Should you risk your relationship for your enemas?

The truth may set you free........but FIRST it might piss-you-off.

A relationship is most complete for me when we have a connection emational, physical, and other interests, Being supportive is an important part also. I can imagine that there is some one out there that would match in every way, I am ot sure that it is worth loosing what I have for. We have so many things that we appreciate about each other. No it is not worth loosing this wonderful lady for a fantasy.

My first wife knew of my enema kink but thought it was nasty. When we got divorced (for other reasons than enemas), I made sure that my next choice knew about my kink early. She is now my wife and we both enjoy them. The only problem we have is with her volume. She easily reaches orgasm while taking a bag and once she does, she is done with taking the enema.

^^^^ Most men would be thrilled to have that problem.

Try giving her enema s-l-o-w-l-y

Yes Susie is exactly right. I have the same problem and in order for this not to happen to me Doc has to administer my enema slowly. And by slow I mean it takes me between 30-45 minutes to empty a 2 quart bag. Hope this helps.

Mashie

Everybody needs to consider their own situation, considering the partner’s acceptance of new or different things. I see three possible scenarios:

Acceptance and Participation – This is the best scenario. She/he likes whatever an enema does for you and agrees to administer or even receive as partners. However, considering that those of us who use enemas for recreation are a small minority, the odds of this are slim.

Acceptance with Indifference – This is a compromise. She/he accepts that you derive pleasure from enemas but does not understand why. She/he will give you an enema at times but usually will not allow you to give one to her/him. You are also allowed to do it yourself as long as she/he does not need to be part of it.

Rejection – This is bad. She/he thinks you are weird, or worse, perverted. In the worst case scenario, it can end the relationship if it is not strong, or if there are already other issues.

For me, I ended up firmly in the middle: Acceptance with Indifference

I started giving myself enemas when I was 10 or 11. All through my teenage years I would give myself an enema whenever mom and dad left me home alone. As a young adult I fantasized getting an enema from a girl, but I could not even think to bring it up to anyone. This was way before the internet.

When I got married I looked for an enema or douche bag in my new wife’s things. None there. After a few subtle questions I concluded my wife had never had an enema. I had a bulb and a bag hidden in my shop that I used to give myself enemas when my wife was out shopping, but I wanted more. After Penthouse ran the series of “Special Preference” letters I decided to see if I could get her interested in enemas as sex play. As part of my plan I bought a new enema syringe and put it under the sink in the bathroom where she was likely to see it. A few days later she asked why I had bought that “douche bag”. I told her I had read in a magazine how some couples find enemas exciting and I wanted to try it. I showed her a couple of those Penthouse letters about couples doing enemas together. She read quietly and said something like, “that’s gross!”

Some weeks later we had been at a party and when we got home there was a little midnight action taking place. I had slipped a finger into her butt without any resistance so I thought, “Let’s go for it!” I whispered in her ear that I wanted to give her an enema. She said she didn’t understand this fascination I have with enemas. After a bit of sweet-talk and begging, she agreed to try it but I had to take one first so she could see how it works. I lay on the bed with knees drawn up and there was no missing my raging hard-on. I took about half the bag, saving the other half for her. While holding the water in me we switched places. I only gave her a little before she said she was full and had to go to the toilet. She came back from the bathroom, refused to take any more, and we had fairly routine sex. A slow start.

Over the next few weeks I would occasionally bring out the bag hoping she would warm up to the process. She rarely took more than a few ounces, claiming she was full. I tried to convince her that one to two quarts was considered a normal enema for an adult and she should try to take a bit more before she could say she didn’t like it. She reluctantly agreed so I started her enema and almost immediately she said she was full. I shut it off but while sweet-talking her, sucking her nipples, and rubbing her clit to take her mind off of her tummy, I managed to get at least a quart into her. Then she said she HAD to go and took off for the bathroom.

After that it became, “I will give you an enema if you get it ready, but don’t ask me to take any.” She said she could not get past worrying about having an accident, and then the long time it sometimes took to get all of the enema out. Eventually I stopped asking her to participate. So now after many years the situation is back to what it was in the beginning. I give myself enemas when I have the opportunity, such as when she goes shopping, or I am otherwise home alone. She knows I do this and doesn’t make an issue of it.

This is a excellent topic and relevant to all us who have an enema fetish.

I told my wife early on about my anal eroticism and that was absorbed without too much or any objection. We began to include some anal play on me early in our marriage. Then a few years went by and I felt that I had to have "the conversation." My heart was beating out my chest and mentioned that I found enemas erotic too in addition to my anal toys. It was met with more of a confused reaction not one of being grossed out.

To make a long story short, years go by and I just kept my enema play solo to times when she was not around. Then we were playing with some anal beads on me and when she pulled them out some poop was on the end of the beads. That pretty much put an end to that play session and I mentioned that I need to do enemas before we play and I got a surprised reaction almost if it was a new topic. I told her that "you know I like to do enemas" and she kind of had forgotten all about it. So after many years I reintroduced the subject and now she is very aware I like to do them and if we are planning on any anal play for me, I will do them a few hours before hand.

I still tend to do my sessions when she is not home but do tell her when she gets back that I did a session and she is OK with that- I don't want my fetish to slip back into the background again as it did before. She is not into enemas and really does not want to participate. So we seemed to have reached a new point of being open about my fetish but just not participating together with enemas.

Overall, if someone is in a relationship and this became a reason to end the relationship, then I would say those two people probably were not a good match to begin with and they are better off splitting up.

Hi Susie,

post above, I could tell you a story!! Not Enemas but sexually involved. Back in '71 I was living at the "Beach" it was summer and we didn't need "Central Air" the windows were open and when my housemate and his girlfriend would make love, she would holler, scream and trash about!! I'm, sorry I didn't set up my old tape recorder because she was quit "Vocal" in her enjoyment!! If ony they did a few enemas......OMG!!

with a "Click!!,"

(of the tape recorder!!)

highwater

Absolutely not. I would never piss away a 21-year marriage and the possible relationship with 3 wonderful children over a sexual turn-on. Can you imagine that conversation with your children 10 years from now? "Well, I loved your mom, but she just couldn't deal with my love of enemas and medical fetishism. So she had to go...."

At the end of the day, I understand this is just a carnal desire. It's no different than your partner not sharing a fantasy about having sex on a beach or not wanting to join the "mile high club." I wouldn't leave my wife over anything like that, either.

I don't know how you you could not consider what wino69 recently said and others have mentioned earlier:

Absolutely not. I would never piss away a 21-year marriage and the possible relationship with 3 wonderful children over a sexual turn-on. Can you imagine that conversation with your children 10 years from now? "Well, I loved your mom, but she just couldn't deal with my love of enemas and medical fetishism. So she had to go...."

At the end of the day, I understand this is just a carnal desire. It's no different than your partner not sharing a fantasy about having sex on a beach or not wanting to join the "mile high club." I wouldn't leave my wife over anything like that, either.

As I said in an earlier post, to risk your relationship for a fetish, you must be prepared to give up all you have for something you want.

To those ready to pursue this, keep in mind the very vast majority of people here never find the relationship they are looking for--especially the men. Perverted women, being much fewer in number than perverted men (just look at the proportion of men to women here), find it easier than men to find perverted partners.

I'm with Susie and wino69. While we would prefer our spouse to like ALL of the same things we do, including enemas or other fetishes, it is not so important as to risk a good marriage or relationship by pushing the issue. There are much more important things in life.

We should never require our SO to do something they really don't want to do. However, as females we have quite a bit of bargaining power.

He wants a blow job then a good fuck, and you want an enema then a good fuck. Surely there is a compromise there where you both get what you want.

NmaGirl7 wish you were my wife with that logic and desire.

But as it is, I am not ready to give it all up for an enema, which probably wouldn't be very good anyway, because she would not be into it

I agree with a lot here. I had a SO way back when that was into all kinds of kinks and she even gave me a few enemas and I gave her a few. But the other aspects of our relationship were not sound so we parted ways. Now my SO is great and has no interest in any kink in the bedroom beyond wearing naughty lingerie. And I am fine with that, but It is worth it to me to let our relationship grow for now and see what happens in the bedroom. But if she is completely against any kinks or enemas for that matter, I won't get ride of her. But she does deserve to know as anyone does.

NO!! R relationship is based on so many other IMPORTANT things than fetish desires. IF MY so TOLD ME SHE had TO have dogs nibbling on her ankles to get off, I'd say, "go for it, whatever turns you on. Just don't expect me to do the same thing." The biggest reason for breakups are money, kids from previous marriages, infidelity, etc. NOT KINKY DESIRES. If she told me that she couldn't stand for me to engage in my E play, alone behind closed doors. then SHE has a problem that needs to be addressed.

. . . my SO is great and has no interest in any kink in the bedroom beyond wearing naughty lingerie. And I am fine with that, . . .

I thought ALL lingerie was naughty, and that was its intent. 😁

As an article of clothing, it isn't very practical.

It won't keep you warm, you can see through it which means it doesn't cover you if modesty is required and the finer materials require special care in cleaning. Really, its only purpose is to be naughty and to excite your partner.

I guess maybe I am a bit different and think differently than most people. For some of us having a medical kink or an enema fetish isn't just a kink or a fetish. I know and I can probably speak for Doc on this topic as well, it's more than a kink or a fetish, it is part of who we are. Can we live without it? Yes. Are we satisfied and or happy without it NO. And before anyone wants to go there, yes we can both orgasm without either or.

We are both married to others, over 60 years between the both of us combined. Do we love our spouses, yes we do. Are we IN love with them, NO we are not. We are in love with each other and each other only. My spouse knows exactly what I do and how I feel about Doc. We stay because we do love each other like friends and to be honest, same as with Doc, we are too old to dump everything. It's just easier to live a double life so to speak.

As far as you people looking for a relationship, find someone with your kink and who makes you happy. A good marriage has a healthy sex life, fun and exciting. Neither of our marriages have that, which is why Doc and I have each other. Do not make a mistake and just settle, you will regret it for the rest of your life. Trust me on this.

Mashie

I feel if the person really likes you for you she/he would cope with your fetish

Mashie I agree with you 100%, life is short, don't settle. I told my story in this chain back in June 2013[#49]. My life is compartmentalized, in my case, respective spouses are unaware. Long live duality.

Mashie--You and Doc have very unusual and tolerant spouses. Most would not stand for such activities.

hankb

I've been with my current wife for 31 years. I respect her highly both professionally as an RN NP and as a person of integrity. But she shares none of my kinks. 30 some years ago when we were first getting to know one another I told her after a somewhat alcohol laden meal that I would love to give her an enema. No response. If I hadn't been drunk I would have been mortified. I haven't had a drink for 29 years.

Recently I told her again I would love to give her an enema and asked if she recalled that earlier conversation. Though she has a great memory for such things she was embarrassed to say she did not...that she would not have knowingly let that lay there. But she added, an enema was just going to have to remain my fantasy.

Glad I have Zity.

Agree with last. Enemas are no substitute for a great marriage. Hard to have everything

Mashie as usual you are right on the button vis a vis relationships. Without going on and on I will just offer my all time favorite mantra . . "This is not a dress rehearsal".

I guess maybe I am a bit different and think differently than most people. For some of us having a medical kink or an enema fetish isn't just a kink or a fetish. I know and I can probably speak for Doc on this topic as well, it's more than a kink or a fetish, it is part of who we are. Can we live without it? Yes. Are we satisfied and or happy without it NO. And before anyone wants to go there, yes we can both orgasm without either or.

We are both married to others, over 60 years between the both of us combined. Do we love our spouses, yes we do. Are we IN love with them, NO we are not. We are in love with each other and each other only. My spouse knows exactly what I do and how I feel about Doc. We stay because we do love each other like friends and to be honest, same as with Doc, we are too old to dump everything. It's just easier to live a double life so to speak.

As far as you people looking for a relationship, find someone with your kink and who makes you happy. A good marriage has a healthy sex life, fun and exciting. Neither of our marriages have that, which is why Doc and I have each other. Do not make a mistake and just settle, you will regret it for the rest of your life. Trust me on this.

Mashie

@Mashie ... you sound like another 'couple' that i have come to know ... ... ... i know she loves and adores her husband ... but he doesn't want anything to do with her kink ... at all ... they have built a life together and she would love to have him share her kink ... ... but ... ... she has a friend who she connected with and is a 'friend with benefits' ... the only thing is that her husband does not know about the depth of her 'kinks' ... he's missing out ... ... one of the things i have come to admire about her is that she ... like u ... hasn't settled ... but she isn't a fool and knows that what she has or found is part of her that she can share with her husband openly now ... but she won't let it go ... i hope she gets to where u r with your life ...

but from what u have written ... u may be a little further down the road than she is ... ... and maybe u realized what u wanted a little earlier ...? ... if you have written about that before ... i'd like to know ... i think she would like to know more ...

gibby

or should i have sent this as a message ...?

Gibby, We all know of whom you speak. It is a fair comparison.

Mashie, I think the most important point in your post is the advice...Don't settle. Keep searching, and when you least expect it, you will find what you are looking for.

. . . . Don't settle. Keep searching, and when you least expect it, you will find what you are looking for.

Maybe, maybe not.

It may not be such a good idea to dump an otherwise good marriage for your kinks.

As Redbag said, it's hard to have everything. Perfection in a relationship is extremely rare.

As good as our kinky sex like is, if my husband and I had a good vanilla sex life, there are so many other good things about him and our relationship, that I wouldn't consider leaving him for my kinks.

Maybe the question i should ask Mashie is this ... 'did your husband know about your kinks and fetishes before you found Doc ...? or did he know about your relationship with Doc before the kink and fetish aspect ...?' i've been looking back on some of your posts ... but i get side tracked ... but i will keep looking ...

@quincy ... i figured some would recognize her ... but i know it's something she has thought about a lot ... him too ...

This is certainly a topic which poses a significant dilemma for many of us. Some are risk takers and others are disinclined to take any chances. While a typical marriage or LTR is of great worth and deserving of a 110 percent commitment, a fondness for enemas is likely an issue that has plagued many of us for a lifetime.

That a fetish may have developed and blossomed into some sort of compulsive desire, it may well have formed long before we ever met someone that we decided to spend our lives with. While a typical sexual/romantic affair may not be desirable in many cases, the personal interaction regarding enemas may well fulfill some of us.

The sensual/sexual undertones notwithstanding, some of us die hard enema fans may be satisfied with personal interactions that are never intended to result in other typical relationships that might clearly cross the line into "cheating".

While the rationalization may never sit well with many, it seems that some sharing of these topics, procedures, and treatments, may be sufficient to satisfy those cravings. I've enjoyed some face to face interactions and sharing that is quite fulfilling in many ways.

Simply stated, I'm not out looking to get laid, I'm merely exploring opportunities to enjoy my favorite hobby and to share with others who have similar interests. EFEST in Vegas was always one of those opportunities which eventually dried up.

Sharing a favorite hobby with others isn't usually a negative thing. When it comes to enemas, I suppose everyone would raise an eyebrow. We do submit our bodies to a variety of treatments and procedures, even with other genders, in the name of health and fitness. A colonic doesn't seem to generate those negative reactions, whereby, an enema would likely trigger a volcanic eruption (in different ways I'm sure).

I harken back to those times long past, when enemas were far more common and the discussions fairly open. I daydream about submitting to the aspiring nurse, dominant matron, or other curious individual who could use some practice in honing their own skills, or getting me back on track with those daily duties expected of us as youngsters.

A masseuse who specializes in "Enemassage", would definitely get a cut of my recreational budget. I'd likely minimize my golf, fishing, and other mundane hobbies in order to pamper myself at the local, and not so legitimate?, day spa. If nurses still needed a guinea pig to learn those various skills, count me in. If someone just needs a mentor to figure out what all the hubbub is about, I suppose that my arm could be twisted.

Whether or not it's worth the risk......only time will tell!

It has been really hard for me to find an enema mate and a true mate -- they never seem to be the same person. And other than enemas and other kinks, we really did not share a whole lot of common interests. On the other side, lots of common interests - no enemas.

I would bring it up and it was sort of easy because most of my girlfriends at some point got interested in anal sex -- so it was a natural way to ease into it. Although I have given a few of them enemas as prep, none of them ever learned to like it or even want it ...

Some day!