Good pain versus bad pain

It is very difficult to explain to someone who is not into some forms of play like CBT for example how pain can feel so very good. Anyone want to try expounding on this topic?

Speed

There are all different kinds of pain and each will effect each person differently. Pain in the BDSM world is a tool. That tool is used to put the submissive into a certain specific frame of mind. There is more than ONE frame of mind. First there is pain used to reinforce the authority of the Dominant partner. In order to submit there has to be some form of punishment if you fail in your efforts. A spanking can run from severe to sublime depending on the tolerance of the receiver. It needs to be enough to make the submissive wish in general to avoid it in the future. If it is too little you end up with a sub that Tops from the bottom by being bad to get what they want. Punishment pain needs to be painful enough to at least slow this sort of behavior.

Pain as pleasure is a different thing all together. Properly applied, pain can be used to place a submissive into a sort of trance where pain becomes pleasure and the sub flies in subspace. This is VERY pleasurable and addictive!!! I works like this... We as animals hve all maner of primitive reflexes and physiological responses that were important in our ancestors to keep them alive. Because we are intelligent animals, we can trigger these responses by faking out our primitive instincts.

Mr.Uggg the cave dude is walking down the trail with Mrs Uggg and all the little Uggggs when a lion jumps out and smacks him. In less than a second his system shuts down his pain, boosts his strength and he becomes able to act and react at an increased rate. His fear response is often inhibited and he becomes 7 feet tall and armor plated ready to take on the big cat with a sharp stick. Mean while Mrs Uggg has snatched up the little Ugggs and set new land speed records with a little Uggg under each arm. Adrenaline is but one of the many chemical compounds that are released into their systems and for just a little while they are super human.

Why do people ride roller coasters? Why would you want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane? You do it for the RUSH. You are tricking your system with fake danger to create a response like Mr. and Mrs. Uggg had. Pain used in BDSM can be like the roller coaster or skydiving. It is offered slowly and with gradual increases in intensity to trick the body into a full blown panic reaction that is a thousand times that of what a roller-coaster might give you. It is a wonderful experience and you share it with your Dom. I have seen a Dom and sub so high that you would thing that they were on drugs...THEY WERE!! the drugs though were MADE inside their bodies in response to this very special power exchange!!

It is this very response that makes the relationship between a Dom and sub so close and important. A sub is almost totally helpless. They don't KNOW how badly they could be hurt. A Dom is your protector...or a monster that may use you up like some kind of vampire. Becareful who you play with!

I personally have... possibly at times stupidly explored my limits. I don't have any. I have been beat bloody, burned, and cut and liked it all. I also am the biggest wimp in the world when my wife starts pinching bumps on me!! It is just a different thing and the mind set is different. My Dom generally protected me. She did beat me bloody but then I was still ready to go on when she called it over. She whipped me a lot less and it hurt me terribly for letting myself be burned at a party. That spanking was done fast and was over before my body could react and dull my senses. IT HURT! LOL and didn't leave much more than a red butt.

Pain is in the mind and each person has different abilities to take it. I will say this. The more often you trigger the endorphin releases, the faster it happens my ability to cope with pain has greatly increased over time. I'm not TOUGH I can just chose to not experience it as you might.

I loved my Mistress and when I accepted her pain it was my gift to her and proof of my love and dedication to her. I hope some of this is understandable. It is a hard thing to describe and explain.

I have found the difference to be preorgasmic and postorgasmic. Pre, almost any pain is a pleasure, post please don't please. I use this difference to separate punishment from pleasure. Nothing is better than an erotic pain session leading to an orgasm. Nothing is worse than being punished after.

If I have done something that warrants real punishment I confess to my master or mistress a few days ahead of time, nothing else is said. The day of our session all goes the same until the climax, then the punishment starts. I would promise anything to mitigate but this only leads to more punishment. There is nothing sexy or erotic just pain, and this usually corrects me for some time to come. I don't want it to happen again.

When I am thinking about the session the most memorable is the punishment. When I have to undergo another punishment session I look foreword to it but dread it. If I know it is coming that is all I can think about and it is very arousing until time to pay the piper then I wish I could jump out of my skin and hide.

Has anyone else had these feelings or experienced the "post big O" punishment?

Thanks

I totally agree with Mcnabb. Pain is great leading up to and orgasm. I could be tied and whipped silly and still beg for more till I cum then I am so sensitive you could barely touch me with a feather before sending me into hysterics

Thanks for introducing this thread Speedvogel K+, I hope to hear more about different types of pain and how it can be inflicted to give the most effective release of endorphins

Thanks DanL & Mcnabb for the perspective, I think I would be more into a pleasurable rather than punitive pain.

Interested to hear what type of erotic and sensual methods can give this gradual increase in pain you mention...sounds exciting.

I love the anticipation of the impact. The impact. And the residual effect from the impact. I like multiple impacts especially if they are spread out over a large area. My current Mistress is an expert and moving things around and being the implement of reaching my deepest desires. She knows how to lead me about the sub-space and bring me back. Pain can be a good thing, or a fantastic thing.

My lady loves pain. There is a point during intense pain play that she releases a large amount of moisture. I wouldn't say she actually squirts though.

She recently explained to me that she loves the pain as it transitions to pleasure. When the it transition from pleasure back to pain is when her orgasms intensify.

There is something about pain that can roll over to the most intense pleasure for me. It allows me to go deeper into myself and want more....

I just had a wonderful spanking.My wife spanks me,pinches and bites my nipples,and jerks me to orgasm while biting my nipples.It's a wonderful experience for me.

^^^^ Your wife is all too kind.

I'd do al the same spanking, biting and pinching, but I'd either prevent you or make you get your own orgasm. . . . . unless you turned over a new leaf and became a good boy! 😁 😁 😁 😁

Well yes pain can be good but not so much as to be crippling. a little pain stimulated you snd increases ur blood flow which heightens sensation

To help understand how pain dynamics work with any particular woman, I use a simple test. pre-arousal, try to add a clothes pin to a semi erect nipple...she squirms and cries out...well beyond the type of reaction you want...now, with arousal well established, put that same pin on an engorged nipple...watch the difference in reaction...a slow moan and pained acceptance shows how she is processing the same pain input before and during arousal. I use this as a guide for how to build the pain/pleasure levels in a subgirl. Few woman can take a clothes pin to their unhooded clit at the beginning of a session...applying one during pre-orgasm and you might just drive her over the edge. Learning what she needs is so much of the fun.

Suffering for ones lover is so intimate, the sharing of the experience is what does it for me, having my partner guide me through each level, encouraging going deeper and accepting each sensation. I also have a need to make my partner experience sensual pain, in many different forms.

The same pain can be good or bad for different people and even the same person on different days. It all has to do with where their mind is when it is inflicted and how it is inflicted. The threshold between the two is very thin, which menas if it is good it can still can go badly very quickly if the wrong "element" is introduced into the play.

Kinkycouple2:

The same pain can be good or bad for different people and even the same person on different days. It all has to do with where their mind is when it is inflicted and how it is inflicted. The threshold between the two is very thin, which menas if it is good it can still can go badly very quickly if the wrong "element" is introduced into the play.

I'm still figuring out what went wrong the last time I was at the receiving end of a "percussion play". It was such a negative experience I was "cured" immediately. When I think about trying again the idea scares me instead of making me hot. However what kinkycouple write might mean next time the experience still could be pleasurable.

I have recently -tentatively, carefully and very sensually- swatted my lover on his backside and flogged a close friend. I enjoyed doing that very much. Maybe that was what I was missing: a sensual, loving, teasing, playful intention. Lacking this, the experience turned into a harsh (self) punishment. (see page 7 of my blog for more details)

Looking back at it a few months later and with the added perspective of a (still exploring) top I can see many things that played a part in the experience "turning badly". First of all, although I knew this top to be safe and experienced from other people, not much trust was established between the two of us. So apparently "rational trust" and "bodily/emotional trust" are not the same. My mind knew I could trust him, my body didn't.

Secondly my expectations were way too high as I expected to get into an almost "transcendental state" I have had brief sort like experiments with running, meditation and even bondage one time, so it's not strange I had such high hopes, but an open mind is always a much better starting point I think.

Thirdly I was unconsciously holding back enjoying it in a sexual way because his wife (though she had consented to it) wasn't too happy about him playing with me and since the purpose was to merely demonstrate the impact of different implements on the body I must have unconsciously felt bad for becoming excited since that was not the intention of the exercise.

So with me being not completely at ease in the first place, putting a lot of pressure on myself to make this a "therapeutic" experience and feeling bad for being aroused it's probably not so strange it turned out the way it did.

Just dont make them bleed

Receiving pain is very much a variable experience. It depends on mood, experience, emotional position. A Dom needs to carefully, VERY carefully read all of the signs His sub is giving Him...verbal hints, body language, eye contact, for administration of pain to be effective and erotic. Indeed, pain as pain is not much of an instructor. Should a sub require pain, it must be administered in a loving and understanding (of her needs) way.

Having never really experienced the "pain" of which you speak, I can only imagine it was terrific.

I think it all depends on the person what pain they like. Some like a deeper pain say lik, wheree hooks, cu,tting where others might prefer the sting of needle play, others enjoy cock and ball torture, where others prefer spanking or whipping or cane. There are so many different types of pain it is just which one a person enjoys 😃

Am rather new to all this. I am anally erotic and am beginning to wonder what a good sound hand spanking would feel like! I am learning a lot about fetish in general and mine specifically! The more I read the more comfortable I feel expressing my immer thoughts. Thanks to all the open people who are sharing. I realize that the parameters for each person are different. How far I would go would depend on my partner i.e. trust/love.

There is not a clear line between pleasure and pain - sometimes pain is pleasure. I find that I crave a certain amount of pain, but I haven't been able to fully explore this as I am a solo player. Previous relationships have been totally vanilla. I suspect that with a willing partner this is something that would be a great deal of fun to explore. When you are inflicting pain on yourself you are in control - and part of it is I want to give up the control. Restraints likely would enhance this. It comes down to the fact that I like pain, even when self inflicted.

When I was younger I enjoyed getting spanked. While I wanted to get spanked from an older woman, I did get spanked from older men. Two of them were straight men. They were the best spankings during my times as a bottom. Point is, the spankings were NOT severe. For me Pain, not heavy pain was best when it flitted into pleasure. Many people think that the ONLY way to spank is severe, to spank hard, leave marks. There are some of us that would rather have that quality of pain/pleasure, yin and yang where it turns into something electric...and I'm referring to what some would call pain.

If i fall from a bicycle and hurt is bad pain,and when someone you love kisses and hugs you,becomes less or disappears.If your dom spanks you and you want he/she loves you and enjoys spanking the pain transforms the tears of pain to tears of happpines(?) and we have a warm feeling and on bottom too as a reminder proof of the pleasure we gave,and the pleasure we took by giving.I think,you?

These have to hurt:

http://www.eroprofile.com/m/videos/view/tit_torture_heavy_files_6

http://www.eroprofile.com/m/videos/view/titttorture_topB2

I think of the pleasure in pain as being somewhat of a fix for a sensation junkie - for myself, the pain is pleasure when I'm eased into it by a Dom ... a well-warmed bottom tends to stripe beautifully with the cane, but very hard whacks given out of the blue elicit not only outrage but no bruises from me.

CBT and "purely painful" stuff has never really caught my fancy to give or get. It's not what I'm wired for doing or feeling it seems. Here lives my cold fears- that someone might get coerced into emotional damages to please a lover.. or to fit in as part of chat... I am chilled to my core that some people might NOT be in empathy with a lover or even chat folks to "get it" about hard limits being hit too hard. Warm and loving or just friendly chat about expanding our perceptions is cool- but some of us have existential traumas at fragile levels. And getting triggered is a risk we bear willingly or simply try to evade letting be seen. Sometimes we hide it for and from ourselves? Getting too deep here or not.... As said- the zone of expanding horizons but not hurting self or others beyond what's mutually agreed as good for all. And nope- one person's "good" is NOT always the same as anothers!

If I ever fucked up on misreading suchlike from anyone here- my deepest apologies!

Yet- there's a few extreme sensations of objects in my ass or pressures from enemas/laxatives etc than "can be" Orgasmic bliss *IF* I'm in the proper Mind for them. It's a close overlay to what some BDSM folks term "Sub Space" except my presumably "Endorphin High" can be quite apart from a partner or even a fantasy of one. It's often reduced to my whole world existing in that "next set of deep contractions" as an enema works it's magic. Time STOPS.

My breathing-the deep grippings in my belly that make my breathing come in gasps..pants- and the moments of a breath taken away. It's one more of those things that some of us are smiling&nodding at whilst others cannot imagine what we'd like about those feelings. Pleasures and pains are just so.

It does indeed hurt some of us like- or worse than... death to feel an enema's cramping if NOT in the mood for it. Or to feel ANY unwanted "pain" Yet some of us submit to that for a lover's approval or out of fear they'd leave us. An enema- or whips- or candle wax- or "whatever" can be torture or orgasm as with ALL Extreme Sensations we find blended into our Lovemaps whether by choice- accident- or coercion.

I can accept our free will choices of whatever we enjoy or tolerate within reason for a lover's pleasures on OUR terms.. But I condemn to deaths worse than fate any monster who coerces another person into such scenes! Verbal or chat play can for some people hurt not one whit less than a physical whip or candle wax burn. if it hurts too much you're not doing it right...

We can play with such things of our desires so to speak- NEVER by unwanted force... even if it's only emotional force. I treasure consent&trust too much to tolerate it's abuse

There only form or pain I thoroughly enjoy, but it really turns me on - buttock injections from beautiful nurses. The more they hurt the better I like it. No matter how painful, I am always sad when the needle comes out and it is all over. I am also disappointed if I can sit down after getting my shots.

Pain and pleasure can have a very thin line between them. I have found that if my girlfriend starts out spanking me hard with something severe, (cane, heavy paddle or heavy strap) the pain is nearly unbearable. As she continues however, the endorphins kick in and an otherwise hard spanking becomes somewhat pleasurable. I give credit to my GF for doing an incredible job of adjusting the severity of the strokes and the spacing of them so that I can have my craving for an ass beating satisfied so well. I also enjoy having her handle my balls roughly, but there again it can be a fine line.

I believe that the human buttocks were clearly designed for punishment. The skin is sensitive and there is little chance of damaging bone or organ when getting a proper ass beating. I get a great deal of satisfaction by enduring a good spanking. Knowing that my GF loves me enough to enjoy my proclivity is the biggest pleasure, also I feel like I am being penitent for some of the dumb things I do that annoy her. I have never had an orgasm from being spanked, for me the feelings inside are the reward. Many times a spanking leads to some great sex though. 😉

Any type of pain delivered from anyone to someone else is all a matter of perspective. There is no way to tell someone the pain they enjoy is bad, and there are times, with the right instruction and patience, the pain you loathe becomes pleasure. As eagleclaw stated, there is a very thin line, and whether it gets crossed or not is going to be dependent entirely upon the people involved. Honestly, if my Master stopped everything every time "I" thought I couldn't take anymore, there would not be any real power exchange between us. Perspective is very tricky and tends to blur the lines at times. 😉

I note to one of my spankers concerning an up coming session.

To have to stand before you while you apply forty whacks with that big paddle is consuming my thought process today. To then go over your knee for more paddling and the have to put my legs up and spread them for those stingers with the bath brush on my taint has me touching myself.

I so look forward to application of that strap that I can hardly wait, the the cane right in the crease until I am wondering if I can possibly stand another, then you give me ten more.

Then you put me on my back and put your dick down my throat and balls right on my nose to make have to breathe around them, what a sensation. How I wish you would let go, and let me give you complete relief.

When I let go I know I have to stand for forty more across those tight shorts, these I do not want but I know they are going to be laid on with more ferocity than the first forty. I wish you would make me take you again when I am in an unaroused state, that would show true devotion. concerning an up coming session.