Farting

Farts are fun! … 😈

Farts are fun…unless you're my wife!!! She's got a nose like a bloodhound (sense wise, not LOOKING!!!) and is prone to M..F…ing when I cut one! She leaves the room more often than not! Still fun….feels good, too,

Okay, how about this…

There once was a young man from Sparta

Who was quite a magnificent farter.

He could boom from his ass Bach's B minor Mass

And Beethoven's “Moonlight Sonata”!!

This goes on for 28 stanza's, but I can't remember the whole thing. Probably ought to be in “Humor”, but I'll let the Mods move it if need be.

I do enjoy farts, people around me not so much……

Ba Dum Tssssss , this was a terrible joke, sorry folks….lol

Za

My wife has completely lost her sense of smell - ergo, I fart indiscriminately around her. Unfortunately, she has not lost her hearing so usually she is aware when if do a backdoor sneeze or an anal salute!!

Few things can make me giggle like a schoolgirl more like a loud fart can, preferably launched at exactly the right (read: WRONG) time!

In a heavily chlorinated pool, I could have full liberty on my farts--it obliterated the smell completely, I never received any open critiques, and I could make the most fantastic variations in sound.

Farting has been a good way to test and see if our sense of smell is working or not. Sadly there is the occasional fart that nobody wanted to test. Potent enough to kill even the most annoying fly.

If you want a really good fart take a club soda enema - quart or more. It feels like more CO2 comes out than water!!

There was a post somewhere about a guy who got killed because a do-worker pointed the business end of an air compressor at his butt supposedly to induce a fart. Don't do that!!!?

I posted this before in a similar thread (seems there are multiple fart threads so it must be a popular topic!)

I was at the gym working out with headphones on - thought I could squeeze out a Silent but Deadly one with non one knowing - but right after I did it, several people were looking at me with confused grins o their face!!

I enjoy it when a playmate farts, and I've played with a few who also enjoyed farting and smelling me fart. I have talked a few into letting me give them air enemas so they could fart. Over the years, I have had several who not only let me pump air up their bums, but wanted to pump my bum, too. One in particular actually enjoyed air so much that she would let me inflate an HWB bag with air, insert the nozzle and inflate her with two qts of air. A couple of times, she asked for a second bag on top of the one in her: a full gallon of air in her colon. She farted for several seconds during the first fart, and continued farting big farts for the next three hours. SHE embarrassed the fool out of ME when we went to dinner at a nice restaurant and she cut a huge one as we ate!

I had a friend that had a barium enema with air. On the way home he cut a world record 23 second fart according to his wife who was timing it. Farting seems to go hand in hand with enemas, the red face when it happens is priceless.

If you like women FARTING - check out this site - Best Female Movie and TV Fart Scenes.

https://www.farthub.com/best-female-movie-and-tv-fart-scenes/

I live for those times when I'm in public and I can cut a nice, quiet one that doesn't smell.

I had a rich retired Doctor customer. When I would have conversations with him he would be farting. And they were quite audible. It was extremely hard to keep a straight face. Neither one of us ever acknowledged what was happening. I miss the old bugger.

I was an altar boy and one day the priest was lecturing us about something and let out a big fart. My brother and I started laughing and the priest got very mad and acted like he hadn't done anything. We had to hold it in until he left and ended up rolling on the floor we were laughing so much.

I was an altar boy and one day the priest was lecturing us about something and let out a big fart. My brother and I started laughing and the priest got very mad and acted like he hadn't done anything. We had to hold it in until he left and ended up rolling on the floor we were laughing so much.

You - an altar boy!!! I was one as well until my partner and I started a fire with the candle lighter in the back room. My mother was furious!

The other night I let out a “small” fart. Sadly it was not the most floral of scents. At the same time my sub decided to roll over towards me and fluffed the sheets too much. The groan and snort he made told me he did not appreciate the smell either.

Farting fly

The other night I let out a “small” fart. Sadly it was not the most floral of scents. At the same time my sub decided to roll over towards me and fluffed the sheets too much. The groan and snort he made told me he did not appreciate the smell either.

Sounds like enema time to me. I think he would appreciate that!