Age and attraction.

Being married to someone 25 years older than me, I can tell you exactly what got me losing my mind over this person.

First of all I have always been more mature than guys around my age and I've ways felt that all they wanted was just fun and that wasn't me.

I love smart conversations, people that are successful, knowledgeable, funny and charming. All these attributes I've found in the man that is now my husband. Oh yes, and he's handsome too. Everyone says he looks 10 years younger, and probably because of he works out every single day and he's the most positive person I've ever ran across in my life and turned my life around 180 in a good way.

I love when women flirt with him and I feel that it makes him that much more attractive in my eyes. Being desired by many others but at the end of the day, being with me.

We've been together 7 years now and I feel we are a match made in heaven. He's my Prince Charming in that white horse and I'm glad I've got to live my fairy tale.

Wish love to all of you!

I have always liked older men,and it has nothing to do with money or no money.

In my 20s I liked the 40 year olds,

Now I am in my 40s I like men in their 60s,

What I will do when I am 80, I have no Idea, lol.

Spend the money i left you in my will ?

LOL Sirwilliam.

Great come back,

I've always had a thing for guys my age and older guys but guys who were a little bit older than me but not too old and what I like about them is that some of them are more mature than younger guys, I've had better luck with guys who are older than me, to me it's not about the money it's the maturity level

There is a saying (a very cruel one) which says that a man is as old as he feels, and a woman is as old as she looks! Unfortunately, these cliche's have a true ring about them. Attraction is a funny thing - it works mostly different for men and women, and all of it is seated in our under-the-surface, biological (animal) instincts, which most of us hopelessly underestimate.

For men, the deal-breakers when it comes to attraction in a relationship is affection (touch, sex, playfulness), loyalty (he feels she is on his side, supportive) and respect (she has a high opinion of him). Any problem with one or more of these, and he feels unloved, not cared for, his attraction for the woman wanes and some will then go on to find it elsewhere. Although a woman might also have regard for these qualities, it ain't the deal-breakers for them in as far as attraction to a man is concerned. According to the "experts", the deal-breakers for women mostly are when a man is not "strong" in the sense that she doesn't really look up to him (a wimp, weakling), and - here is no surprise - he is not a good enough provider. So it would seem that wealth is a very strong contributor to the attraction factor for men in the eyes of women.

Women go into marriage for the marriage. She wants the lifestyle, the house, the kids, and the guy - she is after the whole package. Men, however, go into marriage for the woman. Of course there are exceptions - but this is generally the rule. Attraction, it would seem, is a more complex issue than what most of us think.

I worked with a woman a lot younger than me,we got married and were on even plain for yrs.Then some medical problems came my way had to go back into diapers to keep everything dry per my wife.Our roles reversed she became more dominate and have lost my male ego we do about everything [her] way she sometimes puts me in my place.

All one need do is look around and people watch. It is extremely rare to find an attractive younger man with an unattractive older woman. Even wealthy older, unattractive women rarely have an attractive younger man.

On the other hand, it is quite common to see an attractive younger woman with an unattractive older man, as long as he is wealthy. In fact it is so common it is a cliché. However, it is rare to see an attractive younger woman with an unattractive older man if he is poor or otherwise doesn't have much money.

Like other posters have said, it is biology. It may sound sexist but it is still true that women tend to be more attracted to men with money, even if they are much older and aren't very attractive. Money equals resources for humans, and resources means a woman's offspring have a better chance for survival.

Men, on the other hand, tend to be attracted to younger, attractive women. A younger, attractive woman tends to signal to a man that she has good health and good genes to provide good, healthy offspring for him. Men historically have been the providers. A much older woman, even if she is fairly attractive and wealthy, are not so appealing to younger men because she is past child bearing years, and men usually don't look to women as providers.

There are numerous studies that I have read about this topic that concur with what I wrote. Of course these are all generalizations. There are young men with older women, and young women with older men that aren't wealthy.

When I was younger, I was always attracted to older men and it had nothing to do with money (If you knew my ex, you'd know that!). I found older men more attractive and far more mature than men my age. Now that I am older, I am still attracted to guys in the age bracket I liked back then.

I agree with rabidbiker it is genetically programmed into us. Just as he said men look for a healthy younger woman to bear their offspring while women are looking for a man who is capable of supplying the best for their offspring. Young men are generally not rich nor are they very stable which brings me to the question: Why did all the sexiest girls in high school gravitate toward the bad boys who treated them like shit and usually wouldn't even speak to the guys who would have treated them like something special? As I have reached old age I find it wasn't just my observation. I hang with other old farts who were not in school with me who noticed the same thing where they went to school.

The older I get, the more attracted I am to older women, and the less I care for the 20- and 30-somethings. I think I assume older women will be more mature, and more compatible with me.

On the other hand, that doesn't mean I don't look at the young hotties, just for visual fulfillment. I doubt I would pursue any serious relationship with one, though...

Why did all the sexiest girls in high school gravitate toward the bad boys who treated them like shit and usually wouldn't even speak to the guys who would have treated them like something special? As I have reached old age I find it wasn't just my observation. I hang with other old farts who were not in school with me who noticed the same thing where they went to school.

I totally agree! I remember way back when I was in high school, even into my early twenties, that the girls my age always went with the assholes that treated them like dirt. I was always the nice guy, and those same girls either wouldn't give me the time of day, or would place me in that dreaded "friend" category! Thankfully as I got into my mid twenties, that really didn't happen anymore. I think most of the young women had learned to stay away from the assholes by then, and I had no problem finding women to date.

Unfortunately, all one needs to do is observe people in public and still see plenty of couples where the guy is a total jerk to his girlfriend in front of everyone. I can only imagine how terribly the woman is treated in the privacy of their own home when she is berated in public like that.

roscoe said

Why did all the sexiest girls in high school gravitate toward the bad boys who treated them like shit and usually wouldn't even speak to the guys who would have treated them like something special? . . . .

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rabidbiker said

I totally agree! I remember way back when I was in high school, even into my early twenties, that the girls my age always went with the assholes that treated them like dirt. I was always the nice guy, and those same girls either wouldn't give me the time of day, or would place me in that dreaded "friend" category! . . . . Unfortunately, all one needs to do is observe people in public and still see plenty of couples where the guy is a total jerk to his girlfriend in front of everyone. I can only imagine how terribly the woman is treated in the privacy of their own home when she is berated in public like that.

I'll tell you why girls gravitated to them. It boils down to confidence.

The nice guys came across as nice, well mannered guys. Many girls wanted guys who were confident, macho and wanted things their way.

The wilder girls often did the same thing. Not so much treating guys like dirt, but also being somewhat, yet tolerably demanding--and also giving them some of what they wanted—sex, to get what we wanted in return—also sex. Many girls also liked the gifts, dinner and movie dates and other outings as well as having something to gossip about with their girlfriends at school. The trick for the girls was to find the right balance for the particular guy they were going with so they were seen as attractive and not as a bitchy pain in the ass.

My variation was to make demands on the guy AFTER we were undressed that "they couldn't refuse," like oralling me to orgasms and my dildo butt-fucking them BEFORE I would allow them to have intercourse with me “so they could relate to what penetration felt like.” At least that was the excuse I used to butt fuck them. 😁 A lot of high school guys wanted to GET oral sex, but were not emotionally ready to GIVE oral sex, but if they wanted to fuck me, they had to oral me. In my case, the dildo butt-fucking was the clincher for maintaining their silence about our affairs. The macho guys who I wanted to fuck and who wanted to fuck me didn't want anyone to know they were butt-fucked, so their silence and my good and wholesome reputation was maintained.

Unfortunately for the boys and girls (men and women) we have to wait for the right person to come along at the right time. It’s easy to be girlfriend and boyfriend. Those relationships in high school and college can be seen as rehearsals for adulthood and they have no consequences. It is harder to find a friend for life, and what you think you want as a youngster isn’t necessarily what you want or need as an adult who has experienced more of life.

And finally, yes, I did make my husband, then boyfriend go through all the same initiation practices as my other boyfriends when we were 17 years old, except we were already good friends since fifth or sixth grade and knew we really liked and wouldn’t hurt each other.

Age seems to settle that score though. I went to a 3 years combined 50 year class reunion 10 years ago. Upon walking in the door the sign up table was right there so my wife and I were stopped there getting signed in when 3 girls came running up out of the masses already seated in the room to greet and hug me. One of them was a cute girl I called several times attempting to get a date in high school. She came to the phone the first time I called but refused to even come to the phone on subsequent calls. The other 2 were those clique types whose shit didn't stink. I never got as far as calling them because they lived in the stratosphere. Mostly they rode around in the new Chevy convertible one of them was given by her father. I found that quite interesting. Three girls I only saw from afar in school were the only ones who greeted me at the reunion. Possibly it had something to do with the fact that the bad boys they hung with are all DEAD and I'm NOT. This year the 60th reunion was more like a gathering at a local restaurant in the dining room. Again I sat and talked with girls and some guys who never spoke to me in school and several girls came by the table to say "hi" to me. I can't wait to get in the nursing home with all those wonderful girls.

I think Susie is right. It is a matter of confidence. When I was in high school I had no confidence and I got none. After being in business for 40 years and learning how to speak in public to groups of various sizes I had lots of confidence. I noticed at my reunions as well that I had many girls coming up to me. I hope I can retain this knowledge for my next life, and a nice anal enema girl is going to be first on my list!!

I agree confidence is key, but I disagree that you have to be a alpha male to get women. I always think of the line from a song which states “if you want me take me for what I’m worth”. With that, I don’t have to be a dick to women and just be myself and let the chips fall where they may regarding attraction.

Interesting how priorities in what is attractive in a potential mate shift as one ages. I am a "rapidly approaching 60 yr old F" and I think back to various ages in my life and what SEEMED important in the guy I could commit to long term. At 16 looks and flash were all that mattered. (Ideally, he would own a hot car too.) By 26 the attraction was to a man who was headed somewhere with his life and good looking wouldn't hurt at all either! 36 came on me and I was looking for agreeable companionship through this journey of life. Looks and flash had taken a back seat to a more realistic view of a man with a personality and character I could see myself settled happily with. Finally married by age 46 when I found that man, it was not the stuff of 16 yr old harlequin romance dreams but a stable personality-attractive man with whom I could build the rest of life together. Now on the downhill side of 56 we've had a great more than few years of doing that and I am SO glad I did not get what I thought I wanted in my younger foolish years. We have given up on living a rich life but rich is not always found in money I've learned. He does not share kinks with me so I hang out here sometimes, but I will happily forgive him that one small weakness because there is much beyond kinks to keep me connected to this attraction that seems to keep growing in me for him. I sometimes wonder if those money preoccupied females looking at a 60 yr old rich guy haven't matured somewhere beyond the 16-26 yr old maturity level yet. I also wonder if a 60 yr old male who is willing to settle for the trophy look F on his arm has not matured far beyond the 16 yrs old male mindset either. I think this growing up as you get older is called real life maturity.

It seemed there were certain cars that were babe magnets. The '55 & '56 Ford Crown Victorias were in, along with the Thunderbirds before someone at the factory thought a back seat would be nice. Impala convertibles. Girls liked the Chrysler 300B but not for the same reason as the guys.

Girls were strange critters too. Where I was no one ever locked their cars or closed the windows on a hot day when parking in front of the stores in town. I had a crappy old 48 Dodge sedan that was so rusty I had a 2x4 under my side of the front seat to hold it up over the hole in the floor. Often I would find a bunch of girls in it when I came back to it. They always wanted a ride to the beach. One was the town manager's daughter who was a really cute girl, think Annette Funichello. I took them to the beach a couple times but when I found those excursions never got me any dates I ended that waste of my money and gas. I did invite another girl to come with us to the beach with two other guys and girls. That resulted in me dating her until Summer began when she and her 5 sisters and mother moved to her fathers camp on a lake for the summer. I went up there a couple times on the weekend to take her out but she soon found a boy at the lake who could be there every day so she ended it. When school started in the Fall we were still friends but never resumed dating. However her next youngest sister hated me as if I had done something horrible to her sister when it she who found another guy. Even now, 60 years later she won't contact me. About 6 months ago someone from our class who knows her asked if it was OK if she gave her my email address because she was trying to get some information about the town today and I still live in town. I never heard from her. She showed up on Classmates asking about things I know so I offered to help her and she never replied. So I think she still hates me for what I didn't do to her sister in high school.

I did have some fun with girls I knew but didn't date. One girl was the sister of a police sergeant I knew. She used to call me to go to a drive-in movie now and then. "I've got a dollar for gas if you'll take me". She brought another cute redhead along and we got her in free because the ticket seller thought she was our daughter. After I dropped her at home I often found her brother sitting in his cruiser which resulted in us drag racing up the main street. I always let him beat me. I wouldn't want him knowing my car could outrun his cruiser. I used to take the police chief's daughter to that drive-in once in a while. They used to set up road blocks on Saturday nights coming into town to check licenses, registrations, inspection stickers, drunks and look for blue dot tail lights which were illegal. We'd be in the line when one of the cops walked back telling people to get out the papers they wanted to see. When he got to my car he saw the chief's daughter and motioned us through.

On a personal level my dating was quite unsatisfactory so I took to building dragsters instead.

I never really had an attraction to an older man. I not in any way. Perhaps it was because most of the older people I was around was down at the American Legion.I got dragged off down there all the time by my mom (since I was four, lol). She and my aunts and uncles (there were four sisters and two of their husbands) always liked to go, especially on Friday nights. But since it was a bar, a lot of the older people in there were drunk. I didn't like being around the drunks and I learned to stay away and I stayed with my mom or other people that I knew well.

I always thought I wanted to be with a guy that was closer to my age, within about 10 years, and I wanted someone older than me.

I am with a guy that I love very much. Even though it's a long distance relationship, @BKuggs is the best guy I have ever been with! He even shares the kinky stuff, which is awesome! Money isn't what I care most about. It's not an "attraction" to me.I just want to be with someone that loves me for who I am and treats me good.

Very nicely said @anng

I discovered early that it is pretty easy to go out with a person. How can you not have a good time? You generally go or do something interesting, have a nice meal etc etc. If you could do that every night of your life it seems it would be pretty easy to find a mate.

However like .002% of life is that. It is more like hanging out, cooling, enjoying and furthering each others goals and ambitions. That is much rarer.

This is funny. I had a job for a time that paid crazy well. Too well to voluntarily leave, but I hated the place with a passion. I spoke with my boss about quitting on more than one occasion and he always chuckled and said ask your wife what she thinks about that. I got the last laugh on that one. She had been begging me to quit. She saw what it was doing to me and would prefer me to be happy than wealthy.

My husband is 20 years older that me. he is very caring and charming and loves to joke. he is a great cook. He had custody of his son and they way he treated him impressed me. we started dating and the 3 of us got alone great. 6 months later engaged and we are celebrating out 25th anniversary in may. We are very happy.

As I slowly, but surely, approach the age of 50, I look around and see things are happening and they are not all that good. My husband is 51, in good health, the mind I often question at times but then he puts up with me. I always tell him to grow old with me, the best is yet to come. He thinks I am full of bull.

Should something happen where do I go?? I do not want an older man, I want an younger man to take care of me. Someone maybe 10 to 15 years younger where I can be his Mrs Robinson. Surely I will find him ways to keep amused as we go older together and he will never even know it

Tillie, there are many young men out there that would love to have you as their Mrs Robinson!

I’m thinking, “oh to be 35 again, with a Hot 50ish Lady who understands my kinks as well as I understand hers!”

Why do older wealthy men look more attractive to younger women then poor ones?

The answer?

They don't!

Older wealthy men only look attractive to some women.

Smart women want a good man who they can love and adore and loves and adores them back. Do we want them to be able to support themselves? Yes. Do we want them to be able to support a family down the road? Yes, we do. Do we want to also work to help build a nest egg faster and have nicer things. Yes, a pretty big number of us do. Smart women want a partnership, lazy women do not. Look for a smart woman.

Yes, they are women who just want a rich man, but I'm betting that most of the later find the cost was far higher than they thought.

As for girls liking bad boys, I didn't back then and I don't now. Moppy's right about confidence, though. I have always liked confident men. I often joke that I like good guys with an edge. I grew up as the daughter of a military combat flyer and his friends. All of them smart, good guys with an edge. I call them "Desert Island Guys". They are the guys who if you were stranded on a desert island with them, you know you'd be okay. They wouldn't be whining on the sand yelling and throwing a temper tantrum. They'd be right beside me looking for fresh water, helping to build a shelter, and scouting for food.

Smart confident men are HOT!!!!

@SwitchableSusie, @Moppys_jalopy, and @sweetkissestoo are absolutely correct about confidence.

I had no confidence with the young ladies that I liked while in school. In fact, I had only two dates while in high school and the first one was a complete disaster. I mean, you know your date is not really interested in being with you when she wants to go to the mall before the movie, and you find out it's just so she can talk with all the guys that work at different stores there.

By the time I graduated high school, I was beginning to gain a little confidence, but we moved to another state within a weeks time.

I got to our new home, started attending trade school, and started working part time in retail. That's when it happened!

I was working along side beautiful young ladies. Some in high school still, some in college. One cute little blond caught my eye, so I finally got up enough nerve to ask her to go out on a date. To my surprise, she said yes!

We actually never did go out, but just her saying yes gave me a confidence boost that started growing fast! Like a snowball, getting bigger, as it rolls down a snow covered mountain side.

I was always a bit of a cut up and clown, but I began using it in a very flirtatious way with the young ladies I was working with.

That's when I learned the secret that I later called "People Want What They Can't Have". I made sure that any young lady that I was interested in, saw me having fun with other guys and GALS. However, I didn't give them the time of day. I would be friendly with them, but was always keeping them on the fringe, so to speak.

By the time I would ask them out, many actually said, "I thought you would never ask!"

During this time I started developing some what of the "Bad Boy" reputation, but it was not actually who I was at all. Other people were labeling me with this rep, just because they saw me dating many different young ladies. I just let them think what they wanted and was enjoying the dating scene like I never thought possible.

I became very confident in who I was and in talking and interacting with people. Especially the ladies!

So I have to agree that it's confidence, not age, that attracts.

Fn

I'm older and pretty well off financially... but I don't have any younger women attacking or propositioning me. Am I doing something wrong??

I'm older and pretty well off financially... but I don't have any younger women attacking or propositioning me. Am I doing something wrong??

When you are having coffee and "minding your own business" when there are some ladies around, just casually use your tongue to slick down your eyebrows. 😉 That will get their attention.

@Cedar

When you are having coffee and "minding your own business" when there are some ladies around, just casually use your tongue to slick down your eyebrows. 😉 That will get their attention.

LMAO!!!

I hate to give you the realities of life, but men over 60 are invisible to women under 50.

If they are in excellent shape they can get women somewhat younger.

Go on a diet.

I think it must be the 500HP muscle car that does it. The older guy Phallic symbol. That and the enema bag hanging from the mirror.