Age and attraction.

I think I was more concerned with age when I was younger . I just turned 50 and I can say age does not play a factor when I like someone. Its a collective of qualities I look for . Maturity is definitely on the top of my list tho, a good sense of humor is also a must . I like dominant men, manly men, confident but not cocky. I like to feel cared for, nurtured and protected.

As far as men over 60 , I am fine with that, I dont have a cut off age my only concern would be that I dont kill them in the bedroom ! 😉

Susie said “I hate to give you the realities of life, but men over 60 are invisible to women over 50 unless they are in excellent shape. Go on a diet.”

I personally dont find this true for any age, there has to be a physical attraction of course but that comes in many different shapes and sizes and I actually prefer a man with some meat on his bones ....I dont want to worry about breaking him !

The wealth means shit to me too, stability yes but there is a big difference. I would take love over money any day ....as long as we are not living in a cardboard box ???

What are you going to do with money when you are miserable with the person you are with ? Not worth it to me , life is too short !

@Moppys_jalopy , not sure its the bag hanging from the mirror...I think its the sticker of the paddle on the bumper !

?

I hate to give you the realities of life, but men over 60 are invisible to women over 50 unless they are in excellent shape. Go on a diet.

Not all women over 50 are shallow.

The confidence of a man is certainly a key factor as is his demeanor, the way he holds himself, poise, sense of humor, intelligence, and of course phsycially attractive, is what will turn my head when I have a look at a man. Most times it is a man I see out in public or somewhere that will catch my eye and of course I may daydream or fantasize about having him and it is a fun fantasy. The men I fantasize about are usually my age or a little younger and are more in the column of 'What If?' The fantasy world ehanced by a ride on my Sybian or at the point of my vibrator against my clit while enjoying an enema. Great fun to think about and to get off to, but my reality is a lot better. 😉 🌹

My reality is that my men I have sex with are or have been men I know personally, and they are in their 50's or 60's. 🌹 They are witty, funny, thoughtful, considerate, and we both know they can have me or I can have them when and how we want. They don't look like Brad Pitt may be a little gray or thin in the hair department, not rich, but they do very well, have dad bods, maybe should pluck their eyebrows more than they do, or stand closer to a razor blade in the morning, but they are my friends those I have taken are with me because that is what we want. I wouldn't trade them for any studs I fantasize about or a Chip-n-Dale kind of guy.

That kind of relationship took time to build between us, the men I do, and before ZITY.BIZ I never acted on that outside of my marriage. With a man that is, there was Sarah, but she was another story. ; The guys I have wouldn't look twice at any woman who is over 50 and thinks that guys over 60 are invisible. They would probably consider those women as too stupid and too shallow and wouldn't have much use for them. As a matter of fact one guy that I would like to have has remarked that he knows of some women who are over 50 or even 40, must not have got the memo that their looks aren't what they used to be. That goes for some guys that I know, too.

Be confident NOT arrogant. My men are confident that when we are having sex, that the fireworks are preferred and we go for the home run, but sometimes just being in the ball park and touching all the bases is where it's at. 😉

Fantasy is one thing but my reality can't be beat. 😉 😃

As for girls liking bad boys, I didn't back then and I don't now. Moppy's right about confidence, though. I have always liked confident men. I often joke that I like good guys with an edge. I grew up as the daughter of a military combat flyer and his friends. All of them smart, good guys with an edge. I call them "Desert Island Guys". They are the guys who if you were stranded on a desert island with them, you know you'd be okay. They wouldn't be whining on the sand yelling and throwing a temper tantrum. They'd be right beside me looking for fresh water, helping to build a shelter, and scouting for food.

Smart confident men are HOT!!!!

Yeah I get that. I think a lot of girls do like bad boys but I never did. I was too young to be with my husband when I first spotted him but really I always knew that he was a good guy with an edge. He is really good looking but strong looking, not like a weedy male model or those types. He is really fit with nice muscles where men should have them, and what a nice tight bum. 😄 But I was right when I thought he was kind too, and very smart. I get what that means, good guy with an edge because that is what he is. I know I am very very lucky that he was single when I just became old enough to get him. I think he should be paid more but it is the sort of man he is that is important to me. 🌹

Yeah I get that. I think a lot of girls do like bad boys but I never did.

I don't think the guys had to be bad boys for girls to like them, just strong minded.

I don't think the guys had to be bad boys for girls to like them, just strong minded.

Yeah I think it is a bit of danger too with the bad boys that some girls like. They think it is more exciting. That is not for me though. I like strong minded but not bad.

I would say the most important thing is how you approach a woman, if you are an older man.

If someone, especially an older male, comes up and gets 'touchy' or just overly eager, I (and every single girl my age who I have spoken to) see you as a wrinkly old desperate man who is just desperate and quite pervy.

Not an attractive look.

It's better if you can dress well, in expensive clothes (trust me when I say that the girls who are interested in a man with money will know if it's expensive or not) and send over a drink (if the setting is appropriate). If not, smile from a distance and let her make the first move.

If she doesn't, take that and move on. She probably doesn't have a thing for older men, or possibly is already with someone, or a hundred other reasons.

Personally, I have dated people older than myself, but I don't like people buying me things like that. I am more than capable of being self-sufficient and successful, and I want to present that side of myself. Being a 'kept woman' is a dream for some, but does sound like a prison to me.

So this is based on what friends have told me, and how I personally like to be treated (don't just come up and fucking touch me, that's pretty universal).

When I was a kid I was naughty. In my teens and 20's I was perverse. When I got into my 40's and 50's I was a lecher. In my 60's I was a 'dirty old man".

Now, I'm just "cute".

BTW Susie - I'm 5'10 and 165 lbs and I work out 4 days/wk.

I think you have to show respect no matter what your age and older guys have been around long enough to know better. The guy has to let the relationship develop at the ladies pace no matter what the age. So showing a little respect and courtesy will get you a long ways. Well that and a 4 quart bag!!

I would say the most important thing is how you approach a woman, if you are an older man.

. . . . Being a 'kept woman' is a dream for some, but does sound like a prison to me.

So this is based on what friends have told me, and how I personally like to be treated (don't just come up and fucking touch me, that's pretty universal).

I am not a kept woman because I have a lot of responsibilities in the family and running the household, but I have to admit, I have been told and recognize that I come pretty close -- and I like it! I want for nothing and my husband and I love each other. It's definitely NOT a prison sentence.

I have to say I don't mind if someone I don't know gently taps me on the shoulder to get my attention if I am not looking directly at them, but I agree with you that a stranger better not wrap his arm around my waist. That could result in a slap in the face.

gwhap said

Now, I'm just "cute".

BTW Susie - I'm 5'10 and 165 lbs and I work out 4 days/wk.

I agree, you do sound like you look cute !

I am not a kept woman because I have a lot of responsibilities in the family and running the household, but I have to admit, I have been told and recognize that I come pretty close -- and I like it!

I think that if the family unit can't work without you, then you have a role that makes you not a 'kept woman'. Though you say you come close, as you said you are more than the 'receiver of gifts'.

If you're only job is to look good, smile and accompany someone to parties, then you're kept. It's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just not for me.

I have no desire to have kids, and the idea of not having a job drives me mad. That's just me though.

...gently taps me on the shoulder to get my attention if I am not looking directly at them, but I agree with you that a stranger better not wrap his arm around my waist...

I was unclear in my first reply, by touching I did mean the 'hand around waist' kind of touch. I've been picked up and carried off too! A great way to get me to grab you balls and squeeze...

I don't really have anything to add except something loosely (very loosely) related about the touching and shoulder tapping. I saw 2 amish people once, the woman couldn't talk until the man tapped her on the shoulder. Not from behind her to get her attention, but just touched her shoulder standing beside her. Not really a tap all the time, either. But once he touched her shoulder, she could say whatever.

It was kind of hot...

As I have aged I've grown more confident and take less and less shit from people. That wasn't the case 30 plus years ago.

Being a 'kept woman' is a dream for some, but does sound like a prison to me.

I've thought that some might consider that I'm a kept woman since I don't work outside of the home, haven't for over 25 years. But what all I do for this family can be more than a full time job with the house, animals, and garden in the summer.

In regards to flashy muscle cars and their "manly" male drivers. My sub and I had an encounter with one in his camero who felt my sub had cut him off (he followed us for over five miles to catch us when we stopped to confront us). I just couldn't put up with him puffing up his chest and chewing my sub out. I let him know his car was definitely making up for his manly short comings. He didn't like that and drove off in a huff.

I don't really have anything to add except something loosely (very loosely) related about the touching and shoulder tapping. I saw 2 amish people once, the woman couldn't talk until the man tapped her on the shoulder. Not from behind her to get her attention, but just touched her shoulder standing beside her. Not really a tap all the time, either. But once he touched her shoulder, she could say whatever.

It was kind of hot...

It was hot to see a woman who had to be given permission to be allowed to talk? Seriously? That's hot? I would say that is sick.

I wonder what you'd think if you were talking about Saudi women getting the same treatment from men (which I suspect they do). The indignation would be fiery hot. Rightly so too.

It was hot to see a woman who had to be given permission to be allowed to talk? Seriously? That's hot? I would say that is sick.

I wonder what you'd think if you were talking about Saudi women getting the same treatment from men (which I suspect they do). The indignation would be fiery hot. Rightly so too.

Hold on a minute there, Anita Sarkeesian. You're making an awfully big inference from five or six sentences and a fairly tongue-in-cheek comment at the end.

Look around. Where are we? A fetish forum? Is it that surprising, then, than someone posting to a community where men want to do all manner of things to women (and some women want to do all manner of things to men) would find a woman needing permission to speak "kinda hot"? Of course that is play and the example I originally posted was reality, but much of fantasy is rooted in real-life experiences.

And if you wonder what I'd think about something, just ask me. I do check the forum periodically, you know. Don't just go making up some wild reaction I'd have to this or that. In general, I don't know what kind of treatment Saudi women get from their husbands. No clue what the average marriage is like. To have an answer to that I'd have to have a lot better understanding of Saudi ideals from consent to culture to religion and tradition. I don't think it's fair for me (or you) to project our own ideals on them.

Yes, there are a lot of examples of what would be considered a gross violation of human rights in Saudi Arabia, or any number of Muslim countries, and my comments above don't excuse everything that goes on as their culture. But there are a lot of gross violations of human rights here in America, too. All over the world. In Africa, across Europe. Why are you singling out the Saudis? If I wanted to take the same liberties with you that you took with me, I could make the jump to racism. I'm not going to do that because I don't think that's fair, or how you meant it, but you did it to me.

I could go on for five pages, but I think this is enough to make my point without derailing the thread too much.

@matt83 And if you wonder what I'd think about something, just ask me. I do check the forum periodically, you know. Don't just go making up some wild reaction I'd have to this or that.

Sounds fair - 😕 and just to keep things in perspective,

Look around. Where are we? A fetish forum?

That is sure enough true - and I see regular folks talking about and doing things others do but do not even admit to themselves. So maybe - if I have a question as to how you meant that or in what context, I'll ask. Because this is a fetish site - aside from what you wrote, how did you mean that? I think I get the gist - from what you wrote.

@Lora_C

There's no hidden meaning. I was implying that what is said here has, to a degree, be taken within the context of where we are. So if I say an Amish guy touching his wife on her shoulder before she speaks is kind of hot here, where people post about punishing women for whatever reason, it is a tad different than if I had made the same or similar comments on a place like /r/twoXchromosomes or /r/feminism. Making the comment there, knowing the mindset and opinion of the members would serve no other purpose than to belittle or disparage them or at the very least stir them up. But posting it here, where people freely talk about spanking unruly girls or play sessions include giving them a good smack with a strap for not responding properly--I don't feel like it is the same.

OK! I am now again single and am now on the meat market again Not yet, but you never know.

Our first date?? First do not try to impress me with how important you are nor how much you are worth. Don't tell me how much you paid for your car, what club you belong to or that you own a condo in South Florida.

Be real, take me to Taco Bell the first date, buy me tacos and a drink. If Taco Bell is out of your league, I can eat a nice steakhouse also. Just talk. Show me you grandchildren, I will show you mine. Take me for a walk downtown, hold my hand, get to know me as I would like to know you.

I have no interest in your first wife, nor you second, or maybe third. No I will not go to bed with you tonight, I may in time, I may never.

Earn my trust, earn my love and we may built a life together. If not I will move on and try again.

Be real, take me to Taco Bell the first date, buy me tacos and a drink.

Please, no. Not Taco Bell.

I wouldn't take myself to Taco Bell. Starbucks, yes, Panera Bread, yes, TGI Fridays, yes, Taco Bell, no.

You don't need to spend a lot and going dutch is fine too. My daughters always either split the bill or alternate paying. There is no reason for one person (almost always the man) to always be the payer. Sometimes I pay when we go out and my husband tells the waiter he's a kept man!

Susie, I like Taco Bell. Give me 5 tacos, extreme sauce and a drink and I am happy. Now if he wants to upgrade to Panera Bread, well I can be won over..

Plus I got money and do not mind paying. KInda fun to see the look on their faces.

Plus I got money and do not mind paying. KInda fun to see the look on their faces.

I did this recently and got a shocked look, blank stare, and after a moment the exclamation "But I'm the man!"

I promise you, if you need to point out that 'you're the man', then you are not the man. Age plays no part in it.

Plus I got money and do not mind paying. . . .

When the woman offers to pay--and actually DOES pay-- all the man has to do is say a gracious "thank you". Unfortunately, this is usually an offer with no follow through or actual intent to pay. Sorry girls, but it's true. When we were teenagers and before we were married, we usually alternated paying for our dates because it was easier than dividing the checks, using two credit cards, etc. In a real relationship with equal responsibilities where both parties can afford to do what they are doing--dinners, vacations, etc., splitting the bill is the right thing to do. Why should the man pay for everything. The woman should have some dignity, be an honorable person and pay her share.

In a real relationship with equal responsibilities where both parties can afford to do what they are doing--dinners, vacations, etc., splitting the bill is the right thing to do.

Or you could play credit card roulette if you like suspense and have a competitive nature.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m1eBLB8ens

We have joint checking, savings, and credit cards. So we essentially split the bill no matter who hands the credit card to the waiter, and I have no issue with my wife doing it.

We have joint checking, savings, and credit cards. So we essentially split the bill no matter who hands the credit card to the waiter, and I have no issue with my wife doing it.

No, you don't split the bill. You are just taking the money from the same pot.

You only split the bill if both of you bring in the same income to feed the pot.

No, you don't split the bill. You are just taking the money from the same pot. You only split the bill if both of you bring in the same income to feed the pot.

We both contribute to the pot - granted I more than her. Would it be fair to say we split the bill proportional to our incomes??

You're a stickler for accuracy!! (smiling emoji if I knew how to insert one)

Would it be fair to say we split the bill proportional to our incomes??

Yes.

We have joint checking, savings, and credit cards.

You're an idiot.