Should you risk your relationship for your enemas?

It seems that most of us do not have a good enema relationship with our partner, so I wonder if enemalovers should be honest with whomever they are in relationships with about their interest in, and use of enemas as part of their sex life. I think honesty would destroy a significant percentage of the relationships. Even if the person you tell doesn't freak out and walk out, if they told you that they hated the idea and would never participate in enemas with you, but didn't mind if you enjoy them alone, ..........would you continue the relationship or begin to think about continuing the search for the perfect enema partner?

This is one of those questions that many have and probably still think about, some on a daily basis. It's a personal decision, but one not to be made lightly. Finding the "perfect" partner is hard enough, but to have that person also enjoy our fetish makes it a bit harder. I hope you get responses to help you see what others have thought and felt on this matter.

I keep thinking it has been somewhat discussed before, but was unable to find the thread(s) I was looking for by doing a search.

I told my wife about my interest in enemas shortly after we were married, 39 years ago. She isn't an enema person, but she doesn't mind me taking them. It has been a rare occasion when she has let me give her an enema or she had given me one, but we keep the subject open and I don't hide what I do from her.

This might not work for everyone but it has worked for me.

My wife lost most of her sex drive after chemo and I have used my enemas to help with my sexual needs and she understands and sometimes urges me to do so.

I like inflatable's response, hence the karma bump. I would much rather have someone be honest with me from the outset about their kinks. Keeping them secret only to be discovered years, or decades, down the road just leads to feelings of betrayal. My mate and I share several kinks but he enjoys one that I'm not overly interested in and don't know much about. I'm willing to explore it with him, as he has explored some of mine. If I were to find out about it later I would feel that he hadn't been able to trust me with that knowledge and intimacy. That would, I think, undermine the foundation of our relationship.

Inflatable, I congratulate you on your successful relationship with your wife. She has shown you that you are so important to her that your enema activities are O.K. and understandable. Lucky couple. My wife is pretty close to nonsexual in that she isn't interested in anything I can think of.......which is a lot. So, we have no sex life. I wish she had SOMETHING in her life to sexually excite her. No matter what it happened to be, I would be thrilled just to know that there was something she could enjoy in a sexual way even if it did not include me. You should give your wife a sweet hug and kiss and tell her that you love her.

Maybe more need to just get a bag, and use it, and say they just needed a good clean out. Let it go at that. You might add something to the effect of that not only do you feel better, but that it also felt 'kinda nice'.

Dan

I am recently divorced from a women that had no interest in the bag. You would think that I would go out of my way to meet a woman that has the same enema interest that I do. However, the basic traits as honesty, communication, trust, and a belief in God seem to be so much more important.

I did shared my enema fetish with my then "to be" wife, only because I knew it was important to me, and I didn't want any surprises (on either side) later. At the time, she said she was fine with it, and even did engage in enema play with me a few times after we married. I knew she wasn't interested in receiving, which was OK with me. I could be content either way. I enjoy receiving, but wasn't going to ask her to engage in behavior that she she didn't enjoy doing herself. It stayed this way for a while, but for whatever reason, she eventually decided that she wasn't going to pleasure me with enemas, even though I often hint that I would certainly enjoy one. No luck. Hence, I'm strictly solo now when she isn't at home. Our marriage is still fine, but I have to admit, this change in her has been frustrating.......particularly since I made a very special point of it BEFORE we married.

I think the most important trait in a successful relationship is to be honest and open to one another. My partner and I have an agreement to always talk to each other no matter what. I think all relationships goes through good times and bad times. Some deal with it by having an affair, some by getting another kid (not an option for us) some doesn't and probably brakes up (or one partner gets a depression or worse). We are always allowing to one another and espeassaly when it comes to exploring sexuality. Who knows he might like something I try and the other way around. We even allow one another to have sex whit others sometimes.

Actually he discovered my enema fetish during our early dating period going through some of my downloaded porn 😃 We hadn't even started calling us boyfriends yet.

Maybe we doesn't have the most normal relationship. But we love each other. And I'm quite certain we will be together for our whole lives.

It's hard for me to imagine that a relationship with someone I love/respect would have an issue with enema use or play. I just don't see it as kinky or even alternative. How is it any different than any other forms of sensual/sexual/erotic cleansing? Frankly, I'm not going to involve myself with someone I can't trust to be all I can be and that conversation is going to happen at or around the first cup of coffee!

It took we 16 years to divulge my passion for enemas to my wife. She has no inerest in ANYTHING ouotside the norm. Enemas turned out to be no exception. There has been no further discussion about oit since.

I enjoyed enemas long before I married my second wife. She knew I enjoyed them, she just doesn't participate in them with me. I give myself enemas all the time. She let me give her one early on, since then, never. It would be great if she would give me enemas, but that ain't going to happen. I wish she would enjoy them, but she won't even entertain any idea of that. So if you have a partner who will participate, great. Risk the relationship, well if the person gets all upset because you like something that much, then who knows. It all comes down to the fact of, you never ask the question you don't want to hear the answer to.

Early on in our marriage, my wife pleasured me a few times with a nice enema, but that was years ago, and she has since lost total interest in them, even though she knows I still would love for her to give me one. Even occasional hints don't help, so I'm strictly solo when I have the opportunity. Yes, its frustrating, because I raised the subject with her BEFORE we married, and she said she was fine with them. Obviously not.

I woudn't risk a relationship over it. I haven't brought it up yet but I haven't been with this girl long enough to let her know that aspect of my life. We have been getting more into anal play lately so the time may be coming soon though.

I think the amount of shame we tend to bare over having this particular fetish is too bad. So much is psychological. The enema is viewed by many as the worst experience they can think of.. how often have you heard "I'd rather have an enema than.. (insert horrible experience here)" A proclivity for enjoying enemas has never been something you could bring up in polite conversation..

My wife had never had an enema before I met her, so she had no point of reference, and in our case that was good. She had no prejudice about the process. She never voiced any qualms over the whole bathroom/toilet/poop issue, and seemed to immediately understand that the goal was pleasurable sensation, and the poop was a temporary and unavoidable circumstance, worth getting past for the pleasure.

I truly believe that how it's presented/approached with your spouse means everything, and if you go into it acting embarrassed and ashamed, that will certainly taint your attempt to introduce them.

I think the most common mistake made when you do get the spouse to try them is expecting them to be aroused by the enema alone as you may be. If you wait to start the enema until your partner is in a high state of sexual arousal, from oral sex for example, you have a much better chance at them perceiving the experience as positive and erotic. I took that approach with my wife so many years ago, and she later told me "you could have hit me over the head with your shoe at that point and I would have liked it". Presentation is everything..

Yes great topic. Most important is communication with your partner. Losing a relationship over a sexual fantasy as common as a simple enema is ridiculous. If we were talking about e stim play or some kind of bondage, I would understand. An enema is more than just a sexual pleasure, for some people it is a way of life and is considered a food group.

Be calm and introduce literature on the subject. Do your research before, communicate and let your partner know how you feel otherwise this relationship really is not as deep as you thought in the first place...

If your partner is not willing to accept your sexual fantasy/interest, in many cases it means that you do not have trust or even love. It's a pity and not much can be done.

I do enjoy enemas very much but me personally would not want to end my relationship with my wife for enemas. I will continue to pleasure myself solo if need be. I must say my wife would probably give me an enema if I was insistent, but that's not how i want it to be. She is very much into sex and pleasing me as i am in pleasing her. I did though end my relationship with my ex-wife 25 years ago for my current wife due to almost non existent sex. With that being said I am wrestling with my strong desire to find a playmate for enema/spanking play only no sex (the no sex is my convoluted justification of not cheating on my wife), but i guess that in reality is risking my current relationship.

As much as I believe in honesty in a relationship; the enema fetish must remain a dark secret do to some lack of understanding on her part. I guess it's just not for everybody.

I was open about my interest from the beginning, although couching it very much in the aspect of my personal health (as tho it was necesary) and my upbringing. (true) She had no adverse reaction whatsoever and it enabled me to pursue my love of her without the guilt that I was "odd".

Yes, I believe it was a "bottom line" thing (really-no pun intended) as would , or should be many other compatability issues. While she did not have near the enjoyment about it as I, it was very much and willingly part of our love making, to the extent she had no qualms whatsover about how I felt and her role in that regard making me feel good. I on the other hand did everypossible thing I could to pleasure her as she wanted. We had 46 wonderfull years.

I am a divorce lawyer, and number one as to why people divorce is that they did not really know each other in the beginning but let sex be the driving initial force with too little known about each other--whatever the hopes, dreams, kinks and traits that ultimately surface over time.

Yes, I believe the interest/enjoyment etc of enemas should very much be out in the open from the very beginning.

Acceptance and understanding is crucial--a vow to take an enema every day isn't essential, or even the committment that it is the greatest thing ever--but acceptance, understanding and support is essential. And you, likewise must strive to know, understand and accept your potential partner in life. It is a two way street.

Otherwise, one of you will be in my office sooner or later.

Love to all,

GDFRU

Should you risk your relationship for your enemas?

It depends.

Are you willing to risk losing everything you have for something you want?

I probably take the different road than most people here because I would have to say that if my husband would have put his foot down (which he knows better than to do in the first place), when I came out and discovered that I had a medical fetish. And he would have said no way, I would have told him to not let the door hit him where the good Lord split him.

In my opinion having a medical fetish isn't a choice. It is who I am, and a good chunk of it may I add. Again, my thoughts, love me for who I am, not what you want or think I should be. Had I known I had a medical fetish, well, I knew I had one, just didn't know it had a name and that others thought like me, when I got married, and knowing he didn't share the same interests, I would have never married him. But I didn't know then what I know now, and now is now, then was then. Big difference.

So asked the question of "would I risk my relationship for my fetish?" My answer is absolutely yes, I would and I did. He was given the choice to stay or leave. I was not given a choice whether or not to have this fetish. And I am not at all sorry I do either.

Mashie

It's a significant challenge when a love affair with enemas long precedes any other relationships. It's not necessarily the type of issue that is in the forefront at the beginning of most relationships. Those who can openly and honestly discuss such things are surely better off in the long term.

I liked Mashie's and SS's responses. I believe that some degree of risk exists in maintaining a love for this particular kink. Managing risk is a tricky proposition in most anything we do. I happen to be a bit of a risk taker and conversely, a problem solver. I also believe that if nothing is ventured, nothing will be gained.

As a product of the 50's and 60's, having been privy to the more open discussions of enemas etc., I still believe that a set of circumstances can be arranged to allow willing participants to engage in the exchange or mutual enjoyment of this particular hobby. Our moms and grandmas seemed to be ready to assist neighbors, friends, and other family members with this very intimate procedure. Why can't we carry on with this extraordinary tradition?

The sexual overtones notwithstanding, I still thoroughly enjoy the procedure for what it is and the benefits it can provide. I occasionally pay a colon hydrotherapist or a masseuse for a treatment. I find it disheartening that an enema, from a willing assistant, is so difficult to find. Monetary renumeration or plain old bartering or horsetrading, will hopefully become more common at some point...I guess I'm daydreaming again.

ps, the sensual/sexual side is still a major component!

I'm not interested in an intimate relationship that doesn't involve enemas. There are just too many willing women who will partake. All you have to do is bring it up. If they cringe, move on.

It is usually not the norm to have a positive or "I'll participate" response from our spouses. Life is a series of trade-offs--and you have to decide what you can, and cannot accept in a relationship.

I risked my relationship with my wife BEFORE we married by telling her of my enjoyment for enemas, and to my somewhat surprise, she said it was fine.....it didn't bother her. That was then........but things have changed. After 25+ years of marriage, she's decided that she's not at all into enemas, and simply refuses to engage in any kind of enema play. So today, it's strictly solo when I have the private time.

Sse4fun the problem today is if you suggest and enema for a constipated child you are a perv. if it isn't your child you are a molester if its an adult you are a freak. People today thing the worst first and for good reason it's not the same today as it was when we were kids most adults had our best interest in mind and today depravity knows no bounds seems to be true just look at the headlines.

I have in the past had/been given/taken many enemas. However I have not had one for many years as my wife is ultra vanilla and the thought of this activity would in her mind be dirty and be cause for divorce and separation from my children. My wife is absolute black and white on every issue and a 1% compromise she would consider a complete failure. Yes I was drunk when we married.

For many of us enemas are so freighted with guilt and shame, that revealing our deepest desires is risking exposure and rejection. I wish I could be as open as many on this forum. Still you wonder " Will she ever see me the same way again ? Or if we break up, will my secret become tasty gossip ?

That is why this group is so great ! It is a gathering of like minded people, who can share these deep longings without fear of censure. Mighty nice to be here.

I have been married for 38 years and told my wife about my experience with enemas growing up as my mother was a strong believer in the health benefits of regular (weekly) enemas as well as the beneficial healing properties of enemas for all sort of ailments, from constipation, to tummy aches, headaches, colds, etc., and also told her that I continued to take enemas at least twice a week. She also had enemas as a child but really did not like them but said that if I felt they were healthy and helpful for me she had no problems, only that she had no interest in taking or giving them (although she is an RN). That has worked out well over all these years and she will go as far as, occasionally, reminding me that it has been several days since my last series of enemas and that perhaps I should think of doing a series soon. The nice thing is that I do not have to hide my enema equipment and as we have 3 full bathrooms in the house plus one for visitors I leave my enema 4-quart silicone back and double balloon nozzle hanging in our master bathroom as no one else uses it.