Domination and Humiliation

Personally I don't believe they go hand in hand....I think humiliation is used as part of domination.... I have always preferred verbal humiliation and have experienced subtle public humiliation...as far as punishment goes I do believe they are somewhat humiliating and meant to be..

I feel humilation does not have to be part of the dominant or submissive relationship. You can dominate without humilation and it is much more enjoyable for both. Recieving discipline and sensual pain is very erotic without the humilation. Encouragement and even pushing the limits can be done without the humiliation. It creates trust between the dominant and submissive which is important when trying new things. But the most important aspect is watching the submissive for signs of distress, then stop and wait, should i continue, do you need a minute sometimes can go a long way.

For me Domination and Humiliation go hand in hand. My wife /mummy dominates me by spanking me and making me wear nappies and dressing and treating me as a baby and when we are out and I am wearing nappies under my clothes she will make quite comments about my nappies which is humiliating. I do enjoy it though. the one thing I would like would be forced to be dressed as a baby in front of her friends

Humiliation has been a driving force for what my dom has insisted of me. I am sure the objective is to completely eliminate any notion of self esteem and to encourage complete dependence. From the start he insisted I was completely hairless which made me feel vulnerable and much younger than my age.

He put me in bulky disposal diapers and plastic pants from day one so there has never been any hiding the fact that I an diapered. At home that is all I am allowed to wear. Out of the flat I have to wear cheap, unfashionable clothes that come in high XL sizes, usually via ebay and only change them when I am allowed. He also ordered from the start that I follow a very calorific diet with the objective of making me put on weight. I am now morbidly obese.

He is also very practiced at making clearly audible critical remarks when we are in public about my weight, personal appearance, incontinence, dress sense and general cleansiness. He loves to over order for me in fast food restaurants and then makes a big thing about what a glutton I am. Little do the people who hear this realise what trouble I would be in, if I did not eat everything up and then ask for more. Yes, humiliation goes with the territory.

I think that domination is required for control and a good effective punishment but humiliation is certainly part of a good true spanking because the sense of having to lower your pants and bare your bottom

Love to be dominated in my diapers and plasticpants and mind mommy

For me, definitely. There is no bigger thrill than being humiliated by a sir. Enemas, diaper shitting, laxatives before going out, raingear when it's sunny or double diapering up so it shows. Possibly a collar when in public. So many great variations.

I used to see a pro dome woman. We used to have about 1 session a month. I loved the bondage and being under her control but I was never into humiliation.

Domination and humiliation do not go together. I love being dominated but not humiliated or degraded. I especially hate being called names and do not tolerate that from anyone. I like slow firm sensual but painful domination. I would walk away from the humiliation and disappear

While I agree with an earlier comment about domination and humiliation going hand in hand, I take a slightly different position that I definitely want this to happen in front of others, particularly folks I work with. I know it's a familiar story, but as the boss in my unit, I'm usually the one that issues 'commands' to my staff. The idea of having that power stripped away from me, particularly in a sexual environment, is a real turn-on for me. I think I'm most attracted by the fact that my staff (mainly women, as it turns out) would get to learn how much I really crave being the one who has to respond to the needs and desires of someone else.

I think is is a matter of definition, or at least my definitions ,,,

I define humiliation as attacking ones self-worth or self-esteem.

I don't believe in humiliation.

I want to help my partners self-esteem grow as a result of our getting together.

Embarrassment is fair game.

As a top, one of my requirements is that you are readily accessible to me.

That means no interior doors closed when we are together.

That includes the bathroom door, even when you are releasing your enemas.

I don't think they always go together, but I love being submissive to my dominant wife.

I believe the two very much so go hand in hand... and yes the humiliation can come in many forms

Interesting that someone here made a distinction between humiliation and embarrassment, an interesting distinction I'll have to think about some more. As a switch I love having a real or fantasy Domme controlling me and "forcing" me into more and more intense consensual fetishistic behavior, mostly including rubber, sneakers, plugging, enemas and restraint as part of D/s. Having her gradually increase the level of control and intensity of submission, pushing me farther or harder into rubber enclosure/sweating, longer and larger enemas, more and more restraint and satisfying her sexually is obviously very submissive but also embarrassing at my utter lack of control. For example, dressed in rubber and sneakers and being told I'm getting another quart or two of water before I have to hold it while giving her orgasms crosses perhaps a fine line between embarrassment and humiliation, but it's all very satisfying and arousing.

Eric

Interesting that someone here made a distinction between humiliation and embarrassment, an interesting distinction I'll have to think about some more.

Distinction between embarrassment and humiliation.

Here's an experience I had. This is the true part. I'll keep it short and condensed. Once in my house in Spain, I went out into the hillsides looking for a mountain-bike a lady had left behind during the night because she was lost. We climbed all over the place, got dirty and sweaty and found the bike. Back at the house, the lady wanted to wash up and relieve herself, so absent-mindedly I let her into my own bathroom. I wasn't thinking clearly, because that is where I had all my anal plugs and medical instruments on display. Now, when she was finished she was all grinning and smiling and then it hit me what she had seen. The lady was as good as a stranger. I was very embarrassed and probably turned red and all, but she never mentioned anything aside from being a bit amused.

That was embarrassment.

Now imagine a counter-factual encounter where the lady comes out of my bathroom, all red and halfway outraged with some of my plugs which she then shows to my neighbors. That would have been humiliation. Luckily it didn't happen that way.

Interesting that someone here made a distinction between humiliation and embarrassment, an interesting distinction

I agree that most things here that are referred to as being humiliation are basically just embarrassment. I think the word humiliation is used and probably overused mostly because it sounds sexier then embarrassment and has more impact.

They definitely can go hand in hand but don't have to is how I see it. You can definitely be dominated without being humiliated. What someone finds humiliating is all based on what an individual perceives humiliation to be. I think it would be hard to be humiliated without feeling as someone had dominance over you maybe not physically but at least mentally. I personally love to be dominated and being humiliated is something I definitely enjoy.

I don,t know for sure but going back to diapers because of wetting is hard on ego and being the only one diapered in the house.

Do you not think that Domination and Humiliation go hand in hand?

No, I don't. At least not in one direction. One could be totally dominant over another and yet never say a degrading word or humiliate them at all. Domination means control, it doesn't require certain ways of displaying or keeping that control.

The other way, yes I guess. If you are humiliating someone, you are doing some dominating and controlling.

Absolutely not ! I like feeling dominated, I dont think I could ever be with someone that is not dominant. I need, crave, want that feeling of being cared for, protected, safe and yes in the bedroom controlled. I enjoy giving myself to my partner.

Humilition is never ok with me. Its a hard limit I will not ever agree to and would also stop me dead in my tracks. If my partner ever knowingly crossed that line or even pushed that limit it would permanently end right there and then.

Knowing your partner, and being able to read them is extremely important verbal and non verbal.

I don't think they need to go hand in hand. While I'm not in a dom/sub relationship, I think I'd love to be a sub to my wife. But, I want that relationship to stay within the confines of our home and within the context of sexual activity. Other than that, we find it quite comfortable that we are a 50/50 partnership. But, yeah, I'd love for her to tell me what I was going to do each day to fully satisfy her every sexual need. Satisfying her is truly my only sexual need. Of course, if I did my job correctly I would hope she would reward me with a good pegging.

There are types of humiliation that fall into the erotic. The more the giver enjoys doing something, the higher the embarrassment.

As a long time participant as a Switch in BDSM relationships, I have a strong belief in the importance of deep and ongoing conversations with partners. One area that is important to explore is the ego-strength and background of each partner. For myself, I am strong enough and experienced enough to accept any embarrassment and/or humiliation given me, because I am very confident with who I really am. However, I do not assume that all others have a similar background and self image (and consciousness). For example, if I find out a partner has struggled all her life with weight-control, when domming her I am certainly not going to use language like, "Get your fat ass over my lap . . ." or comment on her extra curves in a public play session. Yet if a Domme comments, after I have just gotten out of a swim in cold water, "What am I going to do with someone with such a small cock. I need a "real man"! I know the real truth, and can remember the times that partners have struggled to take me in.

I try to remember that we all develop our thoughts, feelings, and sensitivities in a context and that context is at least slightly different for each of us. The deeper we can understand, respect, and appreciate that the more our relationships can grow to be positive and mutually supportive.

There is no doubt that part of the process of completely dominating me is for my Dom to humiliate me both in private and public. Since I have been in this relationship I have been made to become morbidly obese. This has given my Dom many opportunities to humiliate me in public. He forces me to wear clothes that I have already out grown, which makes me look much fatter and feel uncomfortable. He forces me to walk faster or up stairs knowing that it will make me sweat and become short of breath giving him ample opportunity to comment loudly on my fitness. He orders the biggest meals possible for me and then complains me to the waiting staff about my lack of control and gluttony. When he force feeds me he makes sure he leaves food stains on my clothes which I have to continue tio wear for days afterwards. He is always forcing me to fit into places he knows that I cannot fit: the back of a two door car, a cinema seat away from the aisle, banquette seating in a restaurant, small cluttered antique shops, etc. and then complains audibly about my size. Also, he insists we go clothes shopping but only goes to shops where he knows they do not have 5XL plus sizes so he can publicly berate me. At home he treats me like a pig and often puts all my food mixed up in a bowl on the floor. This he knows will leave some food on my face which I am not allowed to wash off. That is until one of his mates drops in when I am ordered out to tidy up immediately.

I am a light weight in the dom/sub relationships. But I think there has to be respect - both ways - for any relationship to work. Some of what I am reading here is disturbing in that there apparently is no respect - in fact blatant disrespect toward the sub. It sounds more like an abusive relationship - maybe even a co-dependent relationship (like an abusive spouse). Hard to believe this will work long term.

I think the 2 do go together although I’m not a big fan of severe humiliation,mild forms of humiliation through tasks and assignments lets the sub know who is in control

Since I have been in this relationship I have been made to become morbidly obese.

@substeve Uh, this is disturbing. I'm all for kinky fun and if this kind of humiliation really is your thing, that's fine. But becoming obese to 'get off' is extremely unhealthy! This will take yrs off your life, lead to numerous other health issues with organs and joints, and will basically kill you.

Kink is great, but dying for it??

Of course I am in a consensual relationship. I love being fed and my Dom is very good at gratifying my craving to be over fed. It is an amazingly arousing experience. So on the one hand he gives me exactly what I want and on the other he uses it against me to humiliate me. But then the humiliation is part of the enjoyment. That being severely obese may bring all sorts of health issues gives this relationship added attraction.

Humiliation goes hand in hand in the dom/sub relationship but still should be consensual.

Humiliation has always been my hallmark of sex. For instance I enjoy giving blow jobs tremendously but the is also a humiliation aspect to it for me. The way I grew up, a man was considered badly if If was sucking dick so while I enjoy the activity, the smell, the taste, the feel of the veins bulging and the cum splashing on my mouth, I also am thinking the whole time about me being a faggot, sissy, a cock sucker like we used to say.

There are somethings I don't like to do, like rimming. But when told to, I do it willing even if I say I'm "forced" to do it. The humiliation of licking an ass is what is hot for me not licking the ass.

When I was in a dom/sub relationship when we were in public the humiliation was between my partners and I because it is not right to inject our games on an unsuspecting non-consensual person.

However, we often went to parties of bdsm groups and the humiliation in front of strangers was the most exciting thing. Especially when I wasn't allowed to get off myself.

I have Dom tenancies but don't consider myself a Master.While I'm sure many relationships are consensual to start from what I have seen it is whatever makes the Master happy and while he or she is responsible for health and well being the comfort level isn't. It is whatever the Doms whim is at the moment. The submissive has no say and usually wants none