Good pain versus bad pain

The line with pain is also very different when playing solo. There is a lot more thought involved - you can't just give into the sensations, there is constant evaluation and self-diiscipline to push limits. I sense that I could push a lot further with someone coaching me, or taking me in hand and wresting control. Bondage ties into the latter - you give up control and have to focus on sensations. There is no escape. There is no analysis. There is only the now.

"There's a fine line between pleasure n pain"--Written & recorded by Australian rock legend Chrissie Amphlett (sadly, deceased & truly missed.RIP) lead singer of The Divinyls.....One amazing LADY & Icon who saw /lived both sides.

The thread made me think of a quote I read years ago by a spanking model, Nikki Flynn. She did a lot of work, including for Lupus which has a reputation for some pretty rough stuff. I have seen a few of Nikki's videos -- she can take a lot of punishment. Anyway, she said "I don't like being spanked. I like having been spanked." I think the endorphin thing was what did it for her....and many of us.

The distinction between pain and pleasure is a very mutable one for me. I like to slowly increase the amount of erotic pain to my genitals, always just on the edge of being intolerable. To prove to myself that I can take it. As the session continues, my tolerance rises, but it is still definitely pain that I am feeling.

Gradually, however, my perception changes, first to simple intensity, but not identifiable as either pleasure *or* pain, merely just something incredibly intense.

Then, when it all goes just right, that intensity feeling morphs into pleasure. Sadly, I can never stay in that state for more than a minute or two before I get an explosive orgasm.

As the orgasm subsides, I am left with a huge feeling of satisfaction and contentment that I have been able to increase my tolerance levels.

My sense of pain is dulled. Therefore, instead of pain, I feel pleasure. Inside and outside of play.

I think of "good pain" as extreme sensation rather than pain, though it can easily cross over hence the​ need to be very aware when administrating extreme sensation. It is an incredible turn on to as far to edge as possible without​ crossing.

Rayme ,

I can't help but agree with you !! I love the thought of being spanked ; caned . but the actual event is a little disturbing , however once it is over I gain an erection !!!"

Eagleclaw

You are so right there !!!!

Nicol1

You are SO RIGHT !!!!

I guess kind of similar. If there's an erotic component or the pain is worked up to it's more pleasant.

As far as tolerating real pain, I.e. not done for fun, degree and duration wear me down more (especially duration and that over 2 weeks). If I feel some control and know what's happening that helps significantly.

In the CBT games I have played in the past, we would toss a coin to see who went first so it was nothing about being a dom or a sub. We both had to endure it for about an hour. However, if the pain applied to the genital or anal area caused you to lose your erection then the concept of the game was obviously failing and the session would have to end. It was the role of the "doer" to make sure the "victim" stayed erect, make him suffer some good pain and make sure he didn't orgasm before the end of the session. All sessions were concluded by being made to come on a mains vibrating device.

At a simple level, pain (and for me CBT pain) intensifies orgasm. There is also a bit more to it I suppose - I live the role play around it and also the anticipation.

You are absolutely right !! I find pain really turns me on when administered nice and evenly over my bare bottom , even to the point where I demand harder strokes of the cane so as to leave wields on my bum , that I can actually count !!!

I find it much more difficult now that I've not got a girlfriend to punish me ( she died unfortunately 8 years ago ) and I'm finding it so hard to get a replacement who will indulge me !!

I must admit I've not tried that hard at present as I simply cane myself then masturbate afterwards !!!

I'd love a decent lady friend who would not only issue my punishment but also wanted to receive one as well , for which I'd take her up her bum !!!!

Any ideas gratefully received and acted upon

I personally think that some of the "pain" things available to be viewed on the www are far beyond normal pleasure pain. I cannot see anything remotely sexual in most of these. Pain in sex is to enhance the strength of the inevitable orgasm and not to causes such lasting damage as some of the videos seem to suggest.

Cbt pain going it solo is always gratifying. one can cum without being hard as the pain level is torqued up by tying your stuff tightly. this is certainly good pain

I believe that good pain and bad pain is really a personal decision for the person receiving the pain. I have met subs that for one it is bad pain but the same activity for another is good pain and they can not get enough of it. That is when good communication is mandatory.

Here is an observation on how one woman processes pain.

This particular woman wanted to see what tit clamps felt like. I had her stand in front of me with her hands at her side. I attempted to place a pincer clamp on her nipple. She cried out and pulled away. She said it was too painful. I filed that thought away and latter, when she was tied on the floor on her side....her feet tied to her hands, a hogtie, I had her chest sticking out and I had been teasing her and edging her for awhile, I attached that same pincer clamp and as I was doing it, she just had this glazed over look on her face and her nipple took the clamp with no problem,....she moaned but did not cry out or even flinch that much.

My reasoning was that her endorphins had kicked in and she was now processing this pain as simply stimulus. Her need to orgasm was tied to the fact she now had to overcome the additional stimulus of the painful clamps. It seemed that her orgasm was heightened, hence the reason to apply them...yes?

It became evident that certain pain enhanced sexual stimulation....and that's fun.

I find that good pain is insanely erotic. I would define that as spanking, mild slapping, nipple twisting, forced butt plug and deep rough anal sex with very little warm up.

I never allow anything that leaves a scar or that is cruel.

I find that good pain is insanely erotic. I would define that as spanking, mild slapping, nipple twisting, forced butt plug and deep rough anal sex with very little warm up.

I never allow anything that leaves a scar or that is cruel.

FSG,

Do you ever include pain/discomfort from enemas, either very large or crampy or severe expelling urges or large inflated enema plugs, in your good pain list?

Eric

I am very much so a sapio/demi sexual. In the right setting with the right person, I could find multiple hard orgasms from pain that is delivered that earlier by a different person that turned me off and had me counting it as bad pain.

@GoodGirlGA what you mean with "sapio/demi sexual"?

Thx

Za

It is very true that for some females when for instance..............................

You are given a large volume enema from a man and it hurts so much and becomes so painful and yet from another man a large volume enema you feel the same pain but can tolerate it.

Sometimes it just makes a difference who you are with, where you are and certainly your state of mind.

The same goes for being spanked............... how you may be able to tolerate a very harsh spanking from one man but from another you end up begging him to stop.

There will always be good pain and bad pain in everything we do.

It is very true that for some females when for instance..............................

You are given a large volume enema from a man and it hurts so much and becomes so painful and yet from another man a large volume enema you feel the same pain but can tolerate it.

Sometimes it just makes a difference who you are with, where you are and certainly your state of mind.

The same goes for being spanked............... how you may be able to tolerate a very harsh spanking from one man but from another you end up begging him to stop.

There will always be good pain and bad pain in everything we do.

I don't enjoy or seek out pain of any kind, including from an enema. However, when I'm given one or more enemas as a sub to my Domme partner, I can definitely tolerate and probably enjoy more discomfort or mild pain from distention or cramping than I would if giving it to myself.

Eric

Partly it's a matter of where the pain arises. Pain to the mid thigh, back, elbow, etc may seem purely pain.

And there is a curve involved. The initial shock is just that so it needs to be on the gentle side. a sudden violent jolt of pain has little erotic behind it, for most of us but a slap on the butt that becomes more frequent and more intense, gradually, moves us into a place where a severe hit may be less shocking than the initial slap. There is a evolving threshold that rises if things are done right.

And an irony is our sensitive genitals can be highly aroused by pain if it follows this template of incrementally increased intensity. For most of us.

CBT is one of the hardest types of pain play for men to wrap their heads around if they are not into receiving it. A friend of mine is into CBT and wanted me to administer it to him. I had to start out very slowly, the concept was so foreign to me I could not imagine the things I was doing to him were pleasurable for him.

The way I abused his cock and balls, if done to me, would have killed my libido instantly. I used to view fetishes from the perspective of did I want them done to me. If I did, they were good, if not, I wanted nothing to do with them. What a dummy, lol!

I found after getting over my initial confusion and apprehension about CBT play that giving CBT to another man could be a huge turn on.

The first time I stuck a needle into his balls was rough. Today, I'm looking forward to our next session where I'll be using 24 needles!

I feel sad for all the men into CBT whose partners have yet to understand their craving and will not participate. Guys and gals, please know that if your partner is into receiving CBT he is not crazy and slowly experimenting can be a blast for both of you. Guys into CBT, don't go for the brass ring with someone new. I know you want it hard and extreme but baby steps please, otherwise you risk asking them to do far more that they are mentally capable of at the moment.

I think CBT can also be very subtle. I find that for my balls it really depends where you hit them. On some places, even light finger taps are painful, but I can take more if you move 1cm to the side. The nice thing about this is that it creates a feeling of vulnerability, because what if they accidentally hit harder in the wrong spot?

For me, I am realizing that I use inflicted pain, by myself or someone else, to over ride the physical nerve pain I have in my legs, due to physical challenges. When I am torturing myself, nipples, cock and balls, the pain I purposely inflict, creating good endorphins, makes me feel better even when I am done. I have always been a masacist, and am enjoying pushing my limits. It is interesting for me, that who performs the torture, makes a big difference. I can deal out some pretty severe self torture. I keep pushing pain until I cum. If my wife and I are playing, it seems to be different. I really prefer my heavy torture to be with another man. I miss having a male torture partner.

Boy my wife can set my nipples on fire and I'm on my way. The pain is intense but the orgasm is the lunar express