How do I get him to participate?

MissStress beat me to it. Let him see how much it turns you on, get a little physical with him while you are filling.

If you don't think it will freak him out, and you can hold it long enough, set up your gear in the bedroom and then go down on him as you fill.

If he likes using toys on your ass, get a bulb with a decent sized nozzle and ask him to use that on you.

I agree - Open communication is always the best way - Either your partner is open and willing to try or closed minded and won't consider the subject - Leaving enema equipment around for your partner to see doesn't really address the subject of participating

I agree that honesty is the best way. I've been married for 25 yrs, and only last year did I get the courage to talk to my wife about the pleasure that the enema gives me. I explained that I had on in the hospital when I was 10, and it was tramatic at the time, but with someone I love, it turns completely different. She understood, and agreed. She even lets me give them to her once in a while, as prelude to a great nite of attention to her, including anal sex.

Hope some of the ideas work for you -- we'll be interested to hear your reports.

But I don't think there is one way. It all depends on the relationship; each situation is unique. Good luck.

Tell him that it is easier to take an enema with his help and also that the idea turns you on gets gets you in the mood for anal sax

Your husband should get a karma just for trying . Alot of us on here have a partner that will not play when it comes to enemas . You are a lucky women and your partner is very open. I wish I could take his place.lol Let us know how it cums out!

Lots of oral sex.

Seriously, it does wonders to calm the nerves. I was nervous as hell when I received my first enema, and she rubbed me down and licked just the right spots, and it made me feel quite at ease with things.

Go slow, communicate, and don't be afraid to surprise him with a nozzle. Since he's obviously anally erotic, use it as a small dildo before (and while) letting the water flow.

Also, when it comes to such play, a full blown enema usually isn't required to be nice and clean. A few bulbs ought to do the trick just fine.

Do a couple small (1 qt.) enemas to just work at cleaning him out slowly by little bits. If he wants the anal dildo bad enough he will at least try it. Be sure to wait say 20 to 30 minutes after he finishes emptying to be sure that all the "leftovers" have come out. Then have him bend over and give it to him. Use plenty of lube to keep him from getting sore. Have fun.

Just reassurance I would say...when he experiences some of the joys that are associated with what your are doing, I bet he will come around. The more pleasure he receives some ways, the more He will be willing to try. Good luck!

Do a couple small (1 qt.) enemas to just work at cleaning him out slowly by little bits. If he wants the anal dildo bad enough he will at least try it. Be sure to wait say 20 to 30 minutes after he finishes emptying to be sure that all the "leftovers" have come out. Then have him bend over and give it to him. Use plenty of lube to keep him from getting sore. Have fun.

All great advice from MissStress.

The last thing you want to do it put him off enemas forvever. So, the idea of starting small makes great sense. Even just a couple of bulbfuls would do it for the initial trial run. After he becomes accustomed to it, then you can escalate the enema size if you wish to. After all, you're in control and as long as you only push the boundaries without breaking them, he'll go along.

If you go about it right, him hearing the phrase "Time to clean you out for my strapon" will get his cock stiff before the bag is filled. 😉

AG

Oh my, I wish my wife would give me an enema 😃 and then if she wanted strap on a dildo and do me anally. I would just settle for an enema and her masturbating me a few times first. 😃That would be just like being in heaven. 😃

Using a strapon on your husband is your wish and his worry. Since he mentioned enemas to clean out first, try massaging his prostate with your finger during the session. The pleasure he gets from that might introduce his willingness for more anal play.

You are half way home, if your hubby has agreed to the strap on then the enema should not be a huge hurdle. Lay your Strap on out in the bedroom so he has plenty of visual stimulation, have your enema equipment hanging close by.......he can easily compare the size of nozzle to the dildo/strap on. Explain to him that he would not like to perform anal sex on you knowing you were not perfectly clean and that you feel the same way. He is about to become "submissive" and has literally turned the control and domination over to you. Do a series of 2 qt enemas, a soapy one, then a clear rinse, let him rest and this is where you can start the foreplay, get a slow burning fire ignited, after a 30 minute session tell him it is time for one more rinse to clean out any residue, tell him if you see anything he is going to receive more until his "male pussy" is clean and deserving of you. PLENTY of lube is the answer, and it will also act as a turn on, nothing like a male having his bottom filled with lube to get the juices flowing. Depending on how much he is into role playing, submission etc will determine how you control him. YOU know what he likes, what makes him drip, use your knowledge to take complete control of him and his bottom. Once he makes the mental connection between enemas, strap on and PLEASURE, you have it made. I'm betting that one or two slow, erotic enema/strap on sessions will have him begging. I don't foresee any major obstacles, once the trust has been established his bottom is YOURS. YOU GO GIRL!

I have been married to a vanilla woman for 48 years. If I had to do it over again I would hunt someone who is bent more like myself, sexuallyJimbeaux

Yeah but its tough enough dating after divorce, how do u bring something like that up?

He was married for 17 yrs and I'm the only other woman he has ever been with. He has 4 sisters. And he freaks out when I mention anything anal. I think I'm up a creek with out a paddle here. lol

I wish you luck, however you know your husband better than anyone. If he likes to play with your bottom, loves your butt, has put a finger or more in your bottom, chances are he will have little if any problem with an enema. If however he is "anal retentive", avoids your bottom and anus like it is the plague then I would not bet the next rent check. Every male on this site would line up to accommodate, but let's face it we are all butt lovers, enema lovers, ...... etc. I can tell you that there are plenty of men, just as there are women who find the anus, enemas etc disgusting.....my ex was one of those, I purposely let her catch me with a nozzle in my bottom many times, not once did she even acknowledge let alone ask me about my love for enemas. You have nothing to lose by asking for his help, after all he is your husband, the worst he can say is NO, but you will never know until you ask. Try it, you may just plant a seed that will grow.

Lots of really great points being made here.

Everyone is different, of course, and it seems important to me to remember that timing on any sensitive subject can make a great deal of difference.

My suggestion is to wait until the two of you are both very relaxed and have not had any recent arguments. After snuggling with him, tell him that you want to talk about something important to you that you are a little embarrassed about and get his assurance that he will listen, even if nothing else happens.

Then, tell him that you have always found enemas to relaxing and that they make you feel romantic and aroused (use the words that the two of you use when you talk about such things.)

After he says, OK, say something like, "I know this may sound weird to you, but I would really love it if you could help me take an enema: Can you do this for me?"

If he says OK, try to get him to give you a small one right then: be ready with everything before he can become uncomfortable.

Then praise him no matter how badly he does and find a way to thank him (you probably get the message here.)

Hope this helps!

John

I so want to ask my boyfriend to give me an enema after he spanks me, but i'm afraid he'll think i'm a freak, how do guys react to a woman asking for one?

You and he should both read The Surrender

by former ballerina, Toni Bentley. It will pique any man or woman's curiosity for anal play ! Have fun & go slow.

Cedar -

GREAT advice! Wouyld be a nice "coffee table piece". Might stir-up some interesting conversations!

Joe

I so want to ask my boyfriend to give me an enema after he spanks me, but i'm afraid he'll think i'm a freak, how do guys react to a woman asking for one?

Everyone reacts differently. Hopefully, he'll think it is a wonderfully hot idea. Perhaps not. However -- I've lived long enough to come to the decision that one should not hold back from sharing her (or his) desires for fear of the reaction. It is far better to be "real" and rejected than to fake it and be frustrated. Give him a try and some encouraging teasing. You may be quite pleasantly surprised. W

I wonder why it is so difficult to ask somebody for... "help"... :-) Last century there was no TV, no PC, no video games... and people enjoyed the simplest things in life like water... and its uses... The quantity of apparathus for an enema were countless. Today we can't get tired looking for a simple enema bag in a drugstore. Perhaps it is time to teach people (friends, husbands, special friends, lovers etc.) how to get fun and health in an easy, unexpensive and safe way.

Maybe he'd like to watch, and listen as you moan. I think you would have to be made of stone not to respond. OTOH, it took me a couple of years from when a friend first described it to me, till the interest in me ripened. No point in overencouraging. My wife is a definite no.

And another friend, who got an enema from his wife (a nurse) in preparation for a hernia repair, didn't seem to relate at all to the erotic aspect. Have to love human diversity!

Try taking the enema with your husband present. Don't demand anything out of him(he could even be dressed) except to be there while you are taking the enema. He can then see the "reaction" that you have from taking the enema while he is there. Then an open discussion can be had between you. If you let him participate with no other commitment to it than to be there for you, he may see how much you enjoy them. Eventually he may want to be more "intimate" with you while you are doing it. He may want to learn how to fill and insert. You can see where this is going. His participation may increase with his finding out how you react. You must respond positively to his participation so he gets some enjoyment and stimulation. Be positive and encouraging if he does do well in any part of this process. But be prepared, not everyone finds enemas or the thought of them enticing. Good luck with your husband.

Your husband has "finally" agreed. it don't sound like he is really looking forward to it. so laying out the hardware to turn him on should be let he see, and touch to get comfortable with the idea. you may want to offer to fill a fleet bottle with baby oil to lube him up. he may like the idea. you might want to offer to let him lube your strapon.

stress the lubrication to him

you might want to ask if he would like a condom on the strap on, offering him choices will give him the idea that he has some control over this.

braver man than me. i wouldn't do it, but i would think about it. wish you both the best

Just a thought, with my wife the first couple of times and occasionally since I give her a good massage first and get her relaxed. I give special attention to her rectum as we have made this a sexual thing as well. Then while giving her the enema I gently massage her abdomen and manually stimulate her. Perhaps something like this would make your partner relax a little.

Hello:

While everyone has been so kind with their advice, maybe they would not mind sharing a bit more? I am a really new newbie. I cannot tell you all how excited I was when my twin sister told me about this site. My husband and I do,l but my sister and hers are having issues.

She had to fall back to the health purposes reason about six months ago. My brother-in-law has a hard time understanding why she cannot just administer it to herself. He does like anal sex, but when he is in the mood. I really liked the entry about whose ever anus it is controlled what was going on. That is bloody brilliant! I am going to have to tell her that tomorrow.

I guess we talk to each other more than most people because we are twins. We grew up with no secrets between us. I would help her out, but I know I am not the person she wants the enema from and I live in a different city for about nine months a year. It is hard for me to understand why she has a difficult time talking to him, but I do not judge anyone’s situation. I would not want anyone judging my hubby and me.

I am not the advice giver out of the two of us, but would really like to help her. (I also do not want to sound like the preachy sister.) She wants so badly to bring this into her sex life but is having a difficult time discussing it with him let alone getting him to understand her interests.

Anyway, thank you very much for any enlightenment that you can offer and making us feel like we are not so alone or different in our interests.

Cheers!

😘Selene

I've been married to my husband for 10 years. We were both virgins when we got married and come from pretty uptight families. Over the last 10 years, he's often made comments about how "sexual" he is. Or said things about how he likes sex more than I do. Not True! I just get bored doing the same ole same ole.

I have NO IDEA how to approach this subject with him. Every time I ask about fantasies he may have (since he's supposedly soooo sexual) all I get is "I don't really have any fantasies. I just like sex" Well what kind of sex, is there anything you might like to try? "No not really, I just like sex". I thing h's full of crap (no pun intended) He's got to have fantasies of some sort. He's just to scared to tell me about them. UUUGGGGHHH!

I have no desire whatsoever to recieve an enema. Nor do I want to hear/see/smell him expell his. I just like the look of the swollen belly, and the idea of making him a little uncomfortable. Wierd? Maybe.

Hi Selene, welcome. There have been many suggestions posted earlier and maybe some of them would help. My husband likes anal from time to time but is also grossed out by enema stuff and even by his own rear at times. I have asked him to administer anal medication to me that I actually did have to take at one time and he wanted absolutely nothing to do with it. If I get him drunk enough, he generally tends to be more relaxed and experimental not to mention the fact that his hard-on lasts a lot longer as well. Good Luck.

Thank you to all. We have offered Bri's husband about every thing from excuses to reasoning to bribes for him to engage with her. My ideas went bust awhile ago. Even went as far as offer four cheeks up- after all we are twins. 😉 We did do it for my husband. However we were quite pissed, and he had the twin fantasy. As I try to think back there was quite a bit of scotch induced negotiations and that was where we ended up-so to speak.

I guess they are to the impasse, ultimatum, tantrum, therapy or impasse.

I am sorry again to the individual who emailed me. I was serious. This was a real problem and I was asking for ideas as we were out of them.

Thank you to all for the welcome. Apparently we were not as mad as we thought. Oh, jags, in or out of the scum?

BTW, Selene meant drunk when she said pissed. She forgets sometimes that not all words translate completely. We have a bit of a transatlantic family and little things like language escape the professor from time to time. Can't you just hear the blond?

Thank you for the warm reception and civilities.

Bri and Selene.