I am always nervous, even when I was with the doctor B/F, I was still nervous. Even with him I always gingerly spread my legs, embarrassed, afraid, nervous.
I used to dream about a physical with him when we were not together. I had always imagined myself saying something like, "mmmmm, like this doctor? or, Oh yes, just like that." lol, but two things would have happened, either he would have said something like, "that's not appropriate dear", or "you will either behave, or you will pay the price later, understand me?" And I would have paid the price too, and not in a good way either.
No matter how much we loved each other or what the dynamics were of our relationship at any given moment, he never ever would cross "that" line when we were in his office for real, ever! Even when I wanted him to or egged him on.
I have not had to spread my legs for anyone since him. I know that day is coming, and to be honest with you, it scares the living shit out of me.