Who really is a VIRGIN ?

Confucius say: ... " virginity like balloon, one prick all gone ! " ...

Del

Sad to say i am definitly not a virgin

i lost it when i was 17

however when i was 7-8 i used to love the feeling of rubbin my own pussy

I am still a virgin, just waiting for the right one or marriage.

I was 17 when i lost my virginity but it was my choice and i ended up marrying him and still together 5 years later

Well I lost my virginity to my husband. I lost it to him when I was 19 and he was 46 lol! So I ended up falling in love with the man who took mine 😎

[quote author=m3lyc link=topic=13642.msg295785#msg295785 date=1274987310]

I'm a virgin, waiting for the right girl. I do not believe in prostitution or one night stands.

Lee.

[/quote]

I think it is admirable for you to remain celibate until you find the right person, and I assume, maybe incorrectly that you mean to wait for marriage. But, I have to say that having sex with someone who you will not marry or have a long term relationship with isn't bad or wrong. As long as you aren't taking advantage of anyone, and the two of you "know the score" and the orgasms aside, the companionship and closeness experienced during sex can be wonderful.

I also do not believe in prostitution for myself, but I don't think there is anything wrong with paying for sex. It isn't any different from other commodities or services. Really, it isn't. That isn't to say that I would do it, but it can be right for some people. As far as one night stands is concerned, in the right set of circumstances, it can be a lot of fun as long as you practice safer sex.

Lastly, I hope you experience more than just the "one" right person so you know what you are getting into. I don't think you would go out to buy a car or a house and only test drive one.

Not marriage, Just the right girl. That was an interesting post, thanks susie 😃

I lost my virginity when I was 14. I never had any intention of waiting till marriage. What if you wait until your wedding night, then find out you're not sexually compatible with the person you just committed the rest of your life to? I would also be concerned, if I was marrying someone who was a virgin, that at some point in our lives they would wonder what it would be like to have sex with someone other than me. I'm not sure I could ever trust someone who hadn't had other lovers not to stray at some point. I think virginity is overvalued in our culture anyway.

There is only one way to have sex, the penis must be inside the vagina. That's what determines if you are a virgin. Look it up. You can give your opinions on the topic, but if you want a definition, this is it.

Anything else you do with your genitals aside from urinating, whether alone or with another person or people, is masturbating.

"Oral" sex or "anal" sex isn't sex.

You can make love when you have sex, but having sex is NOT making love.

Two women or two men doing whatever with each other's genitals also is NOT sex. It is masturbating. The number of ways to masturbate is almost uncountable. The number of ways to have sex [not counting positions] is ONE.

I lost my virginity to my boyfriend/husband to be/sub to be about a month after we'd started dating. I was around 21. Don't remember much on the pain part, just the emotional part. I'd given something up that I could not give away again. Though it has worked out well since.

Strangely the person who started this thread back in October 2008 has never logged in again since that day...I wonder what that tells us, nothing I guess...

But yes hymen or no hymen the girl/woman loses her virginity when the penis penetrates her vagina. I'm not sure technically how far it has to penetrate? Perhaps all of the head but I guess that would be difficult to ascertain anyhow and would be the woman's call I guess.

And I'm not sure if the lose of a man's virginity is classed as the same thing really, more a rite of passage perhaps.

But beyond that it does sometimes happen that the woman remains a virgin after her marriage... It's not very common but in some cases the inexperienced man is unaware that he isn't penetrating her vagina and she is not sure exactly what she should be feeling, and ejaculation takes place outside, normally inbetween the labia. It's a question doctors often ask couples who are having problems conceiving.

Dr Philip - The UK Play Doctor.

Not to be a nit picker but can we pleeeease correct the grammar in the subject of this thread haha...it know its the conversation about the topic that is the important thing but every time i see it, it drives me up a wall! i might be crazy but i think it should say "who is really a VIRGIN?" thanks! 😃

Thanks idoctor21 for raising this point, and thanks Switchablesusie for taking the necessary action. There are quite a few other ungrammatical or incorrectly worded thread titles on this board, and I asked some time ago if these could be corrected, but there didn't seem to be any great interest in doing so at that time.

So if any of the moderators feel like going through the thread titles and cleaning up the English, I for one would be very grateful to them.

Sorry to have sidetracked this thread. I hope that others will get the topic going again.

I'm one... just waiting for the right person to come along. There's no rush, so to speak.

I lost mine at 16 to an old boyfriend. Ah, the wonders of young love!

I saw this definition of "Virgin" on YouTube and thought it was funny. Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gd3oYFS9g9I

I find it rather odd that people deny themselves the pleasure that sex brings.

The capacity for pleasure is a bit like the capacity for economic consumption, some times the long term benefits of patient self-restraint outweigh the momentary satisfaction of indulgence...

[quote author=HumblePatient link=topic=13642.msg297307#msg297307 date=1275842233]

The capacity for pleasure is a bit like the capacity for economic consumption, some times the long term benefits of patient self-restraint outweigh the momentary satisfaction of indulgence...

[/quote]

What kind of benefits might one reap from years of self-denial of sexual pleasure?

Depends on the reasons why the person is doing it, and what you mean by "self-denial" in terms of sexual pleasure. If we are just talking about virginity for example, remaining a virgin for a period of time does not necessarily mean a complete denial of sexual pleasure. It just means an absence of vaginal sex.

Also, I'm not sure about what you mean precisely by "years" of self-denial? Even within a marriage, periods of brief abstinence can bring about heightened pleasure in the long run by building up the anticipation of the event.

I mean, not to be crude or anything, but even when I was a teenager and masturbating, I would deliberately not permit myself an ejaculation for days at a time (a VERY long time for a teenage boy) simply because it produced mind-blowing orgasms when I finally did give in.

But bottom line, nothing done frequently is as pleasurable as it is if it is done less frequently. I don't know the reasons for this, but I imagine it has to do with neurotransmitters in the brain... Regardless, my life's experience has taught me that a certain amount of self-denial actually ENHANCES sexual pleasure.

The same concept (at least for me) applies to almost any pleasurable activity. Abstain from your favorite food for a while, and when you finally do eat it, the pleasure derived from the experience is significantly heightened.

I have to disagree about abstinence making the heart grow fonder, whether it be abstaining from sex, certain types of sex, or food, or whatever. I just find it to be frustrating.

The "years" comment is in response to those who are waiting until marriage or something like it to lose their virginity. I understand why people abstain from sex during periods of soul searching or whatnot. Sexual energy can temporarily redirected into other endeavors. I get that. What I don't understand is why someone would make a commitment to spend their life with someone without having any idea how sexually compatible they are with the person first. It's good business for the marriage counselors and divorce lawyers, I guess.

"I have to disagree about abstinence making the heart grow fonder, whether it be abstaining from sex, certain types of sex, or food, or whatever."

Just to be clear: My point was not that abstinence makes the heart grow fonder (especially when it comes to sex). My point was more related to the brain's ability to process pleasure when the same stimulus is applied multiple times. The first piece of chocolate cake is fantastic, it is less fantastic after the third or fourth piece.

As far as sex goes, particularly from the male point of view (never having been a female, I can only speak as a male), there is a direct connection between the intensity of my orgasm and the quantity of available semen to ejaculate. It is a simple reality for me that delaying orgasm to maximize my semen output will also maximize the intensity of my pleasure. The heart has nothing to do with it (beyond it's ability to pump blood to my penis).

Abstinence may make the heart grow fonder (I don't know?), but that was not my point...

A few reasons one might abstain from sex would be STD's or all the bad sex partners one might have to experience.

[quote author=MissStress link=topic=13642.msg297381#msg297381 date=1275879530]

A few reasons one might abstain from sex would be STD's or all the bad sex partners one might have to experience.

[/quote]

Well, condoms can take care of the STD issue, and as far as bad sex goes, the saying is, "Sex is like pizza, even when it's bad, it's still pretty good."

I have to disagree about abstinence making the heart grow fonder, whether it be abstaining from sex, certain types of sex, or food, or whatever. I just find it to be frustrating.

Life is short take every opportunity to obtain the most enjoyment out of life while you can or you may miss the chance to ever enjoy anything.

Anne,

I'm sorry, I still am not sure what exactly you are arguing for or against? I get that you don't think that there is any legitimate reason for abstaining from sex. I disagree and waited (quite a while) until I was married and don't regret the decision in the least. But I certainly am all for sex in general (both for it's pleasurable aspects as well as it's importance to the continuation of the species).

Some people abstain because they believe it enhances the value of the act within the context of a marriage. Some people abstain because they believe there are emotional consequences that come with the act and don't suffer those consequences lightly within casual relationships. Some people abstain for religious reasons. Some people abstain because of psychological damage inflicted on them in past. And some people like me abstain (for short periods) because they believe that an inverse relationship exists between quantity and quality when it comes to orgasms...

Whatever else sexual pleasure is, it is certainly not obligatory and I think everyone is perfectly entitled to have as much sex, or as little, as they want to.

Nor do I buy the sexual compatibility argument as being the requirement of a successful marriage. If the sexual attraction is there, and both partner's equipment works, and they are committed to marriage, everything else can be worked out. The big problem with basing a marriage exclusively on sex is, what if something happens and one of them is incapable of sex? Say the man becomes impotent, does that mean that the marriage is over? The other problem with this is that if you are not "sexually compatible" with one another, what that really means is that one or both partners aren't communicating what they want/need. And that is a communications issue that is symptomatic of a much bigger problem within the marriage...

The other problem for me with arguing against being willing and able to abstain from sex is that marriage, in general, implies a willingness to restrict your sexual activities to a single partner, and if one partner is unable or unwilling to say "no" to outside interested parties (even incredibly HOT interested parties), then lack of restraint is likely to be the end of the marriage. And no matter how exciting your spouse may be when you marry them, after a few years the excitement wanes and the promise of other, more exciting partners, may beckon you to try something new. So much for marriage...

True Anne. I like Humblepatient will take the good over the bad any day. Though it seems if you don't have the bad, you don't really appreciate the good(whether with food, people, or sex).

Okay, I will just come out and say it - I think waiting until marriage to engage in sex is deeply silly. Having said that, I'm sure I just offended half the people who posted on this thread. I know it has worked out that way for a few of you, and it's worked out well. May you continue to have happy and fulfilling marriages.

I think it's destructive to society in general to expect people to abstain from sex until marriage. It elevates virginity to some golden status; girls who chose to lose their virginity before marriage are often the victims of harassment and ridicule. I also believe, based on personal experience, that this practice creates a very sex-negative environment.

However, I NEVER wrote that there is never a legitimate reason for abstaining from sex. That would be an inanely stupid thing to claim. There are lots of good reasons:

1. As I wrote in my last post, looking for spiritual enlightenment or simply wanting to be alone for a while are great reasons, because sex can be a distraction and an energy drain.

2. Many people abstain for health reasons.

3. For some people, abstention itself is part of the sex game . There are links and threads all over zity.biz about orgasm denial as a part of discipline and BDSM.

4. And finally, no one should have sex unless they are emotionally and physically ready for it.

My position is that I don't think that a lack of a marriage certificate belongs on the list.

Lack of sexual compatibility has, and does ruin marriages. We may not want to believe it, but it's a fact. There are people on this site who will testify to that.

Hope that was clear enough.

Two more things-

This one will undoubtedly get some folks up in arms. I understand that some people abstain from sex for religious reasons. I do not get that at all. Life is short. Life is a gift. Enjoy it! It's inconceivable to me that God would create something as beautiful as sex, and then forbid it. But if you believe that your God frowns on vaginal-penetrative sex, what makes oral or anal sex any different? (From a religious point of view, that is)

And last - good pizza? Bad pizza? What?? ??? Eat it, or don't .It's all the same freakin' pizza,man.

Sorry, I have one final thought on sexual compatibility.[quote author=HumblePatient link=topic=13642.msg297590#msg297590 date=1276031851]

The big problem with basing a marriage exclusively on sex is, what if something happens and one of them is incapable of sex? Say the man becomes impotent, does that mean that the marriage is over?.

[/quote]

Of course it would be inadvisable to base a marriage exclusively on sex, but a marriage in which either party is dissatisfied with the sexual aspect of it will result in years of misery and erosion of the marriage, no matter how compatible the couple might be in all other aspects. We might like to think we are above the physical (maybe it makes us feel "shallow") but like it or not, our sexuality is an integral part of us.

So what happens if something dreadful happens that renders one of the partners incapable of sex? With sexual compatibility, it is not the PARTS that are important, it is the attitude and the desire to please one's partner. If my significant other were suddenly impotent (God forbid), I know that he would try to please me in every other way possible: fingers, tongue, dildos, enema nozzles... well, you get the idea.

[quote author=Anne B link=topic=13642.msg297802#msg297802 date=1276140168]

Sorry, I have one final thought on sexual compatibility.

Of course it would be inadvisable to base a marriage exclusively on sex, but a marriage in which either party is dissatisfied with the sexual aspect of it will result in years of misery and erosion of the marriage, no matter how compatible the couple might be in all other aspects. We might like to think we are above the physical (maybe it makes us feel "shallow") but like it or not, our sexuality is an integral part of us.

[/quote]

Well said, and a point that is not often made, I think. Thanks