"therepeutic" spanking and stress reduction

OK, kinksters, here's a twist.

I have been having ongoing issues with things that may be stress-related or stress-augmented, such as IBS, hemorrhoids, pelvic pain, sleep issues, etc. I've been doing the deep breathing, visualization, exercise (well, until I hurt my knee and had surgery for something bigger than a torn meniscus I was running, now I'm not doing quite as intensive an exercise), and though I seem to be "chill" often I'm still having the physical issues (which could be partially related to ongoing pain, but anyway).

I was listening to a Pleasure Mechanics podcast titled "Spanking Your Wife." While I haven't been particularly interested in spanking my wife, they've had some interesting things on some of their podcasts so I listen to most of them even if the subject doesn't seem immediately grabbing. This one started to interest me when they started talking about stress relief from receiving a spanking.

I'm game to give it a try, but I'm looking for more info. What I've found is that it should be done in a comfortable position (I'm thinking my wife sitting on the bed, me lying on the bed over her lap), should start with massage and very gentle spanks, then ramp up slowly. There haven't been too many specific resources, so anyone here have experience with this? Pointers to tips? Most BDSM spanking stuff doesn't seem to deal with it in detail, and the "domestic discipline" stuff definitely isn't right.

This may or may not go anywhere, but I'm trying to get as much info as possible before bringing it up. My wife may be completely not interested - I know she has some friends who were physically abused, so it will likely be a hard sell at best.

This is why this is a great community. Thanks - I wasn't sure at all about it (there weren't any references given), and I have zero personal experience with spanking beyond a few cases when I was young and got in trouble. I guess the idea is that it would be so intense you'd forget everything else that was going on in your life, but sex is also intense and probably much more fun, and sex hasn't helped the hemorrhoids.

Sounds like the consensus it's BS, so I'll quietly drop it in the mental trash can.

I say this as someone who has discussed this with a prior relationship. I was feeling alone and incredibly stressed and out of no where, the thought, "I need a spanking." crossed my mind. My partner and I were living in different states so I could not receive one. But I did discuss it with him.

I wouldn't want it to start with a massage, but to start out slow and then go into what is also called percussive spanking. This does catch my attention in a big way.

I just don't know if it would work that way in general, and it doesn't seem like it. It also might be something that works if you're already into erotic spanking or BDSM but not if you're not. I'm not averse to "putting my ass on the line" so to speak - if it doesn't work I may be sore for a bit, but it was an experiment and I'm cool with that. It might not work for the stress but wind up being something I find fun, who knows. What I don't want is to do anything that could upset my wife without having a reasonable chance of success. That and I'd much rather save up my brownie points for something that is more fun - such as seeing if she'll play with my ass in a more sexual way 😃 .

I'm not even sure if the root of the problems is stress. It would make sense, but I'm not seeing any of the characteristic stress signs except for the IBS, pelvic pain and thrombosed hemorrhoids (and that's assuming that stress can cause hemorrhoids). For that matter the pelvic pain is managed except for the hemorrhoid pain.

Although I do not have any literature to support it I have had several subs comment to me and also heard about others that commented that a good impact play session was great for stress relief. I have heard that on several occasions at kinky camp and also at play parties!

I think part of the "relief" might come from the release if you are spanked to the point of crying. I say this as I don't cry and haven't in years. When I was much younger, when I was very stressed and would sometimes break into tears. Not much but some and it would seem to help. I'd have to be alone though. But as I said, I don't now as an adult.

I'm not sure if I could be spanked to the point of crying, but with someone I deeply, deeply trust, I'd like to try.

I've read about "Percussive Spankings" and I wonder about that as well.

Crying in my wife's arms has some appeal. Being open enough to share that with her, especially without having something truly awful happening (such as a death) seems so open and intimate. Get safe and comfortable and then have her just push me over the edge... hmm.

That said I'm not sure if spanking would work that way for me. While I don't doubt Suzie's assertion that it is possible to get anyone to cry with a sufficiently hard beating, I've put up with a significant bit of pain and haven't cried yet, and I'm not sure what intentionally having her exceed that would do to our relationship. Would it bring us closer, or would it put a barrier up? I guess one thing to consider is that I really wasn't (and am not) open to crying in response to the body pain because it makes me feel like a wuss, whereas if I was open it may not require as much of a push.

Ah well, interesting in theory but I'm not sure if it would work out the same in practice.

This is worse than BS. A great design in a web site but that's about it. Have spare cash, great way to waste it in my opinion. We all have special needs, and with a little search and research you can find what u desire.

Have to disagree. While I have no personal experience with this website or spanker, I have spent plenty of spare cash on professional spankers. I have always considered it money well spent. While it would be nice to have a significant other in my life to give real spankings, that just isn't the case. I see nothing wrong with paying for a spanking😃 And yes, I would say it can be very stress relieving afterwards. A real spanking will definitely take your mind off of anything else it was stuck on.

I see nothing wrong with paying for a spanking 😃 And yes, I would say it can be very stress relieving afterwards. A real spanking will definitely take your mind off of anything else it was stuck on.

I don't see myself letting myself go with someone I don't have a very close relationship to.

The big question: does a "real spanking" work better/longer than an orgasm?

The big question: does a "real spanking" work better/longer than an orgasm?

Completely different realm.

Completely different realm.

Would you please help me understand more? For a while it was sounding as though the spanking was merely an intense physical experience that would distract for a while, which seems to also apply to having an orgasm.

If spanking is something that will/may bring me closer to my wife, improve our erotic life, or reduce stress then I'll bend over and give it a couple of tries. If it will drive a wedge between us then no way. I'm also enough of a wuss that if it is just meaningless pain I'll probably give it a pass - I'm getting my full RDA of somewhat pointless pain in my life right now from other sources.

I found out some more on the differences. While both an orgasm and spanking are experiences that take over your consciousness a spanking done right releases different biochemicals and hits on the endorphins.

I still think I'm in the kind of want to try it camp (for the spanking - I'm in the "know I want to do it" camp for the orgasms).

I heard that solid spanking on bare butt can improve blood circulation, reduce stress, cholesterol and is very good to lose weight....after spanking is not appetite for food

A spanking can be a great way to relieve anxiety.

There's nothing wrong with a nice spanking now and again! (blush)

The therapeutic nature of a good spanking is part of what got me and my husband into it! There are many layers to it. Having a high stress job where you’re always the one having to make decisions, to call all the shots, there’s a freeing aspect to letting someone else control the scene in the bedroom and having absolutely no responsibility aside from following directions and enjoying yourself. Thought admittedly that part skews more D/s than B/D. You can allow someone else to call the shots and not incorporate any impact or sex. The spanking itself can be exciting, or arousing, or a little terrifying, or a vehicle to a centered head space much like meditation. For some people, the “excuse”of the pain allows them to open up and release pent up stress or emotions that they might otherwise have left bottled up. It doesn’t have to be crying though some people want that. Physically, your body tenses and then relaxes, tenses and relaxes. With a warm up, a good spanking, then a cool down, your body can get an extreme work out without moving from the spot! Just like the “Good tired” that comes after a work out, there can be a deeply relaxed state following a good spanking. Then when you throw in aftercare, the cuddling or petting, or being wrapped in a blanket or having sex, or whatever the sub needs to feel right, and the afterglow of endorphins, there’s a lot of really good feelings happening that leave you feeling loved and relaxed and probably exhausted. Often, the lingering warmth on your bottom or the tenderness when you sit later will bring you back to that headspace momentarily and allow you to savor the feelings and melt back into that relaxation all over again!

I asked a female friend to spank me once, which she did, on my bare bottom, and it was cathartic. No sex by the way and she was fully clothed.

I had a really good friend spank me whenever I was having a depressive episode. It was so helpful for my mental health and he was so nice to me even during the spanking. He kept saying how good I was doing. He's such a cool person and I highly recommend spanking as a stress reliever.

I highly recommend spanking as a stress reliever.

How does one go about finding someone willing to apply stress relief? I'm pretty certain that most of my friends would just recommend a glass of wine or such if I were ever to complain about needing some stress relief.

Look up SPANK THERAPY on your browser , you will find information.

I had a really good friend spank me whenever I was having a depressive episode...... I highly recommend spanking as a stress reliever.

I would think any that ANY kind of attention could be of benefit.

I've been using a bare bottom spanking for stress relief for years. All I know is, It Works For Me.

While I have no study's to back this up; It is my experience that regular OTK spankings help relieve my fiancee's stress. And I find this very therepeutic.

I know that spankings do have a therapeutic effect. It does a great job of cleaning up emotional chaos.

I think Peachfuzz was so right when he said a spanking "a vehicle to a centered head space much like meditation."

Before a spanking, waiting for it, the spankee has a very focused mind. Even more so when the time comes to get ready, into position, and after the first few spanks a mind has no room for anything else. Whatever worries, cares, one might have are burned away.

In many ways a spanking and an enema can be very similar in their being vehicles to center head space the way meditation does.

I had someone who was good at spanking when I was wound up with high amounts of stress. Using a paddle that hurt, not totally unbearable but brought me to tears, and wouldn't stop unless I was sobbing for what he thought was long enough to have the desired effect. Then he would hold me in his arms, rock me a little and tell me it was alright, and would kiss me on the forehead. When I was done crying and had returned to a normal frame of mind, sometimes we would have some good sex which really felt great. I actually liked having sex afterwards and then just relax in each others arms. Oh how I miss those days... In many ways it was cathartic for me.

I had someone who was good at spanking when I was wound up with high amounts of stress. Using a paddle that hurt, not totally unbearable but brought me to tears, and wouldn't stop unless I was sobbing for what he thought was long enough to have the desired effect. Then he would hold me in his arms, rock me a little and tell me it was alright, and would kiss me on the forehead. When I was done crying and had returned to a normal frame of mind, sometimes we would have some good sex which really felt great. I actually liked having sex afterwards and then just relax in each others arms. Oh how I miss those days... In many ways it was cathartic for me.

I actually do something very similar to this when I see MrsFn's stress and anxiety level going up. It actually does help center her and relieve her anxiety levels. Most of the time we have great sex afterwards. I always make sure she has a good orgasm though, even if we do not have sex. Then I will hold her as she drifts off to sleep.

This whole posting could be the start of PhD in, you name the field

I was thinking about this and remember several years ago reading about it in Marie Claire and so I looked it up online and turns out about 3 years ago.

https://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a28396/spanking-therapy/

Seems there has been some research on it 😃

Some years ago, I held a city license and did some part time massage. One of my regular female customers gave a visiting lady friend a gift certificate for an hour and a half massage. This woman explained that she was an executive in a large communications firm, definitely a high pressure job, was in town for a conference, and we talked about a lot of different subjects during her session. Near the end of her time she said “I’d like to ask a favor if you’d be comfortable with it, and it’s not a sexual favor.” She proceeded to explain that she would really enjoy a good spanking. 😳😳It took me a few minutes to decide how to respond, as I’d not really met anyone who enjoyed an occasional hard spanking. So I sat on the massage table, fully clothed, and she lay across my lap, presenting a very luscious bottom, she totally naked from the massage, as she had tossed off the drape. I asked how hard she’d like me to spank her, and she told me she wanted it to be very hard. And it surprised me that as I spanked her as hard as I could, she assured me that was “just perfect”. I always hoped for another female friend that enjoyed spanking in that fashion, but alas, I have not.