What are the greatest things doctor says

"bear down" seems to illicit smiles from women just before you poke them

Roll over on your left side (as he’s getting the glove and ky jelly)

Jim, I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer.

the phrase i recall most from a real doc when i was a boy "relax, ... it doesn't hurt that much" that made an impression for sure

How old were you? Can you remember what the procedure was? Did it hurt?

Oh yes I remember all right, I was 6, he was pulling out the stiches from my circumcision, and it b***** well did hurt.

Jim, I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer.

No matter what our experiences with doctors may be, anything said by Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy will always reign supreme.

Everything looks good. See you next year.

Strip down to your underwear and have a seat on the table.

"now lie on your back"

Followed by

"you'll feel a little pressure".

This is in regards to the abdomen palpatations.

At this point I'm just in my underwear and the paper gown. He'll lift the gown and see my erection tenting my underwear. It's embarrassing but very arousing. He'll do the abdomen check which feels great. Then he'll have me stand up and remove my underwear. I'll take them completely off even though he only asks me to slide them down. I'm fully erect and then he'll do the hernia check.

He'll tell me to get dressed and then I'll ask him a bunch if questions while I slowly dress. Prolonging my nudity as long as possible. Starting with my shirt and Workin my way down. I love being fully nude in front of my clothed doctor.

I’m going to feel for hernias so please lower your underwear and turn your head... now cough please

Pull your underware down to your knees

"I going to take a listen to your heart now..."

"Let me check your pulse..."

"It's OK, I'm going to take good care of you..."

???

In an urgent care with a raging headache and throwing up, hearing the doctor say, "The injection will take just few minutes to kick in and you're going to feel better."

Here's some free little blue pills!

@MelissaS said

My Ob/Gyn calls his patients Sweetheart. What drives me wild is when he says "Ok I'm afraid its that time again Sweetheart . Lay back, raise your legs and rest those pretty little heels in these stirrups. Oh and relax. Now scoot your bottom down her toward me. I did tell you to relax"

If my OB/GYN [or ANY of my doctors] ever called me "sweetheart" I would say "I'm not your 'sweetheart'". Saying that as well as other terms of endearment is VERY UNPROFESSIONAL. Saying Susan, Sue, Mrs. Jones or even Ma'am is fine. We have been personal friends with my gyno and his wife for over 25 years, so he gets to call me Susie.

I also do not want to be called, "Honey", "Dear", "Luv / Love",or "Sweety". Saying "good girl" afterward would give me pause about how they generally treated their patients. I am a woman, not a girl.

OMFG, especially sweety.

If they called me any of those, I would even consider not returning to their office and It wouldn't matter if the doctor was male or female.

I like when their General Information form asks, "what name do you like to be called?"

"If you stay the way you are right now you will live to 106"

Last physical, based upon weight, blood pressure, bpm.

"If you stay the way you are right now you will live to 106" . . . .

I would take that with a big grain of salt unless I was already 105 and a half.

I hate when they make phony "feel good" statements that are completely anecdotal and unsupported. It's just like when the doc says to the little boy, "Wow, look who is going to grow up to be a big football star," and you know he says that to every little boy.

“I’m just going to pull your underwear aside” while the doctor is taking my femoral pulse.

I would take that with a big grain of salt unless I was already 105 and a half.

I hate when they make phony "feel good" statements that are completely anecdotal and unsupported. It's just like when they doc says to the little boy, "Wow, look who is going to grow up to be a big football star," and you know he says that to every little boy.

Agreed. Also who is to say you will not get run over by a speeding truck while crossing the street. Whether you believe in Creationism, Darwinism, or worship a bag of carrots, when your time is up, your time is up.

@lenore I used to play doctor alot with a woman I once dated. She was extremely anal erotic. One evening she showed up with a handheld microscope with a built in light and said: I want you to examine me with this. I spent many "appointments" examining her bottom with that device! I've spent many nights alone fantasizing about those exams.

"I'm just going to listen to your chest"

"Hope my stethoscope isn't too cold for you"

"Take a nice deep breath each time you feel my stethoscope"

"Please remove your shirt"

any of those are so hot

Well, I need to check your blood pressure again....I'll have you lay back for me and I'm going to place a cuff on each of your arms.....We'll be taking 3 measurements on each arm, in a miriad of dfferent positions.....May be a long day.

Never happened and never will, but what fun to think about😃

“Cough.....and again.”

In real life, latterly. "Please can you undress and put on a gown. You need to take everything off."(Any kind of variation on that..eg "Please take all of your clothes off and then put the gown on." ) Etc., etc.

"Open those legs wider please" whilst standing before my "doctor" naked, hands on head for my genital examination and measurements. He also reminds me again later whilst on the exam table face up in the "frog" position to ensure full genital and anal access with muy knees wide apart and my hips thrust upwards.

Some of the following phrases are ones that are a few favorites:

''Good Girl''

''Just relax for me''

''Hang in there, almost done, you are doing great''

''Just let your knees fall open for me''

''I'm just going to take a quick look and your genitals/anus''

''You are going to feel me touch you, then spread your cheeks/labia, just take deep breaths and relax''

''Just bear down for me as I insert my finger into your rectum, it wont hurt but you will feel full''

''I'm going to gently manipulate your clitoris and G spot for a clinically induced orgasm, don't fight it, just let it happen''

Negative.

"Deep breath...you're going to feel some pressure...a little more..."

After my most recent mammogram, it's now called 3-D tomography, my gynecologist's text last Friday: "Radiologist's report no positive findings. Follow up in one year. Enjoy your weekend." Always a worrier about the results of these exams.

See you next year!