Do we care if a person is gay or straight?

@DrJ said

So you're saying is way better to insult someone than use a kinder way of putting things?

Oh come on now. You must know that gay people often refer to their own orientation as gay, and those with that orientation do not usually take it as an insult if straight people use that word. There really isn't anything 'kinder' about using a word that avoids using the word 'gay'. Just to repeat, that is the accepted term by gay people.

Depending who is involved, to call them 'different' could sound like you are having a dig, and could potentially get you into trouble quite quickly. It could be seen as anything but 'kind'.

@DrJ said

So you're saying is way better to insult someone than use a kinder way of putting things?

I was trying to point out that 'different' is simply inaccurate, not kinder, just wrong. I am different to you because I enjoy sex with men and women. I am different to another bi person because we have different hobbies, or different talents. Gay is not an insult. Personally I don't really mind what others call me, you won't upset me with dyke, homo, gay, 'vagetarian' (yes I get called all the lesbian names because I like girls), but gay and bi are just more accurate than 'different'.

The word 'different' simply does not describe sexuality accurately, because everyone is different. It's like trying to call all straight people 'normal', when plenty of kinky straight people here on zity have anything but 'normal' or 'typical' sexual preferences.

Ok I see how it is, is you guy's way and no body else's. I was just stating my point of view but since it don't count I'm just gonna walk away from this conversation.

@DrJ - You have an opinion and beliefs, which you are of course entitled to, but we are giving you the facts.

I have wanted to comment on this thread since it started but wasn't sure how to say what I wanted to say without either confusing a lot of people or pissing them off. I think I now have it figured out though. So when I wake up from my nap, I will comment accordingly.

Mashie

Recently, the term "differently-abled" has become popular in schools when referring to kids with special needs. I know firsthand because my youngest daughter has autism. I don't like the term. Of course she's different, just as my oldest two are different from each other. Whatever weaknesses she may have, she has as many strengths. I've told her many times, because I believe it to be true, that God made her this way for a reason.

I recently studied La Chanson de Roland in my online class. For those who don't know, it's one of the earliest written French works and depicts a battle between Charlemagne's rear-guard and the Sarassins from Spain. One of the discussions we had was this: without me, there can be no you. Without same, there cannot be different. We all want to be same (accepted), and we shun different (other). *Think Mean Girls... we wear pink on Wednesdays* I've vastly oversimplified the discussion, but I think you can smell what I'm stepping in.

Now stop giggling that I said "rear-guard" and tell me what you think. ;-)

.....Now stop giggling that I said "rear-guard" and tell me what you think. ;-)

Are you sure you want to know?

Absolutely. I have my big girl panties on. My opinion and experiences are my own, as are yours.

There are no sames. We are all different. Any two of us may have a lot in common, but that doesn't make us the same.

I've had poor vision since birth. Sure, that presented challenges at times, but it also made me stronger. Where one sense is weak, other senses can compensate. At 63, I still have exceptional hearing.

But all this has little to do with the topic of this thread.

As I mentioned earlier I have been wanting to post to this thread but there have been a few things keeping me from doing so, time is one, also there have been some important issues on the board that we all have been dealing with, and also because I am not really sure how to say what I want to say without offending anyone. So without further ado, if I offend you please forgive me because that is not at all my intention. And if I do, please feel free to tell me and or tell me how I could have said things differently so I might not come off that way again.

I make it pretty clear that I am not at all attracted to women. Have I been with a woman or two in my day, sure I have. You know, I was in college and things happen, lol. I have no regrets about doing so, but it was then I decided women just are not my thing. I can appreciate a woman's beauty and nice body when appropriate, but sexually speaking women just do nothing for me. Even seeing women together in bed doing sexual things to each other does absolutely nothing for me. Seeing two men going at it, well, that's a whole different ball game for me, lol. Double standard perhaps?........Yes it is. Do I really care that it is?...........No, I really don't, lol.

However, with this being said I personally don't give two shits what your sexual preferences are or are not as long as they don't involve minors or cute animals, which includes gerbils which in my opinion are not cute, but you get the point I am making.

I said in my first post that I do care if a person is gay or straight or bi or trans and the entire list that goes along with anything besides being straight. But the reasons I care are not what you probably think.

I care because, well some might say I am nosy. It's not so much that is that I just don't think the same way you do and I don't understand it. Again, please do not misunderstand me here, I am more than happy for you with whatever you want to identify yourself with or as. As long as you are happy, satisfied and being treated the way you deserve to be. That's really all that matters.

If anyone knows me they know by now that when I don't understand something I will be the first to raise my hand and tell you that and ask questions I feel I need to so that I can understand. This is the case here.

Sex is sex and I guess it doesn't matter which sex you are attracted to, the concept is in my opinion exactly the same. I am only attracted to men. I love the feel of a penis in me, I love the taste of what comes out of said member. I love the feel of a mans chest hair on my skin, and their facial hair as well. I love the smell of me on their face and facial hair when they get done taking care of my business. You get the point there, but I just love men, and only men.

Also, if you know anything about me by now you know that I love psych nursing and study it a lot. And NO, I am not saying anyone who isn't straight is not normal or is psycho or anything, I absolutely am not at all. But if you know anything about sex you have to know that it's primal, it's necessary, and it absolutely has psychological features to it no matter what or with whom you identify with.

I ask questions because I don't know, and I don't understand, but I want to know and I want to understand. So when I say that I care if you are anything besides straight it's not because I want to judge you or convert you, quite the opposite. I want to learn and appreciate you for your differences from me. Me getting to know and understand you helps me down the road to help others do the same. In my opinion, it helps to break down the walls of hate that unfortunately still exist, and they shouldn't.

It's my opinion that recognizing and accepting differences are the keys to finding our similarities actually, which in the end, ultimately means finding acceptance.

Mashie

Quincy, "same" was used in the frame of reference as being accepted. Of course we're not all the same. But no man is an island.

Mashie said

. . . .Also, if you know anything about me by now you know that I love psych nursing and study it a lot. . . .

I sure am glad there are people who like that. I would pull the hair out of my head if I had to deal with people who are "not all there" on a daily basis. My hat is off to you!

Sue, I said I love to study psych nursing, medicine, and concepts. I do NOT like to deal with psych patients at all. I can't stand them to be perfectly honest with you. I also can't stand the mentally challenged or kids from a nursing stand point either. That is the beauty of nursing though, there are different strokes for different folks.

Please no one misunderstand me and what I am saying there. I do not like to do that kind of nursing, but that doesn't mean I don't like those kinds of people. I actually happen to love kids, but as a nurse that means hurting them for their own good. It also means putting them back into the hand of the parents or caregiver that I know for a fact have abused them, knowing they are just going to be abused again. Those are the things that keep me up at night crying and upset because I can't fix it. I am just not strong enough to separate myself enough to be a good nurse in situations like that, so I don't.

And we will just leave it like that.

Mashie

Mashie you are the nurse we need but not the one we deserve. The world needs more difference makers.

So, agree with Mashie here, as I have very, similar feelings. Was once offered a job, to run a woodshop, in a mentally handicapped workshop. I turned it down, as I told the person that offered the job, that I could run the shop, but cannot deal with the mentally challenged. This is not a prejudiced on my part, but I feel, inwardly inadequate to deal with those type of people. I just plainly am not talented to deal with that, as the gifted people who do deal with them, and very well!! When I was a purchasing agent, I had one of these workshops doing projects for us, and it was all coordinated by me. However, I worked with the talented people, that were in charge of this workshop, and the clients involved 😉 I was in awe, as to how these people handled it, and I would have gone "postal", there, in their positions 😉 Now, that isn't a prejudice, it's a full awareness of our talents, abilities, and most of all, ambitions!!

Just because, there are many, differing, ways that people handle relationships, and lovers, I have nothing but respect for that, but I don't necessarily, have the same, sexual interests!! To each his own, go your way, and I'll go mine, and please respect me, as I highly respect you!! Mike 😃

I don't care. I have the relationship I am looking for, I would hope that others can find the one that is just fine for them. If what they do doesn't hurt anyone else then why should it bother anyone else what they do behind their own closed doors. Some people just feel they are "better than everyone else" when they say the awful things they do about those who do things differently. Shame on them!

I am pansexual I think some ones sexuality is theres alone and we should not judge others , we are individuals in our own right and whom we fall in love with or have relations with is no ones right to judge as long as all are happy I say live and let live x

I am a "people person"... I even like people I don't like. Gender, orientation etc. is not an issue/

I don't care about whether someone likes chicks or dicks as long as they are respectful and friendly, I've had quite some girls harass me in my school already to 'try' stuff with them, that's just wrong, bothering a straight person to give it a go.

Bullying is wrong too, I hate when people judge other's on the basis of their sexuality and pick on them because of it. Homophobic shouldn't even have been a word -_-

Not at all treat people like you want to be treated

Gay or straight is the same for me, as long as there is respect. Especially on a site like this, where "unconventional" lifestyles are talked about. I experienced more respect in the gay community, maybe, but then there is a lot of discrimination going on there too ("straight looking" gays against "feminine gays" etc.). I think when a straight man doesn't have any problems with homosexuals, it proves his conviction of his heterosexuality, while others simply aren't that convinced, question there orientation, are afraid of it and feel like they have to "prove" it to others with hateful statements about other orientations.

For me it doesn't matter, as long as someone is respectful and friendly towards me, I will be the same to them. If someone is a jerk or a-hole, I can just as easily return the favor. And that goes for gay, lesbian, straight, man, woman, black, white, space alien, etc. I can get along with anyone as long as they are good people.

I think people are born with a tendency to one or the other (sometimes both)- and I say live & let live. The only people I know who have a problem with homosexuality adhere to specific quotes from the bible and are very black & white about the subject. From my view Jesus taught & led by example- he did not discriminate.

I am to the point where who cares anymore, if you are hung up either way of this , my advice is let it go, find someone who makes you happy and run with it

I could care less if they are straight or gay purple ,blue,black,yellow, whatever if they are respectful non-racist and we have stuff in common to talk about then I have no problem what so ever. If you can live your life and being happy means you do it being Lesbian,Gay,Straight so be it .Life is way way too short to be unhappy because some so-called -friends do not agree with your lifestyle.

Has ANYBODY who posted cared if a person is gay or straight?

Not that I've noted. Maybe people on Zity are just more tolerant. Maybe a member who does care whether someone is gay or straight would be afraid to comment honestly for fear of being flamed. As for me, speaking generally, I see so few happy people that when I do, their sexual preferences -- gay versus straight -- just do not make any difference whatsoever to me. That actually goes for unhappy people as well I suppose but it's too bad.

@Switchablesusie said

Has ANYBODY who posted cared if a person is gay or straight?

Homophobia is clearly banned in the rules, and those making homophobic comments have for the most part found out that here on zity those comments are generally not well received. So although there seems to be no comments here (at least that I can recall) I unfortunately think that is more due to the fact that zity is a well moderated site, with a good percentage of members, myself included, who don't put up with people idiotic enough to judge someone by their sexuality.

That is not to say homophobic comments aren't made. Unfortunately, they still are, even here. If you regularly chat, or have read enough of the discussions and photo comments, I'm sure you would have come across some homophobic comments, no matter how swiftly they are dealt with.

It seems the people making those comments, or those who DO care if a person is gay or straight, have avoided this thread to avoid being banned, or berated by other members.

No.

I'm no saint - it used to bug me, I'd worry what they would think, I'd worry what other people would think about me, but then I got over it.

Even if someone ogles me or I know they're fantasizing about me who cares? I don't have to have a sexual relationship with them. If someone asks I can always turn them down, although I do hope I can turn them down courteously. Having been one of those boys that the girls weren't exactly lining up for I know being turned down can be a not-so-nice experience. If I'm making the world a happier place then I guess that's good.

That said I know I'm not a sex god so having that happen is unlikely.

No! Of course not.