Spouses Who Tolerate Our Enema Passion

Silicone lube doesn't go sticky, and coconut oil is a "covert lube" that has alternate uses. You could try starting with a straight massage and move it into a coconut oil fueled erotic massage, maybe. Go slow and ask.

@Czorro said

SS, Good idea. a bit of background as to why not.

My wife doesn't like sticky anything. Lube to her is sticky and so she doesn't care for it at all. Yes I have tried to use some in years past, she was not very happy about it.

OK, so DRY to her is better than other options? That allows her to say no to you and withhold sex. THAT is what she is doing and you can't even be sure she isn't LYING TO YOU about the real reason.

You probably haven't used good lubes and your wife is definitely extremely stubborn.

If she tried to have sex, she might actually have a good time.

I'm just calling them as I see them.

@moliere said

Silicone lube doesn't go sticky, and coconut oil is a "covert lube" that has alternate uses. You could try starting with a straight massage and move it into a coconut oil fueled erotic massage, maybe. Go slow and ask.

While silicone won't dry or get sticky it doesn't feel like pussy juice and coconut oil flat out sucks as a lubricant for anything. There is NOTHING good about coconut oil especially if it is cool and you have to melt it first. Coconut oil simply is NOT lubricious. NO OIL feels as smooth and slippery as a water based lube SKIN ON SKIN.

A good, fairly thin water based lube that might require re-application feels MUCH more like real pussy juice.

PROBE SILKY LIGHT and SLIPPERY STUFF mimic real pussy juice extremely well and LIQUID SILK and SPUNK are excellent water based silicone hybrids that last a long time before re-application is needed. EVERYTHING eventually requires re-application.

Don't be afraid to use it liberally. Healthy, REAL pussy juice is thin and VERY slippery. One thing that always bugs me in porno flicks is that on the close up shots, the penis and vulva almost ALWAYS look dry. I hate that sensation. You never see a shiny, glistening and wet dick and pussy.

Admittedly, I like to fuck when it's soaking wet and many women I know like it that way too.

I like the thick Probe up my butt, especially as it doesn't burn the way some lubes do.

Never actually used coconut oil for sex, but it makes a great massage oil as most of the year if you accidentally knock the container over it doesn't go all over the place.

Silicone is also difficult to clean up after.

The problem is, as Susie said, finding out if it is truly just solving this one problem or if she'll just come up with another reason why it's not going to work. However there are people who get very uncomfortable with anything strictly sexual, and lets face it - for all the crap they put on some of those lube bottles we all know what it really is used for. Surprises me how few companies have the balls to put that you can use it for anal pleasure on their lubes.

The "THICK AND RICH PROBE" does get sticky and dries out faster.

The silky light is a better lube even though on your skin they almost feel like the same viscosity, but the make-up of the lube is different.

BTW, I greatly prefer the light and silky version up my ass over the thick and rich version.

Cheryl77177 said:

I have read numerous times that the urge to have sex is physical (that is why God made male and female), but enjoying it is mostly mental. I think enjoying enemas is also mostly mental. Some of us get past the temporary discomfort of a full belly, and the noisy, smelly result to enjoy the feeling of well-being that follows a good enema. Most people, including many of our partners, can't get past the few minutes of discomfort or embarrassment to get to the good part.

I'm a switch who enjoys being sub for an enema from my switch Domme ex. So it's both physical (insertion, inflation, filling, pumping, retention, distention pressure) and mental (submission, embarrassment, humiliation) for me. And both our vocalizations, me moaning and complaining, her frequently narrating my enema with how much she enjoys and gets aroused doing it to me and what is coming next. All combined a very sexual and satisfying time for both of us. And we were both switches, so sometimes we had the joy of reversing roles and experiencing the other's feelings and sensations. Now being solo, I often take enemas running a similar fantasy Domme in my head during the enema to intensify and accentuate the submission feelings along with the real enema.

Eric

............The problem is, as Susie said, finding out if it is truly just solving this one problem or if she'll just come up with another reason why it's not going to work. However there are people who get very uncomfortable with anything strictly sexual, and lets face it - for all the crap they put on some of those lube bottles we all know what it really is used for. Surprises me how few companies have the balls to put that you can use it for anal pleasure on their lubes.

CZorro,

Did your wife have any history of withholding sex any other time? Had you ever used lubrication before without her objecting to it? I've never heard of or met anyone who objected to using any and all lubes. I rather enjoy using them anally.

Eric

I've never heard of or met anyone who objected to using any and all lubes. I rather enjoy using them anally.

My wife is not a lube fan. She even voiced a preference that I leave the lube firmly hidden in the bedside drawer when I was trying to use it in conjunction with condoms. She's said "no" on times when things were so dry that it has been uncomfortable for me at initial insertion, so I don't know what she was feeling - but I doubt it was good. When she plays with my ass it's dry fingers, but I haven't had the guts to say anything because I'm worried she'll just stop rather than use the lube.

Sigh.

I don't expect y'all to solve my no sex problem with my wife. It ain't gonna happen in anyone's lifetime. We had a fairly active sex life. She has never ever said no sex to me. She usually enjoyed sex most of the time. Since she now says she has no desire to have sex, she said it hurts and that she is dry, but as I said doesn't care to use lube there is not reason to push it or change her mind.

She doesn't like sticky on her hands or her body. When we used lube early on in our marriage, she would go to the shower and take the shower head and wash herself off to get rid of any lube in and around her pussy. I always tried to use the least amount of lube possible. So there is nothing that can be done.

I am grateful for the sex we had. I have even had sex with other women while married to her, she didn't care, at times I think she was glad that some other woman was "taking care of me" so that she didn't have to. That is what I think, I don't plan to ask her about it. I know that I had some wonderful sex with other women. In fact there have been times that I wish I hadn't gotten married because some of the other women were much better lovers.

She knew that I gave myself enemas when we got married, I don't believe she knew how often I did it. I enjoyed them a lot and many times I hung my enema bags up in the bathroom to dry and then put them in the closet once they were dry. So she knew that I had given myself and enema.

I realize that I am in the twilight of my life, that my living for 10 more years probably won't happen, it might, and then I will be still giving myself an enema then also.

So for now, I will give myself enemas, enjoy the water flowing in and out of me, play with catheters in me to help me or keep me from peeing my pants due to my overactive bladder. All the drugs I have tried so far have been terrible. Either I wake up very thirsty, I have a constant headache, a back ache that never goes away and on occasion, dizzy. So after trying three different drugs to treat overactive bladder, I said that is it. no more. I can buy catheters on the net, I told my Dr. that I was going to try using them to see what would happen. So far it is working, far better than having a constant head, back ache or dizzy as I get up from a chair or bed or rise up after using the toilet. I have an appointment to see my Dr. in about a month.

So that is the way it is. Those of you who have spouses who will tolerate your fetish or whatever you want to call it, be glad and happy. My wife tolerates my enema use, I can masturbate in front of her, fill myself with her in the same room. There are times she will even hug me and kiss me while I am filling myself up. I am not lubed up and playing with myself then, but she doesn't seem to mind me enjoying my enemas. She won't help me by giving me one, she just says go ahead and enjoy. Sex was fun while it lasted.

None of us are your wife so none of us know why she isn't interested in sex. To guess is to probably make incorrect assumptions.

Until someone is in this situation, with changed or lacking sex, you have no real way to give criticism. It isn't as easy as some are making it out to be. Age, medical issues, and side affects of medication can cause lack of interest, lack of ability to perform - erection or dryness, and a combination of both.

It is frustrating and at times a bit disappointing. To place so much blame on one partner will not improve the situation. It might just make them dig their heels in and have no interest in finding any way to improve things.

I've said this before, I do not wish this on anyone. All it takes is a medical crisis/issue and you could lose your active sex life in a second. Then let us hear your opinion on who is at fault for your lack of sexual interest.

Czorro work with your wife and see what the two of you can do to be close, to be "intimate". I think you are a lucky man to be able to have your enemas to enjoy still.

Being an enthusiastic enema practictioner both giving and receiving, I think several of us were trying to both discover more information about as well as to make suggestions to be helpful to CZorro about his situation. However, I think MissStress is quite accurate and "Mr. & Mrs. CZorro" will need to resolve or at least better communicate with each other about their sex+/-kink life together. My best wishes to you both for your continued marriage.

All the best,

Eric

Even though its not his thing he let me give him a enema on our first date because he knew I enjoyed giving enemas. After that I couldnt let him slip away.😃

Sounds, perhaps strange to some on this site, but I have absolutely no wish to have my beautiful blonde lady have anything to do with my enema thing. She knows exactly what I do, bag and nozzles aren't hidden and she tells me to "enjoy your colonic" when I go for my session with Sue. Uuumm??

Oh and after several year's, actually decades, of ED sex has never been so good.

Yes, my spouse has no problem with my love of enemas; but this is my third try, since my first wife thought I was pervert to like enemas, and then the gal I dated after that marriage when kaput was lukewarm, but third is the charm.

I'm in a bit of an interesting situation on this topic. My wife is a professional Domme that is a former nurse. One of her specialties is giving enemas. However, she does not see me in that Domme/sub or kinky way. She's given me enemas, but it is obvious she is not into doing so, which ruins the "mood" for me. I want her to enjoy giving to me. I didn't understand it until she was talking about one of her clients and how she was helping him "find someone." She mentioned that he didn't want someone "kinky" as he didn't see someone like that as the mother of his kids. That's when I realized that was how my wife viewed me. So I either do things solo or I see other Dommes with her blessing.

I'm in a bit of an interesting situation on this topic. My wife is a professional Domme that is a former nurse. One of her specialties is giving enemas. However, she does not see me in that Domme/sub or kinky way. She's given me enemas, but it is obvious she is not into doing so, which ruins the "mood" for me. I want her to enjoy giving to me. I didn't understand it until she was talking about one of her clients and how she was helping him "find someone." She mentioned that he didn't want someone "kinky" as he didn't see someone like that as the mother of his kids. That's when I realized that was how my wife viewed me. So I either do things solo or I see other Dommes with her blessing.

Not a criticism, just asking - so she told you she's unable or unwilling to see you as an erotic enema or submissive or otherwise kinky partner so you could enjoy her giving you enemas as a Domme? Because of your children or some other reason? She'd be happier with you going to get enemas from another Domme? Do you otherwise have a mutually enjoyable (vanilla?) sex life with her? Very interesting dynamic.

Thanks,

Eric

My wife has been giving me enemas for 50 years. I don't get them from her as much as I would like but I do like receiving them from her. When she is not around I seem to get a little more kinky when I do enemas by myself. She is going to give me 2, 2 quart enemas tonight. She would rather give me to 2 quart enemas rather than a 4-quart enema what's a 10 in nozzle. I guess she doesn't like to stick that 10 inch nozzle all the way up my ass. So, I will let her do her thing and take 4 quarts with two different bags and two different nozzles. I'll take what I can get and it will be good. I wish you were here.

My wife has been giving me enemas for 50 years. I don't get them from her as much as I would like but I do like receiving them from her. When she is not around I seem to get a little more kinky when I do enemas by myself. She is going to give me 2, 2 quart enemas tonight. She would rather give me to 2 quart enemas rather than a 4-quart enema what's a 10 in nozzle. I guess she doesn't like to stick that 10 inch nozzle all the way up my ass. So, I will let her do her thing and take 4 quarts with two different bags and two different nozzles. I'll take what I can get and it will be good. I wish you were here.

Glad you can at least get the 4 quarts with two bags and nozzles. Do you need a 4 quart bag? Smaller nozzle? Did she specifically tell you why she won't give you 4 quarts at once?

You wish who was here?

Eric

I never met anyone who wanted a "relationship" who was into the same kinks as me.

I realized later on, that this was like the Drake Equation.

If you are not familiar with the Drake Equation, google it...

Trying to meet someone compatible, who shares similar world views, who has similar values and goals, seems astronomically small, and eventually, you really have to decide what is your true priority.

I've met men who had vanilla girlfriends. I didn't get it at the time, but now I do.

If you want a partner, someone to share life with, it's going to be very very hard to find all of that, and then someone who wants most of your fetishes or kinks, and you'd have to want theirs.

And, they'd have to be the top or bottom, to your role, too.

Someone who has a job and isn't sitting at home all day. If you work and earn decent money, you're at risk for someone hooking up with you to help out their finances, which is DIFFERENT than having a real relationship, and then deciding to see if it's advantageous to live together, etc.

Someone who has more goals than drinking beer.

Someone who isn't naive about modern events and affairs.

Someone who doesn't believe everything they were told is true.

I met one man who said, "I don't want this stuff in my home." So I guess he wasn't comfortable having it around. Maybe he viewed it like going to a hooker. He might like going to the hooker, but he doesn't want it in his home.

When I started out in this real time, many moons ago, I had one top tell me "not to look for love in this." He warned about how a lot of men would just use a woman, and wouldn't see her as "relationship material". Now, I realize on this site, there's some couples, but they are probably the minority out there. I ignored this guy's advice, but later on, I realized it was true. Even if you are not promiscuous, going and playing with others is seen the same way. Most people who are looking for a play partner are not looking for date or a relationship. They'll have you come around a lot if you can satisfy their urges, but you'll definitely spend your birthday without them, and you don't mean anything long term to them. They're always looking for a new person to play with.

I know a lot of people might say, "Oh, don't give up, it's out there." Well, it's not out there. Just like the wife who won't have sex with the men on here. I have a lot of interests and hobbies and not enough time for them, and if I met a vanilla man who wanted to be friends, who shared my views, (and had a job), I'd enjoy that.

In regard to the Drake Equation, the very small odds means one has to have their priorities.

Years ago, my now deceased wife 'caught' me giving myself very pleasurable enemas and she let me know that she wasn't happy. I'm sure that she felt that I preferred enemas to having sex with her. Some years later after she died, I co existed with another female and being open, I let her in on my secret but when she packed her bags and left me, she went around all of my friends and told them of my enemas to humiliate me and perhaps she did me a favour as I feel these days I'm out of the closet. These days I have another lady companion that says she accepts my enema desires but 'tolerates' what I do. It would be nice to have an enemate. regards, irrigator333.

Years ago, my now deceased wife 'caught' me giving myself very pleasurable enemas and she let me know that she wasn't happy. I'm sure that she felt that I preferred enemas to having sex with her. Some years later after she died, I co existed with another female and being open, I let her in on my secret but when she packed her bags and left me, she went around all of my friends and told them of my enemas to humiliate me and perhaps she did me a favour as I feel these days I'm out of the closet. These days I have another lady companion that says she accepts my enema desires but 'tolerates' what I do. It would be nice to have an enemate. regards, irrigator333.

What was her purpose in talking about your personal stuff?

This would be like telling a bunch of people that someone likes blow jobs.

That's really awful behavior to talk about personal stuff with others.

It wasn't about "enemas". If there was something else you liked, and she didn't, she would have used that against you, too.

Sundaybrunch: Except that in this day and age, blowjobs are largely considered normal sexual behavior, so it would not have had the same effect.

(Incidentally, ot so long ago, oral and anal sex were criminalized in some US states, and it happened that in divorce proceedings one spouse would accuse the other one of having initiated "deviant intercourse" so as to humiliate and to get some gains. Sometimes they even managed to secure criminal convictions. So, yes, telling people all around about your ex spouse or ex partner's sexual practices seems like an old trick.)

But anything she could betray him with, she would have. If someone plays with someone, and one person doesn't want to meet anymore, both people should go their separate ways, and there should be no revenge or retribution.

Talking about blow jobs may not carry as much weight as someone doing enemas, but it's still the idea of spreading someone's personal business.

That afternoon in 1984 when Angie, a home health nurse, asked my husband if he could help hold me on my side in bed while she gave me an enema was a life-changer for both of us. I have written about this experience before. We'd only been married a couple of months and exploring our inhibitions. Admittedly, we were both late bloomers. Even though Angie made a joke, I know she was serious when she said if more couples would learn to give each other enemas, there would be fewer divorces! That sure worked for us!!

Interesting I was in Cozumel on a cruise met a lady from Santa Barbra we where talking she asked what is the kinkiest thing you have done. I told her wine enemas she did not bat an eye I figured either you would 1 blow your margarita out your nose 2 ask for the check or 3 tell all the lady’s on the cruise. Well we ended up in here room doing wine enemas. She has come to Denver to play and I go out there next month who knew !

@Dr_Strangelove: Great to read an account with a happy ending, like yours.

We were married several years before hubby came to the realization that I got something "extra" from enemas.

He arrived home early one day from work and I was on my back in the middle of the bathroom floor. I was in the midst of a delightful enema and had no inclination to stop and scurry around and clean up. He knew that I took enemas around "that time of the month" when I had some constipation issues. But for fun? So that day turned out to be the day that my recreational use of enemas became known.

As he poked his head in the door the combination of sensations from the enema and my masturbating furiously ended in a cascade of sounds that immediately said orgasm. Again and again waves coursed through my body as he curiously watched my self pleasure reach its peak with an enema nozzle buried deep in my rectum and one hand between my legs and the other massaging my nipples.

Once the dust settled (and I mean it almost literally) we had "the talk". Now, he knew.

Although it was several years later before he would ever submit to an enema, he has come to see in later years that they can enhance an intimate encounter and bring some added spice to a long-term relationship.

Thankfully, we are both open-minded enough that we are constantly discovering new things!

Deb

Until fairly recently, I had no idea that my husband liked enemas or that he did them. We have known each other from about the 3rd grade and he hid his use of enemas from me as well as the entire rest of the world. I had no idea he was into them but when I found out, I have to admit that I was very skeptical. But when I found out, we were in the process of changing up our sex lives together and it came out about his enemas.

I tried a few and he gave me a few, and it was surprising at how much they felt good and it was and still is a sexy and intimate experience. I understand why he kept them a secret but now that he's "out" and I'm into them, I don't see us leaving enemas out of our sex play in the future. 😈

I give and get enemas with every girl I've dated

I had been doing enemas for many years and didn't even have a clue that my wife was even remotely aware of this. One day we were just talking and the subject of enemas somehow came into the conversation and that's when she say's "oh I always knew that you were doing something in the bathroom with the door locked." She had at some point seen a bag and nozzle that I forgot to put up out of sight. After that day she has shown some interest in enemas and even had me give her one which she enjoyed and I enjoyed giving her one.