Women & Enemas - Why are most women put off by enemas?

I've been thinking, why are most women put off by enemas?

I know so many men, who are afraid to broach their wives, lovers, girlfriends with the subject. And rightly so. A woman could be totally freaked out by the thought and never look at you quite the same again.

I have always thought Spanker's have it easier than enema enthusiasts. Spanking can easily worked into a relationship, a swat here, a giggle there. If a woman doesn't care to continue or is annoyed, she'll say 'Stop'.

Maybe she'll think you're overly frisky, but not weird, freaky or perverted. I know many professional ladies, Dominas, etc. They will F*** you, S*** you, bleed you, beat you, but enemas "EW"

My thoughts on why women do not like to give and receive enemas.

Women are Romantics. Enemas = S***, poo, poop, yuk.

Years ago enemas were regularly given to children when they were sick & sometimes as punishment. A mature woman may tie the two together, enemas & children and thus be put off. I'm sure if a woman even thinks of an enema, it conjures up a messy, nasty, I have to cleanup after, thought. Many women are not into or are curious but embarrassed by the thought of anal play, let alone enemas.

Women in general, at least in this country, are brought up thinking romantic. "Some day my Prince will come"

How romantic can an enema be? You (I hope) and I know enemas can be given in a sensual, romantic way but the average woman? I don't think so.

Naked or dressed in sexy lingerie she is giving her husband, lover, boyfriend an enema. She caresses him, checks the water flow, murmurs sweet nothings, clicks the clamp on, a kiss on his rear, monitors the amount given, a lick there, clicks the clamp off, and so on. When the receiver has his full and wanders off to the bathroom. She sits, twiddling her thumbs or cleans up and waits.

Enemas are not romantic.

These are just a few thoughts, I thought I'd share. Have a wonderful day.

I believe you have something there.

Women everywhere have their monthly curse to contend with and many douche to stay fresh. They are already and reluctantly shoving something in the front; then why would they be turned on by doing almost the same thing to their derriere. Even after menopause, the disdain for the menstrual cleanup remains. Enemas, like douches are time consuming, messy and smelly and certainly not romantic. I think women enjoy nice things and pleasant smells and are most assuredly turned off by foul odors.

A mother, like you said, does it for her family members because she feels it is her responsibility. A nurse will do it, because it is her duty and 'Working Girls' will put up with the mess because they are getting paid for it. That leaves only a handful of women, who do it for fun. Hopefully they are all here on the forum.

The demand far outstrips the supply.

This is a fascinating topic.

Many women are indeed put off by or avoid "nasty things", especially anything involving bathroom activities. And as Einlauf says, foul odors. They can also be shy about certain bodily functions. How many times have you gone into a public restroom with just one woman in there, in a stall, and you know she's either going or has to go ("#2") but is waiting for you to leave. That says a lot right there!

You are right that playful spanking has arrived as a generally accepted fetish, even some mild bondage or D/s role playing, for that matter. Just consider the movie Secretary, with James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhal. It even airs on satellite/cable TV on regular movie channels. And anal sex - I think it's definitely more mainstream than a few decades ago, especially with younger people (at least here in the US - some other countries are ahead of us, and then there are cultures where women are expected to be virgins when they marry - anal sex is regularly practiced).

Enemas, however, have become more taboo than in the past. It's interesting that while other "alternative" sexual pleasures have progressed, enemas have regressed. I think this is with both sexes - not just women. Lots of guys are put off by enemas too - especially heteros who would rather get a root canal by the sadistic dentist in Little Shop of Horrors, than have anything stuck up their bottom, let alone a total invasion like an enema. I personally find a hetero male who is anally erotic and happy to be so incredibly sexy.

I can't begin to answer for other females, but I can answer for myself. I find enemas (giving and receiving with males) highly erotic and very personal, but not romantic. My ideal prince would ride in on a horse carrying an enema bag and anal toys for both of us! On the other hand, like many women (and men), I don't want anything to do with feces and expulsions. They are just plain gross to me, as is the odor - but that doesn't keep me from desiring to give and receive enemas. I just keep the expulsion part separate. And when a guy excuses himself to the bathroom to expel, I'm not bored...I'm reveling in the fact that he let me give him an enema! I mean, what a turn on!

As far as "the demand outstripping the supply" (males=demand, females=supply), it's difficult to say. Are men more inclined to join alt sex forums and chat rooms looking for enemates than women? Are women, even when members, more hesitant to openly express their views and desires than men?

Arianna

Your question, "why are most women put off by enemas?" could easily be turned around to say "why are most men turned off by enemas?"

Enemas are clearly at the top of the list of kink along with medical sex fetish (catheters, injections and the like). Go ahead, tell all your friends you give and take enemas with your spouse or S.O. for fun. Come on, do it! I thought so. You can't. You're just chicken shit afraid. You can say you spank, maybe even that you tie up your partner, but tell them you playfully flush out their chocolate highway with a couple of quarts of your favorite solution, uh-uh, no way.

I am confident that most men don't want a woman they are involved with poking into their feces any more than women want their men doing the same. We are a relatively small group of people here. There are women and men who are turned on by enemas and woman and men who are turned off by them. I would venture to say that women who own a fountain syringe and douche from time to time, have probably given themselves more enemas than men who aren't enema fetishists, because most men who own fountain syringes clearly have a fetish for enemas. The majority of men do NOT own a fountain syringe and have most likely NOT given themselves enemas, while women have fountain syringes for douching and/or possibly enemas.

The genitals are relatively clean, the anus/rectum is considered dirty. Everybody knows feces can be messy, but an enema results in something as messy or messier than diarrhea, with noises and smells that make a simple poop almost as benign as blowing your nose, and there are return trips to the bathroom, not to mention a toilet that definitely requires cleaning after use. You all know what I mean.

Enemas result in, and require entry into what is considered the dirtiest part of the body, and people understandably want to keep the contents of their rectum and the RESULTS of the enema private, and the easiest way to do that is NOT to have the enema with a partner.

Enemas certainly aren't for everyone, male or female. You either tolerate them, like them, hate them, or have a true passion for them. Not everyone is anally erotic either. Perhaps not everyone wants to admit it.

Enemas aren't included in the "normal repertoire" of sexual bedroom activities. I've never heard of enemas or anything anal as part of any sex education curriculum. When your folks held that bird and bees conversation with you, did it include "back door" information? We are molded and shaped from childhood with traditions that are within the "normal" range and anything outside those parameters are considered abnormal. Although many in the group discovered the sexual pleasures of enemas as a child, they weren't administered for that reason.

We all have a desire to be normal and accepted within our society. How often would you, could you sit around with your girlfriends conversing about your enema activities? Enemas are considered a kink. If any of my friends or coworkers were aware of my passion, they would be calling the little white wagon to haul my ass off to the funny farm.

Chalet

WOW, Great piece of work. As a male married to one woman [my first] who enjoys enemas and one [my second wife] who hates enemas, let me give my perspective.

My first wife Mary never was given enemas as a child by her parents or anyone else for that matter, she did not have a lot of boyfriends before I met her when she moved into the apartment above mine. We dated for about seven months before we married. She was never told about my enjoyment of enemas until nine years after we were married. Mary loved me deeply, we had three sons, each two years apart, she worked nights at a nursing home, that was the time I was alone to enjoy my enemas.

One night when Mary was not working at the nursing home I spilled the beans and told her everything about my love of enemas, I explained the history of how I got started as a kid in a hospital for twelve years. I also told her how erotic the enemas made me feel. When the kids were asleep we went to the bathroom, I showed Mary my enema stuff and then explained how it was used, I then gave her a demonstration on myself and she saw my penis stand at attention. After I expelled my enema Mary was eager to give it try, while she filled up with the enema we made great passionate love. After that enemas were a part of our lovemaking.

Mary's deep love for me and her williness to please was the reason she gave the enema a try, she knew that when we gave them to each other that we were in for a great night together. Mary passed away nine years ago.

My second wife however has an entirely different view about enemas, she too worked at a nursing home for many years, but she was turned completely off by enemas.

The patients were elderly and grumpy, the smell of enemas turned her off. However I did not waste any time to tell her about my enemas. About four months into our relationshih I spilled the beans and explained my history and enjoyment of enemas. On one occasion I told her I was going to give myself an enema and asked if she would like to join me, her reply was, "go ahead Hon, I'll wait in the kitchen".

After I was done with my enema session we sat down to talk as to why she was so turned off. She explained about her experiences with them at the nursing home and also the anus was only for the elimination of waste and not for sexual pleasure in any way shape or form. I respect her feelings, we don't fight over it and we have a good marriage. However my wife has softened up a bit and gives enemas to me if I ask her too, but enemas are not a part of our sex life.

The moral of this true story is two women married to the same man at different times coarse, both having medical experiance and both having a different view of enemas. However my first wife was much younger than my second wife, she was willing to try something new to her, therefore enemas made our sex lives much more pleasurable. My second wife doesn't feel enemas and sex have anything to do with one another. The reason being she has never given enemas a try and she was just set in her ways which make it more difficult to change someone.

A very interesting topic.

For years I was deeply ashamed of my interest in enemas and all things anal, and NEVER considered them as a part of sexual desire or romance.

I first became interested in enema's while watching my baby brother receive medication enemas for asthma. The girl next door with a nurse for a mother was very anally orientated and introduced me to anal insertion when we hid under her bed while she stuck a finger up her own bottom, encouraging me to do the same.

I too considered the anus and rectum as dirty and could not understand why I found these activities so appealing. I certainly did not like feaces or the smell.

Many times I fantasized about others giving them to me, but only in platonic situations.

In my teens began to notice that my female parts would become highly lubricated at the thought or experience of an enema or anal insertion.

I gave myself my first SSE at eighteen when I found my mothers higginson syringe hidden away in her lingerie drawer. I learned how to give enemas as a nursing student.

It was only when I was able to accept my enjoyment of enemas as a genuine and healthy interest that I was able to tell my husband, who actually caught me in the middle of an enema, making it very difficult to deny what I was doing. He immediately presumed it was for health, but I soon admitted that I enjoyed the feeling of water up my bottom and he willingly agreed to fill me next time, as long as I had already had a good clean out beforehand.

In hindsight I could have told him years earlier as he was quite adventurous in his own activities, and we had experienced anal sex a few times. However we split up for totally unrelated reasons a short time later.

I wonder too that many women may be secretly interested in enemas' or anal activities but are not as forthcoming with their rectal or anal adventures.

Even in the 'normal' world women do not brag about their sexual accomplishments as much either.

It is also only recently that I plucked the courage to join this site too.

I think it comes down to one little almond shaped gland that's accessable in men that women don't have - the prostate gland. It's instant gratification whenever that little puppy is petted. It's something men love once they figure it out. An a good enema means good access.

I think many things we like or do not like relate to our exposure at a young age. My wife was raised in a household where you lock and bolt the door, draw the shades and cover yourself with a towel until you are in the shower. This was PRIVATE stuff! It was not discussed, talked about or God forbid made known to others.

I on the other hand was in an environment where we view things very different. We would close the door when we were in the shower, cover ourselves for the trip back to get dressed, but we did not act as if one of the seven sins had been committed if someone came in the bathroom and we were naked.

For me Enemas were as common event as taking out the trash, moping the floor or washing dirty laundry. It was cleaning of the body, preventive care, disaster relief or fun I would guess too. How you view something is a major reflection how you were exposed to it. I am so glad that my kids (22, 18,16) have a solid belief in themselves and what they are comfortable with.

Finally...a thread I would really like to put my two cents worth of opinion into:

OK. First off, no doubt that society teaches us that the back door is "dirty" and a place we don't discuss with just everyone. For centuries, society/medicine believed that most of human's ails came from feces or the rectum, and that is why we see this thousand-year trend or enemas being over-used to clean women/children/men of their "toxins."

However, even with this negative view of the anal area, people still used enemas as a way of maintaining an otherwise filthy and nasty area of our bodies. This is why so many people of the past, especially naughty children, were given enemas as a way to remedy their symptoms.

Women have periods and other female-only health issues that men don't deal with, and, in turn, they are usually less grossed-out by their bodies and more in touch with their sexual organs...or so females have told me.

With that said, not just women, but everyone in western societies is taught to be very private and conservative about their anus and all that goes with it. It is society and all the conservative views we push on our children (little girls in particular) that warp views about our anuses, and may explain for the "female freakout" we all fear when broaching the topic of enema play with loved ones.

Honestly, the "female freakout" may be a myth just like the enema-crazed sexy model that all men fantasize about. If a lady that says she loves you freaks out about your personal feelings and fantasies, then maybe she isn't the one for you. She doesn't have to be a klismo for you or become your private enema nurse, but she should not freak out or talk general shit.

Now, according to my college human development textbook, klismaphilia is the only philia/fetish where the females outnumber the males. Fact. Traditionally, it may be a maternal trait passed down by multiple generations of mothers being taught that the enema was a tool of the domestic women to keeps her husband and kids healthy...and maybe to treat out of control kids. As a result of this, there for hundreds of years worth of children and in particular, strong women, that got both power and pleasure from enemas.

Moreover, with much more exposure to anal play, more young adults eroticized the experience, and it developed into something sexual. There are less enemas given today, and we all agree on that. No enemas in hospitals, drugstores, households, and so on. As a result, there are less of us running around, and those of us that are younger, had to stumble upon our fetish by mistake. The same goes for spanking -- less spanking in schools and homes means less chances to eroticize the experience.

Just based on the taboo nature of the anus, there will be a few mavericks that eroticize the area because they want to fight the norm, or because anything taboo gets them aroused sexually. Moreover, there are nerve endings in that area of our body that are tied to our erogenous zones. Juxtapose that with the psychological thoughts (both positive and negative) that come about as a result of an intimate procedure like an enema, and you have a sexual hot button.

While men have a prostate gland that can be stimulated, an enema can also initiate sexual arousal in a women through the inside of the vagina and other internal reproductive organs, as well as muscle groups that are shared by the vagina and anus. Anyone that wants to debate this fact should try placing a thumb on their lovers anus (gently on it, not inside) while giving oral sex...the anus well twitch and vibrate on its own as the clitoris and vagina are stimulated, and the resulting orgasm will be intense...or so my once enema-hating wife tells me (I am going to urge her to post as well).

We are all too scarred to tell the world what we really like, because no one wants to be remembered as that person that really got off on shoving things in their ass, but this is stupid. Go find some real friends that are like minded and open, and they will listen to your motivation behind you love for enemas, and they might even be prompted to try themselves. This has always been my stance, and it has had good results so far.

Naughtydoc

Doc; I believe women of today may be put off by enemas because enemas are not used for the same reason as our parents took them. Hospitals do not give enemas as they once did in the thirties and forties. Mothers do not give their kids enemas anymore because drugs are more widely used to solve the health problems that enemas once took care of.

Those of us who enjoy enemas today either were exposed to them very early in life or we found out about enemas from magazines or the internet and even from our lovers.

Where we live has much to do with whether enemas are more accepted or rejected as a part of our sex lives. For instance in San Francisco where you are Doc and the Happy Valley /Northampton, MA where I reside, there is a much larger gay and lesbian community where enemas are more accepted as a part of sexual pleasures. After all, enemas are not used for medical reasons as they once were. Many people use enemas for health reasons but the majority of us, male or female, enjoy enemas for sexual gratification.

Web sites like this one are helping greatly to educate and inform those folks who were not exposed to enemas as children of the past years once were.

As far as taking enemas for any sensual/fetish reason, it's not something to which someone (male or female) can really be introduced without them having a predisposition to like it. I don't believe it has as much to do with gender as people are saying on this thread. If a woman with an enema fetish tried to get her man into it she would get a similar "ewwww" reaction.

Most people who have a fetish had some sort of association with it in their pre-sexual years and when they became sexualized, that kink came along for the ride whether they wanted it to or not. To think that someone can automatically develop a sexual fetish for something as off the wall as enemas is unrealistic. For myself, I never had experiences with enemas in childhood and didn't really even know what they were before age 16. But when I heard about them and looked them up something struck a chord in me and it became a sexually-oriented interest of mine. However, my interest in it isn't nearly as ardent as some people whose accounts I've read on this site and others because I don't have an "ingrained" fetish for it.

As for why you might get an even bigger "ewww" reaction from women than men, perhaps it's because women take enemas, laxatives and suppositories MUCH, MUCH more than men for health reasons (and if you combine sexual and health reasons, many more women than men put stuff up their asses). As such, many women probably view it as a health-only thing and the idea of it being used for sexual arousal is off-putting.

Enemas are soft and wonderful, healthy. For me the best intimate loving-proof. I think it is a question of loving or not loving your partner. To find a partner is a big miracle, even in our field of enema-fetish.

I have this rubber-fetish also, probably that's so more exotic. With this combination, I have never found a beloved lady that shared my great love. 99,99% of the women are really put off by this??

I don't think it is 99.9% of women. I would bet it's more 50/50. Women can enjoy enemas as much as men!

The warm, comforting feelings of the enema "hug" the insides. This is really nice for women's reproductive organs, which spend a lot of the time being sore and UN-comfortable. This stimulation is relaxing and also gets the entire female anatomy "warmed-up." I usually get sexually stimulated by getting a series of enemas, both from the physical sensations and the special attentions I am getting from the Doc.

That being said, I believe younger women can start out feeling put-off and grossed out, especially if they aren't really in a committed relationship. In those situations, it's easy to just say "goodbye" to that person and their "kink."

Even in solid relationships, when the guy first starts expressing his desires, I think the initial idea of enemas can be "you want WHAT?" But once a partner has explained their feelings, understanding women can generally be turned-on to almost any kind of fetish or kink.

I also think that in general, too many women allow societal norms to dictate their bedroom lives. We get told what is good and proper, and some ladies just can't get their brains and emotions past those limits.

I really think there are a lot of closet-kinky ladies in the world, and men are just more vocal and willing to talk about it. If you think about it anthropologically, there should equal percentages of kinky men and women in the population, and thus, possibly, equal percentages of enema fans.

All very serious and genuine responses to this musing. I would also like to add that women, as a rule, are more socially aware and have a greater feeling of social responsibility and consequences than do men, in general. As such, women are much more likely to ask themselves before indulging in what feels good, "How would this look under the microscope of society?"

In a hypocritical society that is constantly judging women much more harshly on the moralistic scale than it does men, (men have to be brutal and direct in order to secure the family dinner in a competitive jungle), a double standard is set up as well.

And yes, I know a lot of progressive types of which I consider myself to be one would argue that those stereotypes are being dissolved, I would say not so quickly as you may think. And while the front runners may slowly be initiating a turn around, most women,(and men come to that, but particularly women because of the heightened social conscience level mentioned earlier),will wait until the majority is in agreement before venturing out into territory which may have any possibility of stigmatizing or ostracizing her into an impossible to get out of judgement slot. What other people think and feel still influence women much more than men.

They not necessarily should be romantic. But they have to bring a pleasurable feeling. I believe that the lack of pleasure and the fear of embarrassment are the reasons for women to be turned off. Members for both sexes opt for sexual pleasure with someone where they do not expect a romance to develop and it is quite all right. So I do not believe the key word is romantic here. What is needed is a past positive experience or enough curiosity to experiment.

I think also its the anal taboo thing that everyone is brought up on!! I do agree with all that you say ----enemas can be erotic--stimulating , sexy hot...or discipline its all in how the giver does it!!!

I totally get what the original post stated. I have only done solo enemas and can't quite see myself sharing that experience just yet. I can only say that up till now pooping has been a private event. Women are taught that expelling gas or having the "vapors" is a discourteous thing to do, and to do it near others is improper. To that thinking, I say... "Courtesy flush!" just after, or flushing while expelling will help with noise/scent buffering. I also think that the world has become too polite, and politically correct. We must think of ourselves at some point. I also believe that there is an incorrect perception that those of us that do enemas for pleasure and/or health are doing something else with the end product besides expelling into a toilet, and to that thinking, I have to personally say ewww. There was a movement a few years ago by celebrities to get a professional colon cleansing in order to get healthy... What happened to that trend? It seems that the whole enema, colo-rectal (sic) idea for good health needs a healthy dose of good research and best practices PR.

Sorry if this was a bit rambling, but oh well.

Most women complain about having to take Enema in hospital when young. Never had one and no one explained whats doing or bothered to care.

My late wife was a nurse and gave many herself, me included, and any time that she had to have one was frumpy and all, hated them.

Time passes and cancer hit 21 years later of that time. During chemo she needed Enemas and a nurse was near and gave her a fleet, she wasn't happy with that. I offered to give her one and finally she accepted. We stared out with small one and she was more comfortable but each month she was weaker and took more to make her comfy.

Finally started using a bag and more water. Given very slowly and I do not think that she had cramping. These were given every 3 to 4 days .

After they stopped the chemo everything returned to as normal as could be. Thank God no more Enemas. At least you give a very good Enema. High praise from her. Another thing, the attitude of what an Enema is I noticed that she was turned on by them.

I believe that Enemas are not for pleasure and you shouldn't get turned on by them . Then they are awful and shouldn't be taken. This by most women, but not all by any means.

Hope this makes some sense.

Most guys fear their spouses will think them as horrible perverts if the reveal their special fetish. My wife has no problem with me liking enemas. But she gets awful cramps from them and find them as erotic as a root canal. I'm not going to make her suffer just so I can get my jollies. She'd prefer I find my own play partner.

Zip

My first wife and I was into enemas. It started after our first child and she had the runs she had tried several over the counter products for it and none worked. So we tried a clear water enema on her and she said after she was through she would give me one. We kept it that way for quite a while and then after she left I continued with giving myself enemas until I lost my hot water bottle. My second wife says it is nasty and that the only reason that I am interested in it is for sexual reasons. Although I tried to show her the recipes and all she says it is just so I could get off. She won't believe what I tell her. That is one of the reasons that I am looking for someone to help me in teaching her about enemas. 😃

I have to say that my girlfriend used to absolutely balk at the idea of an enema. now though she's a lot more open and i think that part of the reason that our sexual relationship is so good is that the enemas add a whole new dimension to it.

At first she was very apprehensive about the whole thing, i had told her that they were my secret fantasy many times. she reluctantly agreed.

in retrospect, she said that she didn't like them before because the thought of having her partner or her take a dump in front of the other sickened her..

Someone else raised the point early in this thread that I'd like to repeat:

Most PEOPLE are put off by enemas.

It isn't gender specific. It is my hunch that there are likely as many frustrated women who enjoy enemas as there are men.

Women are less likely to write about their enema interests but like to combine them in romantic stories, if at all.

Great point about enemas hurting and being a turnoff for women.

Enemas probably are threatening in two ways: the nozzle and insertion can hurt and the water can cause agony if given in the wrong way.

I've known women who were given enemas by their mothers in an insensitive way who HATED enemas and wouldn't consider taking enemas as adults.

The enemas given by their mothers were usually large and painful. Some of the enemas were given to relive menstrual cramps; others were for constipation or other illness. They were given against the girl's will: they were literally forced to take them. These enemas violate the dignity and personal boundaries of the girl and are traumatic.

There is nothing pleasant or erotic about having a power struggle between a teen-aged girl and her mother settled by a forced large enema!

An enema imposed by a dominant mother or other authority figure in reality is very different from fantasy. This sort of enema is not only painful but is abusive, in my opinion.

I'm not sure how to convert a woman who has had this sort of actual experience into wanting an enema that could be erotic and pleasant.

On the other hand, I have talked with women who had not actually experienced abusive enema treatment who had a fantasy of acting it out in role playing.

Thanks for making the point about fearing pain.

John

I once dated a young woman who had been given enemas and forced to do anal sex by her ex-husband, a dentist.

She told me on our first date that I could do anything to her, but "give me an enema or have anal sex". I can surely understand that these were activities that she had come to hate simply because they were forced upon her. She had a beautiful rear end, but I never attempted to do anything which might be construed as threatening. Instead of suggesting any enema play, I concentrated my efforts on pleasing her orally, enjoying her large breasts and nipples, and regular intercourse.

We apparently are more a product of out upbringing than we would like to admit. My first wife, (now passed away) was sexually abused as a child by a farmhand that forced her to do oral sex as a child. Obviously, she would have nothing to do with oral sex, but it didn't bother me since I didn't much care for it either. Later in our marriage I revealed to her my need for enemas, and she gave them to me until I lost her to cancer. She even let me give her one, but I, not knowing any better at that time in life, did not go slowly and gently, and her cramps and discomfort kind of spoiled them for her. At that time I was so caught up in my own need for them that I was unable to comprehend that with some loving care she would probably have been a great enema partner.

My second wife had a hard, bitter, frustrated and unhappy mother who had almost finished her RN in nursing when she was forced to drop out of school because of family problems. I suspect that the enemas she gave her girls were of the "take it like a man" variety. Knowing her in her later life, I doubt she was gentle, caring or patient while administering them to her girls. And so, my present wife will have nothing to do with them. When I first brought up the subject, before we were married, her comment was, "I'm sorry for you". A few repeated request were turned down with increasing vehemence. We don't talk about them, she won't even acknowledge my interest in them, she ignores the big tub of enema stuff under my clothes in the closet, and treats them like a f*** in church. Having had enemas administered by my own mother, (also an RN) in a loving and caring way, I consider my enema sessions as true "self-loving" pleasures. In retrospect, I see her total rejection of enemas as a partial rejection of my basic needs, and ours is not a happy marriage, I suspect in no small part to this rejection.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, if you are ready to be institutionalized.

What difference, based on our upbringings!

I resonate to your problem, having much the same problem myself. My wife pooh-hoos my need (physical and emotional) for enemas, is not the least inclined to need or want an enema herself, and is totally turned off by any anal play on herself, though she, somewhat reluctantly, plays a bit with my anus when we're having oral sex. I've been patient and non-insisting with her on this, and I love her unbelievably much and long (over 60 years) so it's not a big issue -- but I wish she could learn to love anal play and even, perhaps, come to like an enema for herself.

I think a partner who doesn't take your needs, enema or otherwise, into consideration is not much of a partner. On the other hand, I think it's important to let your partner know about your enema interest somewhat early on so they can decide if the want to stick around. It's not very fair to spring the news 5 years into a marriage.

PTR

Men can be so obtuse. If men would learn to establish a proper relationship first and show proper mutual respect, love and caring they would likely get almost anything they desired from the lady. Go slow and you will get much better results.

I have been telling people that if you want to share your love of enemas with a partner, the solid intimate relationship comes first.Those who have not had enema experiences at a young age will be far more difficult to change, but it can be done.The relationship needs to be strong and trustful.That person needs to think that you and only you is the one she wants to be with and will do anything to please her lover. You have to be very smart with your presentation when explaining enemas to someone who has had no previous experiences.

It takes time and patience and a ton of love, believe me she will be your emate if you treat her right. Let the good times flow wmw/m&2yrs/Western Ma