What are the greatest things doctor says

When I'm getting a mammogram and the technician is positioning my boob between the glass plates and says, “You're going to feel a little pressure.” Yeah, right!

AMEN to that. My wife comes home and I can't touch her boobs for a week or more. I'm thinking of going with her for her next boob pressing.😎

You're fine, see you next year.

Here comes the stick. You’re going to feel a little pinch.

My pediatrician saying to me, “take off your briefs and step up on the scale”, with my mother sitting there in the room.

So many… The ultimate #1… Hmmm…

It begins with him by addressing me by my first name…

So many… The ultimate #1… Hmmm…

It begins with him by addressing me by my first name…

It would be a bummer if he had the wrong name! 😁

It would be a bummer if he had the wrong name! 😁

@Rigel,

Hmmm… There is always a first for everything… it’s yet to happen… I would definitely have a good comeback for my physician with the appropriate perfect sarcasm in relation to why I have an appointment…

@Rigel,

Hmmm… There is always a first for everything… it’s yet to happen… I would definitely have a good comeback for my physician with the appropriate perfect sarcasm in relation to why I have an appointment…

I’m sure you would! Please share!

I’m sure you would! Please share!

@Rigel,

IF and when it happens, I will😉❗️

I'll see you again in 10 years.

When I was a kid, "Ok, Mom, do't get em dressed yet. We KNEW what was coming, and WHERE it was going to go.

At 18, ok,..grab your knees, before a very cold feeling…

Now, Turn, bend…

Recently at a Colorectal Surgeon: “Can I take a peek? … Just come over to the table, pull your pants and underwear to your thighs, and lie on your left side. There you go, just like that.”

I've had a few recently after having a CT scan because of severe pain in my abdomen. They said I had fluid in the belly, my liver was shrunken and I had gall stones But my intestines were all clear, no polyps. Then sent me to specialists one was the surgeon for the gall stones. He said everyone has them and mine weren't bothering me so there was nothing for him to do. Then the liver doc, said there was nothing wrong with my liver and showed me what it looked like from the CT scan. Full size and nice and smooth just like the ones my mother tried to get me to eat when I was a kid. She said don't worry about your liver at least three times while I was there. So I've had several great statements from doctors lately. My personal doctor put me on lasix to get rid of the fluid and I'm back alive again.

Next best would be when she told me to bend over the table and drop 'em.

Good news young man. You don't have VD.

Not so much the doctor but the nurse showing you to the room and then asking you to take off all your clothes except your underwear always got me going…

My orthopedic surgeon had a good sense of humor. He prescribed oxycodone after my ankle replacement surgery, but forgot to state the number of pills on the script. We had to drive all the way back to get another written script because (in Texas) you can't call in scripts for narcotics. So we got a bottle of 30 pills. The surgery went well and I had little to no pain after I got home. I took one pill just to see what it would do - and got no effect.

When I went to get my stitches out a week later I told him I only took one pill and would dispose of the rest. He mentioned that I could probably sell them at the high school! HE WAS JOKING - NOT ADVOCATING ILLEGAL SALE OR USE OF DRUGS.

Spread your legs

This comes from my neighbor, a naturopath who does my chiro and acupuncture 2x/weekly for management of vertigo and migraine.

“Assume the position!” “You should know the drill by now!” ”Turn over!”🤣🤣🤣

“Bring your pants down below your knees.”

She said it this afternoon: Let's see that spot you were concerned about on your penis.

Before that the nurse said: You'll be wearing just your underpants and asked to remove them. Do you want a gown?

Before that the nurse said: You'll be wearing just your underpants and asked to remove them. Do you want a gown?

How'd you respond?

How'd you respond?

NO!

Certainly it is when the doctor says: "Don't worry, you are completely healthy." But honestly - it sounds much more exciting when the following is said: "Then let's start with the examination. Please strip down to your underpants. I just want to listen to your heart now. Please lay down on the table for that.”

“Lay down and lift up your shirt so I can listen to your tummy.”

“Let's have a look down there” or “there is nothing I haven't seen before”

A friend of mine growing uponce had his pediatrician say something to the effect “Can you be a good lad and pull your underpants down to here” while pointing to just above his knees……

My favorite phrase to use as a ‘doctor’ is “This is a stethoscope, it's going to feel cold. Relax and stay still, and take deep breaths for me. In… out…”

As a youngster hearing the doctor tell my mother “You need to keep his bowels open.”

Or more recently at the dentist as he was about to administer lidocaine “You're gonna feel a little prick” I wanted to say I do every day - much to the disappointment of my bride!

Please sit or lay down take of your shirt so I can listen to your heart and lungs with the stethoscope

What I look forward to most is: “Go ahead and lie back for me.” Because that signals the beginning of the examination of the holy trinity of abdomen/genitalia/prostate.