How do I get him to participate?

I don't have the faintest idea how to approach my husband about giving me an enema. It has been my desire for 17 years. How do I ask him? ???

[quote author=MWhiteh567 link=topic=1425.msg10025#msg10025 date=1202279396]

I don't have the faintest idea how to approach my husband about giving me an enema. It has been my desire for 17 years. How do I ask him? ???

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The first thing you could do is "pretend" you need an enema for 'health" reasons..Tell him you've been constipated for days and called your doctor and they recommended that you take an enema..Go buy one of the "fleets' at the drug store..Have him give it to you as its too difficult for you to insert and inject...

Wait a few minuteds.evacuate and then tell him it really didn't work...Go dig out (like its been tucked away for years) your Doucehe bag and tell him you think you can take a better enema this way.....Again ask him to help...Most men will at least assist their wifes if they think its for 'health" purposes..During this enema, turn onto your back and reach over and hold him..Maybe rubbing his crotch..Ask him to massage your tummy and really "get turned" on...If he is a "real man" he will get an erection and then after you expell this enema.Take him to be..

Just tell him ...Damn I don't know if it was just getting rid of the constipation or the enema or both..But honey i'm so horney i want you....

Michael2

Why not call him up at work and ask a favor tonight. Tell him you need his help with something personal. Either tell him you need his assistance with an enema for health reasons, tummy ache, cramp releif etc and say the doctor recomended an enema. Or don't tell him you need help with a enema but when he gets home have every thing ready in the bed room and instruct him on what you need him to do. Or just ask him how he feels about helping you with an enema. I have been married for 20 years and when I asked my wife if she would do an enema with me she declined but said she didn't mind my taking them while she was home. May be one day she will help?????

You show me a man that will not give his wife an enema, and I will show you a neighbor that will!!

Interesting subject. I love the statement above, but I will change that to "You show me a wife that won't give her husband an enema and I will show you a neighbor that will". Does anyone believe that or is that a complete fantasy statement? Has anyone, both male or female have any experiences they can share about the neighbor willing to help? That was always my fantasy when I was growing up.

How familiar is he with enemas and were his childhood experiences very negative. I would ease into the subject by letting him become aware that you are taking an enema on occasion. Leave your enema bag hanging in the shower after use. If he is inquisitive, let him know that an enema is the best remedy for whatever is ailing you at the time. Be upbeat and flirty after your enema so that he sees the positive effect.

When he is in the mood and making overatures, you might try putting him off a bit. You can use bloating or constipation as an excuse. Delay lovemaking long enough to solve those issues by taking an enema. If he is hovering, let him watch or ask him to assist you in some way. If he is willing, make sure to show your appreciation. It may be a slow process, but he may realize that his needs are met with more enthusiasm if yours are satisfied.

I can speak first hand, where I had a neighbor (female) who was more than willing to give me an enema when I asked her. I'm a male 45 soon to be 46 and my wife thinks enemas are gross. Over our 17 years of marriage she has let me give one enema. What she won't do, there's always the neighbor to help out.

I'm in the same boat as you and the constipated approach won't work he'd just hand me a laxative.

For enema lovers who are having a hard time sharing enemas with your spouse.Sometimes you have to be ceative with your ideas because there is no set formula,everyone is differant.There is already plenty of suggessions on this site to fill a book.Don't be afraid to talk about how you feel sharing enemas.You can do it,but keep at it and don't give up.A winner never quits,and a quitter never wins.Let the good times flow.

w/m 72yrs/W.MA

Great! Here is another example of explaining at the right time what turns you on and what can happen as a result!

Most of us are not finding willing partners because we are not being clear with ourselves or our partners.

I would personally reccomend the in the bathtub, with water and bubbles too. He could just be in the room while you take the water. You do the filling, the inserting, and then sit back. If he's comfortable being in the room while you get an enema then maybe after a couple of times you could discuss how they make you feel. Get him so he's closer to you each time. Stroke and gently give his genitals attention so he can start to associate the enema with sexual feeling too. Do you get the drift of this. Start if off safe and him not being involved. Then slowly work him into the enema. Maybe the expelling isn't his thing. But if he can just see how they affect you sexually, he may take a little interest in being there with you while you take them.

I had sort of the opposite experience. I shared with my wife early in our marriage that I was interested in enemas and other anal pleasures. One day she told me she was constipated and I volunteered to help her in her distress by giving her an enema. I'm pretty sure she was just curious about it. I gave her the enema and we made love after but the experience has not been repeated since. She is very shy about talking about sex in general so I haven't had the courage to bring up the subject again. She does seem to be turned on when I massage her anus during love making, so maybe there is hope.

After reading all the replys on the subject of convincing the spouse to or share enemas,the one thing I noticed we don't approach our love of enemas early enough in the marriage or relationship.All of sudden we are surprised that he or she thinks our enemas are gross.I made the same mistake with my first wife,I held the secret for ten years before telling her about my enemas.When I finally broke the news,I was shocked by the way my wife took the news of my enemas.Her reply was,WHY DID YOU TAKE SO LONG TO TELL ME.From that day on until we split up nine years later,we shared enemas everytime we made love.On several ocassions,my wife would just shove the nozzle up my ass while I was sound to sleep to get me horny and make love to her.

To all the guys and gals,learn this lesson,if you're into enemas,don't waite 'tl the cows come home to tell your loveone.Let the good times flow. w/m72yrs/Western Mass.

I agree with those who think it can be a difficult subject to bring up. My boyfriend, who is wonderful in bed, has mentioned that his grandmother gave him enemas as a kid and he hated them. I have tried surfing the Net with him and hinting. I have tried a 'water dream' idea. He is not nearly as into anal as I am. He knows that it totally rocks me, but often he cannot keep an erection doing anal. He says it's just 'different.' I think (and am afraid) that he had a bad experience with enemas and now anal fun is something he does only because he loves me so much. Maybe I just think I've 'told' him or hinted enough, but he still has no idea? Yes, rejection is a big, huge risk. Afraid to take it but afraid to pass up the chance of a lifetime of true intimacy....

I think the idea of trying the douche in the shower is a good start.

I wish I had your problem! I'd love for my wife to take the initiative and give me an enema. The approach that I'd like is for her to "take charge" and order me to undress and get ready for a big "surprise." Please let us know how you decided to handle this. My hunch is that your husband will find it very erotic. Regards -- Male, age 60.

My parents never gave me an enema. In fact, I never heard of one until my girlfriend in Jr. high told me about them. From that, I developed a fantasy about a Prince Charming that came to my bed and gave me an enema. I never attempted to give myself one.

About 6 months after I got married, my husband and I were discussing personal fantasies and I told him mine. I asked if he would make mine come true. He said yes if I would help him with his. It took several tries to get it right, because neither of us knew what we were doing (this was before the internet) but we still have fun with it.

Paddles, its not nice to leave us hanging by our S hooks like that 😉 C'mon girl, what was his fantasy?

Lady Di, His fantasy doesn't fit this group at all. It's a food-sex thing with him. Hmmm is that the opposite of me?

I told my husband about enjoying enemas when we were dating 20+ years ago. He gave me a few, but I could see his heart wasn't ever really into it. After we got married he completely stopped even though I've tried all the usual things...leaving my bag out in the bathroom, putting out a small bulb syringe in the bedroom, writing him notes telling him what I'd like him to do to me, telling him fantasies. He's just not into it. Thankfully at least we do both share a love of spanking, so I guess I shouldn't be greedy, but I would just love it if he would surprise me with one, or more, one day. I've even told him, half joking, that if he wants to guarantee sex pretty much whenever he wants it, all he has to do is get out my red bag...or find one of those old white metal cans... 😉

Jae

It's hard to answer your question. After 17 years you would think that some kind of communication betweenn you and your husband would have been established. NOW that being said, I do realize that not EVERYTHING is conveyed to a spouce or lover. But honestly, for a relationship to work there has to be communication. By not having that communication (which applies to every intimate detail, wants, fetishies, desires.. the relationship will be rocky as far as personal wants on both parts. You and Him.

He may have diresires that you are unaware of.

I do have to say tho, that leaving "hints" isn't a bad idea Don't force anything upon a unwilling person.

I would suggest that before any sexual encounter with him.. before the actual act begins... tell him you would like to "talk about something YOU desire". I think his penis will be the gauge to determine his reaction.

I think its a good idea to approach the guy, before marriage or committment. If he is not into it, then best to move on. As can be seen from this site as well as may others , its not something that is limited to just a few people.

The shower idea is the best if you have a good lively sex life, i'd use the health stuff as a last resort, but chances are, if you tried the shower idea, by the time you get to the health idea, he pretty much knows what's up, he either does or doesn't jump on in there

Do what i did i told my hubby that my dr said i needed one and he gave one to me but i havent been able to get him to give me another one he is just not into it but i got really turned on just by him agreeing to give me 1 but i will keep trying to get him to give me more

or u could tell him u r constapated and ur pharmist recomended one that might work too

Always use the medical reason for a neutral to negative partner, then they will usually become more accommodating and into it. Focus on older people who are more likely to haave had the experience and try using the word casually to see if you get anything but an uninterested reaction

On the other side of the coin, I am a male wondering about how to do that with my now ex wife. I have been into enemas since early teens and wanted to experience this with my then new wife. I was lucky, she had a douche bag, I faked constipation and she offered to give me an enema. She gave me two that evening and then made love, and have to say I was so horny, 19 or 20 at the time. After that I told her that the enema really turned me on and she gave to me for another 20+ years until we divorced. Only thing I really miss about her sorry to say.

I had a really hard time bringing it up to my wife too. I just kept lightly pushing the envelope until she realized that anal play felt good. The rest was just step by step progression until now we both enjoy enemas, anal toys and even anal sex.

I would try asking him for a little anal rubbing during oral sex and let him know how sensitive it is. Show him how it arouses you with heavy breathing and comments (that shouldn't be too hard because you already like it) and tell him how you think you might like to do more. If you're really anal erotic and have considered anal sex, bring that up and his reaction may be very positive. If he's interested then enemas are the next logical step in the anal sex progression.

If you want to do it to him you might try saying you read an article about prostate massage and how healthy and pleasurable it can be. If he brings up the gay thing, just tell him that anything done between a man and a woman is by definition heterosexual.

You could also try finding a good anal play enema play video especially if it ends in full anal intercourse. The first time my wife saw a video showing anal lubing, fingering and full penetration she became very excited and I knew I was going in the right direction. It took literally years to make the whole trip, but every time she slides the nozzle in my ass and strokes my cock as she releases the clip or I fully enter her clean and slippery ass I am thankful I had the patience not to push the progress.

I also once read some good advice that stated: "The owner of the anus is ALWAYS IN CHARGE of anything that gets done down there. Knowing that you as the owner can stop any time gave my wife a lot of confidence to keep trying.

Get the bag ready, ask him if he's ready for fun and then do it.

What does he normally do while you are giving yourself an enema.

This could become a part of the anal sex foreplay ritual. He goes into the bathroom to prepare the enema. Then calls you in for it.

The no give enema, no anal sex line would also be appropriate.

Try having him just snuggle up with you while you are being filled. That is how I started participating with my sub's enemas (besides having sex while he took an enema). Then with him so close you might have your hands wandering to his bits and he would be turned on too. Take small steps to get him "involved".