Dear Charlotte
I am man that finds women fascinating creatures, and have always indulged in the pleasure, of pleasuring a female orally, there is nothing like the taste and aroma of a Vagina when aroused. I don't think I am the greatest lover on the earth, but the desire to please the women I have known makes me the man I am today. As to your being anxious, or uncomfortable, that is partially the fault of the person you are with, I would think that your previous lovers, never took the time to talk about this, most women do not express their inner fears,and that becomes a cycle that only makes the problem worse. Most, and I say most men, are oblivious to how a woman's mind or body works, I have made it a vocation, and very enjoyable one at that, trying to understand a woman's body and needs, (No Man will ever truly understand a woman's mind LOL) as well as her desires. Foreplay as well as conversation is at the head (no pun intended) of the list, getting comfortable with your partner is very important. When I am with a woman that I care about, I want to take my time to allow her to get to the point of no return slowly, and enjoy every part of her body while helping her to enjoy my exploring of her body. Only when I feel that she is in a total state of capitulation do I continue and if there is any feeling of tension, one must stop and either retrace what has gone on, or stop and talk about what she is feeling. Usually I can feel the tension drain away, as she becomes more and more relaxed, from being anxious to being aroused, and as her lover a man needs to understand what is going on just by the feel of her body. The next encounter you may have make sure that although in a heated moment you and he may be grabbing touching in a frenzied moment make sure that that person really knows how to touch, and where to touch you, and do not fear telling him to slow down, be patient, because you are not there as of yet. I do not know where you are from, but if near enough I would be pleased to show you how.
Only my opinion