Examination | The physical exam i just had …

Views: 984 Created: 2016.04.15

First post

Yes, this Norman Rockwell painting was indeed hanging in the waiting area

http://www.lewisbond.com/rckwellpgs/astudydro.html

I researched out this new doc via the insurance co. website, with a subsequent Advanced Google Image search on women's names. After all, i need something to motivate me to actually schedule & wanna go for a physical, vs procrastinate, procrastinate, procrastinate.

All of you folks who complain about how cold the exam rooms are, this place had to be 80 F. Felt that way, especially after doing some walking from where i could park for free. Speaking of walking, the 2nd patient i saw enter & hang out in the waiting room was wearing crocs. The music in the room is a lot like what i'd hear whenever I go for massages.

It's a husband & wife practice. There are no nurses from what I could see. They do everything themselves. No chaperone or anything, as I went one on one with a short lady doc who I would guess to be early 60's. I heard the husband tell his male patient "Pants on, everything else off".

My lady doc came to the waiting room to get me. We went to a corner room & she told me i could sit anywhere except her round stool. I sat on a normal chair, leaning inward as the conversation progressed. We chatted about my health history for about 20 minutes. I spoke in a low voice, having compromised it the night before at the David Gilmour concert @ MSG. When she did ask me if i did any street drugs, I did come clean for the first time to a health care professional and admitted to smoking pot. She just wanted to get an idea how much & how often i smoked. No lecture, no scolding, no comments, nothing. By now, perhaps up to half her patients probably also indulge, so maybe that's why she seemed unphased.

Some of what we discussed was from my electronic Ipad responses to their form questions. "It says here you had cancer". I was like "Well, skin cancer". We talked about my knee surgery, although i forgot to mention my history as a carton stomper which likely led up to the accident. At this point, i could tell she was beginning to realize that i'm clearly a one-of-a-kind patient. Perhaps in a good way, if considered interesting.

As we continued to talk, she went to the cabinet and took out a folded dark blue gown and set it down on the exam table/bed/chair/whatever. i wondered what it was like, how long, etc. When we concluded the discussion she said I could leave my socks and underwear on, and put the gown on with the opening in the front. Since it's our 1st meeting & we're opposite gender, I want to comply to make her feel comfortable, and not like there's some perv in the room. If she asked me if i wanted to wear the gown, i would have declined. I didn't bother with the ties in the back though.

When she came back in, she noticed my gown was open & informed me that there were ties in the back. I mentioned that i was ok & i wanted to make it easier for her & i'm "old school". She responded "Don't worry, i've seen all kinds of.." For me, this 1st meeting & physical was more about making her feel comfortable with me as a patient. Then when i become a more regular patient, it may wind up being that the gown is optional as she gets more comfortable with me & understands I have zero sense of modesty.

We started with the height & weight thing, probably the 1st time i've ever been weighed for a physical in pretty much just a gown vs clothes. Or did she do my 161/103 blood pressure 1st. That wound up being her biggest/only concern during the physical. She went to draw blood herself, and I warned her my veins tend to hide when they know or see needles coming. She did have to spend a little time until she could find one. At the concert the night before, i thought to tell her to disqualify my triglycerides reading because of recent indulgence prior to fasting. I didn't mention it though...yet 😉

God bless the fact they can get my temperature through my ear, because unlike many of you, i'm not exactly a fan of rectal mercury. She learned that I can't stick my tongue out as wide as most people because of my slight deformity. She turned the lights off & looked at my eyes with a small light on various angles as i stared at the corner of the room. I didn't have to do any kind of vision test. She just asked about my vision & hearing.

Steth time. She started at my neck She announced where she was listening, when she moved to my heart & chest. Then she announced she was moving to my back & that's when we dropped the gown. Afterwards she told me to lie back. i thought that this is usually where the fun begins.

She continued using the steth at first. She proceeded to do some pressing down near my liver, then spleen, asking me to let her know if it was tender anywhere. As she was examining this area, i noticed her looking over at my exposed jockstrap pouch. I would say this is the 1st time she noticed i wasn't exactly wearing boxers or briefs. She was checking it out as if it were something unusual. Not that she had a puzzled look, but more like a slightly studied look. I was getting an undetectable rush from looking at her looking at it. I was surprised & delighted that she looked as long as she did.

We were down to the last 3 things she was to do. The EKG, the tetanus shot in my arm, & earlier, as we discussed my family history, she recommended a DRE, "if that's ok with (me)". To which I replied "Yeah, definitely. I've had them before. I'm up for anything." , meaning there was no part of a physical that would be off limits.

She left to get the EKG equipment. The door was on an angle to the room, since it was a corner room. The way it opened, the exam table is behind it, so people can't see inside except maybe where my feet were. Though when the door is open, there is a nice gap between the door & the wall it's hinged to. There was nobody around to look in anyway. When she returned, she had to open the door wide to wheel in the tray with all the EKG stuff.

Maybe she could use this as a learning experience to skip the gown next time, to minimize my perspiration. I wished her good luck, between my hairy chest & tendency to perspire. And as she discovered, she would have to shave me, and then did have to deal with my slippery skin. I don;t know if she was serious, but she said next time, she would send me to a cardiologist. She was frustrated that when she thought she had all the electrodes nice, the machine wasn't giving her anything. I think the only 2 electrodes that behaved throughout were the ones on my thighs, not too far away from the pouch of my jockstrap. And i wondered if she had taken another look when she was attaching those. My perverted mind was hoping so.

Yes, there was lube & stuff on the tray for the DRE. She placed a short white drape over my lower region, and asked my to roll to the side & "slide (my) "underwear" down". She mentioned the difficulty to get a finger all the way up there, how hard my prostate was to reach, and that she could only feel the bottom third of it. i did offer to try another position to make it easier for her to reach, but she declined it. She described it as "Small & smooth", & given the frequency with which i jack off, i expected nothing different. It wasn't really painful at all, like it has been in the past. It felt very crowded as she moved around inside. Didn't leak any pre-cum

Then she told me she would leave so i could get dressed and she would bring the "super bill" to the receptionist. I wasn't really expecting a genital exam or the offer of one, but i was a bit surprised that she didn't do a hernia check. This may have been my 1st physical without one. Kind of disappointed my genitalia was neglected. But if it's not part of her typical exam procedure for guys over 50, I'm ok with it. I certainly would not want to ask her to do anything that would make things awkward, especially in the beginning. I was just glad she was checking out my jockstrap.

agracier

Moderator

agracier

Moderator

Ok, so let's talk more about spellings. The word "arse". Some of the deliberate misspellings / alternative spellings sometimes come about because people may either try to avoid using something considered harsh (arse vs ass), or try to get by sensors, so they'll misspell certain words, or spell them cryptically, like using fv

I was under the impression that being an arse was much worse and pejorative than just being an ass ... and I seem to have a memory of hearing the same pronunciation and use of arse in British made shows ...

Curiously, the spell checker I'm using here gives 'arse' as a mistake ... I also personally think it sounds kind of posh as well.

miked

That Norman Rockwell picture was hanging in my doctor's office when i was a kid. It was in the waiting room which is about the worst place to put a picture like that. I didn't find it funny but the parents did and some of the girls did. Rockwell would never have painted a picture of a girl like that but boys were fair game. I remember thinking every time that I saw that picture in the waiting room that I could be that kid in the painting in just a few minutes. And sometimes I was.

jabbotuk

Girls are fair game too. Although it wasn't a picture on the wall, I once nervously leafed through a magazine in the waiting room only to find the picture of a frightened young girl bending over bare-bottomed for a shot and, as feared, I was next.

Amethyst

Moderator

Amethyst

Moderator

Ok, so let's talk more about spellings. The word "arse". Some of the deliberate misspellings / alternative spellings sometimes come about because people may either try to avoid using something considered harsh (arse vs ass), or try to get by sensors, so they'll misspell certain words, or spell them cryptically, like using fv

I was under the impression that being an arse was much worse and pejorative than just being an ass ... and I seem to have a memory of hearing the same pronunciation and use of arse in British made shows ...
Curiously, the spell checker I'm using here gives 'arse' as a mistake ... I also personally think it sounds kind of posh as well.

I think "arse" is just the British spelling of "ass". It is just the word we use instead. It is not a misspelling, it is just a British version of the same thing.

Kid

Arse is the old English for ass. That is what my Gran called it and she was from Scotland. Even Chaucer used it in his Canterburry Tales. 😃

JTMac

That Norman Rockwell picture was hanging in my doctor's office when i was a kid. It was in the waiting room which is about the worst place to put a picture like that. I didn't find it funny but the parents did and some of the girls did.... I remember thinking every time that I saw that picture in the waiting room that I could be that kid in the painting in just a few minutes. And sometimes I was.

We know Norman Rockwell's intention for the painting, as can be read on http://www.nrm.org/apprints/?p=647.

Though not all patients today would be aware of NR's intentions behind the painting. Which may lead some to wonder why the doctors would want a painting like that in their waiting rooms. They might consider it a hint to check out the credentials on the wall. They might consider it a hint to patients as to what to expect, that it's normal, and to be brave, as even little boys get shots. Is it psychology to try to put patients at ease, or does it make them more tense?

See, we have Miked's take on it (quoted above). Some find it funny, others find it terrifying, and others yet may find it anywhere in between.

Any of you folks ever recall seeing that in any of your waiting rooms ? What was your reaction ?

agracier

Moderator

agracier

Moderator

Any of you folks ever recall seeing that in any of your waiting rooms ? What was your reaction ?

When I was living in the US, when it was to most intents and purposes still a Norman Rockwell era, I really can't recall ever seeing this painting hanging in a doctor's waiting room. I was more interested in the magazines left for reading.

But of course I do remember the painting from seeing it on some occasion or another, maybe in a magazine, heavens knows where, this kind of painting seems omnipresent when you start thinking about them. I do know that as with most Rockwell paintings, I thought it very realistic, which I liked in art, but also a bit on the 'cute' side, sort of 'goody-goody' and a bit contrived, as if to give older people a glowing smile on their face. There was an everyday quality to it, but always a tad too idealized. The grown-ups were always so kindly looking and understanding, the kids so darn cute, like out of an 'Our Gang' short.

Of course that is a great gift to have as an artist, being able to distill the essence of an experience or setting and recreate it in paint.