, poof, they turn up. So it's not a question of it being acceptable, it just happens, sort of like evolution and natural selection. Think of new words or words changing meanings as a form of natural mutation. When something more adaptable and appropriate pops up, then it will more likely succeed in being used by more and more people.

That's also why words are not supposed to have any specific meaning. They have particular meanings by unspoken consensus, because a large enough group of people decide, consciously, but usually unconsciously, for a wide variety of reasons, from whimsically silly to shrewdly intelligently, to give words a particular meaning. It just happens. And finding out why and how this happens, is what keeps linguists and language academics in a job, it's so complex and seemingly logic defying.

Here's a colorful example of how meanings are attributed, change and partially change back again. You've heard of the phrase 'trip(ping) the light fantastic' ... it came into vogue (again) back in the '20's, part of Prohibition-Era slang, with the meaning 'to dance'. Billy Murray used it hilariously in a hit song of his and Aileen Stanley 's 'I'm Gonna Dance with the Guy Wot Brung Me ...' Anyway, it comes from 15-16th century English when dancing was often described as 'tripping the light fantastik toe' - making very fast and coordinated movements with the feet while standing more or less still, as was often the custom then. Tripping then meant nothing much more than dancing the hit crazes of the times. But somehow 'tripping' later evolved into meaning falling over your feet (no doubt because many dancers then did stumble over themselves). And then somehow the phrase, seemingly no longer in use, makes a reappearance a few centuries later and catches on just because it sounds so appropriate.

So what to make of this? Who's to decide what 'trip' should mean? Or what 'dance' should mean for that matter? Meanings and definitions are often just a temporary consensus and when a different or better use for them is found, another consensus will evolve.

Now, I know we're straying a bit here, but this is very intriguing, how people view language. Where I live in Belgium, language has become something of a political fetish at times, and not the fun kind of fetish either. That's why I love English and the way it just does its thing, and goes merrily on its ever evolving way without any 'by your leave' from anyone or any authority whatsoever ...

I am, and always will be a male. I like to wear some nice lingerie, but will newer change the fact that I am what I am. I don't see the point in pretending to be a woman here on Zity. The people I have met here have all different kinds of kinks and I respect them regardless of their kinks and sexual preferences. But I would really be pleased to know if the person I am chatting with is male or female. He or she may dress/crossdress and act as the opposite sex, but I really would like to know whether it is a she or a he.

I made the silly mistake of setting up my account on my phone, and ticked the tiny 'male' gender box accidentally

It wasn't for a few weeks until one kind member messaged me for clarification

Lol

Fixed now and definitely female

( and a nice one too - really )

😃

Gender misrepresentation is an issue which the Webmaster and the Moderation Team are always trying to sort out. We do have rules in place and, indeed, many offenders have been warned or banned. The ultimate aim of this organization is keep this site as safe,open and honest as possible. When transgender or cross dressing members identify themselves as such, they are most welcome to be part of this community.

We are all in this together.

E-male is absolutely right.

Transsexual members should identify themselves as such if they have any intention of meeting other members so expectations are met and feelings aren't hurt by misrepresentation.

I agree with the moderators. There is no place for people misrepresenting themselves on this website. We're exchanging what we hope will be useful information here. Some threads delve into very specific male/female issues and anything contributed in these instances by members who aren't who they say they are, will be rubbish. Degrading everything it's supposed to uphold.

If any member is found to be misrepresenting him/herself, ban them from this site. We're better off without that kind.

I'm sure glad I didn't ask for the interpretation of the Book of John...lol. My point was actually quite simple..Are you who you say you are? Not who you think you are....Not who you want to be....Not who you want others to think you are.....Are you who yo u say you are. Quite simple for most educated people.

In my ongoing 6 years in this great site I too have wondered and speculated that some of these Impersonators have duked some of us in believing they are women. And it wasn't that they just surrendered, but their wording and little sayings led me to believe he was a man.

A few years ago on the chat line I began chatting whom I thought was a female. But, I began sensing it really was a man. He slipped saying his dom liked restraining him, then in the heat of the subject he says. Man,there's nothing better then having someone fingering you and the sensation in your scrotum?? Needless, to say he immediately signed off and never again have I seen or heard from him. Unless, he is using another name.

I am a man and admit it freely. I do think people often are not who they say but I don't care why and don't see why I should care about bothering them about it

I am a man and admit it freely. I do think people often are not who they say but I don't care why and don't see why I should care about bothering them about it

So you have no issue with interacting with someone you believe to be female but is in fact male or vice versa?

I come on here and post and read other posts and seldom talk much in chat or exchange messages.If I did I can than understand where this would be an issue of more importance. This is a good place to exchange information and the mods do a great job with rules and even the community itself is kinda self policing in a manner that generally makes most people like to stick around and many membors have been here forever. I would have issue with lieing if it was a situation I was being misled into something but just to read a post from a guy who uses a girls name I have much less problem with than having the "Kill all men" mass hysteria like on that enema message board (If it still exists,now THAT was a place most people were never ever friendly).

There is incentive to be yourself a bit more if you want to stick around and this isn't some spam fest and there are some just like anywhere in life but not a majority of lousy people here so I don't think the problem is that big of a problem and when I made my 1st post I just thought of the blown out of proportion stupidity ive seen this topic attract elsewhere.

james, rockdoc, isnt this site about 2 words, make believe.

There are those who wish to actually meet up in person to play make believe.

I don't want to waste my time and effort with someone who chooses to lie in order to get his/her rocks off at my expense!

Male, as advertised, both physically and socially. Love to be a dominated female in fantasy play, but only with female doms. Does that make me a suppressed lesbian trapped in a man's body? LOL!

Well for what it's worth, and I'm just sayin here. Over the years here as well as a few times at the start when I joined UKGyn back in the day I too was accused of being a man. That rumor was quickly debunked on UKGyn though because I had lots of pictures posted of me and all my nakedness, no penis included, why you ask, well because I am all woman.

Here however I have not been able to post my pictures for a few reasons which I will not get into here. However being a real woman it was somewhat hurtful that many over the years have questioned whether or not I am actually a woman. I understand that often I talk somewhat harshly, crass rather, but I did grow up with two older brothers. I will be the first to admit that I am not the most feminine of women.

Years later and now with 6 years of board experience under my belt, 5 of which I have been a moderator of, I have learned that men actually do pose as women here as well as other places frequently. I still can't fathom this behavior at all because it would be my assumption that people on here would eventually want to meet up with someone of their gender choice who also shares their common kink? I have also learned however that some don't ever want to meet up but would rather just talk or converse. Still though, I can't fathom anyone trying to come off as their opposite gender/sex, what have you.

So the points of my post are as follows, if you know of anyone who is lying about how they are representing themselves on our board, please report it to a mod. We do try our best to make this a fun and safe place for all of us and the next generation of kinksters to come up the pike. We need your help in doing so.

While sometimes things are not always what they seem, sometimes they are in fact exactly what you are seeing. Everyone still needs to be cautious, careful, and keep an eye out for each other though. I for example apparently have often come across on numerous occasions as a man posing as a woman. Reality is, I am all woman, 100 percent all natural woman. Good or bad, it is what it is, and I am who I am, Nurse Mashie, vagina between the legs, a 10cc control top syringe in the left hand, an enema bag in the right hand and reporting for duty!

Mashie