This is a thought-provoking topic and like many other topics, I'd like to share my observations.
My mom and dad were quite wealthy. It didn't make either of them terribly attractive and it certainly didn't make them happy. I love my dad dearly and miss him every day, but he was not a happy man and I think that caused him to die earlier than he otherwise would have. My mother is a widow, and although she rarely cracks a smile, I think she's really blossomed since my dad passed. Sometimes I wonder what they would have been like if they had been with people that they actually LIKED.
Until just recently, I haven't spent much time with men that were truly wealthy. I've spent time with guys that were hardworking, honest, and dirt poor. I spent five years with a guy that was a superior con artist and sociopath, I terminated my relationship with him after he frittered away $10K of my money. I'll take the hardworking, honest ones any day of the week.
The man that I currently spend time with is extremely well-off by my standards. He's worked hard and built a solid professional reputation. Because of his work, he's able to travel, take nice vacations, drive nice cars, have nice toys and live in a beautiful home 40 miles from a major metropolitan area. He's no Bill Gates financially speaking, and he's no movie star in the looks department, even though I think he's stunning. Basically, he's able to enjoy himself when he wants to and doesn't have to worry about how to pay for it.
To be honest with you, I rarely think about that for a number of different reasons. It's not his lifestyle that I love, or his money. It's his imagination and the way that he makes me feel that turns my key. The fact that we share the same kinky tendencies is a super-bonus. If I were to meet the same man and he lived like a pauper, that would be fine with me too.
Elf, I guess the answer to your question is that it depends on the woman involved. Heaven knows, there are plenty of gold-diggers and trophy wives (or girlfriends) out there. And I'll admit, there is an instinct to find a good provider. For some of us though, our instinct is just as strong to provide for ourselves and be independent. I could spend several hours a day turning myself into a tidbit of arm candy, and I'm more than happy to do so for "my guy", but really, I have other priorities and that's just not who I am.
At the end of the day, I think it all depends on the chemistry between two people and the signals they send out to one another. For all the gold-digging women out there, there are just as many guys sending out the signals that attract them.
Just stirring the pot a little more!