Do you have Second Thoughts or Guilt about your MedFet Fetish?

It has taken me nearly 20 years to understand this is how the God I serve wired me and that it does not define who I am in Him. That guilt is also why I've been on and off this site so many times.

I love this statement by DrTforFem. And, like DrT, I too have experienced guilt (and sometimes shame) in what I enjoy. But what I DON'T do is try to disregard the existence of my God in an effort to cover up that guilt (no God therefore no reason to feel guilty?). I don't need proof of his existence; it's embedded in me to know he's there and that he's my friend.

I've enjoyed being given enemas and having thermometers and other things up my bottom since a little boy. I cannot be blamed for that nor can I ignore it as I've tried many times to. Nor can I ignore that my preference for medfet play is with males, not females. Yes, I'm gay if you want to put a label on it, and always have been, and I have no control over that either even though I've tried to dispel that orientation by having sex with and being married to females. To borrow from DrT, I'm "wired" for both gay and medfet. I don't blame my God for that but, rather, I accept myself for what he has made me. That eliminates the guilt and it eliminates the shame. I now feel good about myself and who I am and what I like, but I keep God well in my company. My God is a forgiving God, and I'm good with that. The bible may preach against certain practices, but let's not forget that the bible as we know it was written by humans, and humans are often quoted in the bible for making errors. So I question the accuracy of the bible; I do not question the existence of God.

I am who I am. I'm at peace. Are you?

Alex

One more thing I wanted to add before I get off my "soapbox". :]

While I may have a few "mis-wiring" (e.g. being gay and having a medical/anal fetish), I also have some perfectly GOOD wiring. I'm a compassionate, caring, understanding, forgiving, loving, and generous individual who embraces the good in others. It shows in my work as a healthcare professional, and in my mannerism toward friends and family. I'm certainly glad I have more good wiring than bad!

Alex

I now feel good about myself and who I am and what I like, but I keep God well in my company. My God is a forgiving God, and I'm good with that. The bible may preach against certain practices, but let's not forget that the bible as we know it was written by humans, and humans are often quoted in the bible for making errors. So I question the accuracy of the bible; I do not question the existence of God.

I am who I am. I'm at peace. Are you?

Alex

Not sure if this was in response to my comment, but as a point of clarification: i do not equate all religious, and i should have qualified "some" religious (specifically, fundamentalist types who equate their beliefs with knowledge and try to force others to conform to their ideas). i apologize for the blanket statement. i do not know enough to be able to say whether there is or is not a God. When i left religion, i didn't leave belief, but the highly defined beliefs of fundamentalism. I really left fundamentalism. To be open, i have the impression there is something (someone?). i know that is just my impression and i know that neither confirms or disproves "it." i do not know what to call it, so 'it' remains undefined. i do not consider my position to be inferior or superior to someone who believes in something/someone more specific, i feel complete peace in being able to be honest and real about my own perceptions.

I must confess. I do have pangs of guilt for meeting other men for exams. I'm certain this constitutes marital infidelity on numerous levels. But as my sex life with my wife has gone on the skids again, the guilt becomes less and less with each and every exam. All the progress I thought we had made nine months ago seems to have evaporated....

Tallslenderguy, yes in a way it was in response to what you said but also in response to what others have said in other topics relating to religious beliefs. I hear you on the fundalmentalist thinking and I agree with you wholeheartedly. But what I was merely trying to convey here is that one doesn't have to give up their religious beliefs because of who they are. Too often people tune out their God in order to keep what they enjoy (within reasons) or who they are to avoid the guilt syndrome. Let's face it: Our lives are shaped through fundamentalist way of thinking that varies from religion to religion and we're made to believe we shouldn't do this and shouldn't do that. When we're "different" from others (actually we're ALL different in some ways), we're made to believe that if we don't change our differences to conform to fundamental beliefs, we'll go to hell. My God is the master of decisions on where my "eternal life" will be, not the fundamentalists. I can't help the fact that I was made "gay" anymore than I can change the physical disabilities I was also born with. So why give up my God? No one should have to.

Just my two halos worth!

Alex

I don't have any second thoughts or guilt about it because, frankly, it's a pretty benign fetish that can't possibly cause harm to anyone. But I am careful of whom I tell about it, just because too few people "get it." That isn't embarrassment or shame, that's just being choosy about who gets into that part of my life.

I must confess. I do have pangs of guilt for meeting other men for exams. I'm certain this constitutes marital infidelity on numerous levels. But as my sex life with my wife has gone on the skids again, the guilt becomes less and less with each and every exam.

Playing doctor with guys isn't really cheating. If you were denying your wife sex or time because of it, then maybe. Then you'd be cheating her of sex or time.

Hey it is the human body in all the richness of its very responsive nature! I would say one just should make sure to know and follow the guidelines for what is really possible and what belongs only in the fantasy realm. ie My mind goes many places I don't think my body would!

Playing doctor with guys isn't really cheating. If you were denying your wife sex or time because of it, then maybe. Then you'd be cheating her of sex or time.

I imagine his wife might see it very differently. I really don't think the test of her accepting it is whether or not he is denying her sex or time.

I don't feel guilt, but I do feel a little embarassed about it sometimes, especially stuff like suppositories and enemas because those seem most like something that someone shouldn't enjoy. But I don't let it stop me.

Playing doctor with guys isn't really cheating. If you were denying your wife sex or time because of it, then maybe. Then you'd be cheating her of sex or time.

Yeah, I don't think my wife would see it that way. She would probably consider it to be a gay affair.

Yeah, I don't think my wife would see it that way. She would probably consider it to be a gay affair.

As long as no oral or anal sex was going on, it's just guys playing with each other. What's the harm in that?

Of course the second thoughts have been there, I've had guilt for a long time. Butt, I've come to realize that my desire, fetish, whatever nomenclature you wish to tag it with, is not all that out of the ordinary, Zity solidified that understanding immensely!

Never any guilt or shame at all, I don't see why I would. The closest emotion would be the worry of embarrassment should people find my toys.

As long as no oral or anal sex was going on, it's just guys playing with each other. What's the harm in that?

@JTMac The ‘harm in that’ is that most marriages have an agreement or understanding that each partner will not have sexual experiences with other people. And this would count.

The litmus text of course, is if it is being hidden from your spouse... it’s cheating.

The litmus text of course, is if it is being hidden from your spouse... it’s cheating.

Indeed - and whatever words are used to describe it, however it is dressed up and disguised, it amounts to the same thing.

Does anyone ever feel guilty about having this type of fetish?

I feel no guilt for finding sexual enjoyment in playing in med fet. It is done between myself and my sub(aka husband). No harm to anyone else.

Play safely and there should be no problem.

Yes definitely. That's why I deleted my account for a while. But then I broke down and rejoined. I have reservations, but I feel like as long as I'm just chatting and not actually meeting people to engage in it physically that it's not harming anyone. I struggle because it is such a major turn on for me. Like nothing else.

No. I don't feel guilty for it. I mean, as kids, we pretend a lot and play doctor with our toy doctor kits on our dolls and stuffed animals. We were taught that it is ok. I am sure the idea was to make us less afraid of going to the doctor by giving us toy doctor kits. Not sure if it worked or not to keep me from being afraid of the doctor as a kid, but playing doctor sure was fun! Why should I give up my imagination just because I am "grown up"?

No not really. It just is what it is. I have felt sort of immoral at times and tried to swear myself off of watching videos, reading other people's stories, etc. But I go back to it when I am bored or need an escape. I do not do role play. Just more of a fantasy world all to myself.

Not at all. In sexual fantasy play, anything is game as long as both (all) parties consent and no one gets hurt.

I don’t regret the fetish - the feeling. It is what it is. I can’t help getting turned on by what turns me on. I DO regret acting on it at times. I feel guilty about getting pleasure from some of the things I do or let my husband do to me. I feel guilty about exhibiting myself. I feel guilty and then I get over it. I’ve tried NOt doing it at various times in my life and didn’t like how unfulfilled and anxious it made me feel so I figure feeling occasionally guilty is an adequate trade off.

@Nurse_Phillips, I'm married to a medical professional. He's a retired Orthopedic Surgeon. In 1983 is when I discovered my affinity for medical pleasure. I was in early pregnancy at my doctors office with our last child and had developed a mild case of cervical erosion caused by the birth control pills I had taken. My doctor suggested silver nitrate applicators, wooden sticks with 75% silver nitrate and 25% potassium nitrate embedded on the tip. My husband was with me and they knew each other. She suggested that he could easily do the applications at home. She gave us samples and a vaginal speculum. I can't recall how many treatments my husband gave me but I do recall this. Prior to me husband inserting a speculum into my vagina, I never had a male doctor touch or see my female parts. A very negative experience by a good friend of mine with a male gynecologist told me I would never let a male doctor touch me! Yet, my husband was a male doctor and he was looking inside of me. Before my last application of silver nitrate I did something different. Before he got home I "Dressed" for my final session. I put on this cute violet lingerie top with a matching garter belt , black sheer stockings and a pair of sexy violet colored high heel sandals. I had dyed the shoes to match the lingerie about a year earlier. I put on an ankle bracelet and some sexy lip stick and eye shadow, etc. The only thing I did not put on was panties!

When my husband got home from work. He worked at the University of Michigan. He was surprised! I said, "I'm ready for my cervix medication" He said, "This is a surprise" I replied, "There's More To Come" So, I'm laying at the edge of the bed, speculum in my vagina and my husband kneeling in front of me. He applied the medicine and I asked him? "Do you think you can touch my clitoris with your tongue with the speculum inside of me" Bill, that's my husbands name said! Are you serious? I assured him he had heard me right! I told him to make love to my clitoris until I had an orgasm. Needless to say he did and this changed our lives. This opened the door to the wild and sexy side of me that had been un-tapped for years. This opened the door to him accepting me as his very own sexy patient. We were married in 1971 and in 1983 we discovered Med Fet by necessity.

When this first started I asked him about doctors, patients and sexual feeling. He replied that we are all human and have to attempt to keep on the path of our jobs. He explained that he had never thought about our first bed room speculum session until I took the lead! He explained that me as his wife was different and he doubted he could feel that way with a patient. He did say, we are humans first and professionals second but there is a good deal of medical professionals who have problems with sexual desires. It's simply because we are human. The doctors that get in trouble are the ones who get addicted to not getting caught and sooner or later do. My husband works with physicians who have alcohol, drug and sexual problems. It's not uncommon! The internet is full of stories about the doctors who have sexually assaulted their patients. And like everyone else, no one is sorry until they get caught. No one wants to say, "I Have A Problem"

We have Med Fet fun to this very day and we are happy without guilt. We are human and accept we are vulnerable to many things. We have never cheated on each other! I'd know for sure because me husband can't hide guilt. It would be written all over his face. We have kept this a secret! The only people who know are the members here at zity. Thank Goodness we know we fit in! We are not strange or odd. We are a married couple who have special fun examining the human body and it's sexual arousing beauty. If I though for an instant that my husband did the things we do because he had to, I would not be here! That would be very self centered and terrible bad. This to us is team work! Or special Team Love! We have a great marriage and relationship!

We both learned a great deal about acceptance after we both accepted that we enjoyed Med Fet and it's ability to forge a great relationship. This was done by good and truthful communication. This cured the many "What If's" in our lives.

Awwww @GyneDoll , that was the cutest story. If you ever publish your medfet life story, let us all know---I'd definitely buy it!

@MedicalPlay, Thank You! I'm happy you enjoyed my story. I never knew what MedFet was until I became a member here. I did not know it had a name. I do know it helped to make a powerful bonding between my husband and myself.

Have A Wonderful Day! Gwen

I had major second thoughts around 2 years ago and scrapped all my med fet gear including an expensive surgical table, thinking it was wrong, a fad and I would never find anyone else interested, only to deeply regret it and find this site, a play doc and begin to get examinations,

I don't understand why anyone would;

- Feel any guilt

- Feel embarrassed

- Feel any shame

...for any of this! I mean, we're all human, and we like what we like. When playing with others we're all grown ups! If two consenting adults decide to dress up and role-play doctors and nurses, where's the harm?

I first discovered my fetish when I was fairly young. Around 12-13 years old, I used to hang out with a group of friends. One of the girls in our friend group, her Mother was a nurse. When we used to make 'dens' or build things, she used to bring latex gloves from her house. I knew that when she wore the gloves, it made me feel different.. but I didn't know what it was. I was young.

Over the next 4 or 5 years I really took a learning curve into learning what it was all about, and I eventually discovered that although latex gloves were where it all started, my interest was far deeper.

I too felt shy and embarrassed about it. I thought, am I normal? Why is no one else into this like I am?

Well, eventially at about 19 years old.. I was dating a girl, and I told her about the gloves. She wasn't too freaked out and would frequently wear them when we had sex. It was great!

From that point on, as a young man... it was one of the first things I told girls! Okay, I didn't tell many of them about the full medical fetish, but at the absolute minimum I told them about my love for latex surgical gloves. When they said "It's weird!" I would respond with, "Well, we're all weird in our own way, and hey... at least it's clean! haha" - I don't think it ever scared anyone off.

I don't tell my friends what I'm into, but I do tell my dates and partners. My thoughts are, if you can't express yourself sexually in a relationship, you're in the wrong relationship.

My point is, we are who we are.. don't hide it, don't fight it.

Don't feel that you can only be yourself on the internet. You CAN be yourself out there in the real world, and no one can do a damn thing about it! Of course, that doesn't mean don't be safe! Of course, be safe! Be careful. But have fun!

I don't understand why anyone would;

- Feel any guilt

- Feel embarrassed

- Feel any shame

Here's my short and concise answer why I (or other people) would feel guilt, embarrassed and shame: Catholic school.

Omg - yes!!!! I feel bad sometimes about the whole cardiophilia anyway - the things I'm turned on by, the way it makes me crave some things so much. But in terms of guilt in relation to the medical profession, I experienced that only last week.

I had a pre-op assessment, which I thought was just a quick bp check, blood sample and whizz through a few medical-history questions. But then she suddenly announces she needs to listen to my heart and lungs, and that she'd need 'access to my chest and back' (those words on their own made me tingle). Needless to say my top was off before she had time to blink...

I have had a fleeting steth ages ago by a male consultant....but she was much more thorough... listening carefully at each auscultation point, at one point sliding the steth just inside my bra and pressing it firmly into my left breast....

I would MUCH have preferred a male doctor...but the fact that someone listened to my actual heart (and I could feel it pounding so hard in my chest...) turned me on so much it was all I could do to stop my hand sliding down my knickers there and then. The feel of the steth being held against my chest, knowing my beats were the focus of someone's attention....just fuck.

The minute I got home I had to sneak upstairs and masturbate....thinking about that nurse touching my chest, listening to my heart...I came so damn hard. And then immediately after felt a bit disgusted with myself.

What on earth would she think if she knew? She was so busy, had so many patients to see. No doubt sees people who really are truly ill. And yet there I was, bringing myself to orgasm re-living in my head the moment she stethed me.

But, tbh - the guilt is way overridden by the pleasure. I've cum several times since thinking about that moment...so obviously I don't find the guilt too much of an issue. I don't know if that's wrong - probably is. But I can't help it, it's the way I'm wired I guess.

@ListenToMyBeats , do you think she could tell you were turned on?

By the way, your post turned ME on to wanting to listen all over your chest area. 😃