Significant Other - should I tell I'm a DL?

I've worn diapers 24/7 for a while, and my diaper wearing came before most all of my relationships, so I've been relatively upfront about it with SOs.

I am of the belief that in keeping a healthy relationship especially when married it's not a good thing to hide something from your significant other. While you maybe nervous telling your spouse about your diaper wearing, chances are she is aware of it. And if you come out now she won't be able to weaponize the information if you guys get into a fight. I can't necessarily say she won't but there's a chance. For me if I was involved in a relationship there would be no way around it since I where diapers for night time wetting due to a neurogenic bladder. So hiding it from my significant other would be next to near impossible. This has made it difficult for me to get into relationships. My suggestion is take your time and discuss it with her unfortunately some people's reactions the extremely abrupt and rude for lack of a better word. But most will be understanding you will have to determine how you wish to approach this with her but if done correctly she may come to understand and accept it or basically ignore it as long as you don't involve her. But as humans we all have proclivities that another person may react badly to but as I stated before most people are okay with this kind of stuff, in part more so now then in the past. You could also say at least I don't want to become a woman. I joke. But being honest and Forthcoming this could help to strengthen your relationship. Just remember this there may come a day where both of you might have to wear diapers.

When I started wetting the bed told my wife she was of the belief that diapers and mattress cover would keep her and bed dry so have been diapered almost 30yrs due to being a diabetic.

I told my (now) Wife when we started dating. Told her after about two months. I remember her coming over to my house and had to tidy up before her arival. I had a friend over, who knows about my fetish, who helped me with bagging diapers, from my closet in the bedroom, to bring them to the attic. This was quite a job to do and as we were busy my friend saw me thinking; damn, every time she comes over .... I have to cover up my diaper stuff. My friend looked me in the eye and said: you want to tell her, huh? At that point I knew it was the right thing to do.

So I did.

I’m really happy that I told her. She was very accepting an understanding about it all. I’ve been wearing whenever I wanted from that day on.

Spike

I've been open about my kinks twice and both times worked out well for me. I was unbelievably nervous both times but I was fairly confident that telling them wasn't going to end the relationships even if they were absolutely not interested in any of it. I started with what I considered less kinky ideas instead of jumping right to wetting and diapers and goldenshowers... i figured it wouldn't be as shocking for them starting with something more playful like peeing in the shower together.

Diaperpailpat wrote:

The first one, years ago, wouldn't let me into her pants because she wanted to save it for marriage, but she was OK with me wearing diapers. Then a few years later she decided she wanted to have sex with me. Then as soon as she started letting me into her pants, suddenly she didn't want me wearing my diapers anymore. It was "Now that you have this, you no longer need those!" So I think it was something she allowed to keep me happy while she wouldn't give me any pussy. But once she did, my diapers had to go

Almost word for word, this happened to me with my ex-wife, except we were both saving ourselves for marriage. It didn't end well because she wanted sex all the time and I'm asexual, so yeah… “No regrets there!” She's unfortunately in my life still because we share a child.

I told my high school girlfriend, and her being a thumbsucker, she glided right into my ABDL desires by participating, diapers and all. The relationship didn't end well because she was a bit too immature for me.

I told my college girlfriend and she opened up to me about her kinks so she was okay with it. Didn't participate much, but I wore openly around her and she was cool. Relationship ended due to religious conflicts, which was kind of sad.

Then I met and told my ex-wife, whom I mentioned above.

Then I found my current wife of 8 years (and going strong) on diapermates.com, so it was kind of obvious from the get-go. She immigrated from Canada to the United States and we've been enjoying our escapades ever since. I often tell her that we shaved 10 years off of our relationship due to both of us being ABDL, which is nice because I never once had to explain the love of diapers to her. Win-win.

Long story short, don't keep who you are from your partner. If they love you, they'll accept it. If not, that's a red flag to move on. It's not the worst thing in the world.

For the past 20 years I have told every girl I asked out or met and wanted to see more that I wear diapers and rubber pants and wet my bed most nights. Typically I am wearing my diapers when I let her know. I decided after my divorce I would never hide the fact that I am a DL from any girl I was interested in and have kept to my word. Doesn't always go well as you might expect but most girls have at least been willing to hear more about why I like to wear diapers and how it all started. Most of the time she assumes I have a medical condition but I let her know I don't but my love for diapers is much more a fetish and traces back to my childhood and my relationship with my mother. Much to my surprise most girls I disclosed this to did not flee for the hills, but stayed and shared some of her own kinks and experiences. Some of these occasions were quite memorable, in fact, downright erotic and after many years, 10 at least, I finally met a girl who is now my fiancee.

That can be tricky.

On one hand, you want to be honest because honesty is good, right? On the other hand, and in this case, honesty can get you into even more problems.

First think about everyone who could potentially find out from your confession. How is that going to set with them? How are you going to feel about it?

Case in point, I admitted my diaper fetish to a girl I had just started dating. She seemed very sweet and open-minded. Once I told her about my secret though, she flipped out and said I was a freak. She said she was going to contact my mom so that maybe I could get help, and that's what she did. My mom told her she already knew, and she didn't really care.

But what if mom didn't know and happened to agree with ex girlfriend? Things can get complicated very quickly.

If you plan on a long term relationship with someone, I'd say honesty is the best policy. Trying to hide the fact that you're into diapers is going to be a constant worry.

Personally, I think honesty is the best policy if you want to have more than a one night stand and have a long term relationship with a girl while being able to enjoy our love for wearing and wetting our diapers openly instead having to hide. I suspect that for me and others who have family members who know we wear diapers, it's a little easier, less risky to tell others.

It would be so much easier for an incontinent person to explain this. Obviously I wear diapers 24/7 for my urinary incontinence which is a medical need.

However I think honestly is always the best thing. If I had S/O I would explain my incontinence and wearing diapers upfront.

It was not an easy thing for me to segway into with my wife and I wanted to for a while. The time came when we became more and more curious about secret turn ons. Once we started sharing these interests back and forth I simply knew what I had was the best opportunity, to then "go in" with little risk. So I think it's all about getting the right occasion to let your DL out there, like when secrets or past adventures go through that sort of hostage exchange. Just continue to read the room with them and try and get to that broader discussion.

I have never formally discussed my affinity for cloth diapers and plastic pants with my SO. I thought I was very discreet in my activities but was caught once about 15 years ago. I was accidentally seen in our bedroom while I was looking at some underwear I was about to change into. She came into our bedroom when I thought she wasn't even in the house. She said "oh, you're up" and saw me and as I dropped to the floor and then jumped into bed and tried to cover up, I said "you startled me" and she immediately left the room. We never talked about it and it never came up again. I'm sure that she is more than aware, as one time a few years ago I was getting my diapers and plastic pants from where I thought I had them hidden, and when I pulled the diaper pins out, they were all strung together in a small chain. I figured she had discovered them while looking for something else. I moved them to a different location where she would not have reason to look. I haven't felt the need to discuss the issue, and she has never confronted me. It's been very private over my lifetime (or at least I've tried to keep it that way).

Eventually your SO is going to find out. Would the outcome of that be better or worse if you told her before that happens?

I have told every girl that I ever dated that I thought diapers were cool. After some giggles, they all wanted to see me in diapers. or put me in them. The maternal instinct in girls is amazing. A little teasing, then they get on board. My first wife usually demanded that I have wet diapers before changing me. My current wife of some 35 years wants nothing to do with wet diapers, but pats my diapers virtually every day. My daughter, who is now 44 years old has always enjoyed snugging up my diapers if they are droopy. It just isn't a big deal.

I am not sure. I will say this, I had alluded to having unusual sexual attractions while dating. But I never mentioned the word diaper, and I planned to basically keep the specifics vague. In a similar way, my wife had told me that she had some abuse as a child, but didn't want to give any more detail. I was fine with that.

However, I did eventually tell my wife everything. Maybe not every single thing I had tried with diapers, but certainly enough for her to get the picture. This was very early on, and we've been married over 15 years now. Do I regret telling her? No. But did it all go great and become exactly what I wanted? Also no. I would say my wife is aware of my habits, desires, etc. But she is not interested in participating. Neither is she trying to get me to stop. Basically, if I keep it private, she has no complaints.

But I'm not sure about all that. I suspect she'd rather I stop with the diapers. It is relevant that I do legitimately have mild incontinence as a result of a severe car accident and some related medical conditions. But I can get by with pads in the day, diapers at night. When I'm around my family, that's how I do it. I couldn't get by with zero protection unless I am okay with obvious leaks. So, I am going to use pads no matter what. But I prefer diapers. I also can't use pads at night, they are not effective when I'm laying down, only diapers will do.

I think initially my wife thought maybe she could wean me off of diapers. I kept telling her that it wouldn't work. Once I actually became incontinent, that settled it as far as I was concerned. I think she accepts that too. I very nearly died a few times from the accident and related illnesses, so having mild incontinence is a small price to pay.

I think my wife is very supportive even if she doesn't want to be involved. I don't really want her to be involved unless she wants to be involved. It would kill the mood for me if I knew she was grossed out by seeing me in diapers.

However, I have also told other close friends and family about my love of diapers with mixed results. Some of them get it and are cool. Some of them simply do not get it, and are permanently alienated from me. I wish in hindsight I'd have been more careful with who I talked to and what I said. All of this to say, it can go quite poorly. But it can also go well as you see from some of these stories. I supose for myself it went well enough, but not a dream come true level of good. Trust me, I am very content with what I have. But it isn't everything I want. I'd be happy if my wife was more open to seeing me in diapers and not being grossed out.