The physical exam i just had with my new lady doc

Yes, this Norman Rockwell painting was indeed hanging in the waiting area

http://www.lewisbond.com/rckwellpgs/astudydro.html

I researched out this new doc via the insurance co. website, with a subsequent Advanced Google Image search on women's names. After all, i need something to motivate me to actually schedule & wanna go for a physical, vs procrastinate, procrastinate, procrastinate.

All of you folks who complain about how cold the exam rooms are, this place had to be 80 F. Felt that way, especially after doing some walking from where i could park for free. Speaking of walking, the 2nd patient i saw enter & hang out in the waiting room was wearing crocs. The music in the room is a lot like what i'd hear whenever I go for massages.

It's a husband & wife practice. There are no nurses from what I could see. They do everything themselves. No chaperone or anything, as I went one on one with a short lady doc who I would guess to be early 60's. I heard the husband tell his male patient "Pants on, everything else off".

My lady doc came to the waiting room to get me. We went to a corner room & she told me i could sit anywhere except her round stool. I sat on a normal chair, leaning inward as the conversation progressed. We chatted about my health history for about 20 minutes. I spoke in a low voice, having compromised it the night before at the David Gilmour concert @ MSG. When she did ask me if i did any street drugs, I did come clean for the first time to a health care professional and admitted to smoking pot. She just wanted to get an idea how much & how often i smoked. No lecture, no scolding, no comments, nothing. By now, perhaps up to half her patients probably also indulge, so maybe that's why she seemed unphased.

Some of what we discussed was from my electronic Ipad responses to their form questions. "It says here you had cancer". I was like "Well, skin cancer". We talked about my knee surgery, although i forgot to mention my history as a carton stomper which likely led up to the accident. At this point, i could tell she was beginning to realize that i'm clearly a one-of-a-kind patient. Perhaps in a good way, if considered interesting.

As we continued to talk, she went to the cabinet and took out a folded dark blue gown and set it down on the exam table/bed/chair/whatever. i wondered what it was like, how long, etc. When we concluded the discussion she said I could leave my socks and underwear on, and put the gown on with the opening in the front. Since it's our 1st meeting & we're opposite gender, I want to comply to make her feel comfortable, and not like there's some perv in the room. If she asked me if i wanted to wear the gown, i would have declined. I didn't bother with the ties in the back though.

When she came back in, she noticed my gown was open & informed me that there were ties in the back. I mentioned that i was ok & i wanted to make it easier for her & i'm "old school". She responded "Don't worry, i've seen all kinds of.." For me, this 1st meeting & physical was more about making her feel comfortable with me as a patient. Then when i become a more regular patient, it may wind up being that the gown is optional as she gets more comfortable with me & understands I have zero sense of modesty.

We started with the height & weight thing, probably the 1st time i've ever been weighed for a physical in pretty much just a gown vs clothes. Or did she do my 161/103 blood pressure 1st. That wound up being her biggest/only concern during the physical. She went to draw blood herself, and I warned her my veins tend to hide when they know or see needles coming. She did have to spend a little time until she could find one. At the concert the night before, i thought to tell her to disqualify my triglycerides reading because of recent indulgence prior to fasting. I didn't mention it though...yet 😉

God bless the fact they can get my temperature through my ear, because unlike many of you, i'm not exactly a fan of rectal mercury. She learned that I can't stick my tongue out as wide as most people because of my slight deformity. She turned the lights off & looked at my eyes with a small light on various angles as i stared at the corner of the room. I didn't have to do any kind of vision test. She just asked about my vision & hearing.

Steth time. She started at my neck She announced where she was listening, when she moved to my heart & chest. Then she announced she was moving to my back & that's when we dropped the gown. Afterwards she told me to lie back. i thought that this is usually where the fun begins.

She continued using the steth at first. She proceeded to do some pressing down near my liver, then spleen, asking me to let her know if it was tender anywhere. As she was examining this area, i noticed her looking over at my exposed jockstrap pouch. I would say this is the 1st time she noticed i wasn't exactly wearing boxers or briefs. She was checking it out as if it were something unusual. Not that she had a puzzled look, but more like a slightly studied look. I was getting an undetectable rush from looking at her looking at it. I was surprised & delighted that she looked as long as she did.

We were down to the last 3 things she was to do. The EKG, the tetanus shot in my arm, & earlier, as we discussed my family history, she recommended a DRE, "if that's ok with (me)". To which I replied "Yeah, definitely. I've had them before. I'm up for anything." , meaning there was no part of a physical that would be off limits.

She left to get the EKG equipment. The door was on an angle to the room, since it was a corner room. The way it opened, the exam table is behind it, so people can't see inside except maybe where my feet were. Though when the door is open, there is a nice gap between the door & the wall it's hinged to. There was nobody around to look in anyway. When she returned, she had to open the door wide to wheel in the tray with all the EKG stuff.

Maybe she could use this as a learning experience to skip the gown next time, to minimize my perspiration. I wished her good luck, between my hairy chest & tendency to perspire. And as she discovered, she would have to shave me, and then did have to deal with my slippery skin. I don;t know if she was serious, but she said next time, she would send me to a cardiologist. She was frustrated that when she thought she had all the electrodes nice, the machine wasn't giving her anything. I think the only 2 electrodes that behaved throughout were the ones on my thighs, not too far away from the pouch of my jockstrap. And i wondered if she had taken another look when she was attaching those. My perverted mind was hoping so.

Yes, there was lube & stuff on the tray for the DRE. She placed a short white drape over my lower region, and asked my to roll to the side & "slide (my) "underwear" down". She mentioned the difficulty to get a finger all the way up there, how hard my prostate was to reach, and that she could only feel the bottom third of it. i did offer to try another position to make it easier for her to reach, but she declined it. She described it as "Small & smooth", & given the frequency with which i jack off, i expected nothing different. It wasn't really painful at all, like it has been in the past. It felt very crowded as she moved around inside. Didn't leak any pre-cum

Then she told me she would leave so i could get dressed and she would bring the "super bill" to the receptionist. I wasn't really expecting a genital exam or the offer of one, but i was a bit surprised that she didn't do a hernia check. This may have been my 1st physical without one. Kind of disappointed my genitalia was neglected. But if it's not part of her typical exam procedure for guys over 50, I'm ok with it. I certainly would not want to ask her to do anything that would make things awkward, especially in the beginning. I was just glad she was checking out my jockstrap.

Thank you for sharing your physical with us.

The next time you see her for a full exam, you might remind her that she previously had trouble reaching your prostate. You can then suggest another position like on your hands and knees. You can just tell her that you read somewhere that it makes it easier to find hard-to-reach prostates.

You were probably very smart to play it cool and comply with her request to wear the gown. I usually do that as well the very first time I see a new doctor. After the first visit and I already have some kind of rapport with her, the gown is usually neglected completely.

I was about to mention, or started to, getting on my knees, thinking just as you said, it would make it easier. i think she resigned herself to the fact she has short fingers & wouldn't reach regardless. Older people who have been in their profession for quite a while are not so open minded. (alert: here comes my overly used line) Doesn't make them bad people. (end of alert). Just makes them a normal part of the human condition i've come to understand so well

Next time, knowing her (pun alert) shortcomings, i will just get into that position & ask her to try it. Then whatever she wants to do after that.

Like with my lady derm doc, my first exam was with a gown on, as the assistant mentioned because we were opposite gender. But my most recent exam with her, I was wearing only a jockstrap. Next exam is already next month.

So i figure eventually she won't bother with the gown, especially if it contributes to me perspiring at the time of the EKG. I told her my hairiness is like already one layer of clothing for me. I hope she wasn't serious about sending me to a cardiologist. that would be inconvenient. Although what if the cardiologist turns out to be a hot older woman to whom i get to be exposed in a jockstrap. I keep looking at positives.

And of course my photo adviser on allkink thought my exam sounded hot 😃

Note to self: Find a doctor with long fingers.

Note to self: Find a doctor with long fingers.

Long fingers seem to make the prostate exam easier for them. However, isn't it much more fun for the patient if the doctor has to work at it a little bit? If they have shorter fingers, then it seems as if they're in there a bit longer and have to try and press harder and further with their hand to feel anything. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy it all, but if you want to experience a longer time with someone's finger up your ass, shorter fingers are the way to go.

That painting is a classic - have seen it in some medical buildings. My doctor keeps the exam room at 78 which is quite comfortable when you are in various stages of undress.

As to the other post regarding finger length, my female doctor does have short fingers and does have to work her way in to reach the prostate. But I much prefer this because her fingers are narrow - I had a fat finger go up my butt one time and that hurt!

As to the other post regarding finger length, my female doctor does have short fingers and does have to work her way in to reach the prostate. But I much prefer this because her fingers are narrow - I had a fat finger go up my butt one time and that hurt!

What a wimp.

You should talk to the guys who would do anything to have a fist in there. 😁

Susie,

You are tough. Not all guys like something up there. I am an exception. Be kind to those pusseys who do not.

Course

Susie,

You are tough. Not all guys like something up there. I am an exception. Be kind to those pusseys who do not.

Yeah ok @course. Maybe some men do not like it but it does not mean it hurts.

I had a fat finger go up my butt one time and that hurt!

Same here. And at the time, the number of fingers in my lifetime that had been inserted in me for a prostate exam could be counted on one hand, literally. So I was, though probably still am, pretty tight. Not a fan of anything anal. As far as i'm concerned, it's an organic waste hole that should have a one way sign pointing outward

So Susie can count me in with the wimps, And Of Course, Course can count me in with the "pusseys"

Last night I uploaded a photo album you are welcome to check out, comprised of a few pics where I tried to re-create what the doc's view of me was, based on her height & where she was standing. I used a disposable lab coat from work to sub for the open gown i wore. And of course it's the same sexy alluring FLA orthopedics undergarment I had on during the exam. It marks the 1st time i've submitted pics of myself on Zity, making Zity the 5th website where i can be seen wearing a jockstrap.

I am sure your turds are bigger than the finger you experienced. 😁 😁 😁

I am sure your turds are bigger than the finger you experienced. 😁 😁 😁

true

I love this site. Where else can you go from Norman Rockwell, to better positions for a DRE, to fingers in your ass to turds in one string of posts! Please keep it up.

I am sure your turds are bigger than the finger you experienced. 😁 😁 😁

Exactly! I have never had a rectal exam that I would describe as hurting. Uncomfortable perhaps. But one finger of any size shouldn't hurt. Unless you're used to turds the size of a drinking straw.

@Healthy44 Maybe you should get "No Entry" signs tattooed on your arse. It would tell your doctor that traffic was just one way.

In post 9 I incorrectly spelled pussys

In post 9 I incorrectly spelled pussys

...and again. It's actually spelled 'pussies'.

...and again. It's actually spelled 'pussies'.

you beat me to it!

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or in French it would be POUSSIES.

just joking 😁 😁 😁

On the Internet it is spelled both ways I kind of like pusseys. Not sure I care............ It is the same part and in the same place.

I was traveling in Japan many moons ago. One of the many unique aspects of Japanese society is the astonishing range of products available from a vending machine (A very lucrative revenue stream for The Yakuza). I purchased a beer from a vending machine at Sapporo Station. It was called "Plussie".

On the Internet it is spelled both ways I kind of like pusseys. Not sure I care............ It is the same part and in the same place.

I've found there is an urban dictionary spelling of 'pussy' as 'pussey', but it seems to be a mis-spelling that has been adopted by a minority.

There are common mis-spellings of other English words, but the fact some people use these instead of spelling the words correctly does not make them accepted alternatives. Unfortunately this causes the language to become twisted over time. I think we should care that we spell words correctly.

Strange how discussion of this word emerged in a topic that has looked at the merits of a doctor's finger being inserted in the rear entrances of richardpr44 and Healthy44. 😁

There are so many errors on the internet it isn't funny.

DrZ is correct. PUSSEY is the adoption of a misspelling by people who don't know any better. It is PUSSY. PUSSEY was put into the urban dictionary by some idiot who doesn't know how to spell, and now that it's there and has been read by so many people we can't fix it. Stupid people shouldn't be allowed to write in internet based dictionaries or encylopedias. (or encyclopaedias for you Brits who have Encyclopaedia Britannica.)

As far as spelling is concerned, if you looked at how many people spell the word "DEFINITELY", D-E-F-I-N-A-T-E-L-Y you would think that's how it is spelled--BUT IT ISN'T.

There is definitely no "A" in definitely.

Exactly! I have never had a rectal exam that I would describe as hurting. Uncomfortable perhaps. But one finger of any size shouldn't hurt. Unless you're used to turds the size of a drinking straw.

So i was thinking about this. (lol). At 1st, i wanted to say that stools are generally softer than a solid finger. Then i thought about valves (on anything) geared for flow to go generally in one direction, which may explain why voiding may not be as painful as entry.

The last few DRE's I've had weren't really painful at all, albeit they were performed by women. But if you could have seen my wincing face during the first few i'vce had, especially with male docs, you'd know it wasn't pleasant.

@Healthy44 Maybe you should get "No Entry" signs tattooed on your arse. It would tell your doctor that traffic was just one way.

LOL, Amethyst ! Although that sign would be for everyone else. Docs would be ok, given family history, i know it's essential. It would be like putting a tat on my face cheek, saying "no fruit or veggies".

Strange how discussion of this word emerged in a topic that has looked at the merits of a doctor's finger being inserted in the rear entrances of richardpr44 and Healthy44. 😁

It's ironic how I haven't had a real physical in years, and i love how a post about it led to a discussion on spelling discrepancies.

I've found there is an urban dictionary spelling of 'pussy' as 'pussey', but it seems to be a mis-spelling that has been adopted by a minority.

There are common mis-spellings of other English words, but the fact some people use these instead of spelling the words correctly does not make them accepted alternatives. Unfortunately this causes the language to become twisted over time. I think we should care that we spell words correctly.

Just to respond to this - off on a tangent again, but it is too interesting not to note: I've begun encountering the word 'penus' here and there, obviously being used for penis. However, far from being a misspelling or indicating anything about a person's (lack of) command of language, it seems like a deliberate use that more accurately reflects everyday pronunciation. Just say the word a few times in an everyday, normal manner and you will probably hear it pronounced as 'penus'.

There is nothing odd or unusual about that, many words are spoken differently from their spelling. I wouldn't be surprised if in the coming years/decades there will be a shift in spelling towards penus. And if there is, who is going to stop it? English has no officially recognized oversight committee, just a bunch of people who make a living compiling and publishing dictionaries who would love to be considered the Big Honchos, but whose real job in reality is not much more than (carefully and minutely) observing and recording how English is used by the aggregate masses of English speakers. They do not determine the language, they only record it.

There are only misspellings when a few people do it in an 'unaccepted' way. Once a lot of people start misspelling, then it becomes just an alternative spelling.

You have no idea how lucky you are to be using English as language. It gives people the possibility of unlimited linguistic creativity.

"Pussey" is "incorrect" now but maybe it's not such a bad idea, so as to make a clear distinction between its meaning a vagina, and "pussy" meaning a term of endearment for a cat. You know, the same way as we Brits distinguish between "tire" and "tyre"....

"Pussey" is "incorrect" now but maybe it's not such a bad idea, so as to make a clear distinction between its meaning a vagina, and "pussy" meaning a term of endearment for a cat. You know, the same way as we Brits distinguish between "tire" and "tyre"....

That would be useful.

Also consider: in some movies I've heard someone being called a 'puss-ay' with the stress placed on the last syllable, meaning in this case that someone was a wuss, a wimp ... so not a bad idea to have a different spelling to differentiate between the two ...

OL, Amethyst ! Although that sign would be for everyone else. Docs would be ok, given family history, i know it's essential. It would be like putting a tat on my face cheek, saying "no fruit or veggies".

Ok @Healthy44 how about your no entry signs on your arse have "Except for access by doctors" written under them? Hahaha

My personal preference would be the words I saw above the doors to a railway depot in Germany: "VOR EINFAHRT HALT" 😃

Ok @Healthy44 how about your no entry signs on your arse have "Except for access by doctors" written under them? Hahaha

The positive with the additional text would be that people would have to look at my ass longer in order to read it. And the longer they glance at it, the happier I am, the author of 2 Zity blogs "The Need To Be Seen".

Ok, so let's talk more about spellings. The word "arse". Some of the deliberate misspellings / alternative spellings sometimes come about because people may either try to avoid using something considered harsh (arse vs ass), or try to get by sensors, so they'll misspell certain words, or spell them cryptically, like using fv