Would You Marry A Vanilla?

Nope. It's just worth going unsatisfied and its only going to lead to arguments and cheating.

Well, when I got married to my husband, we didn't have kinks but things weren't off the table. We discussed fantasies and tried to fulfill them for each other.

16 years later and he is vanilla and doesn't like change in bed. I'm sad to say that if I knew he was going to be vanilla, I wouldn't have married him.

For me, just to much of a difference.

Yes, my BF is 100% vanilla.. love him to bits. I think a relationship is about more and he makes me happy.

@Chastity you are 20+ , I am 70+ , let me know in 50 years your appreciation please . . . 😉

I did and I have 3 decades behind me and I regret it

How do you reply to people here?

Anyway, to that person who told me to wait till Im 70. I don't think it would make a difference. Love is more important than kinks.

This is a very touchy subject. Am I kinky - certainly. As the years progress kink has subsided and love has remained true. Lots has happened to my spouse and I over recent years. Our love and bond has always been what has kept us together- not specifically the kinks. But as they say, your mileage may vary.

How do you reply to people here?

@Chastity - Simply address them by name, as @arthur and I have addressed you. Try it and you might see how it works.

Anyway, to that person who told me to wait till Im 70. I don't think it would make a difference. Love is more important than kinks.

Acting out a kink is only a brief experience. Living together and caring for each other is a much longer experience.

One can always find work arounds for the kinks if they are really so important and if the other partner is more or less understanding. Sometimes just ignoring the other's kink preferences or pretending they don't exist is enough ...

Sorry, that sounds like a train wreck to me. But then, I've never been married. True, deep love might override the need for kink, but would have to be a little frustrating at times.

I proposed to a vanilla and got turned down.

I did and it didn't work out.

I married a vanilla and it is OK. My kinks have grown more intense over the years which makes it more difficult for me. Also our sexual appetites have grown in different directions over the years. But marriage to me is a package deal.

I did, my first marriage was to a vanilla and though it lasted some ten years I vowed never to do that again.

I did and would NEVER do it again, that's why she's my ex!

My wife and I got married pretty much because we were making out in my car one evening and she mentioned that sometimes she feels like she needs a spanking. This was back in the days when you felt like you were the only one in the world. We were married three months later and although it was about all we had in common it lasted for 15 years. I can't imagine me in a relationship where the woman did not at least know that I was seriously into spanking and cannot separate it from sex although at this point in my life I don't think it would be necessary for her to participate.

@OldEr8c We were married three months later and although it was about all we had in common it lasted for 15 years. I can't imagine me in a relationship where the woman did not at least know that I was seriously into spanking and cannot separate it from sex although at this point in my life I don't think it would be necessary for her to participate.

Wow - enjoyed reading your account. You are a lucky guy to have her. Way back when I was dating my 1st wife, she talked about her being constipated and her doctor telling her to take an enema every night for awhile. I believed that once we married I'd be in enema heaven, as if thought she must be into enemas. Foolishly I did not discuss how important my love of enemas was to me before we married. After we married, when I finally got the never to discuss it, she told me my interest was a perverted and wanted no part of it.

When you are young and get married, I don't think, for most people, that any kinks come into play before marriage. And, unfortunately, way too many spouses refuse to satisfy the urges of their partner, no matter how mild the kink is. But, the 2nd marriage, if there is one, I think is different. Then you are not in a hurry and can discuss and experiment. That is how things worked out for me. We practiced my kinks for over 20 years. But, now age has come upon us and she is hesitant . Things do change no matter how much you wish otherwise. But, I would not trade her in for anything.

We were both fairly vanilla when we met and got married. As our sex life matured, we became somewhat kinky - but not to the extent of a lot of members here. We both became very anal and incorporated some form of anal play in all of our sex activities. Medfet only as another anal activity. We experimented with some other fetishes, spanking, light bondage, etc. and occasionally dabbled with them. We visited a (very) few BDSM parties and were voyeurs, not participants. We never explored sex with others. For the most part, we considered ourselves “light weights” in the BDSM community. But we were both very satisfied with our sex lives. I'd put my wife's butt up against anyones!!! 😄

@jackacorn Things do change no matter how much you wish otherwise. But, I would not trade her in for anything.

Oh so true… all you wrote sounds like something I could say about my situation as well…

One of my favorite memories is this: It is mid-summer and we are on a two week vacation high in northern California, close to the Oregon border, on the south fork of the Smith River. We are all alone and we decide to go nude. We lather each other up with sun screen, so we don’t end up with terrible sun burns. We swim, we play…we are in love and life is good. We share an anal kink together. I had built a custom fly-spin combination rod that each of the reels could be inserted. In the afternoon I asked if she minded if I fished for a bit and she enthusiastically said yes and she wanted to watch, which I thought was a little out of character for her. I had the unit set for spin casting with my favorite lure for that river and, without realizing it, I was becoming engrossed in what I was doing…until I feel my wife’s breasts in my back and she starts to rub my ass. Suddenly her finger slides up my ass, aided by all of that sun tan oil, and she begins to slowly finger fuck me! Obviously my cock easily becomes erect and she starts giving me the reach-around! Fishing…ha…I’m only going through the motions, as I have no idea of what I’m doing! But I do recall thinking at the time that life doesn’t get much better than this!

Fast forward 15 years: Our daughter is with my parents for one of the summer months and we are off-shore in our, relatively new, sailing yacht. We are out of San Francisco Bay and had sailed to Santa Cruz for a couple of days to hook up with a couple of friends. Of course we could have driven down much…much faster, but hey, we were very proud of our boat. Now the point of this story: the day we were going back, the weather turned shitty and the seas were up. The boat is very sea worthy and we were still very adventurous and we set sail for home… into it, and against the 2 knot Humboldt Current (now called the California Current) Sailing too close to the coast is dangerous under these conditions (lee shore), so we tacked way out, figuring to miss the south shoal at the edge of the channel entrance to San Francisco Bay. This is a now slog and it is going to take whatever time it takes us to get home. We also realized that we were very short handed for such an expedition (we would never go off-shore without a crew again). We were getting tired and we needed to set up watches. I reefed the sails so that one person at the helm would not get into trouble. Yes it would take longer, but that is what it takes. She went down first. We have agreed on 3 on and 3 off, meaning each of us could get 3 hours of rest/shut-eye, while the other steered the compass course (dead reckoning). We do have a spray dodger, but there is a huge amount of spray coming over the top, meaning that full foul weather gear and sea boots are an imperative! The radar is on all of time and set to 16 miles and is a real help in knowing exactly where we are. The depth gage is also a navigational aid, when compared with the chart, which is clipped to the navigation station. At her time to relieve me, she opened the doors to the companionway and said, “I’m up, just let me get my gear on and then I’ll be up to relieve you!” Then up she came in her full regalia, deep red Henry Lloyd Ocean Racer II pants and jacket with built-in harness and yellow sea boots. I unclip from the jack lines and ask her if I can help clip her in. she says, “Nope, I’ve got it. Check my fix on the radar before you go to bed though, please.” I did and verified that she, in fact had done it right and I acknowledged that she had made a fine job of it. When I came up to relieve her, I was impressed at what I saw. Her foul weather gear was wet, her harness was clipped and she was standing up looking around, aware of what was going on around her. As she became aware that I was smiling up at her, admiring her, she said enthusiastically, “I think I can see the Large Navigational Buoy!” (It is not there anymore, it has been replaced by Electronic Aid to Navigation, or eATON AIS) I said, “Yes I make it 12 degrees off the starboard bow, I’ll take it starboard.” She said, I’m good here, let’s just do it together.”

And there you have it! Yes, it is nice when she shares your kink. But when the shit is on, it is much more important that you can have someone that you can depend on, because at the end of the day, that is all you really have. That is why she has me to take care of her, as I try to make her life with this god damned Parkinson’s disease as tolerable as I can make it for her!

I will never marry again.

Sailing Master, (I apologize I am not sure how to do quoting yet.)

That was….beautiful. I just wanted to say that. It sounds like the love you two have for each other is vast and deep. I hope to find that one day.

@Sailing_Master I know exactly what you mean! Great post! Great commitment!

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@Sailing_Master 🌹❤️

I was married to a vanilla, and we had a great sex life. It didn't work out. I would have stayed, if things had worked out.

Because some things really are more important than sex and kink.

@sundaybrunch I was married to a vanilla, and we had a great sex life. It didn't work out. I would have stayed, if things had worked out.

Because some things really are more important than sex and kink.

Yup - so true! What you wrote is my story as well. I don't regret my 1st marriage.. it lasted some 10 years and there were lots good times, though not with enemas or kinky sex..

Yup - so true! What you wrote is my story as well. I don't regret my 1st marriage.. it lasted some 10 years and there were lots good times, though not with enemas or kinky sex..

I suppose people marry for various reasons. Some people want someone to $upport them. Some people want someone to do the chores. Some people just want a supply of sex. Some people want dinner on the table every night. Some people don't want to sleep alone. I suppose some people actually do want companionship. I think if you can get 2 of those things, you're lucky.

When you really love each other you both recognize your likes and dislikes You share almost everything. You respect your individual feelings. You plan, build wealth together. Communicate Feelings and desires. Share joy and are compassionate to sorrow. Best of all, Never go to sleep angry.

It works.

With my kinks I think of myself as vanilla. And I know there is someone out there who wants to marry me for being me. And yes she is well aware of my non-vanilla side.

Yes i Would Marry a Vanilla. They have to be able to handle the side of me.