I go with my partner to her exams. Generally the doctors or NP's are cool. We don't ask, they call her name and we both get up and walk in. I hang out in the hallway while she pees in their cup. That gives me a minute to look and listen and get a sense of the layout of the place. My heart is usually pounding in the waiting room.
They usually have a chair by the doctors end of the table, but I generally stand up and look behind her anyway. If my partner is in any pain or distress I run up and hold her. This is very rare as they tend to go very slowly and gently with me around.
On one visit the NP saw I was behind her when she was doing the bi manual exam and kind of looked at me. I said I could never find the ovaries but I never pushed too hard from the top. Once she saw my partner was cool with it and I had a genuine interest she took her hand out and showed me exactly where she was reaching and where she was pressing.
It was an interesting visit to say the least.
We giggled in the car on the ride home about what she must have been thinking, but she was totally cool with us. She acted like it happened every day. I think she was happy to poke through veil of silence and when she saw a real interest she was happy to put the weirdness of the situation down and share her knowledge.
We also wondered if she was going to go home to somebody and have visions of us going at it like rabbits while she was going at it with her partner. And, yes, my partner was quite lubed up in both orafi from the exam, and yes, we did make use of said lube as soon as we got home.