About two years ago at my annual physical, during the genital exam, the young female physician's assistant discovered a small, painful lump on my right testicle (in the epididymis). I had not noticed it before, but when she found it I about jumped through the roof from pain. She had asked how long it had been like that and I told her that I hadn't noticed it or experienced any discomfort prior to the exam. She felt both testicles as gently as she could, but each time she felt the nodule on my right testicle it caused me to jump. Needless to say, we were both concerned, although she told me not to worry until we learned more. She then said that she was going to go get a physician to come consult/advise and left me sitting on the exam table naked - although she did give me a drape to cover my lap.
About 15 minutes later, there was a soft knock at the door and the PA came back in with a female doctor, I'd guess in about her mid 40s. The PA explained what had occurred earlier in the exam and the doctor asked a few questions. She then told me to remove the drape and stand up. She sat on the stool that the PA had used earlier for the exam, and the PA pulled up a plastic chair. The doctor examined my right testicle, and then my left - but didn't find the nodule. She then asked the PA to show her.
So, here I am, standing naked with two women - medical professionals, but still attractive, strange women that I had just met - examining my testicles. The PA took my right testicle in her hand and within about a second and a half found the nodule and made me jump and wince in pain. The doctor then felt, and couldn't find it (seriously). So the PA found it again and the doctor placed her fingers next to the PA's and followed her path until she found the nodule - so first he PA made me wince and then the doctor. The doctor - who was much less gentle than the PA - then felt my left testicle in the same area, and then the right. Once she had found the nodule, she didn't have any issue finding it again.
She and the PA stepped back and consulted, then came back and they both felt the nodule again. Then the doctor and PA both left the room (without telling me to sit, cover up, get dressed or anything. About 5 minutes later the PA came back in to explain what they thought they had found. She found the nodule again and had me feel it. Then she had me feel my left testicle for comparison.
She then explained that it could be any number of things, from a benign growth to a hydrocele to epididymitis something more serious. She explained each in a little bit of detail and told me that they would send me for an ultrasound so that they could figure out what was going on. She told me that I could get dressed and that she would write up the order for the testicular utlrasound. When I had dressed and left the exam room they told me that they had an opening for me for the ultrasound the next afternoon.
So, the next day I show up about 20 minutes early for my appointment and they take me back as soon as my paperwork was done.
A male nurse took me back to the exam room and told me to get completely undressed from the waist down and to lay down on the table. He gave me a folded towel and told me to lay my penis up on my belly and cover it with the towel, and then to cover myself with the drape, and that the ultrasound tech would be in shortly. Actually, I had hoped that he was the tech, but, well, no.
I did as instructed and lay on the table for about 10 minutes before there was a knock on the door and a young lady wearing in her mid-to-late 30s wearing pink scrubs came in and introduced herself and said that she would be my ultrasound tech. She said that there would be another tech who was just out of school would be observing. Almost as if on cue, there was a soft knock on the door and the other tech came in - a young woman who looked to be in her early 20s. I thought to myself, well, in for a penny, in for a pound.
The first tech explained the procedure and said that they would not be able to provide any diagnosis. The images would be sent to the senior radiologist there who would consult with my referring doctor. She said that it would only be about 10-15 minutes and we'd be done.
She then asked me if I was ready and I nodded yes. I was laying flat on the table in the darkened room and the tech pulled my drape down to my knees. At this point, I'm wearing a shirt, have a towel over my pubic area covering my penis which is laying up toward my belly. From the top of my scrotum to my knees, I'm completely exposed, and the drape is covering my knees and feet.
The tech explained "I'm going to apply some gel so that we can get a good image. It's not cold, in fact, we keep it here in a warmer." She asked me if I was ready and I said "yes" and she squirted some gel onto my testicles. Admittedly, it was pleasantly warm. The tech told me "you'll feel some pressure, but please try to stay still, even if there is some momentary discomfort."
For the next 5 - 10 minutes (or so it seemed) she slid the ultrasound wand all around my right testicle - up, down, and side-to-side. Once or twice the muttered something to the observing tech and pointed out something on the screen. They kept going back and forth with the wand, applying slight pressure - which was only mildly uncomfortable. After about 5 more minutes, they applied some more gel and spent some time with the wand at the top of my right testicle, following the tube up until it entered my abdomen.
After a bit, the tech got up and said "I'm going to go get the radiologist on duty - nothing to worry about." She got up and left but the younger tech - the observed stayed. After a couple of minutes the observing tech asked me if I was warm enough - now, I'm still exposed from the top of my scrotum to my knees - and I say, "yeah, I'm a little cold" thinking that she'd cover me up. Instead, she placed a blanket over my feet and lower legs.
A couple of minutes later, there is a soft knock at the door and the first tech comes back in followed by an African-American woman, probably in her mid-60s and wearing a white lab coat. The three of them gather around the screen and mutter lowly so I can't hear what they are saying. After a minute or two, the woman in the white lab coat picks up the ultrasound wand and, rather forcefully, slides it up my right testicle, focusing on the epididymis, and traces the tube up to where it enters my abdomen. She then retraces her path and, for the first time during the procedure, hits the nodule that was the object of the exam. Of course, this is unexpected and makes me jump and wince.
There is not apology, only a "please try to stay still. This will be over in a minute"
True to her word, she runs the wand for maybe another 30-45 seconds, hands it back to the tech, tells her something and leaves the room.
The tech apologizes and runs the wand over my testicle one more time, this time finding the nodule - although not with as much force as the woman and in the lab coat. She spends about a minute getting images, showing the observe both on the screen, and on my scrotum, where the nodule is. She then removed the little plastic bag cover from the wand and put it back in its holder and told me that the procedure was over. She handed me a towel so that I could clean up the excess gel (which, by this time was over both thighs and had run up the crack of my ass).
She told me that I could get dressed and that I should wait for someone to come get me and lead me out.
So, a long story about my last ultrasound.
Turns out it was a hydrocele - they say nothing to worry about and that it should resolve by itself. That was two years ago and I still have some discomfort, but I'm thankful that it wasn't anything more serious.
It was also a procedure that provides a very vivid memory for all of the reasons that I now know is why I love my medfet!