No butt play for lots of women

I’ve started looking at Reddit about a month ago. One of the sub categories is Ask Women. One of the postings was the question to women, What are your boundaries when it comes to sex. Some answers were no choking, no cumming in my mouth, and no threesomes. But, there were a lot of no pee or poop and most of all, no butt play. Answers like don’t touch my butthole, nothing going in my butt, stay away from my butt. This kinda baffled me because I thought pretty much everyone enjoyed a little rear time. I guess not!

I will only say that any woman who does not like her butt being played with will never know what she is missing.

I really do believe that most women that say that either had a bad anal experience or they have always thought it to be a dirty act that should never be done. I think more women should give it a try. Anal orgasms are amazing!!

I used to be one of those women! My biggest obstacle was a horrid experience with a past partner. He is an idiot 🙄 and ruined such a beautiful experience for me, from a young age. It's infuriating to know there are people like him out there, that can crush a woman's right and need to enjoy anything anal.

I was lucky enough to have found a gem in @AnthonyRT! In him so eloquently introducing me to his rectal thermometer fetish, he ultimately guided me towards that safe place I needed, to fully comprehend, explore, and understand that my past horrid experience needn't have blockaded any of my future sexual endeavors! In other words, my past experience with anal sex, at the time, solidified in my mind that I wanted nothing whatsoever to do with anything anal, sexually. Meeting Anthony, that all changed due to his kindness,patience, love and tenderness towards me ❤️❤️.

I would wish that for every woman, as there really is so much pleasure to be explored when the anus is involved, for sure 🌡😁😉

Agree with @Lookslikebetty and @Shygirl17 There's a lot of stories like that on Zity and just among women in general. My bottom has been cared for in much more sensitive, tender (and naughty😇) ways by women than by men. I don't think I've given up on guys... just for a while.

Greetings all

I can't say I agree at all with the opening theme of this thread. If anything I see a LOT more ladies trying and enjoying anal sex these days. In the past year I've met a number of younger women that are on board with AO - Anal Only sex. There is even an AO web site. They tout anal as being a natural birth control without the use of heavy hormones taken daily and much stronger (and achievable) orgasms. For starters they advise 'newbies' to wear a butt plug for a week or more to get used to having something 'back there'. For prep they advise using a small enema syringe and take a couple of quick flushes before performing anal sex. For partners they want partners to go slow, use a glove with lots of lube and loosen things up first. Judging from all the enema gear and butt plugs sold on Amazon these days I'd say anal sex is becoming MORE popular.

Personally I've enjoyed anal sex since I was 16, I had a great older lover that knew exactly what he was doing. Back then I had been using enemas for menstrual cramps since I was 14 so I was used to a little anal play. The third time I had intercourse it was anal which I found more comfortable than vaginal at the time. As I grew older vaginal sex became great but I always craved some anal sex. My late husband loved anal sex as do I still.

BJ

The main issue I see with anal play is that it is not beginner friendly. The guy needs to go much slower compared to vaginal sex, and the lady needs to be even more relaxed than with regular intercourse. Lube is also required, and not every beginner has some. A preparation enema is adviseable to rule out nasty surprises. So when even vaginal sex can go wrong for beginners, it is no wonder that it goes wrong all the time with people trying anal for the first time. I know from my first personal experiments, when you are not yet proficient it can get VERY painful at any moment and can see how that might get women into a "never again" stance.

I have come across some "no butt play" girls and have found that it was generally because of a bad past experience. I have found that very light butt play like RT or inserting a suppository can do wonders in slowly reawakening anal interest. The key is every experience needs to be good, or it is instantly back to zero.

What I haven't come across yet, is the mentioned "Anal Only" type. Could this be a regional trend that didn't spread all the way to germany?

I think I agree with @BigJane that anal sex seems rather more popular among women (& straight men too) both giving & receiving than was the case maybe 20 years back. I still think it's a shame that more women & their men aren't willing to experiment with a little butt play. Doesn't need to be full on fucking, a lubed finger (gloved or not) a small vibrator or mini sized dildo all seem good places to start. If someone really does not enjoy the sensations involved at least they will have tried, on the other hand they might just turn into full blown anal erotics such as often put in an appearance here on zity!

If the occasion arose this is how I would introduce a curious lady to this activity. Presume that she trusts me and yet is interested but reluctant. Me. We will go only so far as you are ready for. The best position for you might be over my desk as if you were going to have a spanking. If that is ok we will start with your clothes on. I will begin by caressing your bottom and inner thigh. During that if you spread you legs I will slip your skirt up and continue until you lower your panties. Go slowly and enjoy if you can. That's very nice You are lovely back here. I am going to blow lightly on your opening. Is't that nice? Now that is enough for now. Let me give you a hug and kisses and we will continue next time starting from the beginning. Thank you for being so lovely.

Call me when you are ready for more.

As one who thoroughly enjoys "butt play" or anal stimulation, I find it challenging when a partner or spouse is adverse to their own stimulation involving the "back door".

I am fortunate to get some satisfaction wherein an enema/douche nozzle finds that magical spot and triggers the prostate to do it's thing. Conversely, I do find that I can stimulate the perineal area from the backside of the vagina to the anus without actual penetration that is forbidden. The orgasms seem to be far more intense.

Aside from a nozzle or dildo, I haven't experienced anal intercourse. It is certainly intriguing. It may be that the closest thing is the enema play or medfet related exams. I have experienced pegging that followed a good enema series from a "professional" nurse. It was enjoyable and triggered some full body orgasmic bliss!

Just an idea, and I’d love if some of our ladies could respond: I wonder if it’s because us men have a prostate, so it’s more pleasurable “right off the bat” (for “many” men ,of course not all), whereas a woman has to get more in the mood and also be sexually excited and aroused in order to initially enjoy anal activity ?

For example, I can enjoy getting a pegging from a woman (or a guy) without touching my cock and it’s so pleasurable. From what I understand, in general it’s not like that for ladies, as clitoral /vaginal stimulation is needed simultaneously with a hand or a vibrator , during anal activity ..

No butt play - definite the case with 1st wife. Long term gal after that was really okay with it. 2nd wife after that was moderately okay. So two out of three ain't bad, as the song goes😄

When you know other women long enough and well enough, they confide in one another, some of them. There are lots of jokes about enjoying a swat or spanking, for instance, but fewer about ass play. Those who will talk about liking or disliking it often share experiences in which someone hurt and/or humiliated them anally, either in a medical or home-treatment setting or in a sexual one with a lover, and announce nobody's ever touching them there again, it's that traumatic.

In my experience, lots of young men are intensely interested in having anal sex but have no idea how to proceed without hurting their partner, sometimes to the point of blood or tears. (You and I know it doesn't ever have to be that way.) Some guys even seem to enjoy causing their partner pain, or delight in humiliating her if she can't cooperate once he's hurt her, or if her insides are not enema-clean. I'd say these guys are douche-canoes if that wasn't giving a bad rap to both douches and canoes.

But you get a grown-ass man who's past that level of immaturity and inexperience, a man who does his homework on how to proceed without hurting anyone, a man who's patient, a man who can accept "no" without anger, a man who actually listens to what his partner is saying, and most important of all, a man who puts his partner's pleasure at the same level of importance as his own when they engage in butt play... Well, then you've really got something. The word ecstasy is pretty close yet still inadequate for the orgasm that's entirely anal.

@Merlot So true. One lady on this site told me how an early boyfriend had tried to sodomize her without her consent, that it had hurt, not to mention the humiliation, that she had never wanted anything near that orifice, and that only lately she was beginning to change her view.

While having run into only a few true skeptics, I have never had to take “no” for an answer when it came to butt stuff. A “what do you think you’re doing back there?” always turned into “ooh I think I like what you’re doing back there.” If you take the time, and know how to gradually turn the heat up all the way, a finger or some fingers in her back door will only be welcomed.

A woman who won’t let you touch her butthole, was once a girl who got abused either by religion or adults.

@arttemp There's a difference between accepting a thermometer, suppository, or finger, on the one hand, and a full-sized penis, on the other hand.

I’ve started looking at Reddit about a month ago. One of the sub categories is Ask Women. One of the postings was the question to women, What are your boundaries when it comes to sex. Some answers were no choking, no cumming in my mouth, and no threesomes. But, there were a lot of no pee or poop and most of all, no butt play. Answers like don’t touch my butthole, nothing going in my butt, stay away from my butt. This kinda baffled me because I thought pretty much everyone enjoyed a little rear time. I guess not!

It is never "everyone" because there is always someone who does, can't, or won't something. It is the nature of people. Especially when there are so many ways to receive and enjoy pleasure.

@Shygirl17

I used to be one of those women!

“You’re going to feel my finger in your bottom.” I was anxious and felt my cheeks down there tightening up. As a naïve newlywed of 22, I was in bed at home recovering from a traumatic accident. A home health nurse was preparing to give me an enema with a large hospital type bag of soapy water hanging over me.

Angie the nurse said she was going to do a “quick rectal exam.” I remember closing my eyes and hoping that she wasn’t going to add to my pain and whatever she was going to do would be over fast.

Angie try to be as gentle as possible, but she did add to my pain. She warned me that the enema was going to make me uncomfortable. After that experience, I felt like closing up shop anally.

However, what an incredible difference a second enema made. My body unexpectedly responded with a near climactic explosion that I had never felt before during one of my mother’s rare enemas. It was like my body and mind suddenly awakened to this wonderful new feeling that the nurse quietly said was normal, just relax and go with it.

My wife

- seems to enjoy a rectal thermometer from time to time, if sorta feverish, I think she needs some form of excuse

- dislikes suppositories as they are messy

- strongly dislikes enemas.. tried once when she was constipated

- finds a penis too thick.. she wanted to try it a couple times, I don't know why, was she feeling submissive.

Decades ago before we discovered the joy of menstrual sex it was that time of the month and I had been fooling around lightly fingering her butt. She had no complaints and after some coaxing I convinced her that we should try anal. She reluctantly agreed but also said she was going to do an enema first and that I had to use lots of KY. I took things really slow but despite that she was not happy with it saying that cumming in her vagina was a much more enjoyable experience. That is the story of our first and only time although I still do get to finger her back there on occasion.

My wife started using enemas as a teenager when her OB/GYN suggested she use them for menstrual cramps and constipation during her period. She used enemas for a number of years for nothing else but relief of menstrual cramps or constipation during her period. Fast forward a few years, when she shared an apartment with my sister a year or so before we were married. She came in one evening from work feeling sick and my sister questioned her about it. After the girls talked a while, my sister suggested, “You could really use a couple of enemas. You’ll feel better afterwards.” Telling her, “It's always worked for me.” My wife reluctantly agreed, and let my sister give her a couple of enemas that evening. My sister liked using a curved douche nozzle because she enjoyed moving the nozzle around during the enema. Giving the receipt something to take their mind off the warm soapy water flowing deep into their colon. Occasionally, giving them an orgasm. My wife didn’t have an orgasm the first time, but she really enjoyed it. Afterwards, the two girls started doing enemas on a regular basis together. So, by the time we were married, she really enjoyed enemas an anal stimulation from a curved douche nozzle or finger moving around deep inside her behind.

I have always gotten the "No-no-no", "Not there", "Uh-uh" or "Ain't happenin'" response whenever I would try to go for the back door! One lady, after a few beers, said "Oh, hell, I'll try anything once". Actually it all went surprisingly well. The first time was very memorable and we went slow and easy. She said to me, "You gotta finish your job while you're in there 'cause I could get bacteria problems if you go back in upstairs". When she started to tighten up her sphincter muscles, I shot like a rocket!

"Anal only" wasn't something we really knew about when I was 16 & my gf was 17, but we both knew pregnancy was extremely likely if we pursued "normal" sex. She actually suggested anal, and I (horny young male that I was) said OHHH KAYYY!!! It wasn't long before the difficulties resolved themselves (pain, what to use for lube, etc.), and she became an enthusiastic participant, even enjoying anal only orgasms. That was in the early 1960's, so there were women who enjoyed anal play even then (she got her info, of all places, from the Marquis de Sade's autobiography). She didn't care nearly as much for the enemas I gave her, but that's a story for another time.

@Doctorh3e Couldn't you use condoms vaginally? Or condoms + some spermicide or something?

Anal orgasms are amazing! I am hoping that once my BF & I get to that level that he will see what anal play does to me…also hoping he loves anal play too😈🍆🍑

Yes indeed, they are !! - i will also hope for you and your lover, that they will be satisfying for you both !!

Give them a try and enjoy it !!!

@Doctorh3e said,

"Anal only" wasn't something we really knew about when I was 16 & my gf was 17, but we both knew pregnancy was extremely likely if we pursued "normal" sex. She actually suggested anal, and I (horny young male that I was) said OHHH KAYYY!!!

When my girlfriend and I were teenagers, we knew about anal sex, but never really gave it a second thought. We had started swapping enemas during her period, around age fourteen. Which lead to a lot of playing around discovering each other. The one thing we both really enjoyed was masturbating each other anally using a finger or during enemas with a curved douche nozzle. After a year or more of this activity it eventually led to full sexual intercourse. We had given each other a couple of enemas during her period and were both still naked and horny. The next thing we realized, hormones had overruled reason, and we found ourselves engrossed in the passion of the moment. That’s when we both realized we had to find a good source of condoms, which thankfully we did.

After my wife and I got married, anal sex is the one thing I had trouble talking my wife into trying. She enjoyed enemas and anal masturbation using a curved douche nozzle. This combination brought her too orgasm around sixty percent of the time. But when it came to replacing the curved douche nozzle with a small butt plug or my penis, that was an entirely different story. She eventually tried anal intercourse a few times, but didn’t care for it, preferring vaginal intercourse instead. I think her biggest problem was not using a butt plug beforehand to get comfortable with having something larger than a curved douche nozzle or my finger buried in her behind.

Anal Orgasms

I've already posted in this thread but since AO's were mentioned I thought I'd make a few comments on that.

1) Anal orgasms for women are a REAL thing, once you experience one or more you find it way easier to orgasm via anal stimulation than vaginal - again - WAY easier - many women cannot orgasm from just vaginal stimulation.

2) To fast track how to make that happen try this: with the lady laying on her back put a pillow under the small of her back, then put on a glove and have lots of lube ready. Insert your finger anally and hook your finger around her anal sphincter - it's about an inch and a half to 2" in. Then pointing down at 6'oclock massage your finger back and forth and give her clit a little lick at the same time.

3) as she nears arousal you will actually feel that area swell slightly... continue massaging back and forth and you will feel the anus start to relax - this is the trigger mechanism that tells the anus to open when a 'turd' pushes up against it.

4) anal massage is somewhat of a 'sister secret' - this is nothing new to ladies of Sappho.

5) anal orgasm's are more intense than vaginal ones.

6) Guys cannot get off this way - they can from a prostate massage but not typically from an anal massage. Once I explained all this to a gay male 'sex buddy' that I party with on occasion and he didn't believe me til I had him 'loan' me a finger... His reply - wish I could cum that way...

7) It's always best to have a clean playground so at a bare minimum a few bulb enemas are in order prior to anything anal.

other:

Many women say that regular sex doggie style with the lady on all fours gives the most pleasure - given that there is not much tissue between the anus and the vagina guess what area the guy (or lady with a dildo) is arousing... yup - the same.

Enjoy

BJ

@BigJane That's very interesting! So I insert the finger anally, hook it around the curvature, and turn it so that the fingertip faces down (6 o'clock) before moving?

What I'm unsure about is the direction I should use! I would have thought I should push towards the navel and the G-spot but that's not it, it seems.

Sad to say, but the reason that most women do not like anal play, is because of having less than pleasurable experiences in that department. Instead of taking their time with relaxing and lube, the male in the equation, just rams it in and starts pounding, leaving the woman in pain, usually for a day or so afterwards. I know guys that have also been on the receiving end of this kind of treatment.... My first anal encounter (as the party being entered) was done slowly and was enjoyable, so much so that the other party and I continued for a number of months (on a once a week get together) until he got transferred out of the area. I have introduced a few ladies to this pleasure and all of them enjoyed it enough to come back for more....

Elaine (wishing that she had someone now to shall we say, make a happy boy out of)

@Pecan_nutjob, condoms weren't readily available where we grew up, nor did we have transportation outside of our neighborhood. Both of us viewed attempting to get them as too risky.