I don’t remember much after that. I’m told I was out of it until they took me up to surgery. They tried to wake me up in Recovery, but I wouldn’t come around. I do remember coming to a couple times in what I was later told was ICU. There was a tube in my throat and it seemed like there were wires and tubes everywhere. Doc was in a chair beside the bed, holding my hand. He looked so worried. I tried to squeeze his hand. He later told me that he felt it.

The next time I remember waking up, I was in another bed. The tube was out of my throat and I was lying on my back. Doc was lying on the bed beside me and stroking my hair. I looked at him and said “Did I make it or are we both in Hell?” He laughed.

“That’s my Meredith - lying in a hospital bed, critically ill and cracking jokes! No place is Hell if you are with me, sweetie.”

“What happened after you guys knocked me out?”

“I’ll tell you later, hon. Go back to sleep.”

I drifted in and out. I recall waking up a couple times and Alex was talking to Doc but I didn’t know what they were saying. “Hi, Meredith”, the therapist said to me the second time I saw him there. “Welcome back to the world. How are you feeling?”

“Pain”, I said, almost in a whisper. “So…much….pain.”

“I’ll go get your pain medication, hon”, Doc said. Shortly after he injected it into my IV, I drifted off again.

One day, I woke up and Doc was not there. I fell back asleep. I woke up again and he still wasn’t there. The third time, I pushed the call bell which was resting in my free hand. A nurse came.

“Where is Julian?” I asked.

“I don’t know”, she said. He left to go home and shower this morning.

“What time is it?”

“It’s just after 4:30pm.”

“He’s not coming back!” My heart sunk. Doc had gotten fed up and left me. I couldn’t blame him at all. Most guys would have left months ago. “I want to go home”, I said to the nurse, with tears in my eyes.

“You can’t go home, you’re too weak and you need hospital care.”

I tried to get out of bed, but fell back. The nurse was right.

“I’m going to go get Dr Carmichael”, she said. “He’ll come talk to you. Try and relax. Dr Richards may just have got sidetracked with something.” I was worried, but couldn’t stay with it for long. I fell back asleep. When I woke up again, Alex was sitting by the bed.

“How are you feeling, Meredith?” he asked me.

“Julian has left me”, I replied in a distressed voice.

“No, he hasn’t.”

“Yes, he has. He hasn’t been here since this morning.”

“I know. I called him. He had something to do out of town, but he’s coming back.”

“What did he have to do?”

“I think it best that he tell you himself, Meredith. But let me get him on the phone. You can talk to him and he will tell you he’s coming back.” He took his phone out and called Doc. “I’m putting him on speaker, so you can hear for yourself.” Doc answered his phone. “Julian, I have you on speaker. I’m in Meredith’s room. She’s really upset and thinks you aren’t coming back.”

“Meredith, hon, you’re awake! I had to go out of town. I’m on my way back now. I’ll be there in a couple hours, okay?”

“Where did you go, Doc?”

“I’ll tell you later. You rest. Alex, can you stay with her until I get back? Or do you have to go?”

“I can stay, Julian. We’ll see you soon.”

“See?” he said after he ended the call. “How is your pain?”

“Bad.”

“I’ll get a nurse to bring in your pain medication.”

“Just pills, please. I don’t want to be knocked out again.” A nurse came in with my pills and I swallowed them with some water.

“What day is it?” I asked Alex.

“It’s Tuesday.”

“I’ve been out for four days?”

“Pretty much.”

“The last I remember is you and Julian holding me down for a shot. I’m not happy about that, Alex.”

“We had to, Meredith. You were out of control.”

“I was not.”

“You were. You pulled out your IV and were trying to pull off the cardiac leads.”

“You had no right to stop me.”

“We had every right. You weren’t in your right mind. That’s why Julian signed the surgery consent form.”

“I was capable of signing.”

“No, you were not. I know you had said yes to the operation, but because you were in such distress and your mind was foggy from dehydration and infection, you legally could not consent. You made Julian your Power of Attorney, right?” I nodded. “Which means you trust him to make decisions for you when you are incapable. And don‘t feel bad about it, you had good reason to be in distress. Jane has put both of you through a lot. And just when you think it‘s over and she can‘t get to you, she contacts you again, over and over, with what can basically be considered a threat. Nobody can fault you for the way you reacted.”

“Thanks, Alex. You’re a good friend.”

“And therapist.” I smiled a weak smile. “Look, we’ll talk more about this when you are feeling better, but you need to rest now, okay? I’ll sit with you until Julian gets back.”

“When this is all over, I’m throwing a big party. And you’re invited.”

“How about making it your annual summer bash and bonfire? You didn’t have it last year.”

“No, I was recovering from that pneumonia and Julian vetoed it. I’m definitely having it this year. Well, *we* are having it, even though he may not know it yet.” Alex laughed.

“I look forward to it. Deanna and I love your summer bashes.”

I fell asleep again and when I woke up this time, Doc was back. He was sitting beside the bed. Alex was gone. “Doc”, I said in a weak but getting stronger voice.

“Hi, hon. How are you feeling?”

“I missed you, Doc.”

“I’m sorry, hon. There was something I had to do.”

“What was it?”

“Don’t you worry about it, hon.”

“Where did you go? You were gone a long time.”

“Rest, Meredith. I’ll tell you when you are stronger.”

“Promise, Doc?”

“I promise.”

“Okay. I’m glad you are back, I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

“I’m thirsty.”

“I’ll get you some water.” He got up and left the room. When he came back, he had a plastic cup of water in his hand and an IV bag in his hand. I tried to sit up. Doc pushed a button to raise my head. “Don’t worry about sitting up, Meredith.” He held the cup for me and I took a long drink through the straw.

“Thanks, Doc”, I said when I’d drank enough. He exchanged the IV bag with one that was empty. There were three more on the stand. “What are all those for?” I asked.

“The one I just changed is fluids. The others are antibiotics.”

“Three bags of antibiotics?”

“You’re a very sick lady, hon. Now, get some rest.”

I woke up the next day. Doc was in his chair reading. I shifted positions in bed. He looked up at me. “Good morning, hon. How are you feeling?”

“Sick.”

“Nauseous?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll get you some Gravol.” He brought some Ginger Ale with the IV Gravol. I drank a bit. It tasted so good.

“It’s Wednesday, right?”

“Yes, Meredith.”

“Five days since I came back to the hospital. How much longer will I be here?”

“A while. Don’t count on going home for at least a week.” I groaned. “You have peritonitis, Meredith. That’s very, very serious. It’s not going to go away overnight. You have turned a corner and your temperature is down from where it was, but you can’t go home yet.”

“How were they taking my temp?”

“With an ear thermometer.” I breathed a sigh of relief. “Why? Were you hoping for rectal?”

“While asleep? How could I enjoy it?” Doc laughed. “Besides, I don’t want anyone but you taking it that way. Are you going to go home to shower this morning?”

“No, it distressed you too much yesterday.”

“That’s because you were gone so long and nobody knew where you were. I will be okay, go do it.”

“Are you sure, hon?”

“Yes, Doc. I know how grungy you feel when you can’t shower or change your clothes.”

“Maybe I will go when you go back to sleep.”

A nurse came in with my pain medication. She injected it into my IV and I was soon asleep again. I slept for a few hours and woke up in the afternoon. I knew Doc had been home as he had different clothes on and had shaved. When he saw my eyes open, he got up and leaned over the bed and kissed me. “Hi, beautiful. Welcome back - again.”

“I feel like I’m sleeping my life away.”

“Sleep is very good for you right now. Just think of all the things you will do when you recover and that will be incentive to get the rest you need to get well.”

“I was talking to Alex about having a party when this is all over.”

“That’s a great idea, Meredith.”

“He suggested I make it my annual summer bash and bonfire. He always comes to it. Steve does, too, when he‘s not working.”

“I’ll have to figure out what foods to cook for something like that.”

“Cold foods, Doc. Like potato salad, macaroni salad, coleslaw etc. People will roast wieners and barbecue burgers. I usually get it catered.” He made a face. “Catering is for people who can’t cook. I’ll do it this year.”

“Okay, Doc. Hey, going to tell me where you went yesterday?” Just then, Scott Fletcher walked into the room. I’ll bet Doc is glad to see him, I thought. Gets him off the hook. Boy, was I wrong.

We exchanged pleasantries, then Scott said “I heard about your escapade yesterday, Julian.” Doc looked guilty.

“What escapade?” I asked.

“Scott, let’s go somewhere else to talk.”

“No, don’t! I want to know what you did yesterday. You’ve been ducking my questions about where you went. Did you do something illegal?”

“As far as I know, it wasn’t illegal.”

“No, you did not break any laws”, Scott informed him. “But it wasn’t a wise move.”

“Julian, what did you do?!”

Doc sighed. “She might as well know, Scott. She’ll find out eventually. Meredith, I went to the detention centre to see Jane.”

My heart sunk. Was he going back to her? “Why?” I asked in a very quiet voice.

“To tell her exactly what she’s done to you. I told her how she scared you and about you hiding in the barn for two days and getting peritonitis and how if you hadn’t got medical treatment that day, you may have died. And that if you did die, it would have been on her hands. And that I still would have never gone back to her, even if you were no longer alive. I told her I will never forgive her for what she’s done to you and if I met her on the street, I’d spit on her.” My eyes got wide. Doc talking like that??? What had come over him?

“What possessed you to do that, Julian?”

“Scott, I had had enough. After this latest with Meredith, where we thought it was all over except the trial, then Jane scared her so bad that she hid in the barn for two days without food or water and ended up with peritonitis and an infection in her incision, I was so angry and I did it on impulse. I’m not one to anger easily or do things spontaneously like that, but I just lost it. She’s hurt Meredith too many times. Both physically and mentally.”

“I understand, Julian, but it could have hurt our case. Fortunately, it won’t. In fact, it will help it.”

“How so?”

“The conversations are recorded. That is how I know you went. They called me after listening to the tape. When you listed the things she’s done to Meredith, she replied with something to the effect of ‘I did it all for you, Julian.’ That’s an admission. It may not be enough on it’s own to convict, but combined with the evidence we have, it should do it. Or maybe she’ll plead to it instead of taking it to trial.”

“So, I’m not in trouble?”

“No, you aren’t in trouble. Just don’t do it again.”

“You don’t have to worry, I have no intention of going back there. I had to stop at a hotel and get a room just to shower after being there.” Now, why did that not surprise me?

“Do you want me to tell Meredith about what we found or do you want to?”

“Go ahead, Scott.” Doc moved his chair closer to the bed and took my hand in his. They had switched my IV to my left hand. I was going to get on them about that later. “Meredith, you were right about it being Jane who called you.”

“Yes, it was Jane”, Scott said. “The number that came through on your call display was spoofed. But the call traced back to a cell tower near the detention centre. Corrections officers searched her cell, but couldn’t find anything. They looked over the visitor logs and found that someone had come to see her and brought her a Bible in a small decorative wooden box. They went back to her cell and took the box out and studied it closely. They found that it has a false bottom and when they got into it, they discovered a cell phone and a credit card.”

“That’s how she had flowers sent to me!”

“Yes, we found the florist shop and the credit card number used to send the flowers matches the one that was found in the box. The message on the card of ‘down but not out’ was said in such a way that the florist would think she was saying *you* are down but not out. They wouldn’t realize that it was a threat.”

“What happens now?”

“Charges will be laid for making threats. That’s for them to do down there. She’s been placed in segregation so she is absolutely not a threat to you now. When she goes back to her cell, she will have nothing from the outside, not even visitors. The police down there are charging the male who brought her the phone and credit card with smuggling contraband. I don’t think he will be too eager to do her any favours again.”

“So, hon, you truly can rest easy now”, Doc said.

“I know we’ve said that before, Meredith, but she really is no threat to you right now. She’s incapable of being. My advice, though, is to change your phone number. Julian should change his cell number and both of you should change your email addresses. Your cell has a new number, so there’s no need to change that. There’s a note on the hospital computer system to not give out any information on you or where you are.”

“I haven’t wanted to change the house number, but I think you’re right, Scott. I will get it changed to an unlisted number, and I will change my email address.”

“I will do those things, too.” Doc said.

“When she’s sentenced, the Crown is going to push to have her sent down east to do her time. That would make it a lot harder for her to contact you.”

“Hey, what happened with the bail hearing here?”

“Jane agreed to have it down there once she realized that you wouldn‘t be appearing and Julian would be testifying by video. I don’t think she expected her shenanigans with the flowers and phone call to result in you being so sick. She was probably just expecting to make you uneasy, not terrified to the point you would hide without food or drink for two days. Her bail request was denied, of course. I have to get going, but I will keep in touch and I‘ll let you know of any new developments.”

After the detective left, I asked Doc to tell me what happened after I was knocked out on Friday.

“They took you to surgery. You had urine in your lower abdomen and pelvic area that had leaked out of your bladder.”

“Was that from not having a bag attached when I left the hospital?”

“Yes, it was. Dr Quinn had to open you up and clean it up and he took out some infected tissue. He sewed up the tear in your bladder while he was in there. You were under for close to three hours.”

“That’s why I’m so sore down there.” I lifted my blankets and tried to see how big the incision was. There was a long piece of gauze covering me from just below my belly button to my pubic mound. Oh great, another scar, I thought.

Doc must have read my mind. “If you are worried about the scar, don’t. It will not make a bit of difference to me, hon. I love you and always will, no matter how many scars you have.”

“Even if I can’t wear a bikini?”

“Why can’t you wear one? If people have a problem with it, they can ‘bugger off’ as you would say.” I smiled.

“What happened after that, Doc? I remember waking up with a tube in my throat.”

“They couldn’t get you to breathe on your own so you were on the vent for a couple days. Then they brought you here to the surgical ward.”

“Why couldn’t I breathe on my own?”

“I don’t know, hon. Your lungs were probably weak from the first surgery. Your sats had just come up to where they are supposed to be when you had to go under anesthesia again.”

“I remember waking up and you had my hand in both of yours. I tried to squeeze yours but it was so hard and I think I fell back asleep.”

“I felt it, hon. That told me that you knew I was there and I knew then that you would get better. I just a had a feeling.”

“When did they bring me to this room?”

“On Sunday. You were in and out of it, but mostly out.”

“And you went to see Jane on Tuesday?”

“Yes. After sitting with you for a couple more days, and you in such bad shape medically, I was so mad at her that I just took off after I showered and changed at the apartment. I know Scott Fletcher thinks I shouldn’t have, but I’m glad I did. The look on her face when I told her I wouldn’t go back to her even if you died was worth it.”

“Was she surprised?”

“Yes and then she got a look of defeat. Her shoulders slumped. I got up, turned around and walked away. I never want to see her face again, though I know I will have to in court. Hon, why did you hide from me?”

“I wasn’t hiding from you, Doc. I was hiding from Jane.”

“You really thought she had got out?”

“Yes.”

“I came to the barn the day you left the hospital, hon. Did you hear me?”

“I heard footsteps, but I thought it was Jane. It was you?”

“Yes, it was.”

“Did you go up to the hay mow?”

“I did. I didn’t think you’d be able to get up there, but I had to make sure.”

“I tried.”

He chuckled. “That doesn’t surprise me.”

“What made you go back a couple days later?”

“I was lying in bed and couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about you and about the flowers and the phone receiver hanging there like you got scared and took off. I had searched the house and basement a few times. Something told me to go back to the barn. I thought you’d go there because it would make you feel closer to your horses and maybe more secure. I also thought to call out to you. I don’t know why I didn’t the first time.”

“I’m glad you did, Doc. I thought it was Jane at first, I had been dreaming that she was attacking me.”

“I’m so glad you called out to me, hon.”

“Me too, Doc. I remember Alex calling you after you found me and took me to the house.”

“He’s been very worried about you as well. And he’s been a huge help to me, keeping me grounded - for the most part.” I gave a small laugh at the last four words.

“He was here a couple times, right?”

“More than a couple, hon. He came to see you - and me - every day, at least twice. And then he sat with you yesterday for a couple hours.”

“He’s been a very good friend to both of us.”

“He sure has.”

“When I told him that, he said ‘and therapist’” We both laughed, though mine was held back a bit because it hurt so much to do it.

“He wants to have sessions with each of us again, hon. Are you okay with that?”

“Yes, Doc. We both have issues to work on and I think it will help our relationship to do that. We can move forward a lot easier if we put these things behind us. I know you have not been able to shake your feelings of guilt about Jane and I don’t know if I can stop feeling so bad about all my scars by myself. I do have one worry.”

“What’s that?”

“Alex telling you that you shouldn’t stay with me so much when I’m in hospital. I like you being here, as long as you want to be.”

“Alex gives suggestions. Like I do to my patients. He can’t force us to do what he suggests. And he’s human, he’s not perfect. For most people, that might be a good thing for the spouse to not be in the room 24/7. But, for us, it’s the right thing. If you didn’t want me here, I’d go. You’ve said you want me here, so I’m going to stay.”

“I’m glad, Doc.”

“I think you need to get some rest now, hon. You’ve been awake for a bit.”

“You are right, I need to sleep.” I closed my eyes and fell asleep quickly, feeling very good about my relationship with Doc and looking forward to spending a lifetime with him.