Cheating on your spouse

@Dahiana

Damn right! Cheating and your definition of it in terms of your relationship is 100% between you and your significant other, what would piss me off may not another. All boils down to what you'll put up with in your relationship. Every relationship is different, if you feel your cheating, ya are. Plain, simple.

Rant over

🐾

The fool that I am, was in a 30 year sexless marriage - my wife was not. She was smarter than me! The last 5 yrs I did finally jump the fence multiple times.

This is a great discussion where all the viewpoints are being brought out, but here is something dear to my heart that I hope will be considered. I really don't think we are being fair to ourselves.

Before I decided to pair-off with someone, I was hard at work deciding what I believed. I seriously doubt there were very many days when my beliefs did not change, at least to some degree.

Then I married. "What now?" I thought? Was I supposed to stop my philosophical inquiry, and quit learning from life? Or upon realizing that learning cannot be stopped, should I assume my wife is adjusting her beliefs also, and because we are married, she will somehow come to the same conclusions as I do, and we will continue to be a match made in heaven? Dubious!

WE ARE SHIPS PASSING IN THE NIGHT! Each on our own course, and we are fortunate that our course will take us across the paths of many others - but only for a brief time. We will find someone to share with at so many points in our life, but none of us should ever ask another person to give up their beliefs and their search for the truth, and adopt ours.

Marriage to one other person until death, is a cruelty to everyone. We can need; help, shack up, and even sacrifice for each other, but then move on to someone else that needs us when we are no longer a match.

I was married once, for almost 12 years. The 1st 5 years the sex was ok. But after that I couldn't take the bitching after working 10 hr days, and commute for a hour and a half both ways. Then the sex wasn't that great, seemed like a chore to her. After I got divorced, had some of the greatest sex since High School. And don't plan on quitting yet. 😉

Had a lot of chances when I was married, if I'd of known then what I know now, I'd of taken advantage of it.

…..takes it to court. This is where good 🙄 righteous 🤢 upstanding 🤮 superior moral people who are without sin 😇 can pass judgement for or against whichever person has the most money and the dirtiest piece of shit lawyer.

@Dahiana Best damn definition of our legal system I've ever heard!!

How about some ideas/advice about how to cheat and not get caught? “How to Cheat” safely, discreetly, and to avoid detection, Cute clip of folks caught cheating on camera! Gotta see the guy trying to climb out a window on some sheets tied together in his underwear..😈😈😈😈.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOaQXo0l1rM

Affairs can be quietly tolerated for various reasons. In the prime of a relationship, it is such a bombshell that sometimes the wounded party can scarcely admit the fact to themselves; but when the wandering party finally admits to a supposedly recent affair, the other can say almost to the day when it really started. The mind protects itself from injury sometimes, but also knows the truth when confronted.

Aged 17 when first living away from home, I was shocked when my 80+ landlady casually told me that her similarly aged husband, who still lived there, had in earlier times run a (he thought) secret affair with a neighbour for many years which she’d simply turned a blind eye to. ‘Kept him happy and away from me’ she said with a shrug.

Then, I was shocked. Now, I realise that as @gwhap said in another way, the amorous couple wedding and imagining sex on tap may never consider just how much may change in a lifetime. That the sex which once bonded them so strongly could become a divisive subject or perhaps just a chore which one party is quietly relieved has been outsourced by the other.

I don’t.

@Nurse_Phillips asked….

Is it cheating if your spouse is aware and has given their blessing?

If your spouse changes their mind about it at a later date… it could be.

To cheat or to never have sexual intimacy again…that is the question.

Currently as things sit in my house, not near as much sex as we used to have, I would not cheat on my sub. I just do the best with what I have been dealt. I would not disrespect him just because his health has changed or how well he can or can not perform sexually. To me that seems so selfish when our marriage is more than just our experiences between the sheets, or where ever we have sex. I didn't marry him just because of his cock. I married him for the good and the bad. This just happens to have some bad thrown in right now.

My personal feeling is that any physical activity between two people that involves any touching, without the spouses consent, is essentially cheating.

@mike45 I was married once, for almost 12 years ………….

Had a lot of chances when I was married, if I'd of known then what I know now, I'd of taken advantage of it.

Reminds me of my fist marriage and how I passed up opportunities to have affairs. Meanwhile I was naive to my then wife's fooling around. When she finally took off with another, I regretting being so true-blue to her.

Even thinking about it, and printing stuff off the internet is BAD! whew.

@Nurse_Phillips asked….If your spouse changes their mind about it at a later date… it could be

I understand your situation and this comment isn’t directed at you or your particular situation. I will say that I disagree strongly with the quoted part of your comment. Consent can’t be revoked retroactively. It can be withdrawn DURING something but after the fact you can‘t say ‘nope, didn’t mean it.’ Nope, you agreed that we would do X. Now that we’ve done X you can’t say you didn’t agree with it. Our relationship may be irrevocably altered by X - actions have consequences (which may have been the point you were trying to make) but you can’t claim I cheated on you if you had given your blessing up front. That’s just dishonest.

I have a couple of married friends that stop over occasionally for a little fun, or just a simple blow job. We like to watch some gay porn and it always ends up giving each other some mutual relief. We don't consider this cheating, since they are both young and their wives won't have sex more that a couple times a year. Getting their cocks sucked by their wives is totally out of the question. That all quit the day they were married. We have become pretty good friends and know both the wives, how ever when I run into them anyplace I totally ignore them. I would never do anything to jeopardize their marriage.

I have a couple of married friends that stop over occasionally for a little fun, or just a simple blow job. We like to watch some gay porn and it always ends up giving each other some mutual relief. We don't consider this cheating, since they are both young and their wives won't have sex more that a couple times a year.

It is cheating. That's a decision that they have to make and be prepared for the consequences if they get caught. It's a choice that they made for themselves and I'm not saying it is necessarily the wrong choice. That's something that everyone that goes there has to make for themselves.

@Dick_Smoker_989 …………. Getting their cocks sucked by their wives is totally out of the question. That all quit the day they were married.

Kind of like my first wife who before we were married talked about how she needed to have lots of enemas - then as soon as we married and I began mentioning enemas, she said I was a pervert 😈

Kind of like my first wife who before we were married talked about how she needed to have lots of enemas - then as soon as we married and I began mentioning enemas, she said I was a pervert 😈

Well hey, if the shoe fits! LOL

Is there something wrong with being a pervert?

I will say that I disagree strongly with the quoted part of your comment. Consent can’t be revoked retroactively. It can be withdrawn DURING something but after the fact you can‘t say ‘nope, didn’t mean it.’

Just be aware that a partner can change their mind and say “no”. Be prepared for all possibilities just in case they happen. Because in the end it will be ones word against the others about what was agreed on. Unless you have a signed document or contract between you. But how much fun would that be?

I think the subject has been covered nine ways from Sunday…so I'll not belabor the previous responses; I will, however, make this observation: Masturbation is (for most) an acceptable and, generally, pleasurable way to satisfy needs or wants. It has probably become more acceptable over LOTS of eons, culturally. It is/can be frequently enhanced by imagination/fantasy, myriad “kinks”, toys and alternatives to conventional PIV sex. If you want to “stray” and you do so with the full consent of your partner, so be it. Your conscience is what you need to deal with and….

Have a great sex life all…however it is comprised!!

Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?

She knows she’s given her last blow job.

Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?

She knows she’s given her last blow job.

Boy is that the truth!

Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?

She knows she’s given her last blow job.

This seems to be a rehash of that old joke:

What’s the difference between your job and your wife?

After five years, your job still sucks.

Moppys, been married 15 years and my wife still loves to suck my cock. Happy man.

My wife has decided even looking at porn is cheating, carrying it a bit too far methinks. Straight missionary…no oral, no anal, limited fun, quite constipated. Still, I’m in it to the final and have decided there are other redeeming qualities to be enjoyed.

My wife has decided even looking at porn is cheating, carrying it a bit too far methinks. Straight missionary…no oral, no anal, limited fun, quite constipated. Still, I’m in it to the final and have decided there are other redeeming qualities to be enjoyed.

Like death??

I have “cheated” on my spouse many times. Early on she didn't want sex so there was someone that turned me on and we had a great time.

Later my wife decided she did like sex now and then, which was fine, but in between there have been lots of other women. Now, I'll say it has been 15 years or more. She doesn't want sex and BJ are in the cards and she won't do anything else.

I wished I knew then what I know now.

Like death??

For some “Til death do us part isn't a vow, it's a goal.” @gwhap I think I'm quoting Jeff Foxworthy. 🤔

While I may not have the perfect mate regarding sex and/or kink, the definition of my person is not limited to that. Further, I’m unwilling to throw away a life well lived on kink. Rather, I’ve decided to appreciate and celebrate those other/many areas that are wonderfully satisfying and find satisfaction quite narrowly. Stepping out is a recent sexual activity where I am exquisitely discrete.

Ironically, I travel extensively in my professional life and while there is always opportunity, I never acted on it. Effing Covid-19…

Moppys, been married 15 years and my wife still loves to suck my cock. Happy man.

You are a lucky man. She is a keeper.