Euphemisms for sexual activity

“Waxing the (his) Carrot”

George Carlin from his skit on condensing the ten commandments. (Credit for finding this to TA)

Horizontal desires was the one I heard, as in describing dance as a vertical expression of horizontal desires.

A bit o crumpet

batter dipping the corn dog

bumping the uglies (apparently the privates are considered to be the uglier parts of the body….not what I think!)

"And let’s get down to do the nasty, freaky, funky, stinky, junky, let’s bump uglies in the night time between the sheets." By House of Pain

I don't agree with bumping uglies. That's a terrible name for what I consider the best parts.

Jump the bones

My parents used words like sex and sexual, just plain old functional terms. Needless to say the words were not much fun but one day (I was about 6) my big brother had to watch me. He took me to his friends house. I sat on a bed and all the teenage boys gathered around and taught me words like “pussy” etc. They would have me say a naughty world out loud and then roll over laughing. I really enjoyed the attention and left that day a very happy and well informed little boy. By the time I was in 5 or 6th grade I had a very good understanding of sexual intercourse but it just seemed to me that “fucking” would be more fun.

“Fuck shocked over the top”

Too good to leave out & it's attributable to @Dahiana whose probably a bit shy about posting it here … NOT !

I know I've been Fuck Drunk before.😵‍💫

🐾

I know I've been Fuck Drunk before.😵‍💫

🐾

Haven’t heard it put that way before…....but been there, done that! 😧

F.U.B.A.R.

Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition

Could be a good thing 😉 or bad 😠

🐾

Slip er some Motion Potion

😲

"There's catfish on the table," a southern sexual swing. "I hear Gospel in the air ..." could mean a more philosophical slant leading to an untanned view of a belle's bottom.

"I hear Gospel in the air ..." could mean a more philosophical slant leading to an untanned view of a belle's bottom.

Wasn't there some kind of sexual saying about a preacher's daughter? How easy it was after all that fiery preaching from the pulpit to get them all worked up, hot and ready to go?

"Get me a piece". Haven't used that myself, but did remember it.

For me just extending my hand to my sub works the best as a sign of "Wanna fuck?"

"Get me a piece". Haven't used that myself, but did remember it.

Made me think of my first time in a church youth group when I was in the army in GA. We went out to eat after the evening service and one of the oh so proper southern girls got my attention when she called the waitress over and asked her for a "piece of ahss". I finally realized she wanted more ICE.

For me just extending my hand to my sub works the best as a sign of "Wanna fuck?"

My wife and I went out to eat and were sitting at the bar after when a girl who babysat for us was there with her parents celebrating her 21st birthday. They had finished and were heading home when she saw us and decided to stay with us for drinks. Later she got talking to a couple waiting to pay for their meal when she asked the guy if he knew the mating call of a clam. She put her arms across her face, opened them and said "wanna fuck". The guy's wife was mortified!

@roscoe

Later she got talking to a couple waiting to pay for their meal when she asked the guy if he knew the mating call of a clam.

Good one @roscoe 👍😁

In my experience the best place to hang and scope out the sexual (and usually kinky/bi) landscape is a church. The generic church, not dealing with "types" of worship - just church.

Some of the "older ladies" (50's & 60's) will consecrate their undies walking from the pew to their Chevy. The pickings are good.

The “Old Jergens Jerk”

Handjob on a plane from the movie Missy.

"Well I'll be seein ya Al ... gotta go butter the waffle"

~ Charlie Harper

Isn't there a song from Prince where he says "You got the horn why don't you blow it?"

Here are some archaic and older terms of euphemisms for sexual activity I found:

fadoodling

shot twixt wind and water

play at couch quail

join giblets

grind your corn

ride a dragon upon Saint George

burlapping

cutesey-poo

ricky chow

fadoodling

Love that one!!! A couple more I found:

• Disappointing the wife
• Playing with the box the kids came in

What about the good old simplest of terms ... Hanky Panky

Ride the baloney pony.

Taking the dirt road. (poo-poo hole)

Ride the baloney pony down the dirt road?

Scrumping...

Canoodling...

Very old terms to say the least.

Dogging ... Boofing ... Shagging ... Nooky

Going down the Hershey Highway! Tossing salad!

Getting honey on your stinger

Here are some divided into categories:

Classic Faves

• Getting laid
• Making love
• Funny business
• Afternoon delight
• Knocking boots
• Doing it
• A bit of hows yer father
• Getting down
• Jumping bones
• Getting lucky
• Tap that

One Word Wonders

• Fuck
• Shag
• Bone
• Bang
• Boink
• Screw
• Nail
• Shtupp
• Ball
• Rut
• Score
• Smash

Food Related Phrasings

• Doing squat thrusts in the cucumber patch
• Bringing an al dente noodle to the spaghetti house
• Putting the bread in the oven
• Tossing a hot dog down a hallway
• Having a hot beef injection
• Sending out for sushi
• Boarding the beef bus
• A bit of crumpet
• Playing hide the sausage
• Banana in a fruit salad
• Baking the potato
• Batter dipping the corn dog
• Churning butter
• Filling the cream donut
• Glazing the donut
• Banana in the fruit salad
• A bellyful of marrow
• Passing the gravy
• Planting the parsnips
• Putting the sour cream in the burrito
• Toasting the bagel
• Stuffin the muffin
• Makin bacon

The Weird and the Wonderful

• Bumping uglies
• Matrimonial polka
• Horizontal tango
• Conquer the pink fortress
• Two-person pushups
• Assault with a friendly weapon
• A bit of the old in out
• Bedroom rodeo
• Hot yoga
• Parallel parking
• Bow chick a wow wow
• Bushwacking
• Chesterfield rugby
• A visit from old one eye
• Crushing buns
• Dipping the wick
• Disappointing the wife
• Bedroom rodeo
• Doing the nasty
• Business time
• Balls deep
• Exploring the hidden valley
• Hitting a home run
• Cleaning cobwebs in the womb room
• Riding the bony express
• Open the gates of Mordor
• Foxtrot uniform charlie kilo
• Slytherin the Hufflepuff
• Christening the yak
• Digging up the sand crab
• Bending over a barrel
• Harpooning the salty longshoreman
• Jamming the clam
• Pile driving
• Taking one eye to the optometrist
• Waka waka
• Waxing ass
• Wetting the willy
• Using a telescope to explore the black hole
• Wiggling the tooth-pick
• Torpedoing the eel
• Sending an email to the spam folder
• Souring the kraut
• Splooge bathing
• Wam bam thank you mam
• Fornicating
• Playing with the box the kids came in
• Tipping the velvet
• Pee pee friction pleasure
• Taking the skinboat to tuna town

The G rated Terms

• Testing the mattress
• Making faces
• Doing the monster mash
• The no pants dance
• A trip to pound town
• Checking the oil
• Sweeping the chimney
• Rumpy pumpy
• Adult naptime
• Carnal embrace
• Dancing in the sheets
• Driving Miss Daisy
• Entering the castle
• Give the dog a bone
• Hiding the bishop
• To know someone in the biblical sense
• Mashing the fat
• Pumping fur
• Whitewashing the picket fence
• Tunnel patrol
• The tube snake boogie
• Making a hole in the welcome mat
• Whittling the love branch
• Sharpening the pencil
• taking grandma to Applebees
• Waving the Weasley wand
• Seeing a man about a dog