Fetlife

Anyone here a member of fetlife ? I am and i find if i message anyone, i get rude answers at best, sometimes downright abusive. While here, people chat fine usually, is it just me?

I tried Fetlife (at someone else's recommendation). I stuck with it for 18 months or so. Some interesting posts to trawl around and read. Some nice pics. But...in terms of actual interaction of any kind, let alone actually meeting up with anyone....Zilch!!!

I tried Fetlife for about 37 seconds!

It is mostly people who have no idea what med fet is about, rude, crude, impolite, (pardon the expression) trailer park trash types, who have absolutely no ettiqute whatsoever. I found the men to aggressive and intrusive and all of them thinking they are G-d's gift to womankind.

Seriously, I checked it out for about a month to try to give it a fair shake and it was horrible. No offense, no sexism, but to the contrary, the men on the site are horrendous and while we have some jerks here too, mostly newbie refugees from closed sites, I have rarely, until recently encountered anything but gentlemen here! Thank you, guys!

Play safe!

@beccarnmommy, I was obviously dealing with people here in the UK but, a lot of what you say is true. Many of the replies I had (that is when anyone bothered to reply at all!!) were curt, brief, perfunctory, dismissive, rude, arrogant etc., etc. In brief...I formed the opinion that many on Fetlife were self - obsessed and totally 'up themselves'( pardon the pun!!) &...generally speaking...not particularly nice people at all.

It was not good

Horses for courses. It's down to the individual to decide what they like or dislike. This happens on every website I've ever seen including those that have gone now - ie rubberpal and informedconsent.

I'm on fetlife. The worst experiences I've had dealing with folks on there are the folks who run certain groups. With their attitudes, and the way they react to certain posts. The solution is, okay, maybe that particular group is not a group I should belong to after all.

The best experience I've had is conversing with a woman who was corresponding with me back & forth about home invasion play. She would use pics of herself to illustrate how she'd want to be dressed, undressed, & how she'd want me to have her. I would write back with my version of how I'd like things to go. We seemed to be both really getting turned on, that it was a shame it wasn't playing out in real life.

I can say i've received very nice compliments on my own pics, of which I'm appreciative, even if the compliments merely stem from their own horniness.

The most interesting exchange I've had on there is with a guy who has been telling me about how he & his sister, both in their late 50's, still get together to this day and have sessions where they're tied up together, and how it's progressed since the time they were kids.

I hardly do any medfet on there at all. Instead, i tend to focus on my other fetishes there. I would say for medfet, that site doesn't really compare to zity.

I am on fetlife and met one guy from the site. Biggest mistake. I was fine, but he still pursued me through text even though I said no several times. So, yeah I can see what others are saying. They are just really entitled. Though a couple have been polite.

I used to have an account there, my husband still does so I occasionally check it out though him. As a woman, the unwanted attention level was through the ceiling there. We don’t really follow med fet there, there isn’t much. It is good for impact and bondage though. Hub has made some friends and learned a few things that I’ve benefitted from :-)

I found Fetlife to be Rude/Crude Life. It is the "AntiZity"! People here are usually polite, accepting, and understand the meaning of "No".

I have off and on been on FL. I'm back on again and it seems to be sticking. The medfet is a tad bit disappointing. In fact, I was asked to leave a group because it was for "real medfet", I guess. Where no aspect of it is purely fetishy. So, he was pretty unpleasant about it.

As for my particular part of medfet, liking girls who must wear masks medically in daily life, there's barely any of that. There's groups that talk about the actual wearing of said masks. And that might be a turn on except 1) I don't wear masks, and 2) the people on those groups that do are invariably male (and I am a hetero male).

Having said that, there are some good pics, and I have gotten likes on my pics. As well, there's a pretty good disabled community on there. So I post in a disability kink group. That alone is maybe worth my being on MedFet.

I have been a member for about a year now. I joined at the request of a friend from here that wanted me to read some of his writings and it was just easier to go there than send me individual reading material.

There is a lot of info there and believe me you can find absolutely anything and everything.

I find the site a little difficult to navigate but I am also sooo NOT a techie.

When I first joined I did not put any info in my profile and only joined a couple of basic groups to attempt to stay up to date on the latest news. I was instantly bombarded by friend requests and pms that were crude and classless.

I used to cringe every time I logged on which was every few months. There is always a pm waiting.

I recently started to frequent the site a little more and have chatted with a few local members that I weeded out of the pile. It literally is like finding a needle in a haystack.

I did add a few likes and a couple of pics ( that I also have here) but have kept it very limited because it seems the more I put the more pms I receive. I still have not made a profile and probably won't because it would read more of like a “do not “ list than anything else.

There are too many self proclaimed “doms” and well more than enough idiots to go around.

I am all about self expression but if you have to post a cream pie facial or sucking on a cock to get attention well I will refrain my voicing my opinion on that but If you know me I am sure you can figure it out. lol

Also if you have a dic pic in your profile I can tell you I have never seen a pic of a cock and thought, "OMFG, I absolutely must have that beautiful specimen of perfection!!" And if you have a dic pic as your avatar just keep scrolling thru other members til you find your ideal match....the one with the facial as her avatar.

Yeah that about sums up the majority of fetlife.

I have been on Fetlife for several years. As others have mentioned, some people on Fetlife can be rude, discourteous, or inconsiderate. On the other hand, I have corresponded and met several good people on Fetlife. I’ve also met some very enjoyable play partners from Fetlife. I like to look at Fetlife because of the wide variety of kinks and fetishes and also browse others profiles along with many pictures. There are several medical play groups and regional BDSM groups that I like to see what others are into.

I like Zity far better than FetLife. My interests are almost exclusively metfet and I've found their forums don't compare to the ones here at all. Also, they don't have chatrooms or an instant message feature. I did meet one guy from there who is also here and he's a really nice guy. I haven't had many problems with men there, except for one who wanted to come to my home immediately upon first message. He finally gave up and I think deleted his account.

Topic restored - after some discussion, it was decided that promotion of other forum sites is not ideal, but simple discussion, particularly in this case, is fine.

I have therefore restored this topic - apologies for taking so long to do so, that's on me - been....short-handed over here....

Have fun, stay kinky...

I'm on fetlife. I primarily joined because some of the events that I occasionally attend have groups setup there. It's useful to receive the group notifications, etc. But I haven't actually met anyone in person solely based on meeting them on fetlife.

I'm on FetLife as well. I've met a couple people on there that have led to text-based chats. I met one person that turned into a real life meet up. But for the most part, it has been pretty hit or miss for me there. I get a lot of last minute cancellations or people ghosting me.

... I get a lot of last minute cancellations or people ghosting me.

Ghosting. I think sometimes 2 people can share a particular unique interest, and chat back and forth with each other for a while. And then at some point the topic has pretty much run its course and it just dies. Sometimes there's short term gratification involved, or folks get too busy to be chatting online anymore.

There can be a lot of factors that lead to ghosting. But I find, the more folks you CAN connect with, and isn't that sorta the object of the game, you wind up experiencing a lot more ghosting.

I've gotten used to it. It's the nature of the beast. I'm guilty of ghosting myself if folks get too carried away, seem too pushy, etc.

I belong to FetLife, ( https://fetlife.com/users/2401885 ) and have met several great people. I also run several enema related groups on fetlife. I'd be happy to chat with any like minded members.

I think sometimes 2 people can share a particular unique interest, and chat back and forth with each other for a while. And then at some point the topic has pretty much run its course and it just dies. Sometimes there's short term gratification involved, or folks get too busy to be chatting online anymore.

...

I've gotten used to it. It's the nature of the beast. I'm guilty of ghosting myself if folks get too carried away, seem too pushy, etc.

You raise very valid points and I can't say that I have never ghosted someone if they start to get pushy. But it can be frustrating when you clear your schedule and start to prep for the session and then a day or two before, they just disappear.

Like you said, nature of the beast.

I was a member for a while. What drove me away was way to many people wanting to hook up personally. Yes, come to my home for a "Friendly" cup of coffee. Not over my 357 Colt Trooper Mark IIl says I. Then the appalling anger and gutter language when they were denied my company. The I'm Going To Find You My Pretty , threats were common! Reports to the moderators were useless. The verbal filth gave me a good idea of the quality of the people there. So it came time to "Hat Up" and blow that pop stand!

Here, we are pretty much ladies and gentleman when it comes to knowing how to act and react. We have moderators and rules. Fetlife, or 90% of it was a zoo like free for all of many idiots, morons and potential sex offenders. This is my opinion and like ass holes, every body has one.

There were others, like the members here that are also members there that are good people. With better than four letter word vocabularies.

I was on there for awhile, but I found most of the members crude, rude, and very disrespectful. The only opinion you were allowed to have, was theirs! If a female member dared to post a hello, their mailbox exploded with crude offers or demands. Moderators are non-existent so you are free to behave in any manner you wish.

Fetlife is a way to meet others as well as craigslist was at one time ,but yes there are a lot of flakes to. I never have expectations if someone one comes along great all the better. You can say the same about any site really,lots want to chat or try it seems but few act out. I don’t want to teach I want to play with others as deeply into the enema fetish’s pleasure and understands the mechanism of getting there. People come to Denver and sometimes we get together and there are a few regulars that come in on business often. It takes time to build an online connection that progresses to the bag I guess.

I have an account there have for a few years i totally agree it has a high percentage of very rude people. I use it for my bdsm interests not much medical fetish stuff there.

I have met some wonderful med-fet patients/friends through FetLife, and many of them didn't have Zity accounts. (The reverse is true also; I've met some good people from Zity who weren't on FL.) If I had limited myself to one or the other, I would have missed out on some really amazing experiences.

For someone like me with a medical fetish, each site has its own advantages. Zity is great because there is such a strong med-fet/enema emphasis here. On the other hand, FetLife has a larger membership which covers virtually the entire universe of fetishes. While relatively few people there specifically list med-fet as an interest, I have learned that some more "conventional" fetishists (who may be into spanking, anal play, fingering, Daddy/daughter roleplay, etc.) actually would enjoy medical play but just haven't really thought about it before.

On the downside, I think it is true that there are more jerks and vulgar people on FL (which Zity tends to screen out a little better). However, you can generally deter and block them as necessary. Unfortunately, not everyone on Zity is trustworthy, either; I've encountered catfishes, liars, and flakes on both sites. It goes with the territory, so it's important to exercise reasonable caution everywhere.

I used FetLife for a day and then ran back to zity as fast as I could

I am on Fetlife and have had several wonderful conversations and meet ups as well. Of course I have also had the occasional rude reply but that comes with the territory.

Hi,

Yes I am on "FETLIFE" although under a different name. I can honestly say that I have never had any abusive comments of texts. Quite a few people have asked me for advice on various subjects, and a few have made some very nice comments on some of the pictures I have uploaded of my 'bits' !

I suppose it would depend on what has been said to (or about) someone or something. Or maybe it was one of those controversial subjects people get 'hot under the collar' about ? There are a few.

I tried Fetlife too. Found it very fake and more advertised controlled. So I deleted my account.

It's been interesting following this thread. As I said in a previous post, I've been on FetLife for a few years, and have met (and played with) several great people. I have found that a bit of common courtesy seems to go a long way, and this carries over to all of the groups I belong to. Unfortunately, there are a lot of men that figure that any female is fair game, and are dying to meet them. I have found that using the same courtesy in contacting others that you would use meeting them in a vanilla setting works well. Too bad a lot of members just don't get it.