Exploring with Friends

@Lora ... I think you need ... all need ... to think of all the people you would be 'in bed' with ... if you were to be intimate with Ruthie & Dave and Beth Anne as well as Tom. Even though it's 'just' 2 other couples ... you would be 'doing' at least 7 people. And if they each had ... one more ... that could add 6 more to the equation ... that is if that theory holds some bit of concern for 'bringing something home.'

@Gibby - yes, I've done the math, and I don't think the others have. I'm pretty sure that there is a helluva risk - regardless of whether 'swapping' is more exclusive than 'swinging' or vice versa. That's why I am asking the question - I would really like to experience this, but it may be way too risky. My even 'doing' Ruthie - added her and Dave to the inner circle. So I am going to have to explain that to them - Tom is seeing where this may have to be nipped in the bud before we go too far, and we need to get some answers on it.

Yes you do. .it's one thing to be "Exploring with Friends" but an entirely different matter to be inviting not so good "other friends" that cant be seen by the "naked" eye. .Swinging into action & "summing" things up makes for better out-cums

What about oral ... or something to do with enemas ... or just keep it at being naked with each other?

The more I think about it - yeah, it would be something I would want to do, Tom wants to, also, but the more we talk about it the more it sounds too risky. And yet - I wonder if we just did oral, how would that be? Or the enemas - playing with toys, 'hand jobs', and things like that.

Reality sucks - just sayin' 😢

With their own "equipment" ?

You mean using their own enema bags - or other toys? I'd say - that's the only way to go.

Yep - Play safe !

Using someone else's enema bag - or their dildo, never crossed my mind. On a scale of 1 to 10 on the EWWWW-O-METER - that would be a 14. 😉

Well, Lora, I've been trying to stay off of here for comments because this is your post about your friends.

Lora, way before we first started out I found this book, "The Ethical Slut, The Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities." There was another one that was basically the same title but also about polyamory, I'm not sure of the spelling. I was just kicking things around and I have no idea why I looked at it or why I went back to look. It was probably your post about that sex swing you found on Amazon. This book is on Amazon, too. They have it on Kindle. (I added the last couple of sentences after I checked out Amazon again and it is there.)

You might also want to look at your own post "http://www.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;msg=717078" to remind yourself of where you want to go. It's the post you did on your sexual bucket list.

You are right in thinking about the "bigger picture" and you may feel like you need to step back and look around. The math you have done needs to be considered.

Unless there is some sort of time limit or deadline, take your time and talk things through with everyone. I know OF, not actually know, your friends. If you ALL have decided it was the right time and right thing to do to be naked with each other, then there is no need to rush things. I think they will look at the "math" you have figured out and listen to what you have to say.

I would have put this in a PM, but you are looking for answers and maybe someone who has, "Been there and done that," will help you out.

Cedar

I only have one friend that i let give me enemas shr does so two times a week but she will not participate in any way

. . . .Lora, way before we first started out I found this book, "The Ethical Slut, The Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities.". . .

That was a fun book to read. Dossie Easton has a lot of sexual relationship type books to her credit.

That was a fun book to read. Dossie Easton has a lot of sexual relationship type books to her credit.

It was a good book. Not a lot of flowery prose or medical jargon and pretty easy to follow. The "safe sex" was a pretty common sense approach, too. The main thing I took away from the book was that, if you get into this way of life you need to keep track (?) of your sexual partners. If they don't practice safe sex, then you have to be the one to decide whether or not to keep them in your circle. It is a two way street. My impression was that the "primary partner" had to be on board and know about the links-in-the-kinks and where they fit in.

Overall, if I remember correctly, to be an ethical slut you had to have good communication and be confident in your "primary partner."

It's on Kindle - and not a bad read, if I can get the time. Thank you for the find. 😃

@Lora_C , First, don't worry about the terminology os swing vs. swap. Not everyone will agree on the proper term. What matters is what you are or are not doing.

Second, All involved should get tested for STDs, that sets a baseline. If all are clean, have fun. If not, the guys should use condoms, and still have fun. If one of the ladies has an issue, the other ladies need to take care with her until she gets over it.

@quincy - You have that right. My husband and I have been tested for STD's - and Ruthie & Dave have, too, and some of the 'panels' (?) haven't come back. We want to check for the 'whole 9 yards' as to what is out there. Beth Anne & Steve are getting tested when we get back from our little trip. But it looks like that we are going to go the - protected sex route for the foreseeable future until we get more comfortable with each other.

My husband's blood tests have been clear - so far, this coming Friday he will have a follow up colonoscopy. It was delayed because his doctor broke his foot - it was supposed to have happened last week, but that is just how it goes. We are getting to be old hands at the colonoscopies - starting tomorrow, we are going to cut back on his solid foods a little and get in more soups. He is totally open to enemas now 😄 - but that doesn't mean he still doesn't have to drink what he calls 'goat piss'. We are thinking that when he does have to drink that stuff - that we may have him do some enemas before hand, to make it a little easier to get everything out. If we don't find any polyps - and the blood tests keep coming back clear, then we can wait a year for the next one. We are just taking it slow - but it is looking cautiously optimistic.

Our couples friends - Ruthie & Dave and Beth Anne & Steve, and we, have all tested negative for any STD's. 😃 But that 'fluid bonding' I had mentioned earlier - that is so not going to happen, too many couples in the mix. The math just didn't work out - but that is OK, and all of us are good with the guys using condoms. The girls and I - have talked amongst ourselves, that we will let the guys make the moves, mainly because of performance issues, and the male ego. It's a real concern for us gals - and it is not something we are going to let our guys in on as to what the reasoning was when we set out that guideline. I put it out there - to the gals, that if either Dave or Steve wants to 'do me' that I will be OK for them picking the time and place. But us gals - and the guys, have agreed that anal will be only for our husbands, for now at least. Oral and vaginal sex - will be with condoms.

But when it comes to sex between - Ruthie, Beth Anne and me, we aren't really sure if saran wrap or dental dams are the route we want to go. That will probably mean some more - or regular testing, safe sex is going to be part of our little group. I won't bore you all with the behind the scenes talks - but now that we have some ground rules down, I feel a lot better about where we're all going with this.

Tom and I have our sexual bucket list - there was a post or thread here in Zity.Biz where I posted my own sexual bucket list. 😉 Which BTW - I've since shared with our circle, circle sounds better than group. Tom and I are going to get that swing - 😄 and we found it YOGABODY Naturals Yoga Trapeze-Yoga Swing/Sling/Inversion Tool, Orange - yeah, right, yoga. 😉 That's going to be our story - and we're sticking to it if one of the kids or grandkids ever wanders into our room, which will be locked from now on. That hook Tom put in for my enema bag - he did it right and we have put in some more hardware to make it more sturdy. Yep - taking up yoga. 😉 🌹

This past week - we all got to talking about bucket lists, and of course it came around to sexual things. It was during and after our - 'dinner in the buff' gatherings at Ruthie & Dave's. I started out - since, even though we were all naked, it was down to who's going to get their crazy out there first and take that chance of being the only strange one in the room. Sooooo - I went first. 😈 I told them - of course Tom knew first, that my own sexual bucket list - one of them has me having enema in front of a crowd or a room full of people. Another was me being stripped naked - or being the only one naked in a crowd or room full of people or the only one naked in the room. Insert crickets chirping here - 😳 😮 🙄 The silence was deafening - and I'm thinking 'oh shit', but Ruthie, bless her heart, asked if she could be the one to give me the enema?

If all goes well with Tom's colonoscopy - and I believe it will, our little circle of friends and we are going to have a get together this Sunday. Ruthie says that Dave knows about her enemas - and has even stuck around while she has one, and is used to her having an enema. Beth Anne said that she hasn't really done many enemas - but that Ruthie has been hinting at how good they are for general well being. So they think it will be OK - but things have to go well with Tom and that colonoscopy. BTW - Tom is OK with me and my little bucket list. We'll see how this goes - 😃

@Lora_C ... I hope everything goes well for Tom ... and that the colonoscopy is clear. 🌹 All the best to you two ... you are really a nice couple. 😃 I'd love to see you in that swing ... 😄 I bet that will be a blast! 😄

So ... you are going to go to Ruthie & Dave's with Beth Anne & Steve ... and be the only one naked ... and ... Ruthie is going to give you an enema? 😜 😎 😈 All I can say is ... WOW!!! You know 😈 ... Ruthie's dining room table and her dining room ... and the chandelier over the table? Just thinking ... 😉 I'd love to be there for that!!! 😄 🌹 😈

But ... more than ever ... I hope all goes well with Tom on Friday ... and give him my best. 🌹 🌹 🌹

@Gibby - we think it's going to be OK, his blood tests have been good and clear, so we have hope. 😃

Ruthie's dining room table - this Sunday? 😮 Naked - getting an enema, and it's a dream come true, and I'm getting cold feet. I've never even done anything like this - and I may be in over my head. 😮

I'm just going to concentrate on Friday - and Tom. 🌹

You probably are in over your head ... 😉 ... but you are setting the pace for your circle. It's something to think about ... for both you and Tom ... while waiting for Friday. This is what you've been about ... and you are going to open up the doors your friends never dreamed of. This you ... go for it. 🌹

@Lora_C , Remember A and D ointment around Tom's anus after he drinks his goat piss. It will protect the skin against the ravages of the salty liquids coming out and the roughness to toilet paper.

Hi Lora.....and all,

Well first off , I'm lovin readin' all this>>>>> reminds me of a time. a long time ago, I was "MUCH YOUNGER" Then..............one must be careful, The mention of "STD's" perks my ears up........and more......"Wrascal wrappers" are great preventative protocol...but ya have to use them!! i have a story or two to tell....."Later" for now if you are in a "Fluid Bonded reationship" with people..... all should be well......even then there have been times it was not "STD" But just because her local Flora and mine were in opposition it reeked havoc on my urinary tract!! it took a 10 day dose of antibiotics, no sex, beer, tea, whiskey, salt, pepper and I should have checked into a convent......OH forget that, the situation could only get worse!!!! Oh Shit..... well I lived to have sex again another day.....

Originally, broke my ankle on a bad parachute landing...3 screws in the right ankle and a cast up to my balls!!!!! All my lady friends at school (SDSU) gave me rides home, from class, fixed me dinner and "Fucked me!!!!" Good fun with a cast........just read above and go "Figure!!!!!!" Wouldn't trade those daze for all the tea in china....................

Try all this was goin' on 43 years ago, how old were you then ....if you were even "alive?????"

Try all this was goin' on 43 years ago, how old were you then ....if you were even "alive?????"

LOL @highwater 😉 - yes I was alive 43 years ago, but I'm not going to tell you how long I had been on the planet 43 years ago! 😄 I can see why you were so popular with all those girls 😉 - and I bet you wore your cast a little longer than needed. 😉

As for my circle of friends - when we 'do' each others husbands, they will be using condoms. It was always kind of fun putting them on the boys 'back in the day'. I liked holding their cock - and rolling the condom over the tip, and watching them squirm when I took my time rolling it all the way down their shaft. 😈 Sometimes I was too 'cocky' for my own good - and they ended up 'shooting their wad' into the tip of the condom before I even got it all the way on them. 😢 Talk about your 'hair triggers'. 🙄

Back then - I wasn't so bright about a lot of things, but it sure was fun. I always thought it was totally safe to go down on a boy - and not have to worry about 'VD', that was what 'STD's' were called back then. I'm lucky I didn't get anything - I swallowed. 😉

Thanks for stopping by Highwater. 😃

We called what the girls were doing to you, "Mercy Fucks".

We called what the girls were doing to you, "Mercy Fucks".

@jimmyt44 - I'm thinking highwater didn't care what they were called, he was getting laid! 😁 😎

Thanks ya'll!!

Doc had me in the long cast for 9 weeks then a short cast (just below the knee) for 6 weeks!!

with a "Click!!!!,"

highwater

Hey "Parachute Man"....I was 41! Neener, neener, neener. And 'been there done that' scenario. I was checked in to the hospital for a colon work-up, doing a lot of tests; Sig, BE etc. Floor Nurse asked if I minded if she could get three young nurses the experience of "Sse til clear", since it isn't taught anymore. We kept it light and ended up having a fun time. --I was probably about 41 at the time. (Good seeing ya, High.)

the boxcar

--what a Group.....I love it here.

box

Yeah, Lora and Gibby keep this thread interesting! 😉 🌹 🌹