Should you risk your relationship for your enemas?

I believe that the answer to this question is one for each of us to answer. Fetishes that we have are ours, it is not fair or right to blame a spouse because they do not share our fetishes. We chose them for many different reasons. We knew we had fetishes and yet chose another.

I think I am making progress with my husband - it has taken me awhile to figure out some things, and it is in how you approach your partner, and a lot of timing. I am a lot more comfortable with myself - and maybe a little wiser after figuring out just what it is I want.

Dear Mashie, your post is right on target. Would that others, such as myself, could emulate you in some fashion. Every relationship is different, and all have been joined for reasons that mostly have not included our special fetish. So here we are, counting our blessings and pursuing our fetish. My best to you.

Wolf

I had the discussion with an ex boyfriend once, because my desire for someone to administer a strict enema was really strong, and he was not interested (he was kind of a prude). But because my preference would be for a stern woman to spank me and give me an enema, he told me that if I could find someone sage to play with, he would be ok with it. Sadly that hasn't happened yet, but it was nice to know it was an option.

@Redbulb99. For me there was another option; rejection and prohibition. My wife has known about my desires for years, and I tried to introduce enema and anal play into our bedroom lives. She is adamantly not interested in addition prohibits my solo activity. She sees solo erotic play as a form of infidelity. Plain vanilla sex is it for her; boy on top girl on bottom, mouth only on lips; and rare at that. Needless to say, i've come to this site for some understanding, acceptance and community.

I'm not going to defend what I have done - don't need to, but I'm not going to BS anyone, especially me, what I've been doing is cheating on my husband. That's the bottom line - to say anything else would be just to sugar coat shit, but I have risked my marriage for enemas, and what came after them. If my husband ever suspected - or found me out, I would drop it right there, and hope for the best. But I've learned way too much to go back to 'vanilla' - and it is up to me to get my husband on board with what I've come to love about these new things I've tried.

I have to admit - that being a woman, it will be a helluva lot easier to get my husband to at least try some of the things I want to do, someone said that there are more men perverts than women, and the way guys are here, I think I stand a better chance at getting my husband to come across. The only real thing I can say in my defense is - until I admitted I liked enemas, and took a chance, I didn't know there was this kinky old woman hanging around in this wrinkled birthday suit. Getting up the courage to eventually make it here to Zity.Biz - and reading about all the other people who are into this, especially how the men react, think, hope, has opened my eyes. It will be up to me to be honest with my husband - not about cheating on him, but about how I am getting into enemas, anal, and maybe D/s and BDSM. The last two - D/s and BDSM, looks like it they need two people who are a couple who are aware of each other's kinks and support them, and not just for a few hours here and there days or weeks or months apart. That tells me it has to be - my husband. And it tells me - that I am going to have to walk him down that path and fess up that it's ok to just fuck me, and not think I'm not approachable for some down and dirty fucking and a little hair pulling. We both are in our 60's - and he has some old fashioned ideas about how to treat a lady, that bit of chivalry just doesn't fit in with what I want anymore.

The big thing is - I have to knock of the subtle shit, he's a guy and as long as I have lived with him, I have to actually spell things out for him. It drives him nuts when he asks me something - and I tell him he should know already and be able to remember what turned me on or what turns me on, it's easy for me to know what does it for him because it 'sticks out'. Health reasons have come into the picture - and I want to make the most of it with my husband, the way to do that is what I am going to have to do, put my big girl panties on and make it so I get what I want at home.

What we all want here is our cake and eat it too . Life doesn't work that way all the time and adjustments must be made . My wife will take an enema sometimes but she would rather give them to me and that works . She has also said that it would be ok for me to have another person give to me if she could watch , that hasn't happened yet . The point for me here is she knows ALL about my enema fun and is ok with it . My fetish is up front with her . I am one of the lucky ones and love it because she knows enemas turns me on . [ All I want from another person , is an enema and a hair cut !! ] LOL

Lora, that was an excellent post!

Lora, I agree with Susie on her comment, your post was most excellent indeed. What a fantastic breath of fresh air.

Mashie

Lora, you are a class act.

Lora--be sure to let us know how things worked out.

hankb

Lora, you must be a very sensual woman, lucky men who have had the pleasure with you. 🌹

If I was faced with double ballon in the hands s(one) i' like to fuck.

, i would think seriosly about it

btw i need self cath bid or morr, extra play???

Ah, gee. So much here. Where to start?

I enjoy enemas and have since I started self admin/exploration very young.

My first wife needed them frequently and I was always thrilled when she asked for them.

That marriage ended for other reasons.

Back on the dating scene, most women we're not interested but a few were and I enjoyed the sex and enemas with them.

Then I met the woman who would be my next wife. I was honest about my enema desires and pleasures derived from them.

She went along and let me administer whenever I mentioned them.

Then the next big reveal: I enjoyed social nudity. She went along and we enjoyed regular visits to a nearby resort and even traveled to a couple of others.

The sex we had during this time was mind blowing for both of us in its frequency and intensity.

Along came marriage with everything in the open and on the table, or so I thought.

Bait and switch big time. I felt so betrayed.

So I ventured into colonics where I could enjoy my kink and enjoy the company of a nice hydro therapist who didn't think I was crazy.

Then, as it turned out, some lady friends had an interest to learn about or thought they needed an enema. So I assisted the best I could. Never felt a twinge of guilt.

Then Zity came along and I've enjoyed great conversations with other members and have future opportunities to engage in enemas and even met-fet.

Do I feel guilty? Not really but I wish I had a different kind of marriage -- the one I thought I had in the beginning.

Dear Royal ... you are not alone in the "Bait and Switch" I wrote of it 2 years ago in this thread.

http://www.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;msg=525407

Life is short ... live it.

FunnStrict, I love your last line. It's short, to the point, and exactly correct. I would only add one more thing to that.

Life is short...live it...no regrets.

Mashie

Life is short...live it...no regrets.

I agree 100% with you Mashie, sometimes, you just gotta go for it. 😉

Thank you mike45. It's the motto I live by these days.

Mashie

I could have written many of the posts on this subject. For me, the only way to be truly free is to be by myself. I've been married three times. That means I have started all over again three times. My last divorce came at the age of 45. It was difficult to start over again at that age. I'm not willing to give up most of my property again and I'm not willing to be in a unhappy relationship. I told all three wives about my enema love BEFORE we got married. All of them told me that they were OK with it. The two of them participated with me doing enemas PRIOR to being married. It stopped Immediately after marriage. With the second wife that happened the VERY NEXT DAY. All three of them bitched about it during the marriage.

I have become used to spending quite a bit of time by myself. Sometimes I wonder why I don't get lonely, then I realize it's because there is very little conflict in my life. I have become best friends with myself.

Would I like to have a SO who is also interested in enemas? Of course I would. It isn't likely to happen in this life.

The saying I read in one of the posts is true.

A woman marries a man hoping he will change. A man marries a woman hoping she won't.

I could never tell my partner. I only can do enema talk with others like the great people here in the room.

Last December I posted on this thread that I am in a long term marriage and had approached my wife twice about sharing in my kinks, both times with a negative response. At this point I have decided that I am willing to cheat to have these lifelong desires of mine fulfilled. I'm not mincing words...I'm cheating. I have always been an extremely loyal husband and am not doing this lightly but I'm not getting any younger. And I did man-up and raise the issue with her. I have wanted to give enemas and spankings for at least 60 years and except for a couple of abortive attempts, have never been able to get what I've dreamed and fantasized about. I do not want to lay dying somewhere with my last thought being "I sure wish I'd taken that opportunity to play with that kinky lady on Zity." Don't mean to be melodramatic but...I'm just saying....

So it turns out I met my perfect match here on Zity...Curious1313. She wants to receive what I've always wanted to give and so we've met a couple of times and the experience for both of us has been explosive (in a good way). We plan to meet more. My wife doesn't know and I hope she doesn't learn of it. This is a 30 year plus marriage and at age 69 I'm not eager to start over with all the things that a breakup would entail. But I'm taking the risk. Just my personal decision. While the risk is not trivial...not by any means...the reward thus far has been breathtakingly fabulous. I will not be shuffling off this mortal coil without having experienced some of the things I have always deeply longed for. In keeping with this political season I will be fully forthcoming by noting that this message has been approved by Curious.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Thank you Susie. Not an easy decision to come to but......here I am

Rayme: Way to fly. I wish you the best of luck and the greatest of satisfaction. Having performed on the same stage, my advice is to relax, be cool and take your time. It will work.

I don't think any of us want to get to the end of our life with a bunch of what if's. Rayme, I'm glad that you have the courage to embrace this and you have found this happiness. Congrats!

As others have mention it depends on your partner, and how open they are and for sure it comes with talking and finding out about the person, how they feel about sex play etc, now im sure we all agree we shouldnt force it on anyone

And I did man-up and raise the issue with her. I have wanted to give enemas and spankings for at least 60 years and except for a couple of abortive attempts, have never been able to get what I've dreamed and fantasized about.

But I'm taking the risk. Just my personal decision. While the risk is not trivial...not by any means...the reward thus far has been breathtakingly fabulous. I will not be shuffling off this mortal coil without having experienced some of the things I have always deeply longed for. In keeping with this political season I will be fully forthcoming by noting that this message has been approved by Curious.

@rayme - I'm in the same boat, except that some of my dreams are just now coming true. I think - feel, that a lot of my progress where my husband is concerned, stems from having a partner that feels the same way about things like I do. That translated - into my feeling good about myself, confident, sexy, wanted, and knowing I was making Him feel that way too. I kind of compare the way I feel - to me going out to dinner, with no panties, my anal jewel in me, and only me and my husband knowing. I feel beautiful - and very sexy when I do this, and my friends would notice something different, ask me if I changed something with my hair, new shoes, or something, they just noticed, and it was the way I felt about myself.

I got up the confidence in myself - then the courage, and approached my husband with what I had been learning, experiencing, and approached him differently, I know what I want, and I now know how to ask him for it. Don't get me wrong - rayme, I'm cheating on my husband, but now he and I are creating our own style, approach, and ways to make the most out of the time we have left together, and to put aside any reservations and just come out and ask each other for it. I honestly don't know - if I would have had the 'maturity' before I started cheating, to make my kink needs make any sense to my husband. Now I do - and now he knows he can ask me anything, do anything, try anything, and that I will.

I didn't have anything close to the - sexual 'maturity' needed to even half way voice to my husband what it was I wanted from him or with him. There are people here - some are moderators, who seem to have always known what it was that they wanted and were willing to just haul off and get it. It wasn't until I cheated with Him 🌹 - and came here and read about what He was feeling and how I made Him feel that I started to 'mature' and have some confidence in myself. What really helped - rayme, was when I started writing about my own feelings right along with His posts here. The feedback - the comments, of others who were more 'sexually mature' than I was also helped to make it possible to finally help me get my 'kink on' with my husband. My husband - I am in love with him, he's bow legged, short, but I'm nuts about him. 😃 And now I have my - head and ass wired together, in spite of being blonde, and I found out how to get him to understand and buy into what I have become.

Just a suggestion - rayme, maybe you and Curious1313 can write about how your encounters play out with each other. In a way - it is like a diary that you two could look back on and learn from, and help each other find your own kink. Sure rayme - some will people may call what you write a soap opera, or criticize you, or, like with me, wonder why I was wringing my hands so damn much about taking Him vaginally. But it was part of my - processing what and who I was becoming, and like you, I admit to myself that I am cheating on my husband. If someone doesn't like that - fuck them and the horse they rode in on!

You said it best rayme - you don't want to die wishing you had tried something your heart desired. I hope you and Curious1313 - share your journey with the rest of us, I would really really like to hear how the two of you make your journey. Best of luck - to BOTH of you, it's worth the trip. 🌹

Lora

Yes, rayme, I'm sure there are a lot more of us out there but haven't got the guts to be so open about it. I thought that I was the only Klismo out there for over 60 years and now that I'm out of the 'closet', I feel much better. (less anxiety). Good on you mate. Regards, irrigator333

@rayme .... it has been said that growth only comes when you get outside your comfort zone. It is fantastic that you found the courage to do so.

Just one "hint" from a person who has 25+ years of compartmentalized living. Don't change any of your habits at home with your wife. If you ask for enemas, keep asking. If you ask for sex, keep asking. Keep the frequency of everything the same. Don't buy flowers unless that is something you routinely do. The key is to keep up the same routines you have had for years.

I don't know how tech savvy your wife is but careful how you communicate with Curious1313. There are apps for a second number for your mobile phone. Google "second number app" for a multitude of choices.

The very best of luck and good times to you both...

I opened up with a great girl friend some 40 years ago. I know that I was deeply in love with her and she did give me several enemas. In fact, I even gave her one... But, as time passed I think it was this kink that made her leave. Not everyone understands the need many of us have. I just thank God that he gave me the time with her that He did. As for me, well, I have a great wife who knows of my love for enemas. She does not understand it, but she does give me my enemas. She will not encourage me to take my water, nor will she rub my back or my belly. But, she does slip the pipes in and open the shut-offs.