Why are female enemates for mostly straight females hard to find?

To clarify the above, I say "mostly straight," because I'm in a relationship with a man (who, sadly, abhors anything having to do with the anus/anal) and I prefer men. However, I'm not opposed to experimenting with another woman 1-on-1 (and NOT as part of a 3-some).

Why are female enemates so hard to find? I'm in my early 40s, and when I was a teenager, I had close girlfriends that involved a lot of interests. For example, I had a girlfriend that I went clubbing/to bars/to concerts with. I had another girlfriend that I met up with strictly to go jogging or to do yoga/meditation. I had one who was in a book club with me - and as budding writers (she has since become a published author who you'd recognize), we'd trade stories-in-progress. And I had yet another girlfriend who was studying to be a cosmetologist - and we hung out to do nails, try facials and skin treatments and experiment with hair color, etc.

As I said above, I am in a relationship with a man who IS NOT into anal sex, enemas, or anything suggestive of that part of the body. I have had an anal/enema fetish since I was a child. And oddly enough, this is the only relationship I've ever been in where I could not get....anal attention. I love the man and wouldn't think of going to another man for this, hence, thinking back to being a teen and having close girlfriends. Funny enough, I have a close friend who was trained as a nurse. She knows of my desires, and was honest in, that, "You know I'm your friend, and if you medically needed an enema or a colonic, you know I could help you, but...for the purpose of getting off...I'd feel really odd doing that with you."

So....how do I find a close friend who would be into anal play and enemas -- and maybe other non-anal interests? And ideally, another woman who was married or with a man and who wanted to stay that way...but if we ended up making out or getting frisky, it wouldn't be...risky? I have tried Craigslist...but get weirdos. And men. I DON'T want to do this with another man! AdultFriendFinder is strictly a hook-up site.

Does anyone "get" what I mean and am looking for? If so, any advice/thoughts?

I would think that it has to do mostly with safety reasons. How does a woman determine that she will be safe? Or a man for that matter? There are some bad people out there! In 1973, unbeknownst to me (I lived in LA, she in El Cajon), my sister began corresponding with a prison inmate. Of course, he fed her a whole bunch of bullshit (in the letters I read, later). He was released, they hooked-up at a motel, and the next day she was dead. It was her birthday; she was 23. She overdosed on heroin (I never knew she took any of this, only grass, uppers, downers.)

If you meet for an enema experience, after all, the individual could put something in the water when you aren't looking (because you're enjoying), miscalculate, and..... That is one big advantage of this site; there is an audit trail, and everyone knows it.

I think the best thing to do is rely on your partner to share your desires. My wife and I trust and rely on each other to share fantasy events. As a nurse she gives me prostate exams, uses dildos on me and rubs by rectum, she knows I like this. I have never touched her anally because I know that she doesn't like it. I'd like to have her try an enema on me and have mentioned it. She seems willing but we've never advanced the idea.I'm sort of stuck here, not knowing if I should really push the suggestion of let it go. Maybe I should just buy some nice equipment as a gift. Any ideas?

Maybe you're asking a bit too much, medfet is not that common and the same goes with females interested in playing with an already engaged woman, if you add that you'd like another straight and married woman... you're really narrowing your chances.

You could try and find a woman/girl interested in enemas in your area and just be very very clear from the start that you just want to play and a relationship of any other kind is not possible.

The best of luck, be persistent and you'll surely find her.

I "get" what you mean, but quick results may prove elusive. The first step usually involves finding a close friend. Once you're at the point where you can confide in your feelings, at least you have a chance. Let's face it - it's unlikely you'll find someone with a lifelong anal/enema fetish like yours, but it's not all that unlikely you'll find someone open to exploring it with you - especially if you're a true friend. Good luck!

Good luck Rosebud! If you think its difficult for women, you should be a guy who's looking for an enemate (female).

I feel alot of people have enema and anal fetishes(both male and female) but don't want to admit it . The best bet is try to hint around and bring it out. I had a friend once tell me she hadn't had a good bowel movement in over a week. After toying with the subject I suggested an enema and she admitted she needed one. I finally gave a good old fashion red bag enema but we were both really afraid to admit to the fetish.

Now have elapsed more than two years, so I hope rosebud68 has already happily solved her problem.

If not, I suggest her to act like my friend Gloria acted with me.

( see my post at: http://www.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;topic=63201.0#new ).

In that case, everything was resolved in the most satisfying way. 😄

Unfortunately, I haven't found anyone yet. I do have a good friend that was a medical assistant, and I mentioned to her that I loved enemas and wished I could find a female friend to give one to me. I made it clear that it wasn't so much sexual as that I wanted an enema given to me in a nurturing way. We talk about everything and anything -- no taboos in that friendship. She said, "I'd love to help you out, but it would just feel too weird. I'm used to giving them to people in doctor's offices." Her aversion may have something to do with a conversation we had many years back, when she was having trouble with men and I was also. I said, "Well, if you liked women, I'd date you." She said, "If I liked women, I'd date you, too, but I'm just attracted to men." So, I don't think there is any possible way that I could ask a friend to give me one. All of my friends are straight women, and the one I mentioned is the most open-minded of all of them.

It saddens me to hear this, and I feel much solidarity for you.

In your first post you wrote: «I am in a relationship with a man who IS NOT into anal sex, enemas, or anything suggestive of that part of the body».

May I take the liberty of asking you the reason for his dislike?

I assure you that my question isn't due to a morbid curiosity, but only to my sincere wish to understand.

In fact, I confess that I've great difficulty to fully understand that assertion for two reasons.

The first reason is that I've never known any man who doesn't consider it VERY suggestive to play with "that" part of the female body.

The second reason is that - both for me and for many others - "anal sex" and "enema" are two totally different things. Surely compatible and complimenting each other, but totally different (As an example myself and my life partner don't like anal sex at all, though we are both enema lovers).

Will you help me understand?

What about those adult match making sites that allow for more 'kinkier' options to be listed/mentioned. i.e. down here we have audltmatchmaker.com.au quite sure you could find one and just state that you are only after some anal play from time to time and not any sort of relationship (apart from maybe making a friend with mutual interests)

I'd never ask an existing friend.

I think in general us enemaniacs are not all that common ive only ever met one girl that dug enemas. my wife will oblige me sometimes but not as often as i like still im pretty lucky to have her

I think most women tend to perceive it as dirty or painful. Once you can get them to overcome to fear and actually get them to experience it once they usually tend to be curious enough to try it again. So long as you give them a pleasurable first experience.

Yes my experience has been similar. Women in general are coy about erotic talk probably because they know it will light a fire in a guy's furnace. It certainly heats my furnace for a woman to be even indirectly sensuous. Whenever I have let a woman know of my mom's enema habits with me they have changed the topic. Well, except for one or two but they didn't offer any personal information nor did they offer to flush my system. The younger generations are more open about sexuality but I find them too crass about it and that looses the erotic value for me. If a woman did offer to do the enema bulb to me I would likely faint. Then I'd say, your place or mine. Where I live, Minnesota, it seems women of my age are very private about their vaginal/anal habits. Probably too much lutheran or catholic guilt.

I think the answer is way more simple than that. Men have a prostate, women do not. An enema is going to be much more pleasurable for a man both coming and going, in that respect. For us women, most of us just view it as going to the bathroom.

Traditionally speaking, womens bathrooms have stalls with doors, often times guys stalls don't. Women have been conditioned to do their business in private more so then men have been. So as previously mentioned, that has conditioned us also to view pooping as a more private afair.

Yes, while I will admit that there are women that like enemas, they are not as many as men. And women can and do find them enjoyable, especially if they are introduced to them properly. One has to remember that women are mental creatures not physical like men. Enemas can be physically pleasurable to women, but not on the scale as they are to men.

Physically speaking enemas don't provide me with direct sexual stimulation, as I am sure they do for men. For me I am starting to enjoy them because I know I feel better after, I know it pleases him to give them to me, and I feel very close to him and well loved when I am getting them from him. So in that sense they do sexually excite me. Giving them to him pleases me in the same fashion. I feel closer to him when I am giving them to him, I know he loves them, and pleasing him pleases me.

Mashie

I never realized that men enjoy a good enema more than women, possibly due to the prostate. I'm a giver and might be interested in exploring a friendship. I primarily enjoy giving a very loving enema with lots of praise and encouragement, both for helping with cleansing/constipation or for plain old fun. I have found that all of the lovers who I have given an enema too enjoy it and begin to want them more and more. It creates a feeling of trust and a deep bond and a sense of more intense love and emotional connection. I haven't had that many lovers and I do not give all of them enemas. Only the more special ones.

You may not want to consider this lead. But I have had the pleasure of meeting and sharing erotic enema play with both sexes at senior citizens bingo halls. Believe me there all not overly aged people. I've met more women then men. This one lady was a widow 60, looked 40, and a body of a 30 y.o., mmm.. Gorgeous and extremely sensual. So, finding a mate f/m mates isn't that hard. But, there you'll hear what they're chatting and you'll be surprised who you'll meet. Good luck..

I never realized that men enjoy a good enema more than women, possibly due to the prostate. . . .

I don't think that is necessarily true.

Many women including myself thoroughly enjoy enemas and quite frankly, I think most men over-rate the impact of the prostate on the enema.

Many women including myself thoroughly enjoy enemas and quite frankly, I think most men over-rate the impact of the prostate on the enema.

I for one agree with Susie. I rate the overall feelings and sensations produced by the enema as it meanders through the gut as far more intense than that of the prostate specifically. And there's nothing wrong with my prostate, for me to be considered an exception to what males will experience generally.

^^^^ That is exactly what my husband and many men whose intestines I have had the pleasure to flood have said!

Alas for all this time I have yet to find a female enema friend here on Long Island. Oh well, perhaps she's just around the corner...

I think part of the reason is that the ratio is perhaps 10:1 male to female who are "out" with the desire so if that's true then it's a matter of statistics. Your chances are minimal to start with and many women seem to prefer keeping their fantasies and fetishes private and that's fine too. Respect the choices of others whether or not you agree with them and for heaven's sakes don't try and talk someone into something they aren't ready to at least try. Being open-minded helps a lot.

I agree with Susie and Flburst58 - my prostate is not the center of the pleasure of receiving the enema. For me it is incredibly physically relaxing, but it is also the intimacy of the act and the trust/bond that is created between giver and receiver.

No one has a "prostate". Prostate is a position that might be preferred by some to receive an enema, lying on one's stomach flat out with legs spread.

PROSTATE is a gland that males have that produces semen.

It would be nice if your man was into anal sex and enemas. Does he like using toys with you? Anal jewelry? Watching you walk around the place naked and just being you?

I love enemas and everything about them. They serve a lot of 'purposes' .. health, yes .. but they are THE most intimate thing between two people that I know of. Because they are considered 'taboo' by 'good' people .. you have to be very careful about who knows about your love of enemas. It's not just the sex .. it is the intimacy that goes with it between the two who are sharing the experience.

There's a lot more to them than meets the eye. And there's even more to enemas when you introduce them to other sex play .. BDSM .. for example. I agree rosebud68 .. and hopefully you will find a friend you can do your nails with .. jog with .. write with .. and have enemas with.

Good luck.

No one has a "prostate". Prostate is a position that might be preferred by some to receive an enema, lying on one's stomach flat out with legs spread.

PROSTATE is a gland that males have that produces semen.

I agree about the spelling of the gland. It has been gone over ad nauseum here. All the women know at least half of you guys don't know how to spell it.

BUT, if we're getting technical, the prostate gland does NOT produce semen. It produces PROSTATIC FLUID, which when combined with the sperm from the testes, secretions from the seminal vesicle which nourish the sperm and sugars and mucus from the bulbourethral glands forms semen. Semen is the mixture of everything that comes out when you ejaculate it is not one component. The prostate produces only about a quarter of the ejaculatory volume. The greatest volume, about two thirds of the semen, comes from the seminal vesicle.

Susie you are sooooo on the ball about this nit wit prostate thing. Most guys don't know where it is much less what it does. The women usually do and know what to do. My best to you!

I have experienced this many times with guys. I will talk about anal subjects get conversation into enemas and offer to give them one.I get bag out fill with soapy water start to lube anus and bingo He gets a instant erection and forgets enemaplay and starts having sex and usually cums within minutes. I think guys with this fetish get more excitement talking and getting prepped and forget about enema because they have such a mental physical thing going on. I have experienced this many times.

Wish I had ginnie's experience with several women.

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that men have a prostate, but women do not. Anal stimulation has more potential to be pleasurable for a man than for a woman.