Has anyone been examined by a parent?

(Long theoretical post)

This is a "win" topic, insofar as the theory about fetishes is accepted -- that fetishes are caused by unprocessed childhood pain. It's just so much better to see SOMEONE ELSE suffering the pain of being locked up in a play-pen, having messy diapers, having to submit to a medical exam, etc., than to have it happen to one's self. The greater the pain and embarrassment, the stronger the fetish-charge, and since being examined, especially past puberty, by a parent is about as embarrassing as I can imagine, it makes sense that this topic would get a strong response.

On the other hand, this is a "lose" topic for the board, in that a lot of bad buttons are getting pushed: pedophilia, incest, mandatory reporting, child abuse, etc.

My mother's behavior towards me was such that I had to sit her down for an incest intervention, years ago. . She had various boundary-violation patterns, and no insight into them, and you couldn't meaningfully ask her to stop, as there was no "mind" in her that was aware of what she was doing. If you had shown her video of her doing such-and-such a behavior, she would have denied it. The intervention didn't stop her, so finally I hard to sit down with my dad and explain that I was adopting a "no contact" stance with her. Not going to be in the same house, car church, family gathering, etc. Since her boundary-violations were what was fueling the sense of boundary-violations as a "hot topic" in my own mind, the "De-FOOing" process, while painful, put a stop to a lot of the trouble I was having. Honestly, it was like somebody pulled the plug on the energizer bunny. Suddenly the compulsive character of that sort of material was gone. Now I work in evictions, helping tenants set proper boundaries with each other, as this enables them to live together without trouble. That's how important boundary-setting has become for me. (FOO - family of origin. Defoo = cut ties with family of origin.) Talking about this is not a happy place for me, so don't ask for details. On the other hand, I live with the uncomfortable knowledge that her "phallic mother" "I'm in charge here, I'm in charge of you" attitude colors my adult sexual life. It's bad enough to live with this with my eyes open. I'm very glad I am no longer allowing those attitudes to control me, and to set the tone for my relationships.

So, to the end of helping everyone get the maximum hygienic benefit out of this thread / topic, I would like to offer the following sketch of the territory: I don't think anyone is at the Maximum Fetish Loser position or the Maximum Fetish Winner position, I think we're all in the middle somewhere. But it might help people to have a map, so they have some idea of where the GOOD BEANS are buried and where the BAD BEANS are buried.

Maximum Loser Position:

I have no conscious understanding of my own parent-child dynamic operative in my own fetish life, so I spend a lot of time trying to get into the parent-child dynamics of other people by asking intrusive questions, and I am driven to try to reestablish abusive relationships along the lines laid down in my childhood, with anyone I can find who is vulnerable enough to play along with me. They don't get any say in the scene - - - it's all about me acting out my most-charged scenes from 30 years ago, with the partner as silent meat-pupet. I'm totally demanding and precise about this, and yet I have no idea what I'm doing or why, and no idea or concern that this might not be meeting the other person's needs, or even being really damaging to them. I have been doing this for years, and have no interest in learning or changing.

Maximum WINNER position:

I totally understand the good and bad erotics of the parent-child dynamic operating in my own fetish life, and I am free to play all the positions: good daddy, bad daddy, good mommy, bad mommy, horny kid, prim kid, etc. When I engage other people in this sort of play, I do so based on consent negotiations, constantly checking back with my partners to see how their needs are being met, as well as giving them good feedback on how my needs are getting met. There is good-natured give and take in the role-playing: on Tuesday night we do YOUR favorite thing, on Thursday night, we do MY favorite thing. At every point, I'm open to learning more about the uncomfortable material driving my fetishes, although the pain makes it hard to process more than a little at a time. I'm willing to make allowances, in the larger life of the fetish community, for people who have less understanding of their issues, and thus less freedom to go off-script, and for people who have more understanding of their issues, and are able to go places where I can't go.

Sorry to go Psychology Corner here, but I think this is a topic where it's good to have a YARD-DUTY watching out for people's safety. If you hang out with ME, you'll end up sitting down for a reader's theater performance of Sophocles's Oidopous Tyrannos in Ancient Greek. That's how I roll...

---1970sboy.

(Long theoretical post)

This is a "win" topic, insofar as the theory about fetishes is accepted -- that fetishes are caused by unprocessed childhood pain. It's just so much better to see SOMEONE ELSE suffering the pain of being locked up in a play-pen, having messy diapers, having to submit to a medical exam, etc., than to have it happen to one's self. The greater the pain and embarrassment, the stronger the fetish-charge, and since being examined, especially past puberty, by a parent is about as embarrassing as I can imagine, it makes sense that this topic would get a strong response.

On the other hand, this is a "lose" topic for the board, in that a lot of bad buttons are getting pushed: pedophilia, incest, mandatory reporting, child abuse, etc.

My mother's behavior towards me was such that I had to sit her down for an incest intervention, years ago. . She had various boundary-violation patterns, and no insight into them, and you couldn't meaningfully ask her to stop, as there was no "mind" in her that was aware of what she was doing. If you had shown her video of her doing such-and-such a behavior, she would have denied it. The intervention didn't stop her, so finally I hard to sit down with my dad and explain that I was adopting a "no contact" stance with her. Not going to be in the same house, car church, family gathering, etc. Since her boundary-violations were what was fueling the sense of boundary-violations as a "hot topic" in my own mind, the "De-FOOing" process, while painful, put a stop to a lot of the trouble I was having. Honestly, it was like somebody pulled the plug on the energizer bunny. Suddenly the compulsive character of that sort of material was gone. Now I work in evictions, helping tenants set proper boundaries with each other, as this enables them to live together without trouble. That's how important boundary-setting has become for me. (FOO - family of origin. Defoo = cut ties with family of origin.) Talking about this is not a happy place for me, so don't ask for details. On the other hand, I live with the uncomfortable knowledge that her "phallic mother" "I'm in charge here, I'm in charge of you" attitude colors my adult sexual life. It's bad enough to live with this with my eyes open. I'm very glad I am no longer allowing those attitudes to control me, and to set the tone for my relationships.

So, to the end of helping everyone get the maximum hygienic benefit out of this thread / topic, I would like to offer the following sketch of the territory: I don't think anyone is at the Maximum Fetish Loser position or the Maximum Fetish Winner position, I think we're all in the middle somewhere. But it might help people to have a map, so they have some idea of where the GOOD BEANS are buried and where the BAD BEANS are buried.

Maximum Loser Position:

I have no conscious understanding of my own parent-child dynamic operative in my own fetish life, so I spend a lot of time trying to get into the parent-child dynamics of other people by asking intrusive questions, and I am driven to try to reestablish abusive relationships along the lines laid down in my childhood, with anyone I can find who is vulnerable enough to play along with me. They don't get any say in the scene - - - it's all about me acting out my most-charged scenes from 30 years ago, with the partner as silent meat-pupet. I'm totally demanding and precise about this, and yet I have no idea what I'm doing or why, and no idea or concern that this might not be meeting the other person's needs, or even being really damaging to them. I have been doing this for years, and have no interest in learning or changing.

Maximum WINNER position:

I totally understand the good and bad erotics of the parent-child dynamic operating in my own fetish life, and I am free to play all the positions: good daddy, bad daddy, good mommy, bad mommy, horny kid, prim kid, etc. When I engage other people in this sort of play, I do so based on consent negotiations, constantly checking back with my partners to see how their needs are being met, as well as giving them good feedback on how my needs are getting met. There is good-natured give and take in the role-playing: on Tuesday night we do YOUR favorite thing, on Thursday night, we do MY favorite thing. At every point, I'm open to learning more about the uncomfortable material driving my fetishes, although the pain makes it hard to process more than a little at a time. I'm willing to make allowances, in the larger life of the fetish community, for people who have less understanding of their issues, and thus less freedom to go off-script, and for people who have more understanding of their issues, and are able to go places where I can't go.

Sorry to go Psychology Corner here, but I think this is a topic where it's good to have a YARD-DUTY watching out for people's safety. If you hang out with ME, you'll end up sitting down for a reader's theater performance of Sophocles's Oidopous Tyrannos in Ancient Greek. That's how I roll...

---1970sboy.

Thank you for your response to this thread. Your mother just like my mother is what I call a Narcissistic Mother, as my mother also had sever mental issues. It has taken me many, many years and self help to realize my mother was abusive and perhaps she was abused herself as a child. What many people on this board don't realize that abuse comes in many forms from parents, to doctors to clergy, teachers and police to boyfriends and girlfriends to husbands and wives, and siblings.

For me, my abuse also became a fetish/kink because that is what I know and experienced. Although it maybe odd to some, it became my reality.

I didn't have the chance to comfort my mother since my mother has passed away and the doctor that also abused me passed away as well but I am at piece and have accept the fact and moved on with my life and enjoy my life to the fullest and enjoy my sexuality!

(Long theoretical post)

This is a "win" topic, insofar as the theory about fetishes is accepted -- that fetishes are caused by unprocessed childhood pain. It's just so much better to see SOMEONE ELSE suffering the pain of being locked up in a play-pen, having messy diapers, having to submit to a medical exam, etc., than to have it happen to one's self. The greater the pain and embarrassment, the stronger the fetish-charge, and since being examined, especially past puberty, by a parent is about as embarrassing as I can imagine, it makes sense that this topic would get a strong response.

That might be true for YOU but isn't necessarily true and quite frankly sounds like a lot of psychobabble bullshit.

Many of us got into our fetishes simply because we happened to like performing certain acts. I never had a medically necessary enema in my life. They have all been for fun. I always knew I enjoyed the sensation of stimulating myself there and when I was eight years old found a fleet enema in the bathroom vanity. I read the directions on the bottle and gave myself an enema--I was hooked--I loved it. I also have to say I carefully poured the fleet solution into a glass and used plain water for the enema. I replaced the fleet solution in the fleet bottle after I cleaned it when I finished giving myself the enema. Had I used the fleet solution instead of water, I doubt I would have liked enemas. The closest my parents came to being responsible for me liking enemas was having the fleet in the vanity. They never gave me an enema.

Regarding my love for bondage and tying people up to restrain them, I saw people getting tied up on television shows and movies and thought it would be fun to tie up my friends. When I was about ten or eleven I started using my jump ropes to tie my friends. I tied them up lying on the floor and also to the kitchen chairs just like in the movies. I perfected my techniques and got good at it. When I got older and was in high school I bought 100 foot lengths of sash cord at the hardware store to tie up my sex partners and my BDSM career was underway. FUN FUN FUN!

My parents didn't spank me either, but that didn't stop me from liking to inflict corporal punishment either.

(Long theoretical post)

" fetishes are caused by unprocessed childhood pain. It's just so much better to see SOMEONE ELSE suffering the pain of being locked up in a play-pen, having messy diapers, having to submit to a medical exam, etc., than to have it happen to one's self. The greater the pain and embarrassment, the stronger the fetish-charge, and since being examined, especially past puberty, by a parent is about as embarrassing as I can imagine, it makes sense that this topic would get a strong response."

---1970sboy.

For me this statement is 100 percent true.

When I was 4 they thought my father had hepatitis or had been exposed. As a result my mother, two brothers and myself had to get those very very painful gamma gobulin injections. I was put over the doctors lap. He and my mother held me down. I then watched my mom and brothers get their shots. Both my brothers cried but I can't remember if my mom did or not.

Not soon after I watched an episode of M*A*S*H called "Carry On Hawkeye" where the entire camp came down with the flu, I watched with what probably cemented my injection fetish. I watched Margaret the camps head nurse demand the head surgeon Hawkeye drop his pants and bend over the desk. Ahhhh, even today when I watch that episode it gets my juices flowing. Boy howdy does it!

I ended up being a nurse in real life and found me a real doctor who also has an injection fetish and is as horny as I am. Coincidence................I don't think so.

But to address the OP's original question, no I was never examined by a parent.

Mashie

I believe, no touch after 3 y.o. allowed from parents

It's not exactly an exam, but my mother touched my penis and retracted my foreskin after my bath. She said she was checking if my penis was clean. I had this exam until I was 13.

At 13 th age, I believe that it was unpleasant and embarrassing but I don't think that it was wrong if a mother wanted to check the intimate cleanliness of his boy at that age at least one time to be sure that he was already able to carry out with his cleanliness himself alone.

I presume that after that she left you wash yourself without any check, so why not , it makes sense in my opinion as long as she stopped after.

Today, to respect the privacy of children , it is exactly the reverse, it is not uncommon that mothers leave boys ( or girls) of 6 or 8 aged wash themselves without any check which is in my opinion not appropriate.

My mother wanted to examine me once, but I refused. My mother had wanted to lower my pajama panties while I was lying on my back, she was rubbing me to cure a cold. I had become very prude at puberty and I always hid to undress, even with my brother. I shared my room with him, he too was doing the same thing.

Subsequently, I must have told myself that it was not so bad to show my penis to my mother and that she had the right to see him. In summer, we often spent the day at the edge of a wood, in an isolated place where we were alone. That day, I stretched a rope between two trees at the edge of the forest and put a towel or perhaps a tent to isolate myself, I think it was to avoid the sun because I have a sensitive skin. I was in swimming trunks.

My mother came to look over the rope and I had the spontaneous idea to ask her if she wanted to see my penis, I do not know how I asked him, certainly not in this way. She accepted, but I already had a little erection. I was afraid she saw it in full, I first showed the glans and part of the shaft, then the testicles leaving the glans in my pants. She told me that it was big. She did not touch him.

A little later, the same day, I lowered my bathing suit in the presence of my two parents and an older lady who was with us. I was standing a few feet away from them and my brother did the same thing at the same time. He had not started puberty yet. I had to be 14 and he 11.

No. Never examined by my parents. My mother would sometimes check my scalp, ears, eyes etc and comment on cuts, bruises, scratches etc whilst bathing me.Otherwise, it was the usual...feeling my forehead if I was hot or inserting a thermometer into my mouth....or rubbing Vic into my chest etc. All pretty routine and mundane.

I was studying in a boarding school and I was at home only for the holidays, I did not see my parents for several months. My mother always thought I had grown up and she was curious to see my body naked or almost naked. In the summer she saw me at the pool, in the winter she always managed to come to my room when she knew I was taking my shower, she began to apologize and asked if she could enter the bathroom to check if I had enough towels and soap. She made a comment on my penis that had, too, grown along with the rest of my body. She asked me if everything was fine, but not too precise. I rolled up my foreskin. It never went further.

Never been examined by my parents i would think that would be strange and weird

I have sort of been examined by a parent. My mom was a gynecologist so if anything was ever wrong down there, she would take a look. This happened a few times growing up.

The last time I was examined by my mom was when I was 46 years old and had a medical emergency involving extreme irritation in my rear and extreme itching in my groin area. I was in such pain that I told my mom what was going on and when she asked me if I would like her to have a look I said OK. I was literally affraid I was going to lose my testicles and I thought it would be far more embarrassing to be scratching my groin in front of her than it would be to just let my mom examined me. It was a little awkward standing naked in front of her while we discussed what was going on with my groin and anal region and I was surprised that it did not humiliated me to turn around, bend way over, and spread my cheeks and carry on a conversation with my mom while she is examining my anus, perenium, scrotum, and penis. It was kind of wierd seeing my private parts hanging just inches in front of my mom's face but niether she nor myself seemed bothered by this. I wasn't all that embarrassed by her examining me in the nude but I felt humiliated when I had to admit to my mom that my private parts were itching so bad that I couldn't help myself and asked her not to be affended that she was about to see me scratch myself in front of her. Instead of being uncomfortable about the situation she just asked me not to be embarrassed by her seeing me do this because it is alright for a mother to see her son this way and asked me where the itching was the worst so I lifted up my penis so she could see how red and inflamed my scrotum and penis was. Scratching the underside of my penis caused me to get an erection and when I apologised and tried to explain mom insisted that there was no reason for me to apologise since I wasn't doing anything wrong. She reminded me that she is my mother and that there is nothing wrong with her seeing my erect penis since I was her son and since she had been through this situation many times with her three brothers so don't worry about it because you have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. She assured me that it is normal for someone in my situation to get an erection and that she was happy to see that I was a healthy male. Despite her reasurance I was still a little embarrassed when she applied ointment to my anal region and groin area. It made sense that she be the one to do these things since I could not see these parts if my body as well or as closely as she could but it was still a bit awkward having my mom getting a much closer look at my private areas than I ever would.

I have not been examined by a parent, but when i was 13 and my boobs were growing and my nipples were itching like crazy, I ask my mother what was wrong and she looked at them, About that time my dad walked in the room and seen me in just my panties..Embarrassing!!!

I've never been examined by my parents.

By uncles friend who was a Dr does that count?

No, I didn't experience something similar, because nobody of my family works in the medical sector.

But a class mate's (female, 16 yo) father was a doctor, and she told me, that her father examined all family members when they were sick. Unfortunately, she didn't tell details, but once, I had the chance to listen when she talked to a friend telling her that her father stethed her when she had a cold...

I'd love to learn more about that ;-)

Sounds like pure fantasy!

Sounds like pure fantasy!

I'm not going to go as far as to say this is fantasy, but I will say it's very unlikely to happen. If it did, I would think it would be a terribly embarrassing and humiliating experience to be examined by your own father like that. Then again, if you're really into embarrassment and humiliation, I suppose it's the perfect thing to really push those buttons.

Wouldn't someone who was a medical technician (which usually is a medical/pathology/hematology laboratory worker with a post baccalaureate degree) have their children see physicians and dentists to make sure they were in good health?

I seriously considered moving this post to the Medfet/Fantasies, dreams board.

On the same wavelength here. Checking teeth and perhaps checking to see if testicles were descended or not might be something I could see happening in a more or less (emphasis on the less) normal setting. But a father asking his son to produce an erection starts to sound very odd and anus checking even more so.

I have known two boys whose dads were doctors and they preferred their dads doing their school physicals rather than going to someone they don't know. If my dad was a doctor, I would seriously consider doing that.

Have you got embarrassing medical such as hernia exam, sports physical by a doctor you know like your relative, neighbor, family friend, etc… how embarrassing was it?

As children, my sister and I would bathe together in our parents tub. When I got out of the tub my mother would sit on stool and check on my foreskin retraction. Early on I could not retract, and she would put coconut oil on my penis to ease the tightness. Over time, my foreskin relaxed, and she would retract it to check for cleanliness. This was a usual bath time event until I began having erections when she touched me, at age 7 or 8. I was then given the responsibility for checking myself.

If one of my parents had been a doctor, I would have loved being examined by one of them !

But this wasn't the case :-(

But in our class, we had a girl who's dad was a doctor. And every time I saw her, I couldn't help imaging her being stethed by her dad ;-)

Because I had my Stethoscope fetish as early as that...

My parents did not examine me but as I have mentioned in my profile I do have my own stethoscope to listen to my daughters whenever i hear they a cough / cold. I try learning about breath and heart sounds to do so looking at youtube tution vids.

Only time mom checked me over was after I had an accident or fall. but she would only look at the area that my be infured. but if it was below the belt she had no issues having me undress to my underwear and take them off or look under if she felt it necisary. Last time I was 16. I would get sick allot growning up and when ever she needed to take my temp it was always in the bottom that lasted till I was 19 and moved out even at 19 there was only so much protest I could get away from before the wood spoon came out.

Yes. Both parents do and medicate. Very clear remembers. I think the reazon for medical fetish

Yes I've been examined by my mother who is an LPN. She gave me a complete exam with rectal and genital exam. @Joy_ful would you be willing to go into more detail about your exam's?

Hasn't every one? Who takes their child to a dr for unplanned visit without taking a look or feel etc themselves first. Especially when little?

I can recall if unwell mom looking me over and feeling my tummy etc.

Looking into throat if sore or checking privates if i complained of irritation.

I was not one of those parents that ran to the dr at every single moment.