Medical chaperones during intimate exams

I had a female physician for a few months, and am going back to a male. She was reluctant to examine me when I had any problem relating to my genitals, had her assistant come in (which was fine, but annoying because I had to wait). It seemed like a lot of screwing around when all I wanted to do was get checked and get a diagnosis. Too much caution--I was there for medical purposes, not titillation.

No, but I think that would be super embarrassing and exciting.

According to the GMC ( General Medical Council the Governing Body for Doctors in the UK ) When you carry out an intimate examination, you should offer the patient the option of having an impartial observer (a chaperone) present wherever possible. This applies whether or not you are the same gender as the patient .

A chaperone should usually be a health professional and you must be satisfied that the chaperone will:

a. be sensitive and respect the patient’s dignity and confidentiality

b. reassure the patient if they show signs of distress or discomfort

c. be familiar with the procedures involved in a routine intimate examination

d. stay for the whole examination and be able to see what the doctor is doing, if practical

e. be prepared to raise concerns if they are concerned about the doctor’s behaviour or actions.

A relative or friend of the patient is not an impartial observer and so would not usually be a suitable chaperone, but you should comply with a reasonable request to have such a person present as well as a chaperone.

So any UK partner that wants to stay with their partner take note of what has been said by the GMC about being allowed to stay " you should comply with a reasonable request to have such a person present as well as a chaperone".

Axqr I have experienced the reluctance of female physicians like you described. I also have friends that experienced it also. I had a Hydrocele and she said it was just an inflammation without even examining it, HELLO! I went to a Urologist as a self referral and he told me I should have had that seen too and had been carrying it too long. I wound up being admitted to the Hospital that afternoon and he did the procedure the next morning. Now I always see male doctors and most times even bypass primary care physicians and self refer myself to a specialist. I mean it costs twenty bucks extra, Big Deal!

My regular doctor never offers a chaperon. His nurse does all the preliminaries and then he comes and does the exam. When I went to a urologist, he has his young, female, physician's assistant in the room while he examined my prostate. I have been to a dermatologist and she has another lady in the room while doing the exam who is taking notes and provides the supplies when the doctor takes a sample, etc.

At my last dermatological exam, there was a female nurse taking notes throughout. She was seated quite far away so there wasn't any direct observation.

Had this once, not counting my mother up to the age of sixteen, I needed a medical for a drivers licence when I was about 21 but my regular doctor had passed away and the practice had been taken over. When I got there, the doctor, an Egyptian, was out but his wife had taken over the surgery. Her English wasn't good and she was having difficulty with the form and what was required so the receptionist was called in, she read the questions on the form and did the filling in and afterwards the doctor signed it. I was more concerned about passing the medical than the embarrassment at the time.

A few years ago I got a physical from a female nurse practitioner. It was just her and me in the examination room until she checked my penis and testicles. She called another female nurse in for that part of the examination. Unfortunately, she did not do a rectal exam on me. Once she was finished with my genetalia, the other nurse left.

Only time I have had a chaperone present during an exam.

Depending on which doctor I am seeing there may or may not be another person in the room during the exam. My PCP has her nurse come in to help with the occult blood test after the DRE. But otherwise she may step in and out. My dermatologist always has a med tech writing down her observations during the exam.

The only time I've ever had more than one person is if there is a med student, in which case the student performs the exam while the doctor or Nurse Practitioner supervises.

Just had my annual physical today. My doctor is a nice black lady.

The majority of the exam was just her and I. When she finished with the abdominal exam she told me that she was going to get her nurse to chaperone and she would check my "man parts".

The female nurse stood near the door and just stared at my junk as the doctor palpated my testicles and checked for a hernia.

I think it would have been less awkward to not have the nurse at all. Definitely prefer a female doc.

My dermatologist has her assistant in the room who mostly makes update notes the computer on previously identified areas on my skin.

The only times I've ever had a chaperone(s) were all at the dermatologists skin exams. My first visit ever to get a full body skin exam there were two female chaperones with the male doctor. I was told before hand there would be two because of training purposes (they just started using EMR and the younger nurse was brought in to teach the older one how to use the software on the tablet). That was intimidating... and I loved it (at least afterwards)! That is now my usual dermatologist and he always has a female nurse present with him. She stands right next to me the entire exam taking notes and assisting the doctor (moving the gown, tying the gown, etc.). Doctor on one side of me, her on the other. The nurse / chaperone calls me out of the waiting room, takes my vitals in the hallway, escorts me to the exam room, goes over questions and my history, gives me a gown with instructions to take everything off, leaves the room, and returns with the doctor for my examination.

The only other time I've had a chaperone was at a different dermatologists office. That was for a free skin cancer screening with a male P.A.. Once I talked to the PA, he stayed in the room while I stripped to my underwear and had a seat on the exam table. The nurse (or whoever she was) walks into the room and leans on the door behind her. I think (but don't know) that she was waiting outside listening until she heard the crinkly paper on the table. She was clearly only there as a chaperone. She didn't say a word, didn't take notes, didn't assist in any way. She was standing off to my side a little and just stared at me. The weird part is that once he had me flip over onto my stomach he told me that he was going to look at my bottom. Before he did that though he told the nurse to go ahead and leave. If your one job at that moment is to be a chaperone, I would think that would be the part you need to witness. It was almost like he didn't want me to get embarrassed by having a strange lady see my behind so he sent her away. Whole experience was weird.

Anyone here are or ever been a medical chaperone during a real-life intimate medical exam? If so please describe any scenarios and your thoughts and experiences.

I've had many testicular exams, hernia checks and rectal/prostate exams over the years, and whether the examiner was male or female, I've never had a chaperone.

My wife used to have a chaperone for her physicals/breast/ pelvic exams, until I started accompanying her. I guess I'm the chaperone now!

I never had a chaperone, however a female assistant was once present with the doctor for an urological exam.

Another time a female nurse entered without knocking to ask a question to the doctor, while I was in underwear. It is certainly the habit of this doctor to enter without knocking, it would have been the same if I had a rectal examination at that time.

Yes, nurse for dermatological exams.

They found a suspicious lump in my wife's breast or more specifically over by her lymph nodes. It turned out to be nothing but they sent her to a specialist and he had me come into the room. I don't know if it was so he could fill me in on what he thought it was or because he wanted a chaperone but I think she was more embarrassed to have me in there watching her than she was with the doctor.

Great stories! Thank you all and keep them coming! But my original question was asking to hear from actual medical chaperones who observed real medical exams especially of the opposite sex. Sorry for the miscommunication!

My doctor (female) did when I went in for my prostatitis check. My PT (male) who did a pelvic floor assessment and treatment for pelvic floor disorder I got from waiting too long on the prostatitis didn't. Neither did the ultrasound tech (female) who did a abdomen/testicular ultrasound for something unrelated.

My doctor doesn't usually for basic genital exams. Not sure what the trigger is.

I have only had the experience of a chaperone being present in the exam room once during an examination. This was a number of years ago in an office I was sent to for a preemployment exam. The doctor was a middle aged Caucasian male who kept his female nurse in the room throughout the exam. It really added a lot to the anxiety and embarrassment I felt during the exam and was terrible to go through but has given me tremendous pleasure thinking back about it over the years since it occurred. I do not know how others feel about it, but I find it embarrassing for staff members in the doctor's office to know what I have been through just because they know why I am there and what the doctor's routine is, but to have someone present to witness the proceedings and actually hear the doctor instruct me and see me submit is incredibly humiliating. Not to mention the fact that this particular female nurse actually watched the examination and got an unobstructed view of my genitalia and my anus since she positioned herself to have a full view of my body.

I have not had the opportunity to have a witness for a play exam but this is definitely on my wish list. For it to be the most satisfying experience, it would need to be a stranger rather than someone known to me. Part of the thrill for me would be having a stranger see my genitalia for the first time.

@exam_doc: I had a very similar experience to yours a couple of years ago. I had never even heard of chaperones and had no idea what one was, until the day my female NP brought one in completely unannounced. I was seeing her for a swelling I’d just discovered on one of my testicles, and was already a little self-conscious about being examined by a woman who I found attractive. She asked me a couple of questions, then handed me a cloth (which I later learned is called a drape), and said I should cover myself with it after I pulled down my pants and underwear. She left while I undressed, then sat down on the edge of the examining table as she had instructed me to. I was so clueless, I thought maybe she was going to examine me under the drape. Then the door opened and she came back in, with a female nurse right behind her, the one who had done my intake vitals. Without a word, the two of them walked around the table so they were standing on either side of me. The NP told me to lie down, and I think I just froze mentally or emotionally, because I was utterly mortified when she pulled the drape all the way off me and I was fully exposed from belly to ankles, lying between these two fully clothed women standing on either side of me, staring down at my crotch. While the NP felt both of my balls the nurse just stood there and watched – didn’t say a word, didn’t make eye contact with me. Nothing. As soon as the NP was finished she turned and left the room. That was the most embarrassed I’ve ever been in my life, but like you I've come to enjoy reliving the memory of it.

I have not had the opportunity to have a witness for a play exam but this is definitely on my wish list. For it to be the most satisfying experience, it would need to be a stranger rather than someone known to me. Part of the thrill for me would be having a stranger see my genitalia for the first time.

@exam_doc: Definitely!!!

I have a male doctor so I had a female Chaperone not the reverse yet maybe in the future

Sometimes, the chaperone is not a medical staff.

Sometimes, the chaperone is not a medical staff.

I was under the impression the chaperone had to be medical staff, except for parents or in the case of in-school physicals.

I was under the impression the chaperone had to be medical staff, except for parents or in the case of in-school physicals.

There's no legal requirement to that effect. Anyone the doctor wants can be brought in to witness an exam. You always have the right to refuse, however (but be prepared to reschedule your appointment with a provider who doesn't require witnesses. And if you're not told about it in advance, if you're not given an opportunity to consent or refuse -- you can and should lodge a complaint.

There's no legal requirement to that effect. Anyone the doctor wants can be brought in to witness an exam.

That's interesting. I wonder if HIPPA allows that; probably.

But it begs the question, to the extent the chaperone is for the patient's safety, would a non-medical person know the dr. shouldn't insert his ungloved fingers into the patient's vagina to treat a hip problem, a' la Larry Nassar?

I watched the documentary on Larry Nassar last night on HBO. The assumption would be that if there was a chaperone in the room there would be nothing untoward. The patient and practitioner being protected. However in most cases of abuse by Larry Nassar the child's parent was in the room and sometimes another adult. Even after a child victim complained and Michigan State University faculty staff blew off the allegation as a false accusation they asked Larry Nassar to always have an appropriate adult in the room and to use gloves etc. So even after countermeasures as a parent being present and the recommendation of an appropriate adult being present this Doctor still carried on his reign of abuse. So in other words I question the use of a chaperone unless they are trained and know what is going on in an intimate examination. To go one further I feel it should be a a good guideline that practitioners and doctors and nurses should only treat children of the same sex. There have been far too many instances of predators getting access to children and vulnerable people because of the exceptions to the rules.

One of my friends told me about an exam he had recently that I found interesting. He's 30, good looking, very fit and athletic. He has some OCD tendencies, and recently has been obsessing about possible STDs, to the point where he's gotten tested 5 times so far this year. Last week, he went to an urgent care for a STD test. He reported that he thought he might have been having some penile discharge (really just his imagination/worry). He said teh doctor entered the room with "another guy." He told him about his perceived discharge, and the doctor said, "Okay well let me examine you." So he, as he said to me: "I dropped my drawers and he checked me out with this other guy watching." When no discharge was seen, he had to admit that he was really just worrying about everything. The exam was over, the doctor dismissed the "guy", and then counselled my friend on STDs, testing, etc.

I don't think I've ever heard of a male doctor and male patient needing a chaperone. On top of this, with this type of exam, I'm sure the doctor wasn't just doing a hernia check, but specifically examined my friend's penis and meatus. Wish I could've been there...for moral support.