What are the greatest things doctor says

I want you to take everything, including you underwear off, and put this gown on opening facing the back.

Now i'm going to need you to turn and cough. my hands might be a little cold.

You will need to remove all your clothing to facilitate the examination.

Place your feet in the footrests and scoot down until you feel my hand on your bottom.

Relax and let your knees open as wide as possible without causing discomfort.

Just lower you trousers and shorts and I'll have a look.

"Well, your not exactly well endowed are you"

Not great, but funny.

"No, not yet" when I coughed before he was ready.

"Just relax and let your legs fall open...good...now you are going to feel my fingers..."

"Drop your shorts."

I'd like to add,

"I'd like to examine you a little more thoroughly now. This may feel a little uncomfortable..."

and the sound of instruments rustling.

Just slip your panties down...

"Scoot on down to the end of the table and then put your feet back into the stirrups."

When I was a small boy I remember very vividly (for some reason) one particular trip to the doctor with an ear infection. I used to dread these visits as penicillin injections seemed to be the answer to everything in those days. Usually I'd have my injection lying face down on the couch, but for some reason on this occasion the doctor decided that I was to lie over a chair with my mum holding my hands.

While the nurse was preparing the needle the doc said to my mum: "If you hold his hands nurse can pull his pants down when she's ready. Unless he'd like to do it himself!" or words to that effect. At the time I was horrified at the thought of the nurse doing it but on reflection it's the sort of thing I'd love to hear again as a grown-up! 😄

Other than that there is of course the story of the woman who takes her teenage daughter to the doctor. The (male) doctor takes the stethoscope to examine the daughter's chest. The girl removes her bra and the doctor says to her: "Big breaths Susie" to which the girl replaces "Yeth, and I'm only thikthteen!"

When I was little, the doctor use to tell me to drop my shorts to examine my "water works."

For me its definitely " scoot your bottom on down toward the end of the table" . For me, its usually the NP or PA that ends up telling me to undress and get into the gown. Although a few times the doctor has said that too.

We always do rectal temperature

I remember a number of things docs have said over the years. Some of them comical. I was about 5 or 6 and had a rash. The doc told my mom to have me pull down my pants so I knew the news wasn't good. Then I felt a jab in my rump. A few years later the dr was giving me a physical. He lowered my pants and examined my genitalia and did a hernia exam. I had sprouted pubic hair and he commented on my "moustache."

Take a deep breath and try to relax. This is going to hurt a bit.

'this can feel a little cold' when he/she presses the stethoscope on your chest 😜

"OK, put your feet in the stirrups and slide your bottom down to the end of the table."

"Listening to your heart now, so breathe normally."

It'll just be a bit uncomfortable i'll try and be as quick as i can

"Big deep breath. In and out. And again'

'Open wide. Say aah for me.'

'Please remove your pants and underwear'

'This wont hourt a bit'

'Just bring your legs up to your chest for me. This may feel a little uncomfortable'

When I was a kid, it was "ok, i'm just going to feel what you had for breakfast" as she probed and kneaded my tummy.

Now it's "lie back (as she pulls the extension out), relax your stomach, i'm just going to feel your stomach."

When I am the doctor, I say many things regarding the abdominal exam.

"Ok, just relax your tummy (belly, abdomen) for me."

"Can you make your tummy muscles go soft so I can feel everything?"

"I can feel your colon (kidney, liver, aortic pulse)."

"I'm just gonna feel your belly, try to relax for me."

"Now relax and let your knees fall open for this part of the exam" and "I am going to touch you now."

"Let's have a listen to your chest"

"Does it hurt when I press there?"

"Now just relax, breathe normally, and be still and quiet while I listen to your heart..."

Please take off all your clothes, I'm going to auscultate you and palpate your breasts, then we'll do a gynecological exam -

this is the kind of things I would like to say if I was a real doctor ( I say it in play exams!?

I'm going to auscultate you now! Please take your all clothes from the waist up.

"Placing the stethoscope on the back", take deep breaths with your mouth open, I want you to breathe slowly but deep.

Please cough a little for me, now take a deep breathe again.

Breathe normally now, I'm going to auscultate your heart.

Can you lift your shirt for me please

Take some deep breaths in and out for me please

Or basically anything related to auscultating a female patient.

I find it funny when my doctor tells me to breathe normally...Can anybody do that after someone has told them to? Hahaha! It's like your concentrating on "breathing normally" so your actually not, haha! 😄

My favorite ....and I cringe when I hear it come out of my own mouth ..."that wasn't bad now was it"

Oh i have had that said to me a few times, dr. T. it does rock.