Would You Marry A Vanilla?

@Firegirl911 I can, and I will

Having lived in both types of relationships for years I would not marry a vanilla. The intimacy of a sexual relationship can not be underestimated in importance. The sharing of our ‘secret desires’ that we dare not share with others brings a new level of closeness. I seriously doubt that if I were in that situation again that a vanilla relationship would ever make it to the stage of considering marriage.

Never. I’ve wasted more than enough time with a few of them.

My marriage didn't fail because he was vanilla, we were young and stupid, and got pressured to marry because that's what you do in a good religious family when you get knocked up. I probably wouldn't get in a serious relationship with someone vanilla, but I definitely wouldn't marry someone who's idea of foreplay is “roll over, this will only take a minute.” 🙄 I actually dated a guy for awhile who, in his mid 30s, was saving himself for marriage. It was weird because I had a 10 year old so I clearly wasn't a virgin. He would do almost everything but intercourse, but it always felt weird to stop. In the end, we were incompatible on many levels.

Fuck no……..just saying😏

Well, I actually did marry a vanilla. We were both so young that we really didn't know ourselves yet, let alone each other. It took years for us to come to terms with my plastic fetish; but in those years life went on. The careers we had, the friends we made and experiences we had, and most of all the wonderful daughter whom I still look up to…I wouldn't have missed a moment of it. Now that I've lost her I"m not really looking for someone….

Not knowingly but I did.

Marry a vanilla???? Ha I married a bloke who does not like sex. So vanilla would be an improvement.

Seriously though my first requirement for married would be love. But I would need to have a serious conversation before a second marriage, not sure I could cope with a second sexless marriage

I'm learning I don't like to apply titles to things….sex included. My needs probably lean to the so-called vanilla side when compared to many on here. As long as he is willing to delve into the kinkier side, it wouldn't be a problem. If he ends up like my ex-husband and shames me for wanting to be tied up, the relationship is over.

I got married first time, I hardly had a kinky side and my ex had not yet catholic tennents. I learned lots on my own and a more worldly wife. Everybody around me all got married way to soon (21 ish)

Is there more to marriage/a relationship than kink or lack there of? Of course. A big part of a sustainable, fulfilling, longterm relationship, regardless of marital status, is compatibility. A big part of compatibility, at least for most people, is sex and intimacy. Being on the same page or willing to work towards satisfying each other is key. Each person in a relationship has to determine what are their personal non-negotiables. It will look differently for everyone and every relationship, but unwillingly (sometimes even willingly) subjugating your wants and needs, sexual and other, is usually a short trip to resentmentville.

Also, sometimes compatibility is he likes to spend Saturday afternoons golfing and I like to spend them reading in peace and quiet. It's not always liking the exact same things. It can take time and experience to know these things for yourself.

@MittenKitten Good post. You nailed it.

Yes, I did. And glad of it. She is a wonderful woman.

Indeed I have to sneak my enemas, but I feel I have the best of both worlds.

I was young and so was my wife when we were married. We were both vanilla and inexperienced. Over the years my tastes have definitely changed to the kinkier side of life while hers have remained the same.

Had I known more I might have tried to find a woman that was as deviant as I turned out. It's a tough call, weighing the enjoyment of kink vs. the companionship and compatibility of a mate in other areas of our lives.

Marriage is a bit of a crapshoot, so we make the best choices that we can.

Being on the same page or willing to work towards satisfying each other is key.

@MittenKitten In my opinion compromise is crucial in a successful marriage, and communication for that matter…

Marry a vanilla???? Ha I married a bloke who does not like sex. So vanilla would be an improvement.

@Secret_sub Why doesn't your husband like sex, what are the reasons? Is it a medical or a psychological issue, what type of therapy or counselling has he had?

If she’s a vanilla Oreo with an endless reservoir of cream in the middle , I might consider it ?