I ask my wife about her visit to the psychiatrist, “When did you see the psychiatrist?”
She explains, “I saw him the day I was admitted, before you came here.”
“Why did he see you right away but I had to wait six days before I could see him?”
“I don’t know, he is very busy. Why don’t you ask him?”
“I will next time I see him.”
I talk a little more with her about her visit with the psychiatrist, and she tells me the psychiatrist thinks it was just a manic episode and that with her bipolar disorder that will happen from time to time but they just wanted to evaluate her just to be sure she was ok and see if she needed any med changes.
“OK” I respond, “Are they going to follow up after you are discharged?”
“They are going to call me about a week after my discharge to check in and see how I am doing.”
Jena and I then go play some games together and do some exercising in the exercise room. After lunch we line up to go outside again. It feels funny and a bit humiliating going out like this with nothing but a couple hospital gowns on. They have snaps instead of ties and they overlap in the back. But still, I’m glad we at least get to wear two, because with just one I would feel pretty exposed. One is on with the opening in the back and the other is on backwards over it to cover the back better. And we don’t even get our own socks and underwear. No underwear, just blue hospital slipper socks.
I have second thoughts about going out like this, but my wife is in front of me and I really love being with her. I also really enjoy the fresh air. So I go despite my embarrassment.
The weather is warm with a slightly cool breeze that feels nice, and I can smell the flowers as we walk by them. Even though I have gone outside for the walk every day for the past four days, I still feel a bit uneasy and very self-concise going outside dressed like this.
Later on we have group. They talk how we can overcome the problems which caused us to have to be admitted in here in the first place.
The staff leading the group turns to me and she says, “Patient John, do you remember in group on Saturday I asked you what you could work on while you are here? Did you take some time to think about this?”
I do remember her asking that on Saturday and not really having an answer.
I respond, “Well … I could work on ways to better handle myself when I get upset.”
“Very good, Patient John.”
Jena is in the group too and she comments, “I can find ways to help myself when I start to feel manic, so I don’t end up in the hospital.”
Later that day after eating another great supper, Jena and I lay in my bed together and we talk about our time here. We also talk some more about my forced commitment here and how confused I was when I was being admitted.
At this point the staff comes in to give us our meds, it is Nurse Suzen again; the nurse that admitted me.
“Hi Patient John. Hi Patient Jena. How are you two? I got you your meds.”
We both take our meds like good patients.
I ask Nurse Suzen about their decision to admit me, and how it seems like they tricked me into being admitted.
“I expected to come for a visit, not to stay.” I said.
“Well aren’t you glad you stayed.”
I just look at her without answering.
Then I ask her why they didn’t tell me they were planning on admitting me.
“The staff here wanted to make sure you would stay for treatment, so when they talked to you on the phone, they might have left out that the decision was made for you to be admitted. We understand patients can be nervous about staying inpatient in a psychiatric hospital.”
After Nurse Suzen leaves, Jena and I squeezed each other tight, glad that we are together.
“I hope we leave at the same time.” I say
We go under the white sheet and white hospital blanket and we squeeze each other while telling each other how special they are and all the reasons why we are so in love with each other. And as we are laying tucked in bed holding each other tight, we both fall asleep.