Is Anyone Else Really Afraid Of The Doctor?
Uhm, yes, I too am afraid of the doctor. I'm not afraid of the doctor per se. I'm an RN, I worked with doctors. But going to a doctor scares me even though I'm into medfet. Whenever I go to the doctor, I get all nervous. Waiting in the reception area trying to take my mind off my fear by thumbing through magazines doesn't work. I'm so jittery by the time it's my turn, my hands are so clammy and my vitals are through the roof. Then I end up talking nonstop, giving the doctor a lengthy history of my symptoms and the meds I've taken that my doc (been seeing him since I quit the pediatrician at 16) just cant help but smile at me, letting me finish my nervous rambling before he says anything. LOL.
The question is, why am I so scared? I haven't had any traumatic experiences at the doctor's. I think it's the fear that the doctor will find something seriously wrong with me that scares me. And as an RN (I guess it's true to other health care professionals), I tend to have mild hypochondriac tendencies in the sense that there are times that any pain or symptom makes me think of worst case scenarios and going to the doctor makes me fear that my scary hunch will be confirmed. Also, being at the other side, as in being a patient makes me vulnerable, the power suddenly shifts. I mean, at work I'm used to be being the one giving and now all of a sudden I'm the patient and am the one who's surrendering myself to someone's power. This is the same with my feelings about giving and receiving injections, I love giving but dread receiving.
As with medfet, it's different in the sense that, it's play, so I need not worry about the doctor finding something wrong with me, so I can relax and enjoy. As with the power thing, yes I sub so I get to be patient but I also domme so I get to be doctor too, unlike in real life where I'm just the patient in that doctor's office and cant switch.
But despite the fear and apprehension felt in the RL doctor, when I get home, it becomes fodder for imagination and even material for play. But that's only because I'm already free from the pressure and fear and am once more comfortable, excited and horny as hell. π