This subject keeps popping up as people access it or add to it. Even though I have written a response before I feel compelled to add another two cents.
Now, Im going to blow a secret that most women know, or should know.
Whenever I want to get my husband to do anything, i plant a seed of knowledge in his brain. A thought an idea. Of anything.
You don't want to come at a person with a firehose of surprising sexual medfet information! You can be honest without drowning the other person.
Let them know you saw a scene in a movie, read something in a book or article or someone mentioned this to you. It's really not that difficult.surely there are movies with sexual medical inuendos. Mention that oddly it turned you on.
When I started down this road with my husband, I told him I needed more. Something in my life was missing. I didn't know what at the time, i know I didn't want to join a book club, or play shuffle board. Of course i reassured him our marriage was still stable. You men have such fragile egos.. .. That was the start.
Baby steps. Respect for the other person's feelings. If they love and respect you, and want your happiness, they will hopefully go along at least to try.