Cheating on wife

@SwitchableSusie WHY NOT?

I do it occasionally.

Sometimes you do it for no reason other than to make the other person happy.

What's the matter with that?

While I have no interest in having sex with a gal who is not excited about doing it, I have often given enemas to those who let me give them because they knew I liked it. Perhaps if I was into fucking as much as giving enemas I being doing more fucking... Interesting....

@gwhap: To me his constant chatting behind her back is an obsession or even an addiction - like gambling, compulsively watching porn, etc.

Could actually add to his excitement to do so. A flip side of this is a gal who likes to entice a married man to have sex with her...

WHY is the person who says, "no" the one to get their way all the time?

That seems incredibly UNFAIR.

Because, as I wrote earlier, "no" means no! Not yes, not maybe.

Consent withdrawn (and that is what we are really talking about) is consent withdrawn. Period, Full stop. You want to take the position of "not necessarily," fine. Then there would be no such thing that we could categorize as murder, rape, abuse, or "rule of law" because "no" wouldn't necessarily mean no. It's the "I'm fucking for virginity" position.

The time-space continuum that you are part of and are only vaguely aware doesn't have a quantum property of fairness and in the human context of "caring," doesn't care about fairness. There is no extrinsic fairness "out there" somewhere that is going to suddenly show up. Fairness is an artificial human social construct given by "rules" of fairness. Programmed with the language of those rules, you can make the assertion that something "seems incredibly unfair." You might even get agreement and consensus that something is "incredibly unfair" rather than "seems incredibly unfair." But fairness cannot be proven through some objective reality.

That doesn't mean that there are no broadly reaching consequences as the result of the choice to say no and withhold sexual intimacy over a long period of time.

If couples with marital problems had sex more often, that would help improve the intimacy component of their relationship.

Sex is part of the "glue" that keeps couples together.

Well said, and I agree. When there's a lack of sex, it could be a passive-aggressive spouse holding back or other issues.

This is also why kink is so hot. It's that kind of foreplay that makes it happen.

If the woman is "dried up" and can't tolerate intercourse, there are so many other things that can be done to pleasure the other person.

Someone mentioned that their wife is just fine with him having sex with someone else. She must feel very confident he won't fall in love with someone else who meets his needs, and leave her. I can't imagine putting a relationship on that slippery slope. It's courting danger, and letting another person into the relationship, even if she thinks "it's just sex". If someone did that to me, I'd think they didn't care all that much about me, and didn't worry about losing me.

Unless...the wife is supporting him or has a lot of money. Then he won't leave. Then she "has" him, and he can complain all he wants about "no sex", and she won't worry one bit if he goes and has sex with someone else. "Money" is the collar he wears.

@sundaybrunch

THAT WAS AN EXCELLENT POST

@sundaybrunch

THAT WAS AN EXCELLENT POST

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!

There are so many ways to have emotional and physical connections without the act of sex.

That I am grateful for, because anything can happen at any time and if one's partner gets ill or can not function the same for whatever reasons, then you would find other ways as my partner and I have.

Peace and health to all

Cazzy.

I´ve cheated on her, even when we have sex regularly, so I´m in no position to judge you.

The only advice I´ll give you is to be as stealth as possible, in order to not hurt her feelings. Don´t do it in places you both frequent and are known as a couple, take a shower after your encounters so you erase any suspicious scent, grow your fingernails long from time to time and scratch yourself as if you had an itch, so she doesn´t suspect if she finds scratches on your skin.

There is no excuse for cheating. None.

Now with months of being cooped up inside thanks to Covid-19 fears with my still attractive wife, the sexlessness of the marriage hits harder...

Cheating is lying. Lying is wrong. Period. If you cheat you’re doing something wrong. If you have to ask ‘is it OK’ then you know it’s wrong and you’re looking for a hall pass from us. Marriage is a contract with certain understandings between the parties. If sex was a part of your relationship and if your spouse decides he or she doesn’t want sex anymore than that spouse is unilaterally changing the contract. Does that give you the right to cheat? No but it does give you the obligation to talk to them and express your need. If they refuse to accommodate you that’s a valid reason to exit the marriage. If you have to ‘cheat’ to be happy you need to end the thing and move on.

Cheating is lying. Lying is wrong. Period. If you cheat you’re doing something wrong. If you have to ask ‘is it OK’ then you know it’s wrong and you’re looking for a hall pass from us. Marriage is a contract with certain understandings between the parties. If sex was a part of your relationship and if your spouse decides he or she doesn’t want sex anymore than that spouse is unilaterally changing the contract. Does that give you the right to cheat? No but it does give you the obligation to talk to them and express your need. If they refuse to accommodate you that’s a valid reason to exit the marriage. If you have to ‘cheat’ to be happy you need to end the thing and move on.

You do not need to end the marriage just because the women denies sex to her husband. That is a drastic solution to a problem which can easily be fixed by beating her into submission.

You do not need to end the marriage just because the women denies sex to her husband. That is a drastic solution to a problem which can easily be fixed by beating her into submission.

And after the beating and forced sex, the wife can sweetly observe that her husband looks soooo tired and maybe he would like to take a nap. ?

The "beating" about which I speak can be physical or emotional---which is the same thing as denying sex to your partner/spouse when the woman is physically able.

Not worth it. If you have to beat her to get her to care about you you’re wasting time and energy. Bail.

From a male perspective. I have known a number of guys who screwed around over the years, it never ended well. Many ended up virtually destitute thanks to being lead by their cocks.

If a woman wishes to have sex with a guy then she will, and vice versa.

Forcing the issue isn't going to end well either.

Sure beat her into submission; then she removes your manhood while you sleep

There is no excuse for cheating. None.

If one spouse cheats merely to play around... right, but if a spouse is being denied sex or any fun activity, then it's on both of them.

The denier spouse doesn't get to have it their way, then expect the other spouse to just not get any.

There's some accountability here.

Now with months of being cooped up inside thanks to Covid-19 fears with my still attractive wife, the sexlessness of the marriage hits harder...

If a woman just gave birth or has an infant, I can understand the fatigue and such. Or had some kind of malignancy or disease process.

If not, you need to ask why.

Putting up with anything in a relationship leads to resentment.

Make a date and make a nice dinner on Saturday night.

If one spouse cheats merely to play around... right, but if a spouse is being denied sex or any fun activity, then it's on both of them.

The denier spouse doesn't get to have it their way, then expect the other spouse to just not get any.

There's some accountability here.

You’re conflating issues. Is the spouse wrong for withholding sex? Absolutely. So you confront them, explain the problem and your need. If they say ‘too bad’? It’s on you to be honest. “OK, well I need sex and am going to go out and get it.” Your spouse has 3 choices at that point: give you sex, acquiesce to opening your marriage or refusing to do either in which case you’ve got the choice of going without sex being married to someone who obviously doesn’t care enough for you to consider your needs or ending the marriage.

Those are the ONLY ethical choices.

Sure beat her into submission; then she removes your manhood while you sleep.

John Bobbit can attest to how that works out.

You’re conflating issues. Is the spouse wrong for withholding sex? Absolutely. So you confront them, explain the problem and your need. If they say ‘too bad’? It’s on you to be honest. “OK, well I need sex and am going to go out and get it.” Your spouse has 3 choices at that point: give you sex, acquiesce to opening your marriage or refusing to do either in which case you’ve got the choice of going without sex being married to someone who obviously doesn’t care enough for you to consider your needs or ending the marriage.

Those are the ONLY ethical choices.

Gee, if someone said, "Too bad", I guess that's pretty much ending the marriage. I can't fathom someone treating their spouse like that.

If something is wrong, yes, it needs to be discussed. Some say when a couple isn't having sex anymore, it's the end of the marriage.

Perhaps it's being used as an impasse...to force a divorce.

Wow so a marriage is only about sex...wish I had known that 45 years ago...I thought it was love first; Silly me

Wow so a marriage is only about sex...

That statement is a grossly erroneous extrapolation.

NOBODY is saying that.

=================

wish I had known that 45 years ago...I thought it was love first; Silly me

There are numerous reasons to get or be married. Love is only one of them and it does not have to be reason number one.

So you are all right with shotgun weddings?

So you are all right with shotgun weddings?

Another grossly erroneous extrapolation.

I'm done with you.

For MYSELF and what I expect of MY HUSBAND, I agree with those who say that cheating on your spouse for whatever reason is not acceptable. MY husband, Meat Monster ( @Silent ) and I have cut to the chase with each other in OUR marriage and between the two of us. In OUR marriage I can take the righteous stand and decide just how righteous I will be IF ever cheating comes up.

My righteous, high horse, idealistic, standards begin AND end with me and my husband. He and I alone will be the judge of how we deal with our marriage and all of the issues. Anyone else that doesn't like what we do, accept, or tolerate, or enjoy in OUR marriage can fuck off.

I wasn't always this way. I was judgmental and self righteous and absolute about a lot of my beliefs about life. I knew absolutely the difference between right and wrong. I had all of the answers to all of the questions and anyone with a different opinion or different way and everyone else thought the way I did or were ignorant.

Then two or three years ago I found out my Mom was cheating on my Dad. Real long story short, my Mom was cheating on my Dad. My Dad was cheating on my Mom. Fucked my little world up right down to the foundation but I had my own problems and a husband who was having problems with his life and I was going to solve them. All of that without a fucking clue on my part.

Mom was straight up no shit and no sugar and didn't take my shit and never did take my shit. And we had more than a few "dust ups" and I was all righteous and judgmental about her and knew the whole story. It turns out I did not know shit. The guy Mom was fucking turns out to be a fantastic guy and I have even got some advice from him to help me with dealing with the shit my husband encountered in his life. My Dad really was a saint and somehow, someway, WITHOUT my fucking help, my Mom and Dad got their marriage back and where they wanted it.

Both of them more or less told me that they appreciated my thoughts but to MYOB if I was going to be so fucking righteous about it. I can't be that way anymore.

At least not with anyone else's marriage or the way they deal with it. It's not my place to make the judgment or think one size fits all. It's just an opinion, like my asshole, everyone has one. THAT is one of Dad's sayings.

Both of my parents are gone now, and it will be a year pretty soon when I lost Mom. Dad went a little while later. I wish I hadn't been such a judgmental "lil bitch" and got to know them earlier. But I learned that a marriage is ultimately between two people when all is said and done and that I'd be wasting my time worrying about someone else's marriage. It isn't my place.

My place is fucking my Meat Monster's wheels off and not letting shit slide or build up. IF it does, then he gets an enema or two or three and I suck any information or feelings he has pent up right out of his body and mind and soul straight through is cock. He's a big man and tough but when I have my teeth so close to his little head and my hands on his "boys" he is mine. Mom and Dad, the cheaters, got their shit right and probably never lost it in the first place. My take away from them is to not let it go in the first place, just like a few people here have already said. Only more righteously than what I know in my own heart.

Thanks for being such a bitch Mom. ❤️ ? ? ? ? I learned I don't have any room to judge or be righteous and to MYOB. I'm still working on it though and it's not like she was perfect either. ? ? ? ? ?

For MYSELF and what I expect of MY HUSBAND, I agree with those who say that cheating on your spouse for whatever reason is not acceptable. MY husband, Meat Monster ( @Silent ) and I have cut to the chase with each other in OUR marriage and between the two of us. In OUR marriage I can take the righteous stand and decide just how righteous I will be IF ever cheating comes up.

My righteous, high horse, idealistic, standards begin AND end with me and my husband. He and I alone will be the judge of how we deal with our marriage and all of the issues. Anyone else that doesn't like what we do, accept, or tolerate, or enjoy in OUR marriage can fuck off.

I wasn't always this way. I was judgmental and self righteous and absolute about a lot of my beliefs about life. I knew absolutely the difference between right and wrong. I had all of the answers to all of the questions and anyone with a different opinion or different way and everyone else thought the way I did or were ignorant.

Then two or three years ago I found out my Mom was cheating on my Dad. Real long story short, my Mom was cheating on my Dad. My Dad was cheating on my Mom. Fucked my little world up right down to the foundation but I had my own problems and a husband who was having problems with his life and I was going to solve them. All of that without a fucking clue on my part.

Mom was straight up no shit and no sugar and didn't take my shit and never did take my shit. And we had more than a few "dust ups" and I was all righteous and judgmental about her and knew the whole story. It turns out I did not know shit. The guy Mom was fucking turns out to be a fantastic guy and I have even got some advice from him to help me with dealing with the shit my husband encountered in his life. My Dad really was a saint and somehow, someway, WITHOUT my fucking help, my Mom and Dad got their marriage back and where they wanted it.

Both of them more or less told me that they appreciated my thoughts but to MYOB if I was going to be so fucking righteous about it. I can't be that way anymore.

At least not with anyone else's marriage or the way they deal with it. It's not my place to make the judgment or think one size fits all. It's just an opinion, like my asshole, everyone has one. THAT is one of Dad's sayings.

Both of my parents are gone now, and it will be a year pretty soon when I lost Mom. Dad went a little while later. I wish I hadn't been such a judgmental "lil bitch" and got to know them earlier. But I learned that a marriage is ultimately between two people when all is said and done and that I'd be wasting my time worrying about someone else's marriage. It isn't my place.

My place is fucking my Meat Monster's wheels off and not letting shit slide or build up. IF it does, then he gets an enema or two or three and I suck any information or feelings he has pent up right out of his body and mind and soul straight through is cock. He's a big man and tough but when I have my teeth so close to his little head and my hands on his "boys" he is mine. Mom and Dad, the cheaters, got their shit right and probably never lost it in the first place. My take away from them is to not let it go in the first place, just like a few people here have already said. Only more righteously than what I know in my own heart.

Thanks for being such a bitch Mom. ❤️ ? ? ? ? I learned I don't have any room to judge or be righteous and to MYOB. I'm still working on it though and it's not like she was perfect either. ? ? ? ? ?

That is an excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent post.

I would have colored, capitalized and bolded it, but that gets the little soldiers angry at me.

That is an excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent post.

@Dahiana 🌹

@Dahiana 🌹

@Dahiana I think that this is the best post of all that you have written, and I have read almost all of them. Really well done Milady and I'll bet the Meat Monster agrees with you.