Female Enemamates Are Not Hard To Find

You say naïve, I say polite and respectful. But since you know better, please tell the men the way you start a conversation that makes you such a pussy magnet with women swooning at your feet. They may appreciate your advice. But if all you're going to do is list made-up facts and be mysogynistic, don't bother.

And in the days when I had a personal ad somewhere, I received vague replies with height, weight, age, eye color, hair color and maybe penis size and bragging about some sexual skill or another. Then the follow up sentence of "If you like what you see, hit me up." With very rare exception, this made up the entire first contact.

Now imagine getting dozens of similar replies and please tell me which one stands out and makes a difference to you? Which one actually sounds like he's read and paid attention to something I said and wrote me a personal reply based on what I wrote? Which man is special enough to merit a reply? None of them.

If a man isn't going to make an effort, he's not going to get a response as there is nothing that differentiates him from every other man on the Internet. And then all of them are mad and say no one replies.

Women make an effort when you do. We want to feel that we are chosen because there is something special about us other than heartbeat and something wet, warm and soft between our legs. And we'll respond to a man when there is something special that stands out about you.

And I wasn't threatening you. I was telling you what I've seen happen on Zity. They don't take kindly to people who flame the boards and attack individuals. And if you traveled down that same path, it might have been inevitable. I want it to snap you and make you take a second look before posting anything that could get you in trouble. Trust me, I've had to hold my tongue, as well lately due to current issues and world events. Sometimes we have to censor ourselves and look at something from a different perspective or angle lest we burst into flames.

I hold nothing against you. Other than this thread, we've had nothing to do with each other and it would be stupid to let this thread take over our lives so greatly that we miss out on being a part of such a great site. So let's part agreeing to disagree and be adults about this. Shall we?

Really now! So many guys here are surprised to find that girls are girls.

Why the mystery? Guys make love, climax and the ball is rolling. The girl though is pregnant for nine months and has to raise the kid.

So wouldnt we expect girls to naturally be more cautious? Why is it a surprise that they are built to want evidence that the guy will stick around and be supportive and caring?

That's what courtship is about. A demonstration. We bring flowers. We treat them to dinner. We humor their tastes.

If, instead we call up and say right off the bat, let's fuck or I've got a big dick or some other nice direct line it should be no surprise that all her protective circuits kick in and say this guy is too dense to be a partner.

Fellows, its called seduction, charm, affection, warmth. That's the game. If you want to skip that part, you are going to have a long frustrating existence.

After reading through the posts, I thought I'd toss in my two cents. These are my opinions, nothing more.

You should always treat people with respect. I believe in the concept of being a gentleman and I wouldn't change that even in online messages or posts. I do realize there are some people that enjoy being treated poorly, but I think they are rare.

In my personal experiences, I have never looked for a lady/partner on the basis of enemas. That would be like looking for a car because of a particular type of stereo installed. A one on one relationship with someone is much more deep and personal. It can't be a one topic type of deal. I've met women in the past, got to know them, and then brought up different interests and desires as a way to please her or a way for her to please me. I like to explain it as the difference between sex and making love. Sex is about personal pleasure. Making love is about giving pleasure to your partner. And at least in my case, once I explained my interest in enemas and why I enjoyed them, they were more than willing to give them to me. It was her way of wanting to give me pleasure. Usually they weren't interested in receiving at first, but as they saw how I responded to the enema, they became curious.

Now if someone really just wants a woman to give him an enema, I would suggest a professional enema nurse. I can understand the dislike of having to pay for a woman to do this to them, but if that is all they want, it would sure seem to be an easy way to get what they want with no strings attached.

Again, these are just my opinions.

My personal experience in finding and choosing a male enemate is based on noticing a man's profile that states his age, location, and his comments, and then sending a polite message with a sincere introduction. And YES, I am obsessed with music, live concerts, art, theater, travel, tubing down the rivers, the ocean, literature, family and friends, so I do chat about those things. And my 2 play partners that I met on an enema site (not this one) chatted for quite a long time with me about our common interests. SHOCKING I KNOW!! GOD FORBID!! LOL....Then we exchanged emails, and then pics, and then eventually phone numbers, texting, talking on the phone. I do not wish to wind up in between 2 bloody mattresses as a corpse because some guy was rushing to play, and turned out to be a psycho!! It was a given that we each loved enemas, loved kinky sex, and wanted to play with the RIGHT person. The men and I equally chose each other. I am not going to play with a man that I have nothing in common with, besides loving enemas!!

During email exchanges, we each had fantasies about how we wanted to "stage each enema scene". So we would exchange Hot, steamy, erotic enema stories. We also ask one another what is going on in our lives as well, to form a great intimate bond, a friendship. We care about each other.

We share enema experiences we have had with other play partners. My other 2 play partners that I happened to meet just randomly through dating treated me with respect and never rushed me either. We all love to joke around, are playful, naughty, and really care about each other. Hot exciting enema play, kinky sex, and friendship is fun. Everyone should try it ;-)

Jenny

By the way, The women that I know are NOT sitting around like pathetic hens, drinking coffee, and bashing men!!

We are working professional jobs, maintaining our homes, traveling, enjoy dating, having romantic dinners, meeting for drinks, working out, taking yoga classes, meeting for movies, having fun with family and friends, getting massages and pedicures, flirting shamelessly everywhere we go, eyeing single men in grocery stores, planning hot weekends or steamy trips with a Lover, spontaneously going out and having fun, going to live concerts, attending art openings in a gallery with wine and cheese (and meeting hot men there), and....well you get the idea!! We are living life and having fun! We talk about how much we love men, how big their cocks are, how good they are in bed, what new toys we have discovered, books we are reading, new music we love, relationship advice, and any new ideas about kinky sex, the latest bdsm club (if that is of interest), just to name a FEW things....

Hi SweetGirl99. When someone sounds interesting to me I refer them to my profile and previous posts. Then, If they are interested they can contact me, if not I've not offended anyone. That's life.

Brava, Jenny. Getting to know someone new is always a lot of fun.

@Swetgirl999, Thanks for your comments about how you approach men. You're really unusual, since the vast majority of women would NEVER approach a man for anything. I would like to also point out that you found all these men on an enema site, so you already knew they would have an interest. I greatly admire you -- and any woman like you -- who steps outside social conventions to find what she wants. I approach women in the way you describe how you approach men (just below). It's friendly and tactful.

In my experience, those women who do approach me for something involving kink or sex, are always quite direct. In their first message, they make it clear what their goal is, even if they say they want to meet me first to get to know me a bit before doing something. They DON'T start with social chit chat. Usually, a short meeting reassures them that I'm not a crazy nut or axe murderer, and they want to proceed to my apartment. Sometimes they are smart enough to figure this out with some emails and/or phone calls, and ask to come directly to my apartment. Unfortunately, there are far too few of these, and they are not looking for a long term relationship, and so I've had to search regularly to find a partner. It would be nice to have a steady relationship with a woman who lives permanently in the city. So far, my only available choice has been between temporary partners -- or none at all. If that's the choice, then I choose having temporary partners -- and I've had some absolutely amazing ones. And some have remained friends after they left NYC, and we exchange ideas, advice etc.

@ManyOohs4U, Actually I met 2 of my enemate play partners on an enema site. My other 2 partners were very nice open minded men that I dated. I had no idea they also were open to enema and anal play. I enjoy dating witty, funny, intelligent and kind men. It's NOT a deal breaker if there is NO enema play. I never rush to play at all. I don't normally date vanilla guys. But I have never just chatted with any man, and then thought,"Oh, he seems okay, he's not some serial rapist or a psycho, so I'm ready to get down to kinky sex in the same night!" I do not do "hook ups". I find those very distasteful. And frankly, any woman OR man who is so naiive as to think nothing is going to go wrong or end badly is being careless. What does a psychotic serial killer or a serial rapist look like? I prefer NOT to put myself in such a position to find out the hard way. Everyone is free to do as they please. It's a personal choice of behavior. I like to take my time. Where's the fire?

Also, I also discuss STDs and being a responsible adult. Using a condom isn't 100% safe, and oral sex isn't 100% safe either. So there are many reasons to get to know a partner well and each get tested regularly, and not just for HIV.

I am a direct and friendly woman, but still cautious. What other women or men do is their choice, and they're free to do it.

I have to actually like and care about my partner. I am also easily bored, and so I seek out men who have those qualities that will keep me interested in them when the fun is over. I enjoy intimacy, erotic chemistry, kink, and friendship in my relationships. I value and treasure them. And this works for me. It might not work for everyone else. Not Everone desires intimacy. Some just want fun, which is fine for them. Different people have different needs. I can't just sit back and wait for life to happen. I love living it, so I am not shy about approaching others. I do love men very much !!!! If enema play is included, wonderful!! But there's always Anal sex involved, which is quite fun as well !!!

Dianne and Jenny: I too have met 2 lovely women on-line though not on enema sites. With both of them we would meet at a neutral site to talk and get to know each other. We eventually started to date and became intimate. Enemas were never discussed or even mentioned in any of our conversations until one morning after a very steamy night and early morning love making with one we took a shower together. Much to her embarrassment at the time she had left her big red hanging in the shower with a black douche nozzle attached. Lying across the soap dish was a white douche nozzle and very red faced to explained that the black nozzle was for douching and the white was for enemas.

Being the gentleman that I am I offered to assist her in either activity should she so desire as I was well experienced doing both. Without any further conversation on the subjects we finished the shower, I dressed and we had breakfast. As I was getting ready to leave she asked if I had 15 minutes to spare and I said yes. She than stated that she would very much appreciate it if I would give her an enema on her bed instead of having to take one solo on the bathroom floor. Naturally I agreed and that started 6 months of wonderful enemas mixed with sex. This ended when she started to press us living together on the way to marriage.

The second gal was almost identical except her bags were hanging in the bath closet which she open to get me a towel. Seeing the pumpkin bag with the barium nozzle I remarked that it was good to know that we had the same interest in enemas. The next weekend the e-fun began and lasted until she was transferred to another assignment (military) overseas.

My current enemate I met by pure accident. A couple in my condo complex have a switching partner orgy about every 4 weeks and one time the hostess called me and asked it I could fill for someone who couldn't make it. My "date" would be her sister. Not having done anything like that in 10 years I accepted her invite and had a wonderful time. While walking her sister to her car she inquired if I had any interest in anal sex to which I replied in the positive. She wanted to get together, just the 2 of us, for some fun. When informed that I only did anal sex if there was an enema session before with me as an active participant. She agreed as told me she took an enema every other day and would love to have someone give them to her. We meet 2-3 times a week just for enemas and sex. No romance and we seldom go out.

Martin

I thought I would add some real data on why it is so HARD (contrary to the title of this thread) to find an enemate. Surely readers here have noticed that most of the postings are made by men; women are a distinct minority. On some days, when I open Recent Posts in the Forum, I can see that there is not a single posting by a woman being displayed.

To my knowledge, the management here never has revealed statistics about male vs female membership or postings, but the Ads are clear for anyone to see. I took the time to count them all a few days ago. There were about 1100 ads; 47% were medfet, 30% enemas, and the other 23% all the other categories combined.

In medfet ads, men's ads outnumber women's by 6-1. In enema ads, men's outnumber women's 9-1. For zity as a whole, men's ads outnumber women's by 7-1. Since most (but not all) ads are for a person of the opposite sex, this is a big mismatch. Since most men are looking for a woman, it is very unlikely for them to find her here.

It seems logical that a woman posting here would soon find what she is looking for, since there are so many more men, and at least a few lucky men would find a woman that way. I think that's possible, but not clear to be actually true. Of course, there are always a FEW exceptions. It's my experience on many Internet dating sites, on fetlife, and on zity, that even women who advertise for something find unlimited excuses to never even meet for a cup of coffee when men do reply to their ads. In fact, they rarely even acknowledge a man's messages to her in response to her ad. Women rarely do what they say. Their postings are usually pure fantasies. They may say they want to meet a man, but they would never dare to actually do so.

There is a constructive point to be made also. Women who really want to meet a man should put up an ad here. You don't have much competition from other women, and if you acknowledge the messages you receive, and engage in an honest effort to meet a man, then I think you have a good chance of meeting him. If you want to succeed, you have to stop being so passive, and instead, participate in the process and engage the men who show interest.

Well I think that a good smile and a pleasant conversation should happen before anything else. Why do I believe that? I believe that simply because I just love women. They are the best thing since sliced bread ; So why not be nice to them ? PS ( most of them anyway).

This is an interesting thread, and it probably depends on what you are looking for....

A long term relationship is far and away the hardest, no matter what your "kink," just like it takes some time to form a really meaningful relationship. In my dating days I would eventually tell my partner about my kink (enemas). I've never had anyone go running and screaming away, even if they weren't interested. On the other hand, come on too strong.... they're gone. I guess my best was when I told the woman I was seeing, she took it all in, and the conversation turned to other things, now keep in mind we already had a nice relationship building. A few nights later she tells me she had gone to her mom's place when her mom was at work and tried an enema. She said it wasn't bad, but it didn't do anything for her, so I let the subject drop. A few nights later while we were making love she asked me to give her an enema.... If I had pushed, I think things might have been very different, getting too over the top with you partner is likely to spoil a good thing. That enema had her cuming and cuming, and was the first of many!

Now a few years ago, when I decided to partner with Anika Sondholm and make some enema videos I wondered where we would find models willing to do it on Camera. I found a first class on-line service that had a number of models available. I contacted one of the most beautiful women on the site, expecting a resounding "No!" What I got was I'd like to try that, and from there out about 1/4 of the models we contacted were willing. One model was already into enemas and colonics.. and a looker, too.

So what's my point? We decided to go to Backpage.com and see how many that advertise there would be willing, turns out about 2 in 10 would be on the receiving end, Some wanted an additional "tip." None of them were unreasonable. What we did find is that a lot of these ladies are looking for steady, repeat customers. Be careful, some of the ones that claim to be just 18, with reference to being very young are sting operations run by the local cops... we just had a news story about that. Usually the ones in their 30's or older are a safe bet, and we know one single mom, about 35, really into it.

We also tried advertising on Craigslist for a woman willing to give enemas, no mention of the sexual side, and we got several responses, including one 28 year old who turned into a willing playmate... Plus a number of caring, gentle enemas from several others.

So there are options....

After two marriages I found a GF that was willing to "play nurse" and give me a squeeze regularly. It lasted for nearly a year before falling apart for other reasons. A pity, but amazing enjoyment while it lasted.

Ladies like this DO exist outside of our fantasies.

Relationships are complicated. They can take infinite twists and turns. But finding someone who is sexually compatible can be done if you are persistent and patient. If desiring to establish a long term relationship, I think it is best to start with a good foundation and see if there is common ground on the things that are important to both parties recognizing each individual has their own key must haves. Then it is important for each party to be flexible and to be willing to engage in things that you might not have considered. This not only spans sexuality and fetishes, but views on everyday issues like finances, religion and politics, commitment to job and career. BUT I think there has to be enough common ground on these issues to enable couples to want to have sex before they get to the bedroom otherwise there is too much tension.

So at some point in the dating period a frank discussion about sex is appropriate and necessary. Both parties need to be very honest and put all their cards on the table which can be scary for fear of a negative reaction and push back. But it is so important to get reactions sooner as opposed to later. Worse yet when one side keeps an important sexual desire hidden as the two get deeper into the relationship and that desire never gets filled leaving that person wanting.

When everything comes together, then the relationship can be long lasting and very fulfilling for both.

It was during the regular course of dating that a woman first got me into enemas as more of a sexual thing along with toys, bdsm, and kink. Since her I've had several regular dating relationships with women that also we discovered over time that they got into enemas or tolerated them really well. However that's not the case with my wife as she is very traditional, simple, and not very adventurous. She has known for many years about my proclivities, and has gone as far to say that she tried an enema once and couldn't stand it. More importantly now she has many medical problems that preclude sex from happening at all so my enema or kink play is pretty autonomous for the time being.....

Im unsure if we are rare or not. Im prettt new to these - but my husband knew this was a deal breaker for him early on. While he didnt fully acknowledge just how important to him it was - he asked my opinion pretty early in our relationship. I had follow up questions - and he answered them as they came up. Honestly for me being able to give first was a relief. Please dont give up hope - shes out there trying to find you too.

My girlfriend had no experience with anything anal prior to me but I introduced her to both enemas and anal sex, which we do in that order. It's been neat to see her go from hesitation about it to actually being aroused and enjoying it, and now I give her enemas regularly. Sometimes she gives me one but I think she's becoming addicted to receiving lol. I consider myself a very, very lucky guy to have met her.

Don't abandon hope, they're out there, they just don't go around with a neon sign that says I LOVE ENEMAS, or at least relatively speaking as compared to men. If you don't believe me, go on Fetlife, type in Enemas in fetishes and you will find any number of women interested in them.

I posted here in 2013, but times have changed.

Back in the days of Craigslist and Backpage, whenever I felt the desire for enema play I would look at posts, and then call the number. I would explain that I wanted to give them an enema. I got a lot of no’s and more than a few hang ups. Sometimes I got a very willing recipient, and a couple of times, if they hadn’t found a client, a call back saying, OK, now I’ll do it.

That was fun, but those days seem to be over, as federal laws have pretty much stopped those kinds of sexually related ads.

I’ve often wondered if some off shore site has replaced those publications.

Now living in Australia, where prostitution is legal, I can go to Fetish House in Melbourne and find exactly what I am looking for. And I don’t have to be concerned it is a sting operation and I might be busted.

"I'm unsure if we are rare or not"... '' Please dont give up hope - shes out there trying to find you too..."

I believe they are more common than we might think and I'm living for us to find each other.

Wow, this thread surely is a gold mine full of wisdom and experience!

I don't want to add to the complaints but, sadly, I can not add any experience or wisdom either.

It seems near Impossible to find like-minded people in my Age Group ( I'm 24 ), but luckily I'm very open towards age difference!

Thanks for all the tips and encouragements, I will be sure to keep looking 😃

Wow, this thread surely is a gold mine full of wisdom and experience!

I don't want to add to the complaints but, sadly, I can not add any experience or wisdom either.

It seems near Impossible to find like-minded people in my Age Group ( I'm 24 ), but luckily I'm very open towards age difference!

Thanks for all the tips and encouragements, I will be sure to keep looking 😃

You need to find a cougar, but I think they are going to be the ones running the show.

Interesting thread. There used to be a guy on here who stated he and his girlfriend would always use Craigslist to get girls to come over for enemas and sex. His girlfriend would never be home. I just read what he said and never paid attention to it. I have found that it is easier for a girl to talk another girl into enemas from what I have read here. I have never had a guy ask to give me an enema. Even though I take them now I would still say no. It took a girl to talk me into enemas. All of the girls I have started on enemas say the same that it is easier or seems easier for two women than a man and woman. The girl who started me on enemas told me that her ex-husband never wanted part of it.

We, for the most part, being in an open marriage/swingers lifestyle, we never have a shortage of willing partners to play with. 99% of the time, we are together for our play and never play alone till we REALLY get to know the people first as friends, then play friends. NOT ALWAYS THOUGH!!

With being a bisexual woman who prides herself on physical exercise and martial arts, l have a very open avenue of meeting other women, single and married, and the opportunities to talk about many things as women do. I have met MANY that have taken enemas for various reasons and enjoyed them to various levels. I have introduced several to the wonderful ways of the lavage. Others have turned into full blown klysmos as myself!!!

So they are for sure out there, some waiting to be turned onto/into water lovers, others already knowing they enjoy them, just discreetly looking to find someone to express their kink to!!!!

Very, very interesting subject.

Paula and Tabitha make good points.

It is so true as I have heard and experienced over the years that women do talk and share intimate details with other women much more frequently than with men. And if you work or have a rather active social life then you do have more opportunity to meet others who may have an interest or talk about enemas.

And over the last 60 years or so the Mom, in most families, was the one who gave the rectal temps, suppositories and enemas to the kids.

And I have spoken to many females that want to experience anal play and when you get closer they back off.

Oh well, this is a subject that many have had experience with and or stories.

Guess that is why we enjoy chatting and reading the posts.

And a good day to all.

It depends allot on the type of guy you are.... by type I mean, some are very good at going out and meeting women, as it's their thing - getting into multiple relationships. Others like myself, can only handle one relationship at a time, and slowly go about developing it. By the time my gal and I are discussing fetishes, I'm too deep into the relationship to end it because she's not into enemas - so it's a matter of luck if she is.

There is not so much people into enemas or saying it. Luckily some find this website and blog but you still have to combine the fact that you have to find a person near your area with the same fantasy. It is difficult to find even a man so a woman....

Moreover from my part I would like a woman older than 40 with a preference for more than 60

Si the chances decrease

- Be open about what you want but flexible as to what your actual criteria are - have clear but realistic expectations.

- Be open to the idea of traveling to meet a potential partner (it's 2020 for Cthulhu's sake, not the medieval times; traveling is easy).

- Be polite.

- Don't be a selfish creep who can't neither read nor understand your potential partner's feelings and needs.

You'll find someone.

Yes single female hetero emanates here in California are hard to find.

I've met up with 3 ladies for enema ,but found more on fet life

There is not so much people into enemas or saying it. Luckily some find this website and blog but you still have to combine the fact that you have to find a person near your area with the same fantasy. It is difficult to find even a man so a woman....

Moreover from my part I would like a woman older than 40 with a preference for more than 60

Si the chances decrease

Good post.

This is it in my situation. I'd say it's just hard to find someone into kink due to most people are not into kink.

It's a Vanilla World out there. There could be someone like yourself, but not nearby.